Late last week, social media blew up with the story of Robbie Tripp and his confession about loving his “curvy wife.” Robbie Tripp is basically some guy (a dude, a bro, what have you) who got internet-famous because he posted the above Instagram with this self-congratulatory message:
I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as “chubby” or even “fat.” Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (thin, tall, lean) I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll, etc. Her shape and size won’t be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it’s the one featured in my life and in my heart. There’s nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident; this gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the most beautiful one in the room. Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty. Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah.
[From Robbie Tripp’s Instagram]
To be clear, Robbie Tripp thinks he deserves a Feminism Award for getting hard for his average-sized wife. I looked through his Instagram – his wife, Sarah, is maybe a size 14 or 16, which is the same size as the average American woman. He thinks he’s an everyday hero for getting off on the woman he married despite the fact that she’s not a supermodel. Obviously, people had a lot of thoughts. There’s a veritable cornucopia of thinkpieces, memes, long-reads, tweets and feminist screeds about why this is guy is kind of douche. As with so many people who become internet-famous, Robbie Tripp ended up giving an interview about what has happened in the past week:
First Robbie Tripp’s post about his “curvy” wife Sarah filled with comments applauding him for sharing his love. But then the tide turned, and others said he was just looking for attention — and actually body shaming her by pointing out her shape. Now Tripp is speaking out about the negativity, saying that it’s a stretch to see his post as self-serving.
“Anybody searching for any sort of negativity in that post — you’ve got to really try and twist the purpose and intent and what I’m saying to even conjure up anything negative from that,” Tripp tells PEOPLE Now. “Because at the end of the day, if you’re hating on that post, you’re hating on a guy loving his wife. You’re hating on a guy celebrating his beautiful wife who he’s attracted to.”
“The fact that people have thought that for some reason I wrote that post thinking or knowing that it would go viral to pat myself on the back on a public platform — I had no way of knowing that it would go viral and I only wrote it because I love my wife,” Tripp says. “So I think the negativity is a little silly.”
And Sarah says that Robbie wasn’t fetishizing her body.
“I think ‘fetish’ is definitely reaching,” she says. “I’ve never once thought of how Robbie thinks of me as a fetish; he celebrates my curves. He supports me, he supports other women. If you scroll back, he talks about just loving girl power and seeing all these amazing women who are doing so much in the world and so much good. So I just don’t buy into it at all.”
I don’t blame Sarah – I mean, if it was me, I would be horrified but I would probably also defend loving my doofus husband. I would be asking for another Feminism Award because I have to live with his nonsense. But let’s be clear: by hating on Robbie Tripp, we’re NOT “hating on a guy loving his wife.” We’re hating on a guy who fetishes his wife’s normal body and wants a Feminism Award for doing so.
Photos courtesy of Instagram.
You don’t get an award for “daring” to love another person. like dang.
Also let’s talk about you and your wife’s racist and homophobic tweets…
The thing is, that he actually does “dare” to be with her. Most guys my age that I know, 19 out of 20, would not be caught dead with a young woman who weighs as much as her.
She’s still a person that doesn’t get a feninist award for that. It doesn’t fix anything on the platform. He just happened to love someone with curves. People do that every day
@Nicole, my experience as a chubby gal with a pretty face is that it is pretty much impossible to find a boyfriend who would actually go out with me in public and be proud of having me as their girlfriend. Where I live, people do NOT do this every day.
Men gawk at me and love to talk to me and hang out with me in private. But they will NOT be caught dead with me as their “main chick”
@KLO, it sounds like you have a lot of jerks around you? Not defending this guy AT ALL – just trying to give you some hugs for having to be around such idiots.
@KLO then you should come to NY. There are plenty men of all ages with women her size.
I don’t think this man deserves an award for pointing out that his wife is curvy. If a man was saying I love my skinny wife he would be ripped apart and rightfully so just like this dude deserves to be.
Klo I feel you. But that’s on the people around you. Believe me where I live you see couples of all shapes and sizes. No one blinks at it.
Thanks for the love, @Nicole, V4real, Tata. “air kisses”
I am a bit annoyed by the number of people who are discounting @KLO’s point in the rush to be yet another person to condemn this guy. If KLO says she identifies with him or his wife, it’s really not up to any of us to tell her that her experience isn’t happening.
As it is, I will defend this guy. Is his message imperfect? Sure. Does he come off sounding self-satisfied? Sure. But is his message worth listening to? Also sure. It may not resonate so much with women as it does men but I think it is a good thing for a guy to say that he is attracted to a woman who is larger than what the media considers average.
Suits bot brave. Unless his greatest fear is having school used jokes dropped on how he likes the average sized American woman. Bravery implies courage in the challenging situation. If this is brave to him that says more about his mental age and priorities than love.
KLO, my auntie is an overweight woman but not morbidly obese. She is having a hard time gettng dates BUT she will never ever date a chubby chaser. She’d rather be single than be with a fetishist.
You need to meet different guys (unless you’re like 18-21).
Girl. I’m anywhere from a size 10-14 depending on the style/brand. My husband tells me how beautiful he thinks I am all the time. Whenever I do something different with my hair/makeup he will make a point to let me know he noticed. I don’t even consider myself to be one of those ‘bigger girls with a beautiful face’ – I think I’m pretty average looking most of the time. I’m definitely not as pretty as the woman on the instagram post, but he’s always been complimentary and sweet – he treats me the same way he did when I was a size 6-8. Honestly, I think I hear more compliments now than I did when I was smaller because I’ve figured out how to play up my shape more and I’m more confident than when I was younger. Whenever we get dressed up and go out I’ll get a sneak attack butt grab when nobody is looking. I’m relatively self conscious – but he’s always made me feel adored and desired.
The good ones are out there. They may not be the loud majority, but when you’re not surrounded by asshats, there are a lot of great guys out there- they might be more shy, or maybe they’re not into the same scene as some of those douche-bros. But they’re out there. My guy isn’t in some high powered office job where he wears a suit and has to bullshit his way through life. He’s a plumber- he’s coming home dirty and rather disgusting at times, but he works his ass off and makes a surprisingly great living for our area. And holy the arm muscles he’s built up from working with his hands all day! So not only is he one of the ‘good ones’ personality wise – I think he’s kind of a hottie. I think it just largely depends on the kind of people you’re ‘forced’ to spend time with – if you’re in a position where you’re dealing with a lot of cocky, douchey guys, it seems a lot more bleak. I’ve been lucky enough to have spent a good chunk of my life with this guy – and as much as his friends annoy me at time – they’re also genuinely nice guys who have had girlfriends of all shapes and sizes.
We aren’t trying to discount her point. We are trying to say that there are people out there who will love her for her personality, her looks and everything inbetween. A few jerks are just that. Some places are just more accepting of all walks of life, shapes and colors than others
What we are saying is we aren’t giving cookies because a guy loves his wife that happens to be outside the “beauty standard” of a size 2. It would be like giving cookies to a white guy for dating and marrying a black woman. That doesn’t make you woke it means you love someone that happens to be black.
