People: Ben Affleck’s rehab stay ‘was too little too late’ but Jen waited to file

People Magazine has a more in-depth article about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s mutual divorce filing, because we haven’t heard about it ad nauseum for years. Their source quotes are pretty much what we’ve heard to date, that Ben and Jen want to be there for their kids, that this was a coordinated effort, and that they’re working together throughout this transition, basically. There’s a little bit more to parse in the quotes about Affleck’s decision to go to rehab, which People’s source says was Affleck’s attempt to save the marriage, and which Garner respected by waiting to file. As for Ben moving out of the guest house, that will happen at some point probably, but it sounds like he’s not in a hurry at all. There’s no mention of Ben dating, or of him not dating “seriously,” as we heard in somewhat conflicting stories from TMZ and E! Online. Here’s part of People’s story:

Now that their divorce is proceeding, the two “will continue to amicably work at their relationship to make this new phase work for the kids,” Violet, 11, Seraphina, 8, and Samuel, 5, a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue.

So what finally drove them to file? Sources on both sides insist a divorce was always the plan and the decision to file was mutual. “It was just time,” says a source. “There was no catalyst.”

But other insiders say strain over Affleck’s problems early this year dashed any hopes of a reconciliation — and led Garner to be finally ready to move on. “It came down to his last-ditch attempt at saving things by going to rehab,” says a source close to the situation. “But it was just too little too late.”

The two filed divorce papers one month after Affleck completed treatment for alcohol addiction. “Jen waited for the right time,” says a Garner source. “She wasn’t going to file for divorce while Ben was struggling. She is very proud of him for getting help.”

However, says the source close to the couple: “As in any marriage, there were numerous reasons why it didn’t work.”

For now, as the two work with divorce attorney Laura Wasser to divide their assets, Affleck will continue to live in the couple’s guest house. “When and if he moves out, it will be when he finds a place suitable for their situation,” says the source close to the couple. “They want to keep the kids close.”

[From People]

Ok so this part of the People print edition story of their split I guess. It’s bizarre to me that in all these stories about whether Ben is or isn’t going to move out of the guest house, and whether he is or isn’t going to date, that there’s no mention of the fact that he’s already dated, in fact he “dated” his kids’ nanny, and that he already had moved out of the family compound around that time. He was renting a home owned by Brooke Shields in the same neighborhood. So it’s not like he’s been with his family, faithful and clamoring for Jen’s attention the entire time. He’s been absent, he’s been drinking, he’s been likely very moody and hot and cold. (Remember what Jen said in her Vanity Fair interview about how he can be the sun or he can cast a shadow?) Meanwhile we get countless sourced quotes about how they’re working together, we get paparazzi photos of them taking the kids to church, and there’s a sense that they’re just this nice couple who couldn’t make it work ultimately. Jen and Ben worked hard to make us forget that Ben slept with the help, and they worked hard to sell this sanitized version of their split. They’ve worked on this for two years. In one sense it’s admirable that they’re so willing to work together for their kids, but it also shows how committed they both are to their public image. They both care about that deeply. As I always say, I hope Ben stays committed to his sobriety too. That’s going to make a huge difference for him and for his family.

In Touch claims that Jen filed because Ben only did rehab for 14 days, allegedly, and didn’t do a minimum of 28 days treatment. Their insider says that Ben “refused to stay in rehab, saying he missed the family and would continue outpatient treatment. Jen believes he was coming up with excuses. It’s extremely distressing to her, so she decided to move forward with the divorce.” This is pretty much consistent with People’s report, however I think after everything that happened between them there was little to nothing he could have done. She’s dealt with his rollercoaster of sh-t for years, she knows the good times don’t last.




Photos credit: FameFlynet

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85 Responses to “People: Ben Affleck’s rehab stay ‘was too little too late’ but Jen waited to file”

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  1. Elisa the I. says:

    Good for her! Also, WTF re the blue dress, the shoes, the bag. O_o

  2. KB says:

    If he’s already dating, I don’t think the rehab was any attempt to save anything. It seems like she wants people to think he was trying harder than he actually was to save the marriage.

