DJ AM’s death is not looking accidental; his gf says they were still together

People Magazine is quoting a source with advance details of DJ AM’s as-of-yet unreleased autopsy report. According to their source, AM had eight Oxycontin pills in his stomach and one in his mouth, suggesting that his death was an intentional overdose and not accidental as many people guessed. People usually doesn’t run stories without solid, verifiable information so it’s probably safe to assume that this is sadly true. AM was said to have been distraught over a breakup with his girlfriend of one year just two weeks before his death, which she denies. What’s more is that the state of AM’s apartment also suggests that his death was planned, as there were mirrors propped against the doors.

Authorities investigating the death of DJ AM have found that he had eight undigested OxyContin pills in his stomach and a ninth in his mouth, a law enforcement source tells PEOPLE.

The finding suggests that DJ AM – real name Adam Goldstein – swallowed the powerful painkillers quickly. “He wanted to die,” says the source, who says the suicide theory is supported by the pills and other evidence. “He was going unconscious when he took the last one. He didn’t even swallow it.”

In addition to the OxyContin, the source says, authorities who entered Goldstein’s New York apartment Aug. 28 found a Valentine’s Day card in the next room from Haley Wood. The pair had recently split. Dated Feb. 14, 2009, the card read, “Thank God you’re in my life. I love you.” Next to the card were six or seven photos of Wood and Goldstein.

“The card was lying on top of his laptops on the coffee table in the living room,” the source says.

Also, a mirror was propped against the outside of the apartment and another against the door of the bedroom, where Goldstein’s body was located in the bed, the source says. When the police, Goldstein’s manager and paramedics entered together, they pushed the first mirror to the side. When they entered the bedroom, the mirror propped against the door shattered. “They pushed it open and it broke,” the source says.

A crack pipe sat next to the body; when authorities moved the body, crack was found underneath, the source says. Goldstein, the source believes, “smoked a lot of crack, barricaded the doors and killed himself.”

[From People]

AM was sober for 11 and a half years before his death and was known for his tireless commitment to helping fellow addicts. He even had a reality show coming out on MTV, “Gone Too Far,” in which he staged interventions for addicts, working with their families and loved ones to help them kick drugs. AM came up with the idea for the show on his own and successfully pitched it to MTV.

According to AM’s rumored ex, model Hayley Wood, 22, they weren’t broken up as reported, and she was still with him at the time. In a statement to US Magazine, Wood speaks of AM in the present and says that the rumors that they were split are untrue:

But in an exclusive statement to, Wood says: “Any indication that this horribly tragic accident happened because of a rumored breakup is not only untrue but disgusting. We were very much together at the time of his passing, and I love him very much.”

[From US Weekly]

Whether they were broken up or not, this has got to be devastating to Hayley and everyone who loved AM. It’s just sad. The NY Post claims that AM was spiraling out of control and using again and that his sober sponsor and manager both knew about it. AM was said to have been suffering severe anxiety after surviving that small plane crash last year in which four people perished. He was on painkillers for the burns he suffered and was taking anti-anxiety medication to combat his fear of flying, something he needed to do frequently for his job. He was said to have promised his sponsor and manager that he would go to rehab over the weekend after he performed his weekly gig at the Palms Casino on Friday. He never made it. The Palms dimmed out all but the “A” and “M” lights on their building on Friday in honor of AM.

AM’s friends are holding a memorial that will take place in the format of an open 12 step meeting. People has the details from the invitations, which say that it will be structured like an NA or AA meeting, “The format of the evening will be in the style of an open 12-step meeting. Adam’s friends both from his life in recovery, as well as those from other areas of his life are welcome. We ask only that everyone adhere to the tradition of anonymity and let what they hear there, and who they see there, stay there.” It seems a fitting tribute to a man who helped so many people in life. There are doubtless so many broken-hearted people wishing they could have stopped him before it was too late.

Photos are of the memorial outside AM’s NY apartment and of him throwing out the first pitch for the Mets on 8/23/09. Credit:


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45 Responses to “DJ AM’s death is not looking accidental; his gf says they were still together”

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  1. viper says:

    Pft, he was probablly going use the show as a cover. I doubt he ever was off drugs. Nothing sad in this case, just your typical DUI.

  2. Sassy says:

    What a shame that he couldn’t control his inner demons. R.I.P

  3. Ursula says:

    This is so so so sad. RIP.