Where the hell do you live that there aren’t men who would date Tripp’s wife? This woman isn’t even morbidly obese. She is chubby, and she has an attractive shape and face. Thin women have the advantage in today’s dating world for sure, but there are men out there who like curvy women and women with larger breasts and a butt.
Sweetheart,
Come live in Israel. In this country, this woman is sexy.
Couldn’t have said it better, Kaiser.
uh no. people are hating on you because you’re congratulating yourself for deigning to love a normal attractive woman.
Yes, exactly. And I’d say if it isn’t a fetish, he’s sure making it look like one. His t-shirt?!
Exactly. If his shirt said “I love my wife” no one would bat an eye. He’s fetishized her body, and it’s sad neither of them can recognize that.
I think this is the main reason he’s getting dragged. His entire post is about his fetishistic obsession with her body, not about his profound love for her as a whole person beyond her physical attractiveness. If they mutually get off on this, cool, enjoy your kink, kids; but don’t pretend you’re a feminist hero because you get a boner for a certain physical type of woman. Also, how pathetic that supermodels and porn stars are not “real” women. They’re hardly a slighted demographic, but it shows how much emphasis this guy places on appearance as the arbiter of whether a woman is “real” (ie good) or “fake” (ie bad) and how much he sees himself as superior simply for having an aesthetic preference.
Exactly!
I didn’t like him acting like she’s his fetish dream, and I also didn’t like that he cast shade against porn stars and models – or whomever the second mentioned was – because they are women, too.
YES to both of you. That IG write-up was uncomfortably out-of-touch. Also, their IGs are really effin weird. It’s like they’re trying to brand their relationship. Gross.
Honestly, from the outside looking in the whole relationship feels really inauthentic, insincere, and a whole lot of posturing. I’m not sure why but nothing about this relationship seems healthy or organic.
IMO they ARE trying to brand their relationship.
So this post is actually a success for him/them. Methinks this is exactly what they aim for.
Bingo
When I saw this photo I immediately told my husband he looks like he’s wearing a little girls sleep outfit. I can’t get past how much that perfectly matched tank and shorts look like stuff I was wearing to bed as a child in the 90s.
If he had just written something to the tune of “look at this gorgeous woman – I am so lucky to have such a stunning, sexy, confident woman in my life. She’s truly beautiful inside and out” NOBODY would have come at him. But that writeup was PAINFUL and so awkward.
Maybe he’s hit some personal growth recently and does have great intentions – but my god, this came off so terribly. And I’m sorry – I’m not about to congratulate you for having the ‘guts’ to love that woman. That woman is SO pretty. The way he wrote it kind of puts her down as if she’s some sort of creature that followed him home. I mean – it’s nice that he’s attracted to the woman he’s with but it’s hardly worth praise.
Nail meet head. Ugh so over this guy and his wife. Last time I’m giving them attention.
Nodding my head while trying to drink my coffee is tough so I’ll type “yes”
Kitten and SlowSnow, YES.
They ARE trying to brand their relationship. They’re trying to get Instagram-famous and get all types of sponsorship deals by gaining a bunch of followers. They probably understand that self-love and self-acceptance usually get a lot of attention, because they inspire people. But… only when it’s authentic. Problem is, when you try to cash in on something genuine and real, yet you yourself are just a fake, fetishizing asshole, it’s obvious. See above Instagram caption.
Great observation, Kitten. They are trying to brand! I couldn’t put my finger on what was off, but you’re clearly right.
Exactly, it’s like he’s angling for some kind of gold medal because – to paraphrase – “I married a woman who isn’t a size 00 and love her anyway and yay for me!” Ugh.
Also, someone on another site pointed out that it’s really sad that he never actually uses her name until the very end of the post, and even then calls her “my Sarah.”
Exactly. The entire thing is summed up by “Despite all this I love you anyway.” Because if she was a size 2, there’d be no “anyway.”
Woman have been loving men who get “dad bod” or “middle age man gut” forever and we never get accolades. My husband has a bit of a belly, but I love him anyway. Where is my damn trophy?
She should get a tee that says ‘I love dumb men”.
She doesnt need it. Being with him says it all hah.
Lolz
Size 14 or 16 is average?
I am that size and I am 60 pounds overweight. Definitely not.
Yeah, that got me also. Sure its not good nor is it healthy what the media is doing with the skinny women- models, but come on, that is not average either.
Height is a factor. BMI is a factor. Calling a single number is correct. Using that single number in context of those other variables is not.
“Average” and “overweight” are not mutually exclusive. Average is a statistical commentary. 14/16 is average last time I checked. That means that the average American woman is over what has been deemed a healthy, ideal weight by whoever gets to make that decision.
I thought I read 12/14 is average. I have known 5’10 women who looked skeletal at size 12, so it really depends on height, bone structure, if you have hips, etc. My SE Asian relatives would swim in a size twelve, while my friend from the Netherlands and another from Italy looks great in a size 14.
I dont think its a good practice to advertise the “average size”. Women with a height difference of 1 foot who are both size 14 are going to have a completely different BMI.
BMI does not cut it too when muscle and fat percentage comes into play.
True, shorter women a size 6 will look thicker than someone that is much taller. Size is relative to height and body structure.
Average size is just a statistical value obtained by the sum of all the values in a population divided by the number of values. Therefore the average american woman is generally considered overweight by classic medical definitions of “healthy weight”.
The average size does not have anything to do with what the majority of people (or doctors, or fashion magazines, what have you) will consider “healthy”, “normal” or “ideal” size. Note that all these definitions are in quotation marks because these is an infinite discussion behind these terms and their applicability.
About 70% of Americans are overweight or obese, so yes, size 14 to 16 is average these days
That statistic is staggering to me. Even when I was what my doctor considered to be overweight a decade ago, I was nowhere near that size. These people are both fetishizing her body and I’m sorry but yeah, when people are overweight to the point it puts them at substantially higher risk for a litany of health issues, that needs to be addressed not celebrated.
I’m Greek and supposedly we are curvy but I think this lady is at least 10kg overweight. You guys in the US have very different perceptions of what is normal weight. No judgment on this beautiful woman of course but I keep wondering if all this #bodypositive movement is glorifying obesity.
Nagia, it definitely is, unfortunately. I understand the idea, but instead of promoting people being the healthiest for their body, it seems more like love yourself even if it isn’t healthy for you and you’re damaging your body!
@ Nagia, This woman may be over weight in your perception (I don’t think so) but please note the #bodypositive moment is not glorifying obesity, it simply affirms that overweight people (and those who don’t fit the norm which let’s be real a size ‘0’ at any height/or body shape) have the right to be here without being shamed for their existence. (All the shaming has no effect on their weight loss if you’ve noticed) They are allowed to be here without apology to anyone. This is because people judge you everywhere-at the gym(they’re mean), yoga(they gawk), people (sometimes complete strangers) tell you what they think you should eat. Pretty hard to take care of your body in that environment wouldn’t you say?
As for this guy, someone please go to Staples and buy the medal he clearly thinks he deserves. I would be tempted to give it to his wife tho for all she must put up with with this douchecanoe. I don’t think he means to be this annoying, he’s just so extra.
This. I completely agree with you Nagia.