    • vauvert says:

      Why is it always Jen who wants to save anything? If Ben had wanted to date publicly he would have. If Ben wouldn’t have wanted to go to rehab as a last ditch attempt to save the marriage, what on earth forced him to go? You can’t have it both ways – she’s a doormat and he does but he wants, but she somehow made him not file for two years, she made him not date publicly, she made him go to rehab.
      I think their relationship was and sis a lot more complicated than most people believe. He is the guy, his is the bigger career, he could have initiated anything – different story, much sooner divorce, and moved for good out of their property to party all day and night. He chose differently. My feeling is that the dynamic is quite different than most people assume. I think part of the reason Jen acted this way was exactly because she wanted to change the narrative from “cheated upon wife” – she didn’t want to ket the nanny steal the spotlight and guess what, that girl disappeared from view pretty fast. And where has Ben been all this time? Why, with his wife. With the kids. Not seen in casinos with models on his arm.

      • Tina says:

        I agree with you. Their relationship is very complicated. I sense a great deal of hurt and anger from both sides. I doubt very much this is an amicable split. We will probably start hearing that nothing he did was ever good enough. We heard that a lot when they first separated.

      • KB says:

        The article is claiming he went to rehab like a month ago to save a marriage he torpedoed two years ago. I mean it’s possible he wanted to save it, but it’s a pretty s****y attempt, imo. I just think it’s more likely he’s one of those passive aggressive guys that is kind of spineless and goes along with whatever the mom of his kids says, secretly resenting her all the while. But I could be wrong, I don’t know anything more than the stuff I read here.

      • greg says:

        A man who thinks it’s appropriate to sleep with his kids’ nanny right under his wife’s nose does not want to be married to her any longer, separated or not. I think Ben is a complicated person who does not want to become his father. He doesn’t want to be perceived as the bad guy in the press, which is why he started to circle the drain when the nanny stuff came out, NOT when they announced their separation. He’s the guilty party publicly and he knows it. He needs her to file first and he needs her to say all the right things about him. He’s still Batman, he’s the one who has the big career. He’s obsessed with his public image. He needs to come out of this as unscathed as possible. If he had filed for divorce and taken a relationship public he would get pummeled by the rags. It would not surprise me one iota if their PR people concocted this notion of allowing the tabloids to run stories about a possible reconciliation as an image rehab while it was never going to happen. I basically think that this is what the sources are confirming. The last two years have been a charade.

      • greg says:

        @KB I totally agree. I think Jen and their therapist/publicist decided on a timeline that would best suit their kids and their/her image and he’s been following her lead because he’s the one who screwed up. It’s a bit baffling to me that there are people who still believe that this is not happening. LOL. They have filed. Their PR people are floating stories about dating to the rags. Their kids know that they have filed. They might be famewhores but they aren’t going to subject their three young kids to this unless they were serious.

      • ELX says:

        Ben has always struck me as very like Francis Ford Coppola in this regard: cheating constantly but then crawling home on his belly when his wife decides to leave. Jennifer, to her credit, is being kind, but not willing to put up with any more nonsense. Down the road, when she has a serious boyfriend and is ready to introduce him to their children, Ben will probably lose his mind.

    • JoJo says:

      @KB above (somehow my comment ended up down here) – Agreed. And this is why I also won’t be surprised if she ultimately doesn’t want to go through with finalizing the divorce. I still don’t think she’s done with this – if you look at history, she might never be. Let’s see whether he actually moves out…

      • D says:

        You are… too much. Are you serious? They are deliberately floating the dating other people stuff to get everyone ready for new relationships. It’s been over for ages. I guess diehard stans will be diehard stans.

      • JoJo says:

        Nope, not a stan. The opposite, actually. I think their marriage was a rebound and has been a mess since nearly the beginning. But that doesn’t mean I think their dysfunctional dynamic has changed all of a sudden because they filed. Unfortunately, yes, I really will be surprised if she loosens the reins and if he moves out and truly moves on and if the divorce gets finalized. But not because I think they’re a good couple. Just the opposite. Old, bad habits are hard to break, and I’m not convinced they have yet (or more specifically, that she has …)

    • Cherise says:

      It is perfectly in order for a mother to hide the ugly bits of her marriage to her kids dad to the general public. I believe that his half hearted rehab stint was her final straw. I also believe that Ben doesnt want the world to know this given how he quickly presented his rehab narrative. Even we here questioned how long he had gone away and whether it was enough before she filed. Jen also doesnt want the world to know this because honestly why would she? Would you want that out there? I think its useful for both parties and most importantly their kids to sell the idea that “the time had come”.

