Warning: this post contains spoilers for 13 Reasons Why
Since its debut on March 31, the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why has been controversial. Based on a best-selling young adult novel by Jay Asher, the series plays out the reasons why a high school student made the decision to take her own life. The student, Hannah Baker (played by Katherine Langford), leaves behind a series of 13 cassettes addressing the people and events that led her to her tragic end and leads viewers on a mysterious trail (a narrative structure that has received its share of criticism). Hannah’s story unfolds through her classmate and former co-worker Clay, played by Dylan Minnette. The show has received critical and fan acclaim and is poised for a second season.
Because of the controversial subject matter, Netflix has taken proactive action to make sure the series is not perceived as advocating suicide. In addition to pre-episode warnings, the streaming service has made resources available to those who struggle with the issues and events depicted in the show via a website, 13ReasonsWhy.info. The network is also streaming a half hour special, Beyond the Reasons, with interviews with the cast and crew along with segments featuring mental health professionals addressing some of the tough issues the series covers.
Despite the warnings and information, the show is still facing some opposition. Some Canadian schools have banned any discussions about the show due to what it perceives as “glamorization of suicidal behavior and [depicting] negative portrayals of helping professionals.” In New Zealand, the show has a RP18 rating, which classifies the show as “restricted to persons who have attained the age of 18 years, or who are accompanied by a parent or guardian.”
In response to these and other criticisms, the streaming network agreed to add additional warnings prior to episodes including potentially triggering scenes of rape and Hannah’s suicide. In a statement issued this week, Netflix announced:
While many of our members find the show to be a valuable driver for starting important conversation with their families, we have also heard concern from those who feel the series should carry additional advisories. Currently the episodes that carry graphic content are identified as such and the series overall carries a TV-MA rating. Moving forward, we will add an additional viewer warning card before the episode as an extra precaution for those about to start the series.
As for the graphic on-screen depiction of Hannah’s suicide, novelist Jay Asher told Entertainment Weekly that it was a necessary element of the series. He said, “They felt for a TV series, if you’re going to watch it, you want to show it as horrific as it actually is. So the way she does it, you can’t watch it and feel like it’s glamorized in any way. It looks and is painful, and then when she’s found by her parents, it absolutely destroys them.”
On Beyond the Reasons, show creator Brian Yorkey mirrored Asher’s sentiments, asserting, “We worked very hard not to be gratuitous, but we did want it to be painful to watch because we wanted it to be very clear that there is nothing, in any way, worthwhile about suicide.”
In a recent essay for Vanity Fair, series writer Nic Sheff defended the show’s depiction of suicide, especially after attempting to take his own life. He feels the series has a message that needs to be faced head-on, telling the magazine:
As soon as I read the pilot for 13 Reasons Why, I immediately knew it was a project I wanted to be involved in. I was struck by how relevant and even necessary a show like this was: offering hope to young people, letting them know that they are not alone—that somebody out there gets them. In 13 Reasons Why…I saw the opportunity to explore issues of cyberbullying, sexual assault, depression, and what it means to live in a country where women are devalued to the extent that a man who brags about sexually assaulting them can still be elected president. And, beyond all that, I recognized the potential for the show to bravely and unflinchingly explore the realities of suicide for teens and young adults—a topic I felt very strongly about.
It’s probably no surprise that executive producer Selena Gomez also defended the series, telling the Associated Press “We stayed very true to the book and that’s initially what Jay Asher created, was a beautifully tragic, complicated yet suspenseful story, and I think that’s what we wanted to do.” She adds that she knew the series’ treatment of the subject matter would be subject to backlash, and admits “It’s not an easy subject to talk about, but I’m very fortunate with how it’s doing and I’m overwhelmed, very proud of it.”
I am still working my way through the series. It’s quite compelling, and I think, in this day and age, it’s important, especially for parents, to see stories like this represented. I have seen lots of posts on Facebook from my “Mom friends” saying the show is tough to watch, but they’re glad they did. I don’t think the show glamorizes suicide, but I am kind of sad it exists in the first place, because, like many television shows and movies, they’re just offering their take on the stories that are happening in real life.
Photos: Getty Images, Fame Flynet
People I know are giving this show a pass, but I’m not. I think it’s only a matter of time until we start seeing copycat behavior from teens who either do end up committing suicide or ones that think about it. As adults we can watch this and talk about it rationally, but no matter what people say, 11, 12, 13 year olds are generally not emotionally mature enough to not ingest the wrong message here (and that’s the age I’ve heard some of my mom friends say they are having to decide whether to let their kids watch it).