I don’t really have a dog in the race when it comes to the body positivity movement, but I can’t help but think some aspects of it (particularly the any size is a good size crowd) will fizzle out fast once the long-term health effects start to show up/make themselves known. That imo, will be the true test of this movement and determine whether or not it’s for superficial or legit reasons.
i also dont have a dog in this race but I do know that Body Positivity is at it’s core the simple belief that anyone, at any size deserves to be treated with respect and love. Which is important to remember when the inevitable “but its glorifying obesity!!” folks come out to play..no it’s not. It’s saying that even obese people are humans who deserve to not be treated like shit. I’ll leave it at that.
Jesus Christ, as a fat girl, I can assure you that very few people glorify obesity. Body positivity isn’t about encouraging people to be obese. It’s just about not actively hating yourself because of how you look, which, frankly, shouldn’t be a controversial position to take.
It’s not glorifying obesity. It’s just saying that fat people should be treated as actual people for once, and not as monsters, which is the usual MO of society.
Every time body positivity comes up, the concern trolls come out of the woodwork, beating their breasts about glorifying obesity! NOPE! It’s about loving yourself at any size, and hopefully changing societal norms that de-humanize, blame, and shame us for not meeting the ideal. BTW, once I became involved in the movement and started loving my body as is, I started eating more healthily, have lost weight, taken up belly dancing, and learned to tailor my clothes to flatter my body better! Change comes from self love, not self hate!
I wonder if there may be some confusion around US v UK/AUS/NZ sizes in this thread. Popular narrative in UK/AUS/NZ (rightly or wrongly, I make no comment) is that size 14-16 is “normal”. That is a 10-12 in US sizing.
The majority of Americans (and probably a growing number of women in Europe and the Middle East) are overweight. I would not say that size 14 is anywhere near morbidly obese, but it isn’t thin, not that everyone needs to look like Kate Middleton. I have taller friends who are a size 12 and look very thin, so a size 14 is not considered that big to me. For a petite woman that means you’re curvy and a bit on the chunky side, but not morbidly obese. Nor do I think anywhere between size 10-14 is that unhealthy for most women. It means you probably don’t starve yourself but should cut down a bit on the indulgences. There is nothing wrong with being a normal person who enjoys food as long as you are getting daily exercise and eat in moderation. When I eat healthy and exercise, I am a size 10-12. When I indulge and stop exercising I wear around a size 14. I will never be a size 8 again (the size I was in high school) unless I starve myself.
Saw this earlier and I couldn’t help but think he would trade her in for a tall, skinny blonde if he could. Why? He doesn’t love her despite her size, he wants a reward because he’s with a size 14.
This exactly
The wording is so self congratulatory.
Offcourse I find it great when average men go past the superficiality of a thin body and looks into the person as a whole. somehow the attitude of this guy turns me off.
Really? He’s not as attractive as he clearly thinks he is, and in that original pic they looked about the same BMI. Maybe he was once but honestly I think his wife is better looking than he is.
That’s the irony. I too agree that she is much better looking than him. Men love to rate women out of 10, I give him a 3-4.
That’s the problem everywhere. As a slightly chubby girl, I was more lectures by chubby/ unhealthy average guys than sya the fit good looking Guy.
Those who are more insecure and secretly hate themselves are the ones that babble most
Tan: that is so true. When I was young and a very normal (Swedish) size 40 (don’t know what that is in American sizes I’m afraid) I’d get lectures from extremely average-looking dudes about how I should work out to get a sixpack-belly. Alas I loved my body then, as I do know after a handful of kids and wearing a size 46 instead, and never wanted to get rid of the soft roundedness of my lower belly. I thought it very feminine and a sign I had what it takes to get pregnant and be able to feed a growing baby. 🙂
My point is, don’t listen to those bros trying to put their own insecurities on other people. Just love your own amazing body in whatever incarnation it currently is.
THIS GUY.
I scrolled through his Instagram and saw that he attributed the”Create your dreams” quote to himself, then put it on a board, hung it in his house and then shared it publicly.
Lol. Is that even a quote? Sounds more like a vague platitude.
I can’t handle the Instagram font* banal platitudes. They are really the worst. Autocorrect is being annoying af today.
For some reason this reminds me of the funeral scene in Heathers. “I love my dear gay son!”
Props for the Heathers reference, but the movie geek in me feels the compulsive need to correct your quote. It’s “I love my *dead* gay son!” Sorry. Carry on. 😉
Oh god I just made the worst typo ever! I knew it was dead, not dear. This is what I get for commenting without coffee! 😕
Brilliant reference. This guy makes me thankful for my devoted, extremely laid back, non-extra, quiet husband of 35 years. I have been plump for a number of those years.
YES!!!!!
haha 😀
His post just sounded like negging to me
It absolutely is. He’s pointing out so many negative things about her:
“fills out every inch of her jeans and is STILL the most beautiful” emphasis on still on my part, to point out he looks at her “filling her jeans” as a negative. The “rolls” and “dimples”.
Talking about how she’d never be on the cover of a magazine, but HE loves her anyway.
His friends would never date her, but HE would.
He’s beating her down to make himself seem like a hero. It’s possible he doesn’t realize he’s doing it, but he’s still doing it, and it’s not fair to her.
This is it exactly. My favorite thread about it pointed out that he’s setting up a power dynamic where he’s basically telling her that she should be grateful that he likes her even though she’s curvy. It’s twisted.
Yes, exactly!
Perfectly said!
Sarah, god love ya, your husband is an a$$hole.
Hahaha. True!
eww – I hate guys who want cookies for being basic, like congrats you find the woman you chose to marry attractive? He wants us to be impressed by how deep he is because she isn’t stick-thin? or is he just mainsplaining body positivity? either way, Yikes!
if my husband was being this much of a self-congratulatory (at my expense!) douche I would be so pissed…..
She is overweight. 20 years ago she would definitely have been classified as overweight. I realize that being overweight is “having the normal body” these days.
i was about the same weight in high school and was bullied and ostracized every day because of it. The bullying was an awful thing to do but I definitely was overweight, I have never even tried to deny that.
I think he was being very honest and very sweet. He clearly sees that she is not super fit or at her objective ideal healthy weight, but still loves her. Good for them both.
I am not sure if it is good to advertize being about 30 pounds overweight as the “new normal”. It will skew everything once again.
Why not just realize that people should choose themselves how much they weigh and stop bullying those who are thinner or heavier than some other person thinks they should be.
On the surface it seems sweet. But it is problematic. And since both have since been revealed to be terrible people, people should stop giving them attention.
Honestly, it sounds like you’re upset because the body you were criticized for having 20 years ago is now the new “normal” and is therefore being praised. I can totally understand why you feel that way, and I’m sorry. It has to be hurtful to see.
At the same time, I don’t think it’s fair to deny other women the right to love themselves as they are, at the weight they are. That’s all true body positivity is about.
This says nothing on my opinion of this guy, because I think he’s gross af.
He is negging her. He doesn’t deserve a prize for loving his wife if she isn’t super model size. In fact his comments show he isn’t cool with her extra weight but pretends he is a hero for still “loving” her. No guy who actually loves his spouse posts crap like that on social media.
And how do you know what her “objective ideal healthy weight” is? Are you her physician?
