I had debilitating periods for years until I went on the pill a year ago. I switched birth control recently and they’ve come back. Earlier this week, writing from bed and mad at the world, I tried to feel gratitude that I work from home. I don’t think it’s as easy for people with other non traditional jobs though, like musicians and actors. They have teams of people who rely on them to show up. Halsey explained what that’s like in a new interview with Us Magazine, which she gave from at a benefit for the Endometriosis Foundation. She said then when she’s dealing with endo she has men around her and she has to tell *them* to suck it up.
If Halsey ever felt embarrassed about the condition, that all went out the window when her music career took off at 18. “I have male managers in my life. I’m surrounded by men all the time,” she told Us Weekly at the Endometriosis Foundation of America Blossom Ball in NYC on Monday, March 19. “There were times when I was bleeding through my clothes or I was sick and it got to the point where I had to look at everyone around me and be like, ‘You know what? that is something that is a reality for me and you need to suck it up and deal.’”
“I’m not going to let you make me ashamed of this,” she continued. “We’re going to get through this.”
Inside the event, held at Cipriani 42nd Street, Halsey accepted a Blossom Award as her boyfriend G-Eazy watched on with pride. In her speech, she opened up about her decision to go public with her endometriosis diagnosis in January 2016.
“I have the privilege of getting to meet a lot of young fans on the road and many of them have told me that without that tweet they wouldn’t have taken the opportunity to talk to their doctors and physicians and say ‘Hey, something’s not right,’” she told the audience, according to Vogue. “A lot of people are taught to believe the pain is normal. If you think something is wrong, it probably is. You need to go and demand that someone takes you seriously. Your health is all you have, and especially as a young women who has reproductive pain, you need to take care of yourself.”
I appreciate how she frames this, how she’s taking time for herself to recover, and how she knows that’s important. Isn’t it ironic that we have to censor our own health problems because people who will never experience anything like it can’t handle a few details? This reminds me of Hecate’s story of merely mentioning perimenopause at a dinner party and being told, by another woman, to censor herself because her delicate husband didn’t want to hear about it. Hecate didn’t give details at that party, she just said that it was difficult. Poor men, having to hear about women’s experiences in a way that makes them uncomfortable.
Photos credit: Backgrid and WENN. Halsey has awful style, right?
Good for her. I’m sitting here- achy and crampy and grateful to be working from home today as well.
They do need to suck it up. She’s right.
I love her on so many levels… and I write this just having wrapped up a 10 DAY PERIOD. so yea, men can just suck it up and deal with it.
lol I totally agree.
Sometimes my husband complains I’m a pain to deal with because I’m pregnant and crabby from having morning sickness of three months straight and I’m like, deal with it. 😀
I find Halsey’s singing voice to be really grating but I have a grudging respect for her in terms of how she approaches her career and for how she is speaking about her condition here.
100%. She annoys, but also has some good things. She is in her early 20’s, so she’s getting somewhat of a pass for certain things. At least for now.
I am sitting at work with a Mini Pad on my back, under my clothes, because my cramps are killing me today.
We do not make our pain up and I’m tired of men telling us to “deal with it” or accusing us of using it as an excuse.
I am a teacher. I’ve worked with a fever, strep throat, my voice gone and my back in shambles. The only thing that has made me call in sick are bad periods, as in debilitating. It’s a nightmare. Every month I pray that the worst of it is during the weekend so I won’t have to deal with it. Also, for some reason, I feel like people know why I can’t show up and that causes me an extra layer of anxiety…
It’s ridiculous. I will absolutely sympathize with and understand any woman going through that but somehow I am extremely hard on myself, like I’m weak and this is my fault. The human psyche is a giant mystery….
It’s also a shame that you felt you had to work with a fever, strep throat, etc. We really need to respect people’s right to take care of themselves in healthful (and not get others sick too) ways for all types of illnesses. I will not work for anyone that will expect me to work if I am in pain or have something communicable. Employers need to help and support employees to develop a better standard of care for themselves. If you show up unwell, you go home. No threatening of losing your job, etc. It benefits no one when someone is “sick” on many levels.
I worked for Los Angeles Unified Schools, and the (male) DISTRICT DOCTOR told me that unless I had a fever of 101 or higher, I was expected to be at work! I basically told him to stick t where the sun don’t shine and called my union rep lol.
When I was a teen, I sometimes had my dad or brother run out and buy me pads. They always acted like I was sending them in front of a firing squad. Men can be the Biggest babies! I told them you want to know what period pain feels like…imagine being kicked in the nuts with steel toe boots all day long. They shut their complaints.
Ugh. Yes. They act like such PABs. No one thinks you’re buying pads or tampons for yourself dude! It means you have a woman in your life! Pretend it’s your hot girlfriend or something. WTH. I married the only boyfriend who didn’t freak about that stuff. It was a great life choice, as he is good and supportive of women in many other, bigger, ways as well.
Ash/Halsey has been talking about these topics since forever, and while I’m not a fan of all her music, I will always appreciate her for this. She really talks the talk and walks the walk.