There have been teachers already reporting that their students are displaying uncomfortable behavior and referencing the show. Many schools have sent home notices about it. I’m not giving the show a pass either.
Same. I’m hearing entirely too much about early teens wanting/trying to emulate this show. While it could act as a deterrent to some, it’s only encouraging behaviors in others. No pass from me.
Our school district superintendent just sent out an email last night about the show. Her message was that most middle and high schoolers can differentiate between the show and their lives, but that kids who are vulnerable may not be able to adequately separate the events on the show from their own feelings and experiences. It was a balanced, thoughtful communication, and she linked to a lot of useful resources.
I haven’t seen the show, so I can’t speak to specifics. But I think it’s hard as adults to remember just how impressionable we were at a younger age. And especially nowadays, the kids have such a veneer of maturity in this media-saturated age. My son is in 4th grade, so this particular show isn’t on his radar — but I’m constantly having to explain issues, images, and words that weren’t even in my world when I was 10. And it only gets more complicated as they get older.
This story is incredibly similar to what happened in Nova Scotia Canada a few years ago. If you believe this tv show will promote copy cat suicides, you aren’t paying attention to what’s going in outside of a television! Google Rhateah (I’ve mispelled, I’m sure) Parsons.
I had just moved to Nova Scotia when Retheah committed suicide after what happened to her. Her story broke my heart. That poor kid, and those guys barely got a slap on the wrist. It was horrifying.
She’s all I could think about when I watched it. Originally from NL here.
there are also plenty of teens who are saying it discouraged their self-harming thoughts.
idk, i’m not a teen anymore, but i was in my late teens when i read the book. i can see both sides of the argument, but i do believe showing everything especially that late in the season when it didn’t add much anymore, is problematic. it’s still a very good show imo, to watch with caution and awareness of the subject matter. it’s good if for example it sparks a discussion between parents and teen agers, and it could encourage them to watch it together and talk about it.
also it surprises me that it didn’t have all those warnings beforehand, did people at netflix not watch it? that said, i don’t believe this is a show for 11,12 yo. it’s most definitely a 13+, if not more, given the way they handled the content.
True but again there are guidelines for a reason. Teens are way more prone to copycat behavior than adults. This has been studied at length.
When talking about suicide, its horrible to say “commit” it is a form of stigmatizing terminology,
as suicide is not a crime.
Totally agree, Rose.
I was thinking about the terminology a few days ago, and ‘commit’ really needs to be taken out of circulation in reference to self-harm and suicidal behaviour.
It’s not a crime, and it’s appalling that it used to be considered one.
***Trigger Warning***
I’m a suicide survivor and former practicer of self harm and I’ve never thought about the connotation “commit” has in this context. It’s quite fascinating, really. And I’m guilty of using this word, in this particular fashion, every time I reference myself and my story.
I completely agree. As I was watching it, I felt it absolutely glorified suicide, revenge and dramatics. Suicide obviously being the most dangerous to be glorified. I didn’t finish the series as I did not enjoy it but up to where I watched it seemed to emphasize a blaming of others on her suicide. I think this is dangerous also…I can imagine a young adolescent being bullied and then deciding to self harm to prove a point to peers.
self to prove a point??? really no no self harm is part of a mental health issue. If someone s self harming it is about pain and sadness and normally close with having depression or a ED. People may self harm to get peoples attention but maybe because they want help and don’t know how. if someone is self harming its not about proving anything, they need help and support.
if someone is self harming they need COMPASSION.
People need to understand that bully someone can have serve consequences.
I feel like the person who wrote this book, didn’t go into how suicide and suicidal behaviors actual come into effect…………I feel like more the concept was “Bullying is bad because suicide! Don’t be a bully!”.
Yes, agreed VirgiliaCoriolanus! I am not sure if this is true in all cases of suicide, but I think in many cases there is a lot of anxiety, and feeling like things will never get better, or that no one could possibly understand what you have gone through. The anxiety – the intense thoughts, the feeling that your situation is unchangeably permanent – leading up to contemplation of suicide can be extremely intense. Sometimes anxiety and suicide doesn’t even have to be triggered by a traumatic event, just a sense that things will never get better, that you are stuck and no one can help.
And I felt the netflix series didn’t accurately portray the anxiety, shame, sense of no way out.
the main lens of the series was rape culture, victim blaming, bullying, gossip, etc..Not really suicide.