@Anon33 Lets not deny the obvious, shall we?
@Shambles I really can not help what you read into my comment. So, whatever you say.
Is this dweeb gonna love his wife after she has a couple of kids? I predict she will be size 20++ after 1 child, and exhausted.
so when will she publish a beautiful text about how she loves this average looking bro with a douche face? Bros also deserve to be loved.
Yeah I’m waiting…
Exactly. Hey… Equality and all that.
The douche face is so real with this one.
I get the vibe that he likes being the “more attractive” partner in a relationship, like he enjoys that sense of perceived power. At the same time, he wants the attention/adoration that comes with being the “sensitive man” who loves his wife despite… His wife. Also, he’s sort of mad that all the wimmens are getting all the attention from the body positive movement, and he wants some.
Overall, seems like a manipulative piece of work, and that’s just from scrolling through his Instagram feed for a few minutes
Let’s have a countdown. That face is in need of a punch.
He is basically saying he deserves some woke award for loving his wife DESPITE her flaws.
Imagine if a woman wrote this about her husband…”Ladies, I started educating myself on the ridiculous body expectations society has over men and learnt that I don’t need to be married to a guy with a rock-hard abs to be happy and in love! My husband has a super hairy Neanderthal back, a concave chest, and I love nothing better than running my hands up and down his twiggy little legs. He is completely unattractive and won’t ever be on the cover of Men’s Health, but despite all of his physical flaws I love him anyway and deserve an internet award for my high level of wokeness.”
Well yeah…………this was too funny, thanks Emma33! 😛
Ha, exactly.
LOL very good.
I have seen older women comment on their spouses like this in private. It is funny but kinda abusive. Their spouses generally would not dare make a negative comment about the wives appearance.
KLO so you think it’s abusive when women do it in private but you’ve repeatedly defended this douchebag for doing it extremely publicly?
“I love this man and his tiny penis. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to men with miniscule d*cks, ones with balls the size of raisins, men that the average (basic) chick might refer to as ‘pinky d*ck’ or even ‘d*ckless.’ Then, as I became a woman and started to educate myself on issues such as d*ck size and how the media marginalizes men by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of d*ck size (huge gigantic weiner) I realized how many women have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this man right here: tiny, almost invisible penis, balls the size of rabbit turds, etc. His d*ck size won’t be the one featured on the cover of a porno mag but it’s the one featured in my life and in my heart. There’s nothing sexier to me than a man who is both tiny in the pants and confident; this gorgeous man I married doesn’t fill out even an inch of his jeans and is still the most handsome one in the room. Women, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real man is not a porn star or a movie character. He’s real. He has beautiful stretch marks on his tiny d*ck and cute little dimples on his tiny little balls. Men, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a woman out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are.”
But seriously can you imagine?
You owe me a new keyboard @Kitten
Hahaha!!
Lmao
Oh my god I just snorted out my coffee through my nose.
OMG KITTEN!!! Someone give her all the internet awards.
Oh my gosh, kitten!!! I don’t have any feelings about this guy one way of another …. But I thoroughly enjoyed what you wrote!!!
Hahahahahahaha. It’s been two minutes and I’m still laughing. Thanks for the ab work out Kitten.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kitten, here’s your “woke” medal 🥇
OMG, Kitten, you slay me – my cackle can be heard throughout the hood. Gonna pass this one on to friends, it is too good.
This made me laugh so HARD! Especially the part about balls being the size of rabbit turds. Seriously though, this is why I hate his post and anything related to placing high regard on a woman’s physical appearance, because we don’t do this on the same level to men and if we did, well… your post sums it up.
Brilliant, Kitten. Seriously this guy is the worst. If they get some sort of sponsorship for this nonsense on IG…who am I kidding? Of course they will.
OMG. Kitten, you or someone needs to post this on his IG. LMAO. Maybe then he (and everyone else giving him kudos over his negging) will get the point.
I came back to read this hours later and it still made me laugh SOOOO hard. I almost posted it to his IG, but didn’t want to get attacked.
Tiny men are very insecure & controlling. Never again.
*mic drop* lol!!!! Best comment
@Kitten and Emma, I posted a comment in similar fashion since I was so inspired by your posts. I posted it to his IG and he deleted it within an hour…apparently it doesn’t have the same heartwarming effect when you reverse genders.
Love it, emma33.
Perfect.
Peak wokeness😂😂
Lol I would love that. lol
Well said Emma!
What a twat he is. It’s nothing about his wife – it’s all about how wonderful he is and how much attention he can get.
There was a comment on Jezebel – criticising his dodgy fashion sense in that beach pic – and said something in the region of ‘he has that basic and outdated half-Mohawk haircut that all South American footballers have before they get a European contract and see the light’ – which I laughed at because it’s such a deliciously specific insult.
These two remind me of those Christian ‘good looking young parents’ vloggers from a few years back. Anything for a bit of nonsensical fame. So annoying.
I wasn’t aware we women NEEDED to have a “guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you” in order to be happy. Gee, thanks Trippster, there’s hope for all of us.
/sarcasm
Maybe HIS woman does, maybe this made her feel confident and loved, I don’t get why people are so involved in this relationship?
We aren’t involved. We’re commenting on it. He’s the one who threw it out there for public consumption.
Perpetua, how does a self serving social media post make anyone feel loved? He could have said all this to her himself and been done with it. He, instead, posted it publicly and now it’s gone viral, which was apparently his intent. Of course people are going to talk about it. That’s not being “involved.”
Boyfriend was trolling for praise and attention. Look at me I am great cause I love a woman with some extra pounds. YAY ME!
Because it was put out there for public consumption and I chose to consume it and rate my experience. Because in my practice every day I see women made to feel that they are nothing without a man to love them (even if they would prefer that love to come from a woman). The whole tone of his post was actually quite… I just can’t. It reads “someday, if you’re very patient, some man will love you in spite of your flaws, in spite of what you way, in spite of who you are.”
I have to confess that his comment seemed sort of refreshing at first. I rarely hear or read about men talking to other men about checking their attitudes about women’s appearance. I agree that his statement is problemmatic in many ways, and I didn’t read anything else on his IG, so not sure of his motives, etc. But, he may just be reflecting how guys really talk to one another. Or his crowd, at least. Not saying it’s right.
Eh, I thought his comment was sweet. It’s true what he’s saying: a woman of her curves is called chubby or even fat by dudebros and I’m glad that men who like curvey women are talking about it. He’s a handsome man so he’s fighting a stereotype that only “ugly” and “fat” and “desperate” men desire plus sized women.
Someone help me out here. I haven’t read any of the “think pieces” linked to so maybe I’m missing something. Where in that post does he love her despite her size? It’s possible to read it as self-congratulatory. It’s possible to do that with 80% of Instagram. It’s also possible to read it as something a lot less negative though.
Looking at the rest of IG, it’s apparent that he’s exhausting, super extra, and actually and calls himself a “wordsmith, public speaker, and creative activist”!!! But if he’s fetishizing anything, she’s contributing. She’s letting her dude trot her out for followers.
Btw, it’s actually not that easy for a lot of men to admit that the common idea of beautiful (thin, pretty, white) is not actually their idea of what’s attractive. Just as an aside.
