Luann de Lesseps of Real Housewives of NY is known for her very brief marriage to con man Tom D’Agostino, they divorced after eight months, and for being a drunken mess. More recently, she’s known for being an unapologetic racist a-hole who would never do blackface, even though she did blackface. She was arrested on Christmas Eve in Palm Beach for being drunk and assaulting a police officer. Right after that she went into rehab, but reports claimed she was drinking again as recently as last month. (For what it’s worth, her rep denied that.) Now Luann is claiming that she really is sober, but she doesn’t know if she’s an alcoholic because everyone tells her she’s not. People has a new interview with her, which you can watch on their site. Some of these quotes are from the video and some are from this article on People.
On her arrest
That night in Palm Beach was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It’s a night of course that I deeply regret and that I’m sorrowful about because it was so embarrassing and so shameful.She complains about jail
I was in a sundress… they didn’t give me a blanket, a towel. I was freezing cold on this metal bench by myself all night long.She claims she always drank responsibly
I’ve always been somebody who drinks responsibly… Drinking has been my boyfriend for a long time. The relationship with the boyfriend of alcohol stopped working. It was time to give that up and be by myself.She drank in the mornings
I think I realized that I was having issues with drinking when you have that hair of the dog drink every day in order to function. It didn’t feel good… I was just drinking too much and alcohol just stopped working for me.On going to rehab
It was sad because I was alone. I didn’t feel sad for myself. I felt proud of myself for being there. Rehab was a gift I gave myself. I never spent that much time focusing on me. I learned alcoholism is a disease.Her life now
I wake up in the morning and I meditate then I’ll go to a meeting or I’ll go to yoga.She has gratitude for what “happened” to her in Palm Beach
As horrible as that night in Palm Beach was, I have gratitude for that. I don’t think I would have stopped drinking if something this drastic hadn’t happened to me. I’m grateful to the universe for stopping me dead in my tracks. Too bad it took this far… public humiliation. Looking back it was meant to happen to me.She doesn’t know if she’s an alcoholic
Everybody around me says ‘Luann you’re not an alcoholic.’ I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic or not.
[From article and video on People]
Notice how in this interview she isn’t taking responsibility for being drunk and disorderly, it’s something that “happened” to her, not something she did. She regrets it, but she’s “sorrowful” about it because “it was so embarrassing,” she’s not “sorry.” She did issue a statement after her arrest but it was an “I’m sorry for anyone I offended” non-apology.
People reports that Luann drank “at least seven drinks a day” since her split last year. Seven drinks a day is binge drinking every day for a woman, according to UK guidelines. (If you’re trying to monitor your alcohol intake try drinkaware.co.uk, it’s free.) Of course Luann’s friends tell her she’s not an alcoholic. Don’t they always say that? I’m not an AA person, but they have that saying that you can take your misery back anytime you want. Luann sounds like she wants to take her misery back. She’s still in denial. It’s all about HER and what happened to her and how alcohol wasn’t serving HER. Her jail experience was just awful, she slept on a cold bench and had her cell phone taken away after she kicked and threatened to kill a police officer. All of that just “happened” to her.
After I wrote all this a bunch of other interviews and stories came out about LuAnn, one of which was about Russell Simmons grabbing her ass in an elevator. She said she told him “How dare you? Don’t ever do that again.” He didn’t apologize to her after that. I believe her, he’s been called out as a rapist and a serial abuser by several women, and this is consistent with that. In response to Luann’s story, Russell’s PR person just re-issued his previous denial. Why bother issuing a new response at this point?
news flash: you are
Pretty sure if you need a drink to function you’re an alcoholic.
Not sure about that, and I come from a long line of alcoholics. People can be heavy drinkers without actually being alcoholics.
Alcoholism is a physical dependence on alcohol. You don’t have to actually drink every day to be alcoholic or have more than one drink a day most of the week. Binge drinking (e.g., on weekends) is another manifestation of the disorder. That’s how many alcoholics manage to function and work even complex jobs for quite a while, until they can’t.