I liked the show, but as a woman in my mid 30’s I saw soooo many issues with it. The first being the complete lack of discussion regarding Hannah suffering from depression or mental illness. If you’re a teen taking the show at face value, the message is very confusing. It almost glorifies beautiful Hannah and her “revenge” plot against her peers. But where was the feisty Hannah that made the tapes in real life? She obviously had the voice to speak up and defend herself. She wasn’t completely broken in that she could still see right from wrong and understand the flaws and misgivings of her peers, yet she thought all hope was lost for her??? Why??? They never get into the fact that she was obviously very sick. They make her actions almost seem rational and appropriate given her circumstances. They weren’t.
Exactly what my daughter said; it’s about bullying. She teaches middle school (6th. 7th. 8th grades). She mentioned the show to the principal, pertaining to notifying parents.
I wish I could get into what she stated the young students who watched it said. Victim blaming.
My daughter’s school has had 2 suicides this year – one of them was a friend of my daughter. She had just finished reading the book when the girl committed suicide. She had been preparing to watch the show but I asked her to hold off for now. I do hope that parents are either watching first or watching with their kids.
My daughter has bipolar and tried to kill herself 3 years ago. When she first heard about the series, she wanted to watch it, but after the initial reviews, she decided not to. I’m not allowing my 13 and 15 year old to watch it either, especially my 13 year old. I pulled him out of school in December after a year of bullying in Middle School and professional counseling because of suicidal thoughts. I saw my once happy, outgoing, loving and generous child become moody, despondent, angry and unhappy. The final straw was when he showed up for school one day and a classmate who knew he was struggling said, “Why don’t you just do us all a favor and drink bleach and die?” I did not know about this until the next day when my son showed up at school and this same student said, “I see you didn’t take my advice. I told you to drink bleach and die. Get it right next time.” The school called me at that point. I retrieved my son and in the car he said, “I’d rather be dead than have to face the bullies again.” I never took him back. He will be homeschooled until college. After 5 months I have my happy child back.
I know there has always been bullying in schools. However, I have never seen anything like what is going on today.
Oh, that is so hard to read, I can’t fathom how hard it must be to live through.
Big hugs to you and your son.
I commend you for listening to him and protecting him from the damage that level of bullying does.
I wish my parents had listened to me.
Thank you for the kind words. My daughter finally got a proper diagnosis 2 1/2 years ago by a great doctor. He put her on the right combination of medicine and she has a psychiatric service dog. She is doing great!
My son is also doing great and I am thankful I was able to pull him out of school and homeschool him.
What concerns me are all of the other children who’s parents don’t have that option. What do they do?
Your kids are blessed to have you as a parent. I am so sorry to hear what your son went through. I wonder what hell the bullies, as horrible as their behavior is, have gone through at home. Guarantee it’s not pretty.
There are thousands of other tv shows, websites, books, and activities in the world. Your kids can watch/do something else.
Re: copy cats, we are already seeing it. I work in healthcare with vulnerable youth and we normally see 5-6 kids a week tops with suicidal thoughts and the occasional attempt. Last week we saw close to 30 in 48 hours. It is very disturbing. Some of the kids’ families did say they had been watching the show. Whether it’s a big influence or not, the sheer number of kids is disturbing.
So true, there’s reasons why kids do impulsive things and are highly impressionable at that age. Teenagers’ brains don’t fully mature until 25, the last part to form is their prefrontal cortex. That’s the area where critical thinking kicks in high gear and erratic compulsive behaviours are curtailed. It’s not just about trusting your kid, it’s about their noggins still being vulnerable on how they process information.
I think many of the criticisms are coming because adults are watching the dramatisation of a YA book. The book itself (and the show) isn’t about suicide – it’s about rape culture, bullying and all the other problems associated with high school pecking orders and adolescence. Suicide isn’t the focus – it is the most extreme consequence of the social issues that plague teenagers. If you see what I mean.
So I don’t really agree that the depiction of unhelpful professionals is a fair criticism. The point being made is that these worlds of high school pecking orders are tremendously claustrophobic and insular and the young people inside them are not always able to access help even if it is offered. The professionals look unhelpful to the kids, even if they are actually helpful. I think the portrayal of the ineffectual efforts made at the school and by the parents are actually quite accurate in the sense that it shows how adolescents themselves often experience those efforts.
Where I do think the show is wrong is in the graphic depiction of the actual suicide in the final episode. Every piece of research and work done tells us that depictions should be off screen and with as little graphic detail of process possible.
Do not underestimate the appetite of young people for difficult or dark subject matter, by the way.