Oh My God your last paragraph is the story of my life.
I don’t see it. Haven’t dug into his IG because I can’t be bothered. But the hatefest over this is telling – I read his IG, ok fine, he’s hot for his wife and wants the world to know it, but the scroll down through the memes on Jezebel – . Lots of hate and body shaming toward thick, curvy fat whatever women on there, masquerading as a critique of this guy. My special fave was the one of Jabba the Hut
Maybe because a lot of his post were about her weight.
The Jezzies are brutal to other women in the name of feminism. I stopped reading that garbage a long time ago.
No, I dislike this guy because he is a terrible person.
1. Your social media has revealed him to be racist and homophobic.
2. It has also revealed his wife is racist and homophobic.
3. No one deserves a pat on the back for proclaiming their love for someone.
4. Women don’t need validation from men.
5. He is a a terrible human being. See above.
Where does it show they’re racist and homophobic? I looked at his IG and didn’t see anything, is there something in particular that flagged it for you? Genuinely curious.
Your comment inspired me to take a look at his IG, but I don’t see it. I’m curious as well.
It is possible in the last few days they have deleted things since being exposed. But Tess Holiday has screencaps on her Twitter.
https://twitter.com/Tess_Holliday/status/893828537500655616
Twitter pulled up the receipts as always. They found tweets from 2014 and on that were blatantly racist and homophobic
I’m tech-challenged and lazy so I can’t/won’t link but goggle “Robbie Tripp racist & homophobic”. The 1st site was shortlist.com. It’s on there.
They are pigs. (I’m not fat shaming).
Holy sh*t. Thanks for posting that screenshot, Merritt. Gross.
These fools got exposed. So much for branding. Now they need to go hide and go away. I admit to loving their delicious downfall.
@Merritt – thanks for the link and showing their true faces. Ugly. It ain’t all rainbows and TEDtalks for these idiots.
She has gorgeous hair and good bone structure. If I gain 10 lbs you see it in my face immediately. Le sigh…
I have the opposite problem. I lose weight, I lose from my face first. And I have a skinny face so I look older and more tired when I’m thinner. Sob!
This is weird to me. My husband met me after I put A LOT of weight on after going into treatment for an eating disorder and started medication. I was at least 50lbs over what I had been. He was almost underweight – very lean. I still haven’t lost that weight, and it’s never, ever been a topic except when I mention how yucky I feel. He tells me I’m beautiful, says he’ll support whatever I need to do to feel better and that’s it. I would be mortified if he wrote a post like that because I know he loves ME. Me independent of my extra weight. If he were to call attention to it, even in a “positive” way, I would find it utterly disingenuous. And I agree with an earlier poster, it would be like me saying “I know most men think they should be buff but I love his soft arms and belly! That’s a real man!” Ugh, eff that. I love him for everything he is, period, end of story. And “a real man” who loves you with every fiber of their being doesn’t need to make weird demonstrations like this. It’s just strange.
Thank you for saying this. I started to type a reply to LittleMissNaughty upthread but I felt like I wasn’t articulating myself properly.
But yeah it’s this: “I would be mortified if he wrote a post like that because I know he loves ME. Me independent of my extra weight. If he were to call attention to it, even in a “positive” way, I would find it utterly disingenuous.”
Exactly. If he truly loves her then he shouldn’t have to write this long post explaining how he loves her despite her weight. That doesn’t feel like acceptance or love to me.
I’m not overweight but my relationship is slightly unconventional in that my BF is 8 years younger than me. It would be like if my BF wrote this bloviating, overwrought Instagram post about how he loves me despite my age. It would just draw attention to the fact that this is something he is very aware of and would make me wonder if he was uncomfortable about it, so much so that he felt like he had to write a long post defending his choice to be with me even though I’ll be 40 in less than a couple years.
KWIM?
Can I just say, since Kitten almost responded to me ;-), that I know exactly what you mean. I don’t like attention on my body. I don’t like comments like “Oh you lost weight, you look great.” because 1) I’m actively trying to not let my weight dictate my mood anymore, 2) all I hear is “You were fat before.” and 3) it means people notice when I gain it. I know, it’s …. not healthy. So to me personally, the entire post about his gf’s body is – as I wrote above – extra and NOT my thing. Like the guy himself.
Clearly, this woman does not feel the same way though. You, Kitten and I don’t want attention drawn to something that makes us uncomfortable or that we feel is probably not the reason someone loves us but the “price of admission”, to quote Dan Savage. Correct me if I’m wrong though. That’s how I read your posts. The fact that so many seem to equate her size with negative qualities/attributes like “small penis” etc., says a lot though.
It might also be a generational thing. IG in all it’s fun and glory is the ultimate playground for vain attention seekers. I sound old now but I honestly don’t think I belong in the millennial category despite my age.
Also, just to be annoying, he never says she’s “a real woman” because of her weight or he loves her “despite” her size.
Fair enough. She does seem to enjoy the attention and what she perceives to be acceptance. To be fair to this guy, he does have a lot of posts that have nothing to do with his wife’s weight, posts that are simply about how much he loves and appreciates her.
The thing is, on a personal level I struggle with that as well. It could be that we are all just cynical jerks and he DOES truly love her and this is simply how he expresses that love–in a very..um…in-your-face kind of way. As others have pointed out, that’s not unusual on social media.
But that wouldn’t work for me. I’m also older and for the most part, extremely private. Personally, it would cheapen all the wonderful and intimate things my BF says to me if he posted it on social media instead. But as you said, this seems to work for these two so maybe just different strokes?
Does feel like they’re trying to create IG brand for their relationship but maybe it is sincere.
(sorry for the word salad…warned you that I’m inarticulate today!)
I’m thinking they want to be IG stars.
I totally agree – I should have placed more emphasis on “This is weird TO ME”. Clearly, she’s super into it, and while it’s not my thing more power to her. Love the Dan Savage piece!
It’s not annoying at all to call out someone’s lack of attention to quotes – the quote I was referring to, and should have directly done so, was this: “A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty”. While it is true a mannequin is not a real woman, adult movie stars are, as are the actresses who play characters in movies. There are tons of women out there who work very hard on their physique, women who suffer from debilitating eating disorders and might very well be the size of a mannequin, women who are naturally thin, women who have metabolic disorders and can’t gain weight, etc. I think I take offense at the “real woman” talk because all women (if they’re breathing that is) are real. So (for me) when I hear men in particular say they prefer “real women” at the expense of so many other women out there it does seem a bit “fetish-y”. At least, I think about how we would be calling out a man who said “real women are women with ripped abs, who prioritize fitness and healthy eating.”
But I also agree, and should have chosen my words differently – small penis talk, soft body talk, it is a bit of a false equivalency, so thank you for bringing attention to that!
“The fact that so many seem to equate her size with negative qualities/attributes like “small penis” etc., says a lot though.”
Wanted to clarify my satirical post above re: small penis because I missed this part of your comment the first time around.
It was mainly meant to be lighthearted but on a serious note, I think it’s effective in making an important point about the difference in the way our society treats men and women.