  3. Mia4s says:

    He went to rehab to try and save his marriage?? Oh that’s not good. If that’s true he went because he “had” to, not because he wanted too. That won’t stick. I wonder if it’s even stuck this long.

    • the girl with a horse says:

      It’s a new tabloid invention. When he initially came out of rehab, the statements were all about how he is doing this for himself, wants to be healthier and more balanced, wants to be a better dad, there was no catalyst, etc. Now the rags are changing their tune because they want the clicks.

  4. Artemis says:

    I’m not going to fault Garner. Their slow final separation and divorce is much better than recent dramatic divorces (Heard and Depp, Jolie and Pitt). At least Affleck’s demons don’t include abuse towards his wife and/or children. He was not a good husband and it takes a lot of patience and self-control from any woman to navigate through that so why be annoyed at Garner? She came out relatively unscathed (well outwards anyway, it must burn her heart that her marriage imploded in the way it did) and she deserves some peace.

    People are hoping for Jolie and Pitt to get together again when there’s evidence he’s hurt his family in some way and Depp was for way too long defended because they didn’t like Heard. Methinks Garner is not liked because she wouldn’t stop fighting for her marriage and didn’t spin out of control (stepford wife for life) and really there is nothing bad about that when their children will reap the benefits. Just like Goop and Chris had a drawn out separation, when there’s kids involved and when one party loves the other more, it’s preferably to do it this way instead hurting each other via the media.

    If a person can end the marriage on not just cordial speaking terms but proper communication and partnership, then that’s a good end to a marriage. Of course they are controlling the media narrative but again, the kids will benefit the most.

    • Mildred Pierce says:

      I keep going back and forth with who is worse between Brad, Johnny or Ben. Can’t believe I used to love them all.

    • ELX says:

      I think she’s really smart to not become his adversary. He’s an addict who’s been in and out of rehab and she needs to work out a visitation/custody situation without igniting WWIII. Let’s face it–in the good publicity department, she just doesn’t have to work that hard; he’s the one with the ton of baggage: booze, coke, strippers, booty calls, whatever, to sweep under the rug.

      So, apparently there’s some woman out there that he’s not dating seriously–do you think he was smart enough this time to get the BDA up front so she can’t sell her story once she figures out she’s just an occasional good time and not an official girlfriend?

      On the flip side, she probably will ignite WWIII when there’s another man in her life and their children’s lives.

  5. Nicole says:

    That’s sad but you can’t save people from their addiction if they don’t WANT to get help. It ends up eating you alive as well and since she has kids that’s not healthy.

  6. D says:

    Sources on both sides insist a divorce was always the plan and the decision to file was mutual. “It was just time,” says a source. “There was no catalyst.” Always the plan, then goes on to claim that Ben is jumping through hoops to save it? Their alleged sources sound like they have their wires crossed.

    • KB says:

      This has been the case all along except her sources have occasionally made it sound like he’s been trying to fix himself for her or wanting to work it out or the divorce is off and then his sources hit back with “no, they’re not getting back together and they’re still separated.” It’s hard for me to believe anything other than him being over it but wanting her to pull the trigger.

      Ultimately, her reluctance to do so has been massively beneficial for him, but I still think it’s her that has been reluctant. He’s too self-destructive to probably even realize how much their meandering with the whole thing has helped his image.

  7. DavidBowie says:

    All I can think when I look at those pictures is “I bought a dress similar to hers. Will I look as frumpy in it as she does?” Maybe the reason she finally filed is because he wasn’t really in rehab and went to have more plastic surgery instead? You can skate on that forehead.

  8. smee says:

    If she’s really that worried about her image, she needs a stylist too. I totally get dressing conservatively for church, but that is ill-fitting, old lady fug right there.

    Two weeks of rehab? Just enough time to white knuckle it and drop some lbs. I predict that once he’s left to his own de(vices) he’ll return to drinking, drugging, gambling and chasing younger women, then show up for “family time” hungover. I suspect his leading man days are over. Hope she can find a nice partner – she deserves it, after all this crap.