Here are the Samaritan guidelines for reporting suicide, by the way:
http://www.samaritans.org/media-centre/media-guidelines-reporting-suicide
I agree with every single point here Sixer (as usual 🙂 )
I work in children’s fiction, as you probably know. Huge numbers of kids WANT books about the most difficult topics. It’s why dystopian fiction for YA is even more popular than it is for adults. Adolescents often see their own lives as dystopian! I’ve worked on books that cover bullying, murder, racism, gang activities, rape, child abuse (sexual and violent), even incest. The general rule is that you cover the power relations and you cover the emotional landscape. You also make clear what has happened but you don’t provide blow-by-blow graphic descriptions. Basically – no making porn of what you’re covering.
Sixer, I didn’t know you worked in children’s fiction. How cool. I find it interesting that our school didn’t express any alarm about the book but felt the need to email parents about the show. I guess because Netflix is a much bigger platform than the school library, lol.
I’ve only watched the first few episodes so far and my teens aren’t watching it but it’s on our school’s radar because I just got an email from the high school district warning parents about its popularity and its subject matter. It included links to “talking points” for discussing these heavy topics with teens and reminded us of the resources available at school. This is the first time since we’ve been at the school they’ve felt the need to communicate with parents about a trending show.
They did begin the email with something like “While we know that most of our students are capable of distinguishing between fiction and reality, we believe it’s important to engage in a discussion about this popular series.” I found that to be an interesting way to broach the topic, as if somehow that “ability” can protect someone from suicidal ideation.
In any case, I do think the portrayal of professionals as mostly unhelpful is realistic. It’s not that they are incompetent, imo, it’s just that most kids just don’t have the wherewithal to reach out to them, especially if they’re in a bad place mentally, or the stigma associated with doing so is overwhelming that they just don’t.
‘They did begin the email with something like “While we know that most of our students are capable of distinguishing between fiction and reality, we believe it’s important to engage in a discussion about this popular series.” I found that to be an interesting way to broach the topic, as if somehow that “ability” can protect someone from suicidal ideation.’
this is brilliant, and so very true. i think it’s silly to treat teen agers as if they can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality, and i also think that whatever one might think of the show, if it sparks a discussion on these topics it’s only a good thing.
Contagion is an actual thing amongst adolescents so everybody does need to be careful. But censoring isn’t helpful, I find.
You are exactly right about the professionals and why the kids don’t always reach out. The thing is, this show is from a book written for kids. The book does provide the kids with a message that the adults may appear useless but they are there and, while fallible, are a resource that should be used.
I think adults watching are naturally protective of their own children and it’s very hard to face up to a blunt, painful portrayal of the very different way troubled teens see things. But which troubled teens would be helped if the show had portrayed a white knight school counsellor saving the day when that rarely, rarely happens?
BTW, Esmom – I binge-watched the whole thing with the Sixlets. Generally speaking, they’re fairly well adjusted so I wasn’t worried about the topic of suicide. I made the point to them that I didn’t think the suicide scene should have been included because the whole show had made it clear how terrible it was that a girl had died. They agreed we didn’t need to see it to know that. But their big takeaway was the second of the rape scenes. They didn’t like it and they found it very shocking. I certainly think its inclusion educated them about rape culture and consent but whether that scene being the education was a good or a bad thing – I’m on the fence about it. Show or tell? Cos they do need to understand this issue.
Sixer, without seeing the rape scenes, I tend to think the “show” aspect (vs. “tell”) is indeed educational. We talk about it all the time, but I think for many, kids especially, they need to see something to truly process it.
Well, this is the thing, isn’t it? We have had here in the UK, as you guys have, several rape cases involving prominent sports stars that kids look up to. And you know the stream of victim blaming you get and all the sorry rest of it.
In this series, there are two rapes shown. One, the girl is drunk and doesn’t really know what’s happening. The other, the girl physically acquiesces as she’s intimidated but clearly has not consented. The show then has the rapist not recognising what he has done is rape.
I could tell the Sixlets a hundred times what consent is but the impact of this depiction was orders of magnitude greater going by their reaction and it will inform their opinions of high profile real rape cases going forward. I think that’s quite important.
Not a nice watch, though. And possibly triggering for some girls watching the show. So warnings certainly required.
+1 very well said, Sixer.
+1 sixer
As a parent of a 16 y/o I thought it was brilliant and I flinched and felt ill during the last episode. My son hasn’t had an easy time in school name calling he’s type 1 diabetic and was told maybe he would eat lots of sugar and die and did say he wished he could stab himself. He went to therapy and the school was really good they said this was unacceptable. The middle class parents horrified not heir kids being mean. I’d love to say like the film does everyone is responsible be kind it doesn’t cost anything. It’s better now but he can’t wait to finish his exams as he doesn’t want to stay at the same school. Being a kid these days I don’t envy them.