To me, it isn’t a false equivalence at all because the reality is that men have always benefitted from the idea that large penis = virility/”studliness” or the epitome of masculinity. Also, young men are traditionally celebrated and heralded for developing early.
Women on the other hand, have been slut-shamed/ostracized and/or eroticized/fetishized simply because some of us were genetically gifted with big breasts or an hourglass physique.
Women who develop early are often sexualized at a young age and unlike men, young women don’t have the benefit of being able to hide it.
Most of the time young women are emotionally unequipped to deal with this kind of attention and the patriarchy could care less.
This dude’s essay really reinforces the idea that at the end of the day, a woman daring to exist in a public space has to answer to the public for her flaws. Let’s be real: if penis size was the standard in which women judged men like body size/type is the standard in which men judge women, we all would have drowned in male tears by now.
Also, I don’t think small penis should be considered a “negative attribute” much like I don’t think a plus size should be considered a “negative attribute”.
At the risk of getting a bit um…technical, I have plenty of friends who prefer a smaller penis because they themselves are small down there and any more is too much. But none of them have felt the need to write a long-winded IG post about their love for small peen because the patriarchy/male privilege doesn’t demand that of them.
@ sunnydaze: I agree that the real women talk is usually nonsense. It is mostly used to draw lines between certain groups of women, i.e. heavier, thinner, etc. and in that context it’s just ridiculous. I understand where it originated though. If you’re not cover model beautiful (not even models really look like that), it’s like you have to answer for it on a daily basis. And one very crucial aspect of that ideal is size. So women started saying “real” as in not a photoshopped ideal. And very quickly that became the way for average sized/heavier women to tell their surroundings that this photoshopped crap is not attainable and for most, neither is a very small size. Whenever you put down a group long enough, the reaction will be strong and that often includes going too far or talking nonsense. We need to reign it is with the real women talk but I honestly think he’s not even using it that incorrectly, at leas when he’s referring to stereotypes of women. They’re not real.
@ Kitten: Alright. But I really do think that in general, a small penis is viewed negatively, at least by society’s standards. As is her weight. That doesn’t reflect how important these things actually are to individuals.
Also, the simple fact that the most unattractive guys openly and unashamedly judge women’s appearance is enough to let us know the difference in how our looks are valued. Maybe I balked at the comparison because it’s not something we see every day. I would say if a woman talked about the receding hairline of her man the way he talks about her weight, I’d be on board with that analogy.
In general, these two are just too much for my personal taste.
I agree. I’m not skinny, I’m just average and I’ve put on a little weight since being with my husband just due to age and all that. My husband would never even think of writing a post like the above because my weight means less than nothing to him, he doesn’t even notice it. He certainly would not think he’s a hero for pointing it out on a social media account and he certainly doesn’t love me ‘despite’ my weight. To him he won the lottery! He’s lucky he got ME! That I think is the big difference in attitudes and why this post rubbed me the wrong way.
His post basically confirmed to me that men haven’t changed at all since the 90s when skinny was in, I mean let’s face it skinny will always be the desired body type of young men, probably men in general. With all the body positivity and emphasis on curves being “in” with the Kardashians, I thought things had changed, but they really haven’t and I didn’t notice it till recently when I saw Trisha Paytas on U.K. Big Brother and how the young guys on there treated her. Basically she became the fat girl in high school again even though she has a pretty face, the thin tattooed less attractive girls will always get more attention simply because they are thin.
It’s sad, because I though we were becoming more accepting of women with a little more meat as beautiful, maybe women have, but what men want will always be the desired preference and they want thin.
This douchey guy wants credit basically for going against what all his friends want. It’s like he’s fishing for compliments for his wife or something which seems gross.
I’m 5’9″ and big boned (yes it’s real! Even my nutritionist has “structurally large” on her chart and gives me extra calories to account for it. My shoulders are huge). When I was a size 10 my friends and family were trying to get me help because I was starving myself and my hip bones protruded and I had no fat on my body. To clarify I wasn’t anorexic but I had been starving myself for months and luckily I recovered from the episode.
My healthy weight puts me at a size 14/16. This woman must be shorter because she’s curvier than I am at that size, but she still looks very nice.
I am currently an 18/20ish (not even sure right now, just had my second baby last month so I’m not even wearing real pants at the moment haha). I still look pretty great but I’m carrying plenty of extra weight in my midsection. My goal is to get to a size 14 again and let me tell you, I’ll look awesome and not overweight at all. So yes for many women this is a very healthy size range.
That’s good they recognize you are larger boned and need more calories. I 5 ft 6 in and I think according to my BMI, I’m supposed to be Max 150 lbs. I’ve lost 17 pounds and weigh 168. Everyone is saying you look thin, you look great. But I’m still over my BMI. But I also do weight training. I feel personally at 150, I would be too skinny looking. Idk, it’s so hard to know where you should be. And then of course,, all the perceived ideals play into that as well. Sigh
I think the reaction was as much/more to do with him presenting himself as some sort of hero – he mentions how he was teased for liking chubby girls as a teenager, like that is some sort of hardship he had to overcome in life, and now he can live in his real brave manhood by being with his (much hotter than him actually!) wife. His wife seems more than happy to use her body/image to win Insta fame, they are both equally cringe imo. There is genuine body positivity, and then there is this watered down “I’m hot and pretty and ALSO curvy in the right places” version that is capitalizing on a genuine feminist, self accepting no matter what shape or ability or race movement. His wife is still well within what much of society considers “acceptably fat”. I think a lot of the deep rage responses to this were because these two wannabe internet famous people are just riding the coattails of something that is about more than pretty white women who are just kissing the “chubby” spectrum acting like they are super brave/spokespeople, when really they are just brazen attention whores. Their response to the criticism only further highlights their oblivious-ness to the real societal body discrimination problems they are coasting on the back of.
Maybe is because I just woke up and haven’t processed this article, but where is he asking for a Feminism Award? The post is cringe, but is no different then other thousands of posts about men and women stating how they love their partners ‘beyond their flaws’. Perhaps she was feeling down that day because her weight and he decided to write that up, which is cringey but it doesnt seem to bother her. Their problematic selfs aside, this reaction to this particular IG post seems OTT.
I think his post comes from the heart, but it sounds kind of patronizing towards other women. As in, you’re not perfect but someone will love you. And I know he means to be comforting, but it comes across as patronizing. Maybe because it’s coming from a guy and I’m sensitive about my weight.
I think it’s because we accept men with all their flaws while they pick us apart. So for a guy to say I love my curvy wife, it sounds like he wants a cookie for it. When we do this all the time while at the same time, trying to be more in shape than ourman, because we know men will not allow us to be overweight, while we accept them as they are.
I dont disagree that the tone is….off. BUT, I have heard, on multiple occasions, my guy friends tell me things like “a lot of guys are attracted to girls who are not thin- but we’re conditioned and told to like skinny, so thats what we go for.”
With that in mind, and as a bigger girl, I cant help but appreciate this man just coming out and saying “I like this kind of body, and if you do, you shouldnt be ashamed of it.” I think we’re shooting the messenger a bit here. It’s not his fault that society says skinny=worthy of love. He’s doing his part, as a man talking to other men, to combat that.