  9. hannah says:

    Eh, tabloids scrambling to stay on top of a situation they probably know very little about. That said, I think the report in US about her wanting to file earlier this year was legit. I think she’s sick of him and his problems and wants to really be done. I think Ben going to rehab for a few minutes was because Jen could not in good conscience file for divorce and agree to joint custody unless he detoxed and started a program. Have heard that both of them have been dating and moving on.

  10. SAMIA says:

    jennifer jesus tells us to forgive forgive him this ma will change and his children and you must help him it is not too late if you really believe in god then forgive faith in god is forgiveness my sister;……;

  11. margie says:

    can anyone tell me about her sunglasses shes wearing with the navy blue sweater?

  12. christine says:

    I’ve never thought that they were reconciling, not even for a second. They were secretly separated for months prior to Nannygate. She admitted that he hadn’t kissed her in ages (and really, how could she let him touch her in any way after he had been with their young nanny? I don’t blame her). I also think that some crazy stuff went down over their not-so-happy holiday vacation that led to him going to rehab for a second and that was the last straw for her and she no longer wants to be known as his wife. The cons outweigh the pros. He has publicly embarrassed her so many times. I think if stuff hadn’t become so public (that Oscar speech that started it, getting thrown out of casinos, the nanny, Finding Your Roots, rehab, embarrassing appearances on tv) maybe she could stick it out but she can’t handle the public humiliations. I saw the clip about them on TMZ TV (regarding dating) and everyone was making fun of their marriage. Being an adorable power couple is no longer a viable option and hasn’t been for a long time. It’s dunzo.

    • The Original Mia says:

      I agree, Christine. Never believed they were getting back together. He has done too much & the nanny was the final straw.

    • Originaltessa says:

      To me, if my husband betrayed me in that way, I’d have a very hard time even looking at him anymore, let alone spending so much time with him and basically being his bff and constant companion for two years. That’s why I’m led to thinking she’s not in love with him anymore. She’s done. She can be around him because she has no feeling attached. It doesn’t hurt. They’re done.

  13. the girl with a horse says:

    There seem to be two distinct, conflicting trains of thought in regard to what the so-called sources are claiming. One side is saying that they were always going to divorce despite what the tabloids said and there was no catalyst for the filing (it was just time). The other side is trying to say that they’ve been trying to save their marriage all along but the last straw was Ben needing to go to rehab. I think some of these sources are out of the loop. The former side makes sense to me, the latter does not. YMMV.

  14. katie says:

    Since they got married I’ve been expecting them to break up. She’s the sanctimonious, nagging Girl Scout, and he’s the jerk who just wants to fool around with many women and enjoy his many vices. The kids that she kept having and their mutually beneficial public image has kept their pitiful little union on life support all these years. NBD. Did anyone ever figure out what Ben was doing in NYC the first few days of his kids’ break? I wonder who he is dating.

    • Mannori says:

      I think TMZ figured it and hence the “dating not seriously” statement. Very weird and suspicious just hours after you file for divorce and after a (really short and equally suspicious) stint in rehab. We’re not getting the whole story. not just yet.

  15. zooloo says:

    These people live and die by the press. I think they probably planned an image rehab to last until after Ben’s last movie (Live by Night) had to be promoted to officially file. They’ve been doing a little amicable co-parenting song and dance for the last two years and now it’s over. Hasn’t been a real, healthy marriage for years, if ever. Zzzzzz. Curious to see who he ends up with next.

  16. Ana says:

    I predict that he is not going to be a consistent father. Once all this settled down, he will be back to being occasional father.

  17. Jayna says:

    They were separated for quite a while, not together. I believe her in the VF interview when she said she hadn’t been kissed in eight months and was estranged to the point that she was no part of Ben’s life when he was filming Live by Night, or whatever it’s called. Somewhere during later 2016 I think they started working towards staying together but keeping it private. He was seen going out to dinner with her alone. He went out to dinner with Jen and her parents. They were seen last fall going to counseling. They didn’t come out until two hours later. Ben’s drinking problems I think got worse when LBN bombed, The Batman script falling apart. He doesn’t handle those things well. He was struggling again worse than usual and the attempt at a reconciliation fell apart.