The show absolutely glamorizes suicide and here’s why:
1. It does not follow the standard guidelines for depicting suicide. Those guidelines are there for a reason. Why? To prevent copycat behavior. The guidelines were set by mental health professionals to prevent such behavior in the vulnerable
2. The entire show is based on the fact that Hannah’s suicide is almost like a revenge plot. That there is some redemption after death. 99% of the time there isn’t because you’re dead
3. Teens are vulnerable. Watching a show where Hannah gets this afterlife redemption is one issue. The other is watching graphic rape and suicide themes. To an adult it’s hard. To a vulnerable teen it’s worse
They did not do their due diligence on this one. And just because one person associated with the show finds it helpful means nothing. Because that’s ONE person with anecdotal evidence. Teachers are already saying they see copycat behaviors in their students. The adults associated with the show should have done more homework.
in the book it’s never stated clearly how hannah dies, they said it could have been pills but nobody really knows. i don’t think the show glamourises suicide personally, but i do agree that such a graphic scene was unnecessary.
Exactly by swinging the book to very graphic scenes for teens…just not well done
This is exactly my issue with the show too. They portray it like her reasons for committing suicide were valid – like if you add them up then how could you come to any other solution other than to kill yourself? I don’t want even one child to think that there is a checklist of reasons why killing yourself is ever the best solution…..
Agree I once read that one of the questions the Samaritans are trained to ask somebody who may be suicidal is “how long do you want to be dead for? “. Such a simple but powerful question.
Spoiler alert: I thought the most effective anti suicide scene in the show was actually the very last one where you see Hannah’s real friends starting to move on in their lives. The sun is out, the car is rolling and the music is playing and they are metaphorically leaving her and all the crap behind and getting on with their lives. Being the centre of attention and power, even if dead, could be alluring to some. Up until that last scene Hannah is apparently pulling all the strings. But nobody wants to be left behind by their peers and, ultimately, the reality is that the dead have to be, even if they are not forgotten.
Wow. What a powerful way to view the ending.
You are a very perceptive person.
Thank you, both, that’s kind but I wonder if the show could have made a bit more of it? It did hit quite hard that Clay was moving on with another girl but the overall scene was such a small part compared to all that went before, when Hannah was still the centre of everything.
This.
I was looking for a comment like this so I didn’t have to explain it myself. Because the show actually depicted everything that someone who’s suicidal hopes to get from it. People talk about her, feel bad for her and realise that they loved her all this time. Everyone is so disturbed by her suicide and see that it’s their fault.
And that is not how it goes in real life and showing teenagers that this will happen, is nothing but encouraging for someone who already has suicidal thoughts.
I binged watched it over the weekend and haven’t stopped thinking about it yet. This show was jarring, painful, thought provoking and heart breaking. As an adult who generally does not have suicidal thoughts, I get the point of it. We HAVE to start treating each other better. It really detailed the far reaching affects of hurtful words, bullying, keeping secrets, rape and misogyny. As an emotional teenager though.. idk how I would have reacted to this. I’m almost certain my mom wouldn’t have let me watch it.
@Almondjoy. I agree 100 people need to treat each other nicer. As a teen in MY day I wasnt that emotional very pragmatic but I don’t know today with all this social media and pressure could be a different story.
Yes! Many of us were bullied at school but may have had a safe space at home. But kids today… social media has allowed them to be bullied at all times. They LIVE for social media so cyber bullying can have devastating effects.
Hi Almond Joy, Regarding your last point, I’m sure my mom wouldn’t have let me watch it either. But enforcing that was a lot easier when there was just a TV at home that gave them access to shows. Now kids watch Netflix during study hall at school!
I haven’t finished watching it yet but I was hoping to watch it with my teen son if he wanted to watch it. He says he’s not interested…we’ll see.
I wonder what your son would think! Please give updates if he decides to watch
i think my mum would have watched it with me, as she’s done in the past (after she had researched it) when i was a teen and wanted to watch stuff of which she was unsure. i’m hoping that some teens are watching with their parents, because this is an important discussion to have.
And I think it’s definitely best if parents watch with their children and get their thoughts on it after each episode. It’s so HEAVY.
My mom definitely wouldn’t watch it as rape is way too close to home for her 😔 She doesn’t watch anything that even veers into that subject.
I did the same thing- binge watched over a few days. It has stayed with me for weeks. It’s incredibly powerful and seems like it would at least be really helpful for parents to watch. My children are still quite young but, even so, I felt like it benefited me to watch it because it reminded me how difficult the teenage years are when you going through them. I don’t think I’ll forget it.
