Emperor Baby Fists is now officially the 45th president of the United States of America. Perhaps he will be our last president, because I’m sure he’s trying to figure out a way to declare himself Lord Commander of The Wall for life. Ugh, so let’s do this. I’m hoping to knock out a lot of different sh-t in one post so I don’t have to go on and on about it.
Fashion notes: the one nice thing I’ll say about La Familia de Baby Fists and this entire sh-tshow was that I genuinely thought Melania looked nice. Traditionally, Republican wives wear red to inaugural events, but Melania chose an ice-blue Ralph Lauren suit for the inauguration and a white gown by Hervé Pierre for the inaugural balls. Apparently, Melania approached Pierre for the gown, and he says that she already knew exactly what she wanted.
The inaugural speech. Bless anyone who could watch it without breaking their televisions or barfing on someone or something. I did not watch his speech and I’m not going to. I heard that it was petty, angry, dictatorial and rude towards President Obama. What a shock. This also happened:
— Jahova (@JahovasWitniss) January 20, 2017
Michelle Obama was all of us. No explanation needed.
— Tyler Oakley (@tyleroakley) January 20, 2017
— Jörgen Camrath (@uniwave) January 20, 2017
The Crowd, Part I. This issue wouldn’t be so f—king funny if Baby Fists didn’t care so much about it. Basically, the Emperor’s inauguration crowd was pathetic. While it’s mean (and funny) to compare the size of the crowd to Obama’s first inauguration – which was the largest event DC had ever seen – it seems like Baby Fists didn’t even get half the crowd/audience. See:
— KEANNA + MONTI (@prttysimplelife) January 20, 2017
The Crowd, Part 2. BABY FISTS IS SO MAD. He’s so mad that the crooked media is talking about the small size of crowd. He has the most bigly crowd of all!!! Emperor Baby Fists went to the CIA on Saturday and during his speech, he whined about how the media was “lying” about the size of crowd. Again, it wouldn’t be so funny if he didn’t care so much – he actually WHINED TO THE CIA about it. Think about that. For what it’s worth – the Women’s March was probably more than double the size of Baby Fists’ inauguration.
— Vox (@voxdotcom) January 21, 2017
A Nazi got punched in the face. Here’s a palate cleanser: every time a Nazi a–hole gets punched in the face, an angel gets his wings. I’m not saying you should punch every Nazi in the face, but I’m not NOT saying that either. This is footage of Alt-Right douchebag Richard Spencer getting punched in the face on Inauguration Day.
— Tariq Nasheed (@tariqnasheed) January 20, 2017
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News.