This reminds of a friend who is in a relationship with a black dude. Almost every post is about him being black or being in a interracial relationship. Like, thank you for your activism. 🙄
It might be self defense on her part. You can be sure that they have received at least some negative attention because of their different skintones.
Maybe she is just doing it to advertise how comfortable she is, so that no toxic douchebags would come to harrass her.
Nah she’s really like this dude but with interracial relationships will heal racism or everyone hates me because I love black men (not the name of her boyfriend), but can’t name qualities of black men she loves so much except for p*nis.
Every time racism is brought up, she’ll make a post like “why hate each other when we could be making this? *posts picture of a random light skin & light eyes biracial baby*”
I actually think Caly is right on this one. My brother’s ex-girlfriend wanted a cookie for dating him cause he was black. She thought she had done the bravest thing in the world dating him and every conversation was about them being a different race. She wanted everyone to know just how wonderful and accepting this made her. It was nauseating and condescending.
Also, this topic reminds me of something else.
I once sat through a class presentation on violence against Aboriginal women in Canada. At the end of the presentation, the woman who did the topic actually showed her screenshot of tweets taking on racists on the social media platform. She wanted a cookie and to pat herself on the back for being white and raising awareness. Our professor was not impressed nor were the Aboriginal students in the course.
Maybe because I live in the South but umm…lol at this guy. He better chill acting like he’s doing her a favor, she wouldn’t have a lonely day where I live.
I know. I think she is cute and a lot of men would want her. It’s not like he’s dating Beth Ditto. His wife is a normal attractive woman who is thick. If she were black or Latina, people would probably ask what is so special about her. Lots of women look like this and they have an active sex life and can find boyfriends and husbands.
I thought he was simply saying that the media presents a narrow ideal of beauty that is socially constructed, and the truth is that men are attracted to other types as well. The gist of his post seemed to be that men are attracted to a wide array of beauties, aside from what what the media shows, yet the media presents a social “lie” of sorts that some have bought into.
He might be self-promotional, but that’s the way social media makes everyone come across. I’ve seen men on Facebook talk about how great their wives look at size 2 after giving birth and this post doesn’t seem that much different, just in a different direction. Maybe this is something weird that men do (like when Wonder Woman’s husband had that t-shirt on of who he’s married to, and put it on Instagram). I could understand writing think-pieces on this guy if he were Pierce Brosnan, but since he’s an average guy, I’m surprised his post would get more attention than some other guy who is probably writing the same thing somewhere else.
Wow. Ladies and gents let us take this to the most basic level. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU TAKE THE PERSON AS A WHOLE AND NOT MARRY HIM/HER JUST FOR 1 THING. So Mr Souperdouche deserves a medal for being the worst and most shallow human being out there and so deserves she for standing up for him. FOR GOD SAKE THEY ARE MARRIED. What were their vowes? I keep putting up with you as long as you stay a certain size as I don’t give a hoot about the rest of you? Me and my men met 8 years ago when I was a size Uk10 and fit as hell. He was average. I feel for him, as I liked his personality. He first loved me for my body. Later he loved me for me and my brains and everything else. 3 years ago, I got f****ed by cancer, died twice was half paralysed, put on weight, lost some weight, put on weight. Had good days had days when I was covered in my own vomit and excrement due to illness. And he stayed and now we are going to celebrate 8 years. I tell him sometimes I hate him and wish I never met him,so does he. We are not married as we don’t see the point as for now. But if he would ever post sh888t like that or even think about sh888t like that he could would be carrying his balls in a pouche on the left and his peen in a pouch on the right. Love means being with the person underneath the skin, not the skin. Real love makes you blind to everything above skin level. Same like parents don’t mind changing nappies while I get physically sick when I just smell one, as I am not a parent.
So why do I think he is the worst person out there in the world and worse than any cosmo covers or runways put together can be?! Because he tells the world it is OK to love and MARRY someone just for one aspect. And no,don’t give me the sh888t he did not mean it this way. That is very very very very very well thought through. God am I 😡. IF he wanted to spread body positivity, he should have taken the pic and caption it simply the love of my life,the smartest,funniest, cutest and sexiest woman in the world. This would be less douchy and more encouraging. But not this… I love her because she is fat and will divorce her and look for someone else as soon as she starts loosing some as I won’t be the “good guy who had mercy on” her” guy anymore#. A true man who really loves you doesn’t see your size, your imperfections or your flaws. He only sees your soul. And same goes for ladies. IF you get with a guy for his looks or money only anf make it as obvious as the douche above, don’t get all fluffed up if people call you out on it. And for all the singles out there, no it does not happen overnight that you really start loving someone. It builds up over time and neither of you will know you are really in love until after the fact like Dan and I. Pink sang it best in her song. True love.
OK now I am calmer
It is maddening. Sigh This guy is an insult to women period.
Ummm…I’m sorry but I feel like I’m missing the part where she’s big?
All y’all saying “oh this is the ‘new normal’ etc etc” do y’all look like size 4 models?
Like…huh?
I apologize but I am confused. I scrolled through her insta and, sure, she’s not the “classic” model type but, she’s beautiful and doesn’t look like she’s anywhere close to eating herself to death (as some in the thread have been harping on).
Ya, I don’t get it.
People are not criticizing her body. They are criticizing him acting like a hero for being with a woman who is of average size for an American.
The problem with a lot of people who are more naturally thin, or choose to starve or deny themselves a variety of food, is they like to judge others who are enjoying their lives even if it means being 15 pounds heavier. If someone thinks being a size 4 is worth cutting out all dairy, sweets, or carbs, or starving oneself and eating a plate of lettuce for lunch and dinner, then that is that person’s choice. I find eating to be one of the joys in life, and if that means cooking with duck fat, topping my plate with truffle oil, or eating a steak every so often won’t ever make me thin, then so be it! If someone was genetically blessed to be tall and thin, that person needs to realize that a lot of other people aren’t as lucky. I do see people judging her body, because her husband chose to make her body a topic of discussion. There is nothing wrong with her and there is nothing abnormal about having a man find her body type attractive. All of this is so ridiculous.
As a curvy gal myself-who’s married to someone who’s thin-if my husband ever posted something like this on social media, he would find his stuff on the front lawn.
I fail to see where this dude is asking for some sort of Feminism Award, he’s just stating that Hollywood only presents one type of beauty and guys shouldn’t be ashamed to like all different body types. As an overweight person who guys aren’t sexually attracted to, that’s refreshing, even if that woman is a smaller size than me. It’s been my experience that men really aren’t sexually attracted to larger women, and if they are in a relationship with one they aren’t bragging on social media about how hot they find her. So this guy may be problematic and he may not have said things 100% correctly, but his statement is a refreshing change to what I normally hear and read from men.
What really creeped me out was the detail with which he described her body and how that is part of our world. No painting, no sculpture and definitely none of the literature we read is able to not describe women in that way so of course it has become of how women are seen. I dare you, grab a random book and not only see how women’s bodies are described while men have traits of character , also look at the specific language.
I wonder what would happen if we started to describe male bodies the same way.