Stay true to the book? Please. The book doesn’t depict the suicide or even say how she does it. BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TEENS TO COPY HER. Suicide prevention 101; don’t show the suicide in a gory way, and especially not in the way they did it.
EXACTLY.
I bet not a single kid will commit suicide to copy the show. I think everyone has their panties in a twist about nothing honestly.
I discussed the show with my students during my placement and they actually thought that the show – and the awful suicide scene and the focus on the parents in particular – de-glamourized her suicide. Parts of the show felt like a typical suicide fantasy, but in the end you see that there’s nothing badass about dying a lonely, slow and painful death and leaving behind people that truly care about you.
I know that’s nothing more than anecodotical evidence, but as someone who’s not thaaat much younger than the teens in the show (and who was suicidal as a teen), I got the exact same impression while watching it.
Apparently a second season is coming out. What they’ll show I have no idea seeing as how I thought they wrapped everything up.
I haven’t seen the show because it’s not my cup of tea and what I have heard about it just makes it cringy/unrealistic. That being said based on friend’s accounts and what I’ve seen online I don’t think the show achieved its target goal. Yes, everybody is talking about it and it has sparked a discussion, but it’s a superficially deep one if that makes sense to anybody. Especially among the 12-14 crowd, they definitely do not have the maturity to fully digest the issues (offering counseling services on insta pages/obsessing over how attractive the various stars are) which is where I hope parents and teachers can step in. Kids my age are eh about it. We understand the gravity of it, but something about the plot just makes it seem so unrealistic that it’s not sticking the way it should.
This was my concern as well. Is it really getting into a deep, thoughtful conversations about rape, suicide and bullying or is it more of a media discussion of how these things are portrayed and skirting around the issues and only paying lip service? I don’t know.
And with graphic depictions of rape and suicide there’s a fine line to walk between education and objectification. I don’t know if they succeeded there either.
I think it’s pretty clear that the actual conversation (at least in the media) isn’t about suicide as it is, but more likely about how to portray it.
In the show at the very beginning there are those two girls in front of Hanna’s locker taking sad selfies. i think that’s a pretty good description of most people who after the show talk about “we have to be nicer” etc.
But I think the depictions of rape weren’t objectification. They were focused on her suffering and not on the act itself.
In the end, I think, someone who already has suicidal thoughts will find about any depiction of suicide “glamorising” to be honest. i doubt that there’s an “non-threatening” way to show it
I’m a long time reader and I don’t normally comment but I feel the need to say something about this. The criticism I’m hearing and personally feeling is that they didn’t put restrictions on the show’s streaming and it was coming up in the kids section even with parental controls on. My 11 year old daughter heard about it in her class and then went on Netflix and it was the first thing that popped up and she watched the first episode. I found out because she suggested it to my nephew and my sister, an educator, texted me to let me know. My sister had already been hearing disturbing things from students about self harm (in elementary school) so she was talking to psychologists and was going to send a letter out to parents about the show. It is an important show and if you have older teenagers I think it can be valuable to watch it with them and discuss the issues, however it is not a show for tweens and younger kids but it was being marketed to them as well. Parents I know have called Netflix and they know it is an issue, that is why they changed the rating on some episodes. I do wish they did it on all of the episodes so that it was filtered out of the kids section, but they consider it YA.
There are guidelines about reporting suicides for a reason. Newspapers and tv shouldn’t mention them, because they always lead to many copycats. It’s called Werther-effect, because after reading the book a handful of young people took their lives. When people talk about Robin Williams committing suicide it leads to some depressed people being pushed over the edge. So they shouldn’t have done it. The show is even more stupid in that it glorifies what many depressed students that age feel. By taking their lives they get their ultimate revenge and once they are dead people talk about them. So yes, the show is incredibly triggering and dangerous. Whether the people involved had other intentions and only wanted to make people aware doesn’t really matter. For suicidal people every mention of a “successful” suicide is a trigger.
I understand concerns, but do we put a warning on Romeo and Juliet? How about Girl, Interrupted , The Bell Jar, Mrs. Dalloway, Me Before You?
My 16 year old daughter watched the series on Netflix and we talked about it. The director purposely chose to show the suicide in an honest manner so as not to glamorize it (no sleeping pills and fade to black). The show is uncomfortable, but it gets at issues we need to talk about.
The difference is that none of those was marketed at teenagers as an example of an ‘important’ and super relevant piece of pop culture dealing with difficult issues like bullying, mental illness, rape culture and suicide for that age group.