    I’m glad he went into rehab. But as many have said, two weeks is only drying out. Unless he’s getting lots of outpatient help, he will start slipping again.

    It’s a smart move backing out of Batman writing, directing and acting in it. The stress would have exacerbated his drinking problem.

    • Miss M says:

      Jayna, good recap on their timeline. I think I was being very cynical thinking that she would be announcing a new relationship soon. I think what you said makes sense.

    • tori spellings auditor says:

      -1 He’s been drinking heavily since June 2016 at the very least, when he appeared on that talk show blitzed out of his mind. Then there was the disheveled appearance at the Suicide Squad after party. Not to mention all of those airport pics of him looking like he spent the flight drinking (and the blind items to go with them). LOL he did not just start drinking again in late Fall/early Winter when his movie bombed. It’s been a thing for at least a year.

      • Jenfan says:

        If you believe people mag (and at this point they have zero credibility), Jen’s relationship with Ben always up and down. – most likely fueled by his drinking. Last spring March – May seemed on the up – no public drunkeness and a lot of sighting in Europe. June – August , I agree a lot of public drunkeness and no sightings of the two. He seemed to have things more under control when he retuned from London until Dec (about 3 months) – and it did look like they were working on it then. But if there is a new GF now – when did he start seeing her? In rehab? Whatever – time to move on.

      • Jayna says:

        I said, “Ben’s drinking problems I think got worse then.” I never said Ben’s drinking problem STARTED in late fall/early winter. But the problems with Batman and the failure of LBN, a total bomb, could have sent him spiraling, binge drinking.

      • Mannori says:

        I remember clearly when he was doing the Gone Girl promo tour, when it premiered at NYC he looked bloated and Garner wasn’t with him. I think he had a side piece in NYC all this time.

  18. serena says:

    ‘As in any marriage there were many reason why it didn’t work’ … yeah, it’s not gonna make us forget he slept with his kids’ nanny (and who knows who elses before) and had a drinking problem. I think those were the main issues.

  19. tori spellings auditor says:

    Uh, okay. So he goes to rehab to “save his marriage” but when that fails, 10 seconds later he’s dating someone? No. I think rehab was a custody thing.

    • JoJo says:

      I agree he was drinking well before LBN bombed, although that likely made it much worse. There were pics and TV incidents earlier last summer – i.e. the one of him with his fly unzipped. I fully believe the final straw had to do with infidelity, likely during a heavy drinking period over/after the holidays. I 100% don’t think Jen would have left for the addiction alone – especially after he went to rehab. This lines up with recent blinds that suggest he couldn’t stay faithful. Not that I think it technically qualifies as infidelity since they were separated, but if they were in a period where they were supposed to be “trying” to work on things, she would have seen it that way and probably rightly so. I think they probably had off and on periods where they “tried” to work on things over the last few years, but I think Ben’s motivation was primarily post-nannygate guilt for publicly shaming the family and himself and “wanting to want” to be in the marriage, but I just don’t think he was ever really in it the way she was.

    • HappyMom says:

      Yes-totally a custody thing. I think she threatened to spill on what is way more than just alcohol abuse in order to embarrass him and get sole custody. He went to rehab to try and save his relationship with his children-not with her.

  20. urs says:

    Oh please. If you actually believe that he went to rehab to save his marriage, I have a bridge to sell you for a very good price. Everyone knows that he’s a drunk and a drug addict and Jen knows better than most. She would’ve probably filed for sole custody if he hadn’t gone. Furthermore, why is a guy who just tried everything to allegedly save his marriage looking so good and happy since they filed? Why is he dating and househunting? Doesn’t seem like he’s too broken up over it, does he?

  21. Andrea says:

    She should give Gwen Stefani a call–I don’t mean that sarcastically either. They have a lot in common.

  22. tandy says:

    People magazine has zero credibility left. On 3/9 they reported that the divorce was off. Then this week they tried to use creative word order to try to deny that Ben was dating when in fact they were CONFIRMING that he is dating. Now they are trying to claim they know what Jen’s thinking and motivations are in a divorce filing they didn’t even see coming. They are chickens with their heads cut off. They/their source have NO idea what the real deal is. US mag’s source seems to be legit. I say this after I’ve clicked on the Ben Affleck tag on this site and glanced back at what rags were reporting what. It’s enlightening. Going back several years their marriage has been rocked with divorce rumors for-ev-er.