    I read somewhere that suicide can be a moment thing. Many people who deliberately take their lives would have had a change of heart six hours later. Since then whenever I hear of a suicide, I can’t help but think they are somewhere regretting their action.

  4. vale says:

    Oxycontin is a beast of a drug. It was prescribed to me post-surgery and one little teeny pill made me fly, made me feel really good, like I was being enveloped by a cloud, and it also gave me the most interesting and exciting dreams. When it came down to the last one I have to admit I was bummed, and I’m not an addict and never have been. It’s possible that it’s really easy to relapse when you take Oxycontin.
    Eight pills seems like suicide, to be completely honest. One is plenty to soothe pain.

  5. Rose says:

    Poor man, we all have our demons.
    Viper, you’re a really sad case if you lack an ounce of compassion for other people, I really pity you.

  6. Praise St. Angie! says:

    I can’t imagine ever feeling so hopeless that I’d consider taking my own life.

    I feel so bad for those people who have thoughts like that and apparently feel there is no one to talk to or no way to make themselves happy.

    My heart goes out to his friends and family members, I hope they can eventually find the peace that eluded DJ AM.

  7. Your Friend says:

    Viper…its DOA (dead on arrival) dummy…seriously man DUI is driving under th influence

  8. Diane says:

    Sad, he didn’t appear to have the ongoing therapeutic support he may well have needed.

  9. fizXgirl314 says:

    Well, I’m kind of with viper on this one.. except not to be too harsh about it because the guy is dead.. but I could have told you he was back on the crack just from that picture… it’s pretty obvious from his crack mouth…

    still sad, but it’s just stupid to commit suicide for a relationship and when you’re so young… he still had a really good chance at recovery especially since he’s rich and probably has a lot of support… not the typical crack addict on the streets…

  10. YoMomma says:

    God I hate the disease of addiction. It can hit anyone from the little old lady who lives down the street and has to “Dr. Shop” to get her pain meds to the celebrities who are so full of pain and anxiety they know no other way to live. AM sounded like a good man. I hope he reincarnates into something that will bring him peace.

  11. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “but I could have told you he was back on the crack just from that picture… it’s pretty obvious from his crack mouth… ”

    fizXgirl314, gotta ask…what is a “crack mouth”?

    (not being snotty, I’ve just never heard that term before…”meth face” I’ve heard, but not “crack mouth”.)

  12. fizXgirl314 says:

    actually i just made that up… but i know someone who is on heroin and his mouth gets very dry and crooked… JUST like in that picture… I guess i am making the leap here since i presume crack has a somewhat dehydrating effect… I will admit i don’t know this for sure but he’s definitely ON something because his lips are very dry and his bottom lip is protruding and crooked… I don’t know if this is something that happens to SOME people who are on mind altering substances…?

  13. boomchakaboom says:

    Oxycontin and crack in his system and on his person? Obviously the guy wasn’t clean. You don’t go from clean to that dirty in one fell swoop, usually. You ease into it thinking you can control it, which of course you can’t. After my surgery, during which I was hospitalized for 5 days and fed pain meds, I totally got sick of being f***ed up and out of it. I knew I had to have my sh** together when I went home so I requested Motrin when I was released, even with my doctor trying to give me something stronger. Yeah, it was painful to be without meds, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I’m not trying to hold myself up as “better than thou” on this and I realize it sounds that way, but I’m just saying sometimes pain is necessary in the healing process. Feeling the pain get a little less each day is a good way to know you’re actually getting better. Emotional pain and physical pain are similar that way. You have to feel the misery so you know when it’s leaving.

  14. GrnMtGirl says:

    My personal belief about this is that he was sober for all those years. I also believe that he was suffering terribly from survivor’s guilt. If anybody has read any of the things that he has said since the plane crash you could tell that he was feeling it. Not only that, but being burned as he was is painful. Between those two things it is not unbelievable that he was having a hard time “living.”

    This is all too sad and I hope that he has finally found the Peace that he was looking for.

    Good-bye Adam & RIP

  15. bros says:

    i think this superficial summed this up nicely: way to make the best of a second chance at life. fail.

  16. Praise St. Angie! says:

    ah, gotcha.

    that was the way that Chris Rock’s character’s lips looked in “New Jack City”.

    in DJ AM’s case, that look could just be because he’s mid-pitch…I mean, have you seen the faces some hitters and pitchers make when they’re playing? There’s one Met player who bares his teeth and bugs out his eyes as the pitch approaches him when he’s at bat!