This show was, and deserves the heat it’s getting for ignoring the advice it didn’t like from mental health professionals.
I do not remember any of those movies showing a suicide scene anywhere near this graphic. I think it makes sense for them to show the actual wrist slitting scene, but I don’t feel that they provided a sufficient warning about just how graphic it is.
In Australia there are strict guidelines about how the media can report on suicide. I think writers of novels and tv shows should look at those guidelines. Some people, not all, but some people see ANY depiction of suicide no matter how violent and off putting the act may seem like to mostly everyone else on the planet and because of what’s going on with them that act is appealing to them. I hate this show. It feels like adults trying to be woke. Oh, let’s do something edgy and message-y for the kids. It seems more like Mini Van mums are into it, not teens.
To me the show was really interesting but completely ruined by the tapes premise.
Instead of focusing on Hannah’s mental health issues and increasing fragility it was all about who was next on the tapes and what had they done that was so bad it ‘made Hannah kill herself’.
That brought about the argument of ‘did they deserve to be on the tapes’ (IMO the cheerleader who ran the stop sign didnt. She was helping Hannah out and made a mistake- as it happened with the worst possible outcome but there wasn’t anything malicious about her actions at all).
Basically the only realistic part was the parents. The mother’s agony was jarring but sadly I think teenagers would probably find that part the least affecting of the show.
In a bizarre way I think the suicide scene was etremely necessary. As someone said above it brought back the stark reality of suicide (the parents’ reaction was so awful to watch).
There wasn’t any more bullshit just the horrible reality of a very painful death.
Stigma.
Not talking about suicide is not doing anyone any good. Its needs to talked about and when someone dose die from a mental illness it needs to be talked about. This show has brought suicide in to a conversation and talked about in a real way. the fact that people feel more comfortable talking about suicide bombers then people who actually went through the hell of depression, well its really sad. depression and suicide are not going to be going anywhere soon there no search for “cure” so its something we as society need to get better talking about, then maybe one day the % of people dying from mental illness will go down.
I found the book in a beach house we rented during a vacation and read it and well, is not very good but maybe because I was 27 and not 12 at the time I read it. I never would have imagined that it had the potential for a movie or a sitcom, the writing was very basic.
Instead of adding warnings, why not make them see “Heathers” as well?
I felt suicidal in high school myself, but I never seriously thought I’d do it because of an old Matt Groening “Life is Hell” comic that told kids not to kill themselves because people would make jokes about them and didn’t really care all that much anyway.
High schoolers watching it is one thing, but middle schoolers? Tweens are significantly less developed emotionally than teens. I was very bummed to see my 6th grader 11yo son’s middle school issue an alert. (6th graders, for crying out loud, should not even be at middle school.) He said he has 6th grade friends who have watched it. Ugh!!!
I binge watched this show last weekend. On a superficial level, the production & acting on this show were top notch. While I did feel that a few episodes tended to “glamorize” or make light of the end result of suicide, the last episode made up for those others. The depiction of the actual suicide was so graphic & disturbing, it was very hard for me to watch. But I think it was necessary because suicide is disturbing & ugly. It’s permanent.
All that being said, I don’t know how a teen would perceive it. They tend to glamorize things anyway, so I’m not sure I would want my kids (if I had any) to watch it. I will say this show was definitely thought provoking.
the show totally glamourizes suicide in that it basically says “hey do this and then make some revenge tapes and scare this shit out of people” this show needs those warnings because it’s only a matter of time before some kid makes 13 tapes what happens when a kid makes 30.
Thats not what the show does at all. It makes a point to show how flawed Hannahs reasoning was, and that she was so deep in depression that she wasnt thinking clearly, seeing things that werent there.
The void she left when she took that decision, its not pretty to look at, she doesnt look at peace once she finally slits her arms. Her parents reaction is heartbreaking, and I think this was one one of show messages, she was so focused on herself that she didnt stop to think what her actions would do to those who loved her.
I do realize that perhaps teenagers might not look more into it, but I really think it doesnt glamorizes suicide at all.
I certainly think the show’s producers were horribly irresponsible re: suicide and mental health issues, but I’m not the target audience.
The actors who play Hannah and Clay are phenomenal
My almost 16 yr old daughter told me she is not interested in watching, as she feels it glamorizes suicide. We find other ways to discuss mental health that do not involve netflix shows.
We have discussed Wentworth Miller, who discusses the topic with respect and wisdom and kindness. His FB page, though not as active as it once was, is a place full of information about mental health issues, websites chosen with care and the knowledge that information reaches people in different ways.
