SPOILERS for Game of Thrones Episode 7.2, “Stormborn.”

I realize that I’m not a professional showrunners or TV writer, but how the hell did Bran Stark arrive at The Wall in the last episode and no one at the Night’s Watch informed Winterfell of that fact through the course of the next week or whatever? I was really hoping for a reunion of Bran and Jon Snow this week, but I guess the showrunners wanted to screw us over yet again. And again and again, because this week’s episode was a doozy. Here are some of highlights.

Cersei demands loyalty. I hate Cersei’s face at this point. She’s out here Fake-Newsing the few loyal lords she has left, which include Sam Tarly’s dad. Lord Tarly doesn’t mention that Sam scampered off into the night with a wildling and a Valyrian steel sword.

Ladies Night at Dragonstone. Daenerys is plotting in The Plotting Room of Dragonstone, telling Ellaria Sand, Yaya Greyjoy, Olenna Tyrell, Varys and Tyrion about her plans to take Kings Landing. It’s clear that this is mostly Tyrion’s plan. It’s also clear that Dany is the kind of leader who respects having strong female voices at the table. Two things happened here: one, Oleanna told Dany “don’t be a sheep, be a dragon,” and Varys is The Whisperer Of The People. It’s fine.

Melisandre comes calling. Melisandre comes to Dragonstone to lay down some facts: Dany is really important and so is Jon Snow. Missandei is also a translation nerd who corrects her queen: “The Prince That Was Promised” is actually gender neutral. Jon Snow could be the prince that was promised or it could be Dany.

Grey Worm gets it done. Grey Worm has been ordered to invade Casterly Rock with the Unsullied, but he has one last night in Dragonstone and Missandei comes to his room and was like “Bruh, were you even going to say goodbye?” I actually loved this scene because these two actors usually don’t get to just be together, on their own, and they played it so gently. Long story short, they love each other and even though Grey Worm is Unsullied, he will still go downtown to make his lady happy.

Jon Snow & Sansa. Jon manages to receive a raven from the Citadel and from Dragonstone, yet nothing from the Night’s Watch about Bran, huh?? Anyway, Jon decides that he needs to go to Dragonstone to meet Dany, on Tyrion’s invitation. Weirdly, Sansa and Jon sort of agree that Tyrion isn’t that bad, although Sansa worries it could still be a classic Targaryen Trap, like that time the Mad King murdered their uncle and started Robert’s Rebellion. None of the Northern lords think it’s a good idea, but Jon is insistent and he tells them that he’s leaving Sansa in charge, which shuts her up pretty quickly. Also: Davos has become pretty important to the Starks very quickly, right?

Jorah and Sam. I hate all of the Citadel storylines so far, you guys. Jorah has greyscale all over and Sam thinks he knows how to make it better. Sam starts carving the greyscale off of Jorah. It was disgusting.

Screw you, Nymeria. Arya ate at the only Westeros diner in a 300-mile radius, which happened to be the diner which employs Hot Pie. Hot Pie and Arya were friends, then Hot Pie played a part in setting Brienne on her course, and now Hot Pie just turns up every now and then to talk about browning the butter and Winterfell, of course. Hot Pie is the key to all of this! Anyway, Hot Pie told Arya that Jon Snow had taken command of Winterfell, which was brand new information to her, and so she decides to ditch her plans to ride to Kings Landing to kill Cersei, opting instead to ride north. She stops to make a fire and eat something and her horse starts freaking out. Suddenly, there are regular wolves all around her. Then Nymeria, her old direwolf, comes over. Arya is like “OMG Nymeria, come with me!!” And Nymeria is like “Thanks but no thanks, chica.” Nymeria runs off with her wolf pack but Arya is happy she saw her.

Jon Snow and Littlefinger. Jon and Littlefinger are in the crypt and Littlefinger is like “I always tried to bang your stepmom and now I’m trying to bang your sister” and Jon’s like “I WILL KILL YOU” and then it was over. I have the feeling that Littlefinger was working his way up to telling Jon some information about his family past but Jon reacted like a Stark and so Littlefinger was like “whatever.”

Screw you, Theon Greyjoy. Yara, Theon, Ellaria Sand, the Sand Snakes and their fleet have set sail for Kings Landing. They are stopped by Greyjoy pirates, because of course. Yara and Ellaria were just about to get busy too! Anyway, I don’t need to get into all the gritty details. Yara ended up hanged off the bow of her boat (right?), a few of Sand Snakes died, but I think one was taken prisoner, along with Ellaria. Ellaria and the one living Sand Snake will be Euron Greyjoy’s “gifts” for Cersei. The plot to send Dornish and Greyjoy-remnant boats to blockade Kings Landing is dead. As for Theon… Euron tried to get him to save Yara, and Theon literally jumped ship rather than try to save his sister. Meh. I’m sorry to see Yara go, but I’m happy that the Dornish plot seems to be wrapping up in a hurry. Update: as many of you pointed out, we don’t know for sure that it’s Yara who is dead, we just know for sure that at least one of Sand Snakes is dead. Yara may be one of Euron’s “gifts” for Cersei. Good point.

In next week’s episode, I think Jon is already at Dragonstone, so we likely won’t get a reunion between Jon and Bran or Jon and Arya. Ugh.

Photos courtesy of HBO/Game of Thrones.