Sorry but I don’t see the problem. I imagine he got tired of reading sexist things from people, because let’s face it. Fat shaming and Internet bullying/trolling is a serious problem. I see it as him more raising awareness than everything and if he doing it for attention, so what? Every single news article you read, every single blog, every single Instagram post or selfie is for attention. All of us are guilty. We even comment on posts to get reactions from others and ultimately attention. What I see as the problem here is that even if a man is saying something nice he gets bashed for it. I have literally been told that I’m fat and I should kill myself from complete strangers who don’t even know what I look like and then we have this man who glorifies and clearly loves his wife and her body. My husband is just like him and although my husband won’t post something like that, he loves his women thick and curvy. We need to not let things like this get to us when there are real trolls out there and some are even president.
There has always been so much emphasis placed on a woman’s worth being directly tied to the desirability of her body. In this case, he is no better than the men who are obsessed with dating thin models. I’ve always found the “real women have curves” line so cringey because if we reversed genders and said “real men have broad shoulders” people would laugh and find it comical. Could you imagine if his wife posted something similar to his post about his appearance? people would laugh.
I saw this story on Jezebel yesterday and looked up his Instagram. In his profile he use to have “married to a curvy goddess.” Once again, why couldn’t you just say, married to a goddess? He is placing so much importance on her physical appearance in the same sense that we place high importance on conventional beauty standards. He doesn’t understand the irony of it. In short, he seems to love his wife’s physical appearance more than anything else and I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she lost weight? They’re obviously trying to brand their relationship, it would devastate him.
This guy looks like an off-brand version of The Situation.
If he was talking about his skinny wife and her “sexy thigh gap” or some such Id still be embarrassed because talking about somebody’s physical attributes in such a way embarrasses me in general.
But it seems to me his message is a good one overall. He’s just trying to celebrate thick women as being equally desirable and gorgeous.
This is still necessary in my opinion and why not hear it from a random white guy too?
Tons of men would find his wife desirable, it’s just in white middle and upperclass communities that skinny women are the most prized kind, generally.
Is ‘thick’ really an acceptable term for curvy women in the US? It seems almost derogatory and disrespectful to me. I guess it’s language nuances…. but still, thick?
From my side of the pond, thick = stupid, and that ‘I Love Thick Women’ t-shirt immediately makes me think of the genuinely thick, z-list, attention-seeking flotsam and jetsam that live on the DM sidebar of shame.
‘Thick’ is how black people typically describe a woman with thicker thighs and a booty. It’s transferred into common paralance amongst everyone now.
Ok, thanks, Vovicia.
As women, we are never far from being valued and defined by our bodies. We are constantly reminded of what we are lacking or what we have that is socially acceptable. His post is an insult and she thinks it is so cool her guy likes fuller figures. She’s not abnormal or disfigured and I don’t think it takes special skills to love her so what is his damn point? He is using her body for his own ego and to show the world that he is one of the good guys. Her body, not an accomplishment of his or how lucky he is to be loved by an amazing woman is his great achievement.
I hope I never run into him in SF wearing that “I love Thick Women” shirt.
He loves his wife. He loves her body. He loves himself. He worded it badly.
Of all the ugly messages and just general ugliness to be found on social media, I can’t believe people are clamoring about this guy’s post about his wife. Not everyone is a wordsmith. Not everyone expects to go viral. Having a type isn’t fetishizing, either. I mean damn.
Now, his transphobia is something that deserves more scrutiny.
Except on his own website he is a self-proclaimed wordsmith. And since he has a social media following and has done a Tedx talk, it is not surprising that something he posted went viral.
See, I read this differently. There is so much stress put on women to be thin and guys who think all women should be thin enough to fall into a crack in the floor. This guy says he loves his wife the way she is. I take his comments to be just that.
I think we’re shooting the messenger a bit here. It’s not his fault that society says skinny=worthy of love. He’s doing his part, as a man talking to other men, to combat that (at least thats how it read to me). I have heard, on multiple occasions, my guy friends tell me things like “a lot of guys are attracted to girls who are not thin- but we’re conditioned and told to like skinny, so thats what we go for.”
With that in mind, and as a bigger girl, I cant help but appreciate this man just coming out and saying “I like this kind of body, and if you do too, you shouldnt be ashamed of it.” Was his wording perfect? No. But if you demand perfection from allies, you will have none.
I don’t consider a person with a history of bigoted social media posts to be an ally.
Yep. I can’t see a bigot also being self-actualized about size.
I would fracking kill my husband.
That is all.
He doesn’t get it yet. But he’s trying. He gets the award for participation.
What a douche. Feel sorry for his “thick woman” but if she’s happy, more power to her.
Regardless of her being the average size for NA women (less than 30% of American women have a BMI within the normal range), she’s still very much overweight. And yes men being attracted to overweight women is still scorned upon in the society and men actively avoid overweight women even if they are attracted to them because of peer pressure, so no I’m not going to sit here and yell at him for speaking up. He gets a pass from me regardless of how self congratulatory his post is.
“We’re hating on a guy who fetishes his wife’s normal body.”
Really?!? If he posted the same thing about a thin girl would you call it fetishizing? That’s insane, the dude is merely in love with the way his wife looks. So what, why crucify him for that?? Anyone’s who’s been in love knows you idolize the other person and think that everything about them is perfect. That’s normal, not a fetish and not something people should get upset about.
Jesus, over-reacting much.
Thank you!
My husband has always liked women who are normal sized and a little bigger. He’s never been so moved as to post about it but has always been proud to have me on his arm (I’m a 14). He is afro-latino though so that probably makes a difference. He is mystified by the man’s post and the myriad reactions to it. His reaction is “white people troubles.” He thinks that the wife is very beautiful and the man is out of his league and should learn to love himself more.
“…. But then the tide turned, and others said he was just looking for attention — and actually body shaming her by pointing out her shape. Now Tripp is speaking out about the negativity, saying that it’s a stretch to see his post as self-serving. …”
That argument does work only if you assume that pointing out her shape is inherently negative. But that is not how this guy sees his lady. He sees his lady with the same appreciation an aging billionaire might see his latest perky size-0 C-cupped 20-years-old model conquest who recently graced Vogue/Cosmo/whatever.
I don’t understand this “fetishizing” accusation that’s being thrown around so much lately. If someone is simply into something, that’s a fetish now? I thought fetishes were when people were into abnormal things. I like tall men. Do I fetishize tall men? I don’t get it.
Fetish has never meant someone is into abnormal things, it refers to an abnormal level of sexual gratification being derived from a certain thing/body part/ethnicity etc. The problem with it when the object of fetishisation is a person (fetishise door knobs all you like no harm there) or is a part of a person is that they are quite specifically not valued as people but as fetish objects. It’s dehumanising and demeaning.
This guy means well. He’s harmless. I don’t think this is a fetish. Aren’t those guys into woman who are morbidly obese?! I think he loves his wife. He should! She’s beautiful!
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Thanks for this post, as I haven’t LOL’d in a couple days. Dude is seriously delusional and an a**. Could you imagine if women posted about loving their husbands despite their low-income and small penis? It amazes me that men still think women are so lucky to have any dick that swings their way while they deserve the very very best. Cuz his wife is gorge and could do better than his pink pansy wearing self.