I don’t know who this show is for and if it helps anybody but I am suicidal (it’s controlled and not new and I’m safe, no worries) and there’s no way I’d watch this
I watched it after my 17 y/o and her friends were talking about it. It brought back memories from my high school years in that I wasn’t bullied or attacked, but those notes that get passed around, or writings on walls can have some affect on a person. Watching that last episode was very uncomfortable for me, as a person as well as a mother. My daughter and I have talked about this show and the things that happened to Hannah and although it was not an easy topic to discuss, I’m glad we had it. Some people are going to think this show was helpful, and some won’t. Different strokes y’all.
I don’t think the show is capable of *not* glamorizing suicide, seeing as the basis of it is Hannah’s message being heard quite literally. While as an adult now I struggle with my depression very silently and no longer talk about it it was very different as a teen, as a teen I desperately wanted my message to be heard and understood.
I think the show is a fantasized version of suicide for teens/young adults, the idea that suicide creates some kind of neat ending or understanding; when the reality is you’re just dead, the only people who are hurt are the ones who cared in the first place and the people who didn’t care still don’t. Sorry but I realised two seconds into this show that it’s a sappy suicide grief p0rn0.
I haven’t watched the show, but having known people who took their own lives, I’d be very concerned at any suggestion that suicide was somehow a logical or inevitable consequence of things that happened to a person. People with depression and suicidal thoughts can have a fatalistic way of looking at the world, and need to be encouraged to think about other ways things could turn out. It sounds like this show promotes exactly the wrong message.
“I’d be very concerned at any suggestion that suicide was somehow a logical or inevitable consequence of things that happened to a person”
Yes yes yes!! When my daughter recapped the show for me her perspective was that Hannah was fated to kill herself because of all the bad things that happened to her. When I made the point that nothing that happens to you should result in your believing killing yourself was the appropriate response she said I didn’t “understand”, that Hannah had no choice. That is what I feel was lost in the show – that Hannah did in fact have other choices….
That’s a very valid point. I read the book a few years ago and only recently watched the show and first I wasn’t sure, because it was so long ago that I read the actual story, but I looked it up and here is the thing: the show is actually really really close to the book, but one fact they changed. The next-to-last reason Hanna kills herself is that Bryce rapes her. In the show it’s an obvious rape. She’s alone, he holds her hands. In the book however, she goes to Bryce, kind od wanting to sleep with him, so she has another reason to kill herself. She did it to push her over the edge.
So why does the show change that? Because by having Hanna raped, almost everyone will agree that that’s a legit reason for a person to commit suicide.
They completely leave out that she actually didn’t fully want to die and desperately looked for something to make her decide.
The show focuses on the point that if a certain thing or a certain amount of things happen to you, your only option is to commit suicide, that it’s a logical suicide. And to bring that point across they actually changed that scene.
Obviously the scene in the book could also be called rape. And one might argue that source material is changed all the time. But (at least for me) that wasn’t an unimportant scene. It was one of the most complex, disturbing and confusing moments of the book.
She goes to Bryce and somehow wants to sleep with him to make her feel so bad that she has “the power” to kill herself, but at the same time she doesn’t want to have sex with him at all.
I’m sorry, I hope I could explain it somehow understandable…
Teens that are vulnerable enough to commit suicide over a tv show, would probably find a reason anyway. Parents and schools already neglect to acknowledge clear signs and now they’re using this show as a scapegoat. This topic is too important to treat with “kid gloves”. As a teen, I would’ve been grateful for a portrayal like this.
“beautifully tragic, complicated yet suspenseful story” I don’t think those are the words you should use when trying to defend your show from the accusation that it’s glamourising suicide…
I started watching this series with my husband but stopped pretty quickly because it felt too uncomfortable to watch and I’m going through a tough time myself right now and am too emotionally raw myself. But after reading this, I think I’ll have to go back and watch it at some point because I have kids and want to understand what they might face.
First, that header pic, where the lead actress chick is making that “open, receptive” pouty-mouth face. I haaaate that face-pose, it’s so vulgar and dumb-looking and looks incredibly like the way the mouths of blow-up dolls are formed: to receive a dick. sorry, just putting it out there: drives me crazy bc it’s so unsubtle and tacky and vacuous-looking. rargh.
Also, yeah, god am I glad i wasn’t in middle school or high school or hell, even college, with stuff like social media/ selfies/ cyberbullying/ teenage drama shows w graphic depictions of suicide (!!!) cuz fragile, depressed, younger-me just might not have made it.