Just as with weed (which is not physically addictive), you can become emotionally dependent on alcohol without having the physical addiction. You crave the blunting of reality. Her body would be happier if she switched to weed, though…
Regardless of the definition, she really should just treat herself as an alcoholic because in the end, there isn’t a significant difference for her.
No, if you need hair-of-the-dog to function every day, you’re an alcoholic.
Some people use caffeine in the mornings. Some try acidic drinks like orange juice or grapefruit juice to function.
Maybe try a Virgin Mary or Virgin Mojito and try another interview. I’m guessing it’ll be much more pleasant for you and us.
It’s kind of hilarious too look back to Season 1 of RHONY and see her trying to pass herself off as the queen of class. She is a hot mess. And I feel bad for her kids who got caught up in this.
Yes. Definitely an alcoholic. Whenever you “need” something to help you function, it means that you’re addicted to it
Clearly she’s self medicating. I have friend who always, always drinks too much at every social gathering. In a rare sober moment she said she knows it’s a problem and that it’s because of her severe anxiety but she can’t seem to get herself to seek treatment for the anxiety. I’m trying to understand that but having a hard time with it.
Because if she sought treatment for the anxiety she knows she’ll have to get treatment for the drinking. They are partners in crime.
Yeah, that makes sense. It’s sad and none in our group of friends knows how to help.
There’s not much you can do for your friend — she has to decide she has a problem she can’t handle and get help for it.
You can make sure she never gets behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated, though. Always make sure she doesn’t drive herself to social events, physically take away the keys when she does. Don’t even wait for her to get drunk since you know she will. That way, while she is denying her problem, she is less likely to kill or maim herself plus a bunch of other people.
Monitor her to make sure she doesn’t shift to being drunk outside of the social events, and do what you can to make sure she doesn’t drive then also. If she is driving with children in the car, be especially vigilant. They can’t just take over the wheel when she’s not driving well. I remember being a non-driving young passenger in a car driven by a drunk friend of my mother after a babysitting job, and I thought I was going to die that night.
Buy her an alcohol lock for her steering wheel and get it installed. Check to make sure she hasn’t bypassed it. This is a public health issue and you have every right to interfere with this particular aspect of her life.
@jwoolman OR just don’t do any of that because you’re not this lady’s babysitter and you are not responsible for her actions. If your friend’s behavior makes you feel like you have to monitor her to stop her from killing people, just get a different friend that is a functioning human being.
Hear, hear Chaine. Also applies to partners, spouses, etc.
I can say with confidence that she doesn’t drink and drive. Our social circle is all within walking distance or a very short Uber ride away from each other. She seems to drive only during the day when necessary for work and kid errands and I honestly think she stays sober during the days. It’s evenings and social events that become problematic.
Hmmm…. If Luann was a POC who was drunk and disorderly, plus assaulted a police officer. I doubt she would be able to complain about being freezing cold and no blanket. She should be grateful that she is alive and able to moan about that to People magazine. Some people would not have had the chance. Just saying…..
Yes, this. If LuAnn were a POC — especially a male POC — she might not be alive today to tell her sob story. I’m not trying to be incendiary here, it’s simply true. I keep a list of names, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Philando Castile…the list goes on and on and on, and I have to update it all too often…Stephon Clark…go away, LuAnn. Please.
What did she do to her face? She looks so different.
She did something to her mouth because now she looks like a vampire about to bear its fangs.
Wasn’t the rumor at the time of her arrest that she was doing cocaine as well? That one died pretty quickly.
I dislike Andy Cohen so much- why doesn’t he force her into serious rehab? He could certainly hold her role in RHW over her head. But no- the possibility of more drunken behavior from her and the others is great for ratings. If MTV can step in-admittedly, not too often and usually much too late (thinking way back when with the cast member from the house show Hawaii year), then why can’t Andy?