  23. Libra girl says:

    He is not a commitment guy. He drinks, gambles, etc and I don’t judge that, but as far as relationships go, just doesn’t seem like his thing. I feel like he thinks that’s what he’s supposed to do but isn’t really into it. She was always so “mother” like with him. People don’t change, I can’t imagine he wasn’t like this when they met. Just get the damn divorce already.

  24. JoJo says:

    And … Ben and Jen just spotted out together this morning via x17. Mark my words – this divorce isn’t going through.

    • D says:

      Yawn. Both look very unhappy. Prob going to a meeting re: their divorce.

    • B says:

      Probably a school thing. They went their separate ways afterwards, per DM.

    • fiona says:

      Actually DM says that they somberly chatted in a parked car. I think Jen was out shopping, Ben was out doing his thing, he called her and they met up to chat in his car about something. From his pics he looks like he was maybe at a medical center?

      • JoJo says:

        What’s the reason to stage it though? They’re going to pull something exactly like their initial split in 2015. They’ll drag out/put off finalizing the divorce, and they’ll be shelling out the same BS language about not being in any rush to finalize. It’s just toxic.

      • kylie says:

        They looked way too happy at Easter and since they’ve filed. The minivan crowd wants to see some remorse. TMZ exposing Ben having a girlfriend and looking for a house “already” is probably rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. I don’t think they’ll drag it out anymore than they have to. They would alienate their remaining fans, which would be the end of both of them. People are already sick of hearing about them. They wouldn’t have filed if they weren’t serious about it — there is literally no reason whatsoever to take that step.

      • Tina says:

        These pictures are so odd. Ben looks really rough, he had been looking better recently.

      • Sadie says:

        Agreed. The reason is simple too. To make sure everyone knows that they are still on good terms and that the divorce was amicable. This whole relationship/breakup is very PR heavy. I would be surprised if we didn’t have staged pictures to be honest

      • JoJo says:

        Eh, but really for what reason? They have their regular Sunday church strolls to show they’re still united. I wasn’t wrong two years ago when I said I didn’t think they’d really divorce. If you go by TMZ’s account, that was the case. They weren’t necessarily planning to go through with it (or at least she probably wasn’t) until this recent “incident.” I really wouldn’t doubt it if this is yet another tool in her toolbox to let him know she’s serious “this time.” Doesn’t bode well for them given they’re still doing this ridiculous dance 12 years later in their mid 40s, but I honestly would not be shocked. I just won’t believe it until it happens, and even then we’ll probably be subjected to the “jealousy over significant others” stories for years.

      • kylie says:

        I maintain that they’ll occasionally appear together in public looking somber. That will be part of their PR strategy. As for TMZ, well, they’re just another differing opinion, aren’t they? Other sources cited by tabloids say that divorce was always the plan regardless of what anyone said. TMZ also says that Ben is seeing someone. @jojo You must have an incredibly low opinion of Jennifer Garner to think that she would file for divorce from him if she weren’t at the absolute end. I think she has spent the last 1.5 years preparing for this and I believe the rumors that she has been seeing others (as he has). She wouldn’t put her children through this if she weren’t serious.

      • JoJo says:

        I tend to believe TMZ. They’ve stayed out of the “will they, won’t they” fray over the last two years, and they took a stand in March about the divorce filing being on and didn’t waver from that. People mag is the one now saying divorce was always the plan, only weeks after saying it was on hold – they have zero credibility now. I don’t have a low opinion of Garner, but yep, I do think she’s co-dependent when it comes to Ben, and he probably is as well. There are plenty of couples – with kids – that have filed but have not gone through with it (Megan Fox?) I just don’t see these two breaking their dysfunctional cycle.

  25. ScotiaGirl says:

    I am reading some twitter traffic that strongly suggests that Ben and Chrissy O the Nanny might still be hooking up and that is who he was in NY with. Apparently she is working for ET now??

    Have no idea if this is true or not but it’s out there!