I actually don’t even know who this is. I clicked to read the story of a young woman not being shamed about periods. Growing up in the 80s/90s, reading Seventeen mag, we certainly thought we lived in a much more enlightened era than, say, the Brady Bunch girls, but tampon ads still said stuff like “you’d die if he knew.”
I used to read YM and nearly all the “Say Anything” stories were about getting your period. I had such a hangup for years.
I grew up in India where a lot of families still segregate women during their periods. Even if some families are not that extreme, it’s very common to still have rules like not touching certain foods while in your period (the ‘logic’ being that a woman on her period is impure and her mere touch can spoil food), not bring allowed to enter kitchens, not bring allowed to visit religious spots. My family was nowhere that bad but my gran and mum would still ask me not enter the kitchen etc. My gran was used to being sent to a shed outside the house when she started her periods. My mum thought it all rubbish but wanted to follow tradition anyway. I spent the first 3 years of getting periods being depressed and angry. There was no scientific education about it and I was told periods were a way of expelling ‘impure’ blood. Every time I got a period, I was repulsed by my body. And then, we got the internet and I learnt about periods. I clearly remember the day when I walked into the kitchen, angry as hell, and telling my family that I’d break every plate and pot in there if anyone ever policed my body again. Sounds extreme now, but it was really powerful for me as a young woman. I think my little act of rebellion also helped my mother realise that she didn’t have to carry on with regressive practices in the name of tradition. Now, with me, this will die in my family. Never again will a little girl be made to feel afraid of her body and belittled. The cycle (hah) ends with me.
I moved to the UK, got the implant three years ago and haven’t had a period since. Can’t say I miss the painful buggers. Thank you NHS!!!
MayaM, I salute you. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Thank you also for helping to end period shaming.
High five sister!
I was no where policed as much at home by my mother or granny, except not touching God’s during period but they were mindful of other people’s house and manner. A few years back I went to a friends’s house and sat outside their prayer room and even then she said: you have no respect for other people. Why did you even have to sit near the door of the prayer room.
Came as a nasty surprise because my mother never stopped me from entering prayer room during period.
I pretty much have a reputation of that B in my extended family because I refuse to take their misogyny silently and have been protesting since pre teens
MayaM that is so sad! I’m so glad you stood up for yourself. And (for others out there) having an extreme reaction is apropos when you are dealing with extremism.
Go you, MayaM!
I recently binge watched an australian show called Rush. At some point, an annoyed boss asks a young female employee if she has a good reason for being late. Her snapping answer: “I’m experiencing the worst menstrual pain of my life, it’s a miracle I’m even here”.
I cheered in front of my screen.
Good for this young woman to speak up.
I appreciate that women are finally talking about endo. I used to throw up for 2 days every month until i had my endometriosis surgically treated – it’s been under control since surgery but I think it’s coming back.
And F*** the delicate flower men who can’t deal with the practicalities of blood and pain and the effects of childbirth and the after-effects and the condition of just being a woman. They obviously need to women-up. I am done making their lives more comfortable at my detriment.
I suffer from PMDD, which could cause me debilitating physical PMS symptoms plus severe depression and rage for 2 weeks every month. For years I was told my extreme PMS was just something “some girls have worse than others.” It worsened through my 20’s and finally at the age of 31, when it was starting to severely impact my job and my relationship, I started to tell my doctor that something wasn’t right. I had to fight a bit and do my research, but finally she came around and gave me the diagnosis. I’ve tried to different treatments with varying success, though now I’ve just found out I’m pregnant (!!!) so I’ll be PMDD free for 9 months (though of course, pregnancy hormones will rear their head I’m sure).
My PMDD is my reality. My life is 2 weeks of PMS plus one full week of a heavy period. That’s most of my month, and I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t speak up about it when I need to. One of my best friends has endo and the pain and suffering she has endured it heartbreaking. She’s had multiple surgeries. She even came close to death at one point because the endo caused a hemorrhaging miscarriage. We did not ask for these problems. And any little pussy footed man baby that can’t handle a medical conversation needs to grow up.
Oh, I feel for you! That’s awful what you’ve had to live through.
I do not have PMDD, but I have hormonal depression and anxiety that is really affect by my periods. (I’ve never been on bc pills because I’m terrified of being one of the people who gets worse on them.) Anyway, I wanted to share that my pregnancy hormones are the only things that make me “normal”. I’m never worried about going off my meds for pregnancy because I know I’ll be my old self, who I miss greatly since she went away at 19 (I’m 39). Maybe it will be the same for you? I hope so!
I was just looking at pics of her and g eazy, and holy moly, he just loves her so much. It’s so sweet!! I’m so happy for her. Things seem to be going really career wise and personally.
LOLOLOL, I’m with her. About five years ago, I stopped giving a shit about whether or not men see my tampons/pads, overhear me discussing periods, or working through health issues over it. Women have body functions, deal with it. If I have to hear about erectile dysfunction on evening television, you can deal with my periods.
I’m not much for f-bombs, but F*** that noise needs to be heard by a lot more men, a lot more often, who whine to us about this stuff.