He won’t force anyone into rehab because having a bunch of drunk ladies catfighting is the essence of the Real Housewives franchises. If there were no trashy trainwrecks for the audience to watch, there would be no shows.
It’s his misogyny outlet he hides behind to avoid being called out on it.
At your mature age, to be a raging drunk, finding an empty hotel room to screw in, with police called, and attacking police officers, honey, you are an alcoholic. You admit to drinking during the day after you get up. You are an alcoholic. And your one-month stay in rehab was only for your court case. Otherwise, you would have stayed longer and really committed to working on your problem.
To refuse to vacate the wrong hotel room when you’re caught banging some stranger – even after the guy actually leaves, assault a police officer, threaten to kill them and even break out in a run with hand cuffs on . . .
As long as it pays to be a drunken mess, she’ll be a drunken mess. Luann got kicked off the show for being boring so when she came back she amped up the partying to keep her job. Keeping that golden apple means more than sobriety to this bunch.
I believe she was demoted to “friend of” because she was hiding her relationship. I think her relationship with Tom was half for show and half desperation in being alone. I did not pity her because she knew from the start that he was cheating. She revealed her true self when she was jumping up and down with Sonja, shrieking “we got the yacht, we got the yacht”.
Always drinking responsibly and employing the “hair of the dog” do not comport.
She sounds like a dry drunk who is destined to fall off the wagon until she owns her sh!t.
“Everyone tells her she’s not.” Who is “everyone”? Because “everyone” is wrong. This woman is as alcoholic as they come, sorry.
“I was just drinking too much and alcohol just stopped working for me.”…
Every alcoholic that I know of or have heard of…have said the EXACT same thing…there comes a time when drinking stops getting you high…and just start getting you sick…and blackout drunk…I hope she gets help…cause LAWD KNOWS…she needs it.
As a daughter of a functional alcoholic, if you need alcohol to function you’re an alcoholic AND you’re in denial about it-full stop. It has you and it’s controlling your life.
1. It’s highly likely given the amount she drinks daily, the fact she felt like she needed a drink to function, and it caused dysfunction (relationships, legal system) in her life, that yes, it should be strongly considered, alcoholism is of good probability.
2. Good for her telling him to never do that again! Russell Simmons is an a**hole!!
Er… yes if you drink in the morning you are an alcoholic.
Not always. I was a third-shifter for years. A lot of us went home and had a drink. It was like our evening after work, but it’s amazing how many people look down on shift workers drinking at unusual times of the day.
In Luann’s case here, it doesn’t apply. She’s a shit-faced drunk. Drunks go to bars. Alcoholics go to meetings.
She needs new friends if they’re telling her she is not an alcoholic.
While alcoholism is a disease, it also a symptom of a far worse problem that needs proper treatment. 10 years sober, over here. I don’t buy into everything AA sells, but I go to meetings as a reminder of how badly life can go sideways and use them as a reflection of what went right, what went wrong and my part in all circumstances. Seems like the Countess could use some self-reflection. She does seem really alone and sad.
Congratulations and thanks for sharing here. So many of these comments are cruel. I hope someone cares enough about Luanne to walk beside her during this journey.
“I’ve always been somebody who drinks responsibly… Drinking has been my boyfriend for a long time. The relationship with the boyfriend of alcohol stopped working. It was time to give that up and be by myself.”
DING DING, you’re an alcoholic.
The single best book about the experience of alcoholism from a woman’s point of view is Caroline Knapp’s “Drinking, A Love Story” and she describes it exactly like a lover. At first, everything is wonderful, you’re better with it than you are alone, etc etc, but gradually it doesn’t “do that” for you anymore. You rely on it because you’ve come to depend on it. It’s a part of your life, maybe a pillar of your life. All your routines are built around it. And eventually, it betrays you.
Seriously, if you want to read a memoir of addiction, buy it. It’s brilliant.
Yes, it is brilliant. It’s a shame she died so soon after getting sober.