When you just can’t get your CD out in a reasonable amount of time, what’s the next best thing for a singer to do? Greeting cards, naturally. And it seems like the logical next step for Amy Winehouse, what with that perky, chirpy personality of hers. Why she’s been wasting her time with music is beyond me: Hallmark is calling!

Amy’s licensing some of her song lyrics to be used for greeting cards and wrapping paper. Because who doesn’t need a good “Rehab” themed gift wrap?

ARE you struggling to find an appropriate present for a pal in rehab? Did the card shop come up short when you were hunting for the perfect paper to wrap a pressie for an alcoholic chum?

Well, AMY WINEHOUSE and a team of chin-stroking bigwigs at her publishers have come up with a solution — a new range of cards and wrapping paper using her priceless lyrics.

The star has signed a deal to exploit her soul-baring songs while she lives it up in St Lucia, knocking back rum cocktails and paining over her new album.

Rehab wrapping paper will roll out first, followed by Back To Black and You Know I’m No Good greetings cards.

Just when I thought Clinton Cards had everything covered. A source said: “The bosses at EMI are keen to keep the cash cow churning out the readies.

“The first item in the Winehouse range will be wrapping paper with the chorus of Rehab emblazoned all over it.

“The Amy-branded cards are classy too. You Know I’m No Good is best for heartfelt apologies and Back To Black, with an appropriate wreath, will be the respectful response to a bereavement.”

[From the Sun]

I double checked, and this really isn’t a joke. I think they may want to play it safe and stay away from the grief cards. I doubt Amy Winehouse can offer much in the way of consolation. I’m sure she could offer you a stiff drink or tips on navigating a cemetery when plastered, but that’s probably about it.

The Sun makes the subtle suggestion that Amy’s dad Mitch had something to do with this deal. Frankly, I think they’re getting to the point where they need to make whatever money while they still can. If Amy doesn’t get a second album together – or at least kinda sorta barely get her act together – she’s just going to be an answer to a Trivia Pursuit question.