Michelle Rodriguez is claiming that she’s nervous about going to jail. Somehow I don’t buy it. M-Rod (I’m not sure if people call her that, but I call her that) claims to be a little nervous about her upcoming six-month stay in the slammer. With all those rumors floating around, I think M-Rod will be just fine. If nothing else, it’s some good female bonding. That’s what Martha Stewart made it sound like. Remember how she talked about doing yoga on the prison lawn and getting them to install organic yogurt machines? Or something like that? If Martha’s description has any truth to it, something tells me M-Rod will have the time of her life. I almost think they shouldn’t send her to jail – clearly it’s not the punishment for her that it would be for the rest of us. I mean the woman actually chose it over community service last time around. I think whichever one you choose, the judge should sentence you to the opposite.

“Michelle Rodriguez was recently sentenced to the slammer for 180 days for probation violation from prior a hit-and-run case. So how is the former Lost star, 29, holding up?

“‘A lot of spa time, a lot of reading, a lot of hiding,’ she told usmagazine.com at the grand opening of Diablo’s Cantina at the Monte Carlo Resort & Casino in Las Vegas October 13. ‘I go out with my friends and my pals.’

“So is she nervous? ‘I’m a woman, honey!’ Still, Rodriguez admitted, ‘I take life as it comes, and that’s it.’ She must start her sentence by December 24.”

[From Us Weekly]

Was that whole, “I’m a woman, honey!” supposed to mean “Of course I’m nervous” or “It’s going to be the time of my life!” I’m going with the latter, not only because I think it’s funnier, but because I’m pretty sure it’s true. M-Rod is going to jail for lying about doing one day of community service for a DUI charge. Instead of fessing up or rescheduling, the actress forged documents claiming she was in L.A. doing the work, when in fact she was in New York. That’s so stupid it almost makes you think she’d want to go to jail. But why? Why?!?

Last time M-Rod was in jail, she claimed to have a great time:

“It was so cool. I love people, and it was a primal crew. The only thing that keeps them going is fighting for salt and making dice out of soap. It was an amazing experience. I wouldn’t take it back for anything. I have a really good belief in destiny. It’s, like, if I’m gonna be killed in there, I’m gonna be killed in there. But people were cool. I represent the people, you know what I mean? If somebody picks on me, they’ll get what’s coming. I didn’t have to handle myself is what I’m saying. I had love in there. People got where I’m coming from. And Rodriguez spent her time behind bars creatively. She adds, “Drawing pictures for everybody on their shirts. Writing poetry. And singing show tunes with the girls… I’m not surprised they kicked me out early.”

[From Yeeeah!]

Is it weird that I kind of want to go now too? Between showtunes and organic yogurt, it sounds like a decent afternoon. Or six months. Whichever.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Michelle at the Diablo’s Cantina Grand Opening Celebration on Saturday. The joke writes itself, huh? Images thanks to PR Photos.