  17. Prissa says:

    fizXgirl314 – although you have a point (I’ve seen crack mouth personally and on TV – Bobby Brown used to have it so bad he could barely talk) that is the most silliest thing I’ve heard “his lips are very dry and his bottom lip is protruding and crooked” Is it possible he’s making that face because he’s about to throw the baseball???

    Oh yeah, and I don’t know why but when I’ve taken Oxycontin all it did was make my body ITCH. I mean really itch! It was so weird, one momenent everything was fine and after I took the pill I was itching like crazy. Weird!

  18. bros says:

    me too prissa-I had those pills for wisdom teeth removal and couldnt stand them because of the itch. they made me so grumpy and mean and didnt do that much more than the prescription strength ibuprofen. I think those are evil pills.

  19. fizXgirl314 says:

    whatever dude, it wasn’t a scientific analysis… take it easy. He just looks very pale and haggard in the pic… and his mouth looks very pale and dry… and i wouldn’t be surprised if it were the crack… it’s the first thing that popped into my mind… some people just love to call someone out on every stupid thing… yeesh :/

  20. fizXgirl314 says:

    I dunno though I still contend that pic is a really good evidence that he was using… dark circles under his eyes, pale haggard look… dry mouth…dead soulless look in his eyes… he looks like death warmed over…

    But I guess none of that really matters anymore… so sad… bros summing up what someone else summed up is right on about this whole thing… such a waste :(

  21. gg says:

    fizX, you’re right. And with coke users it makes you fidget, and one way to fidget is to do it with your mouth.

  22. viper says:

    DUI= Druged Unfullfilled Idiot

    I dont have any compassion for anyone who does drugs when they don’t need them. You know whats a tragic death? A child diying of AIDS. So nobody think for one second I have no compassion, I just reserve mine for people who I think deserve it.

  23. Ggirl says:

    Surviving a plane crash and having to live with pain were probably HUGE factors in AM’s relapse. Not only did he have to deal with Survivor’s Guilt but Post Tramatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as well. These conditions would be difficult for any body to deal with but would be especially challenging for a person in recovery. When a person in recovery starts taking any type of narcotic for pain or any other controlled substance it is like opening the door to the demons of Hell. You pick up right where you left off when you were still using. Of course, AM’s burns and other injuries of the crash couldn’t be treated in any other way probably. My sister is a nurse and I can remember her saying that burn victims suffer the worst kind of pain. For those who want to be judgy about whether he was clean or not before the accident, well go on wasting your time. The bottom line is that this man had friends and family who loved him and now he is dead.

  24. Praise St. Angie! says:

    viper, I have to disagree with your characterization of AM. Though he may not have “needed them” in the traditional sense, he was clearly self-medicating due to mental pain.

    do you not have compassion for those so troubled and in such mental pain that they take their own lives?

    yes, a child dying of AIDS is horrible, but a person in such mental anguish that they feel the need to end their own life deserves a little bit of compassion, too.

  25. fizXgirl314 says:

    Wif, I can’t believe you would follow me to another thread and call me out on a post I made about a crackhead… are you seriously that tragic?

    Look dude, I don’t have anything against DJ AM or PM or afternoon or whoever…but he was a crack addict… whatya expect… what do you want me to say… ? Sorry you are taking this so personally?

    I think this is making it seem like I have a harsher opinion about this than I really do. I generally tend to defend the underdog, or people who I think are being unfairly criticized… However, I don’t feel that a drug addict falls under that category. I am sure that there are people who may have had experiences in their lives who would feel differently about that… and that’s fine… but that doesn’t make me nor viper unsympathetic… and it’s always tragic when anyone dies… I don’t think I’ve made a point to the contrary anywhere… even here.

  26. fizXgirl314 says:

    But I agree that you probably shouldn’t talk trash about people who are dead… Although I doubt his family is reading the blogs ATM…

    I also agree I should stop posting incessantly and do some work :/

  27. Mandy says:

    I’m glad his g/f finally spoke out (though I understood why it took her some time). A lot of the initial reports seemed to almost blame her, but the fact is that AM was simply not well: a history of depression and addiction, post-traumatic stress, survivor’s guilt, and probably still some physical pain. Maybe they were still together, maybe not, but a person in his mental state was as likely to be set off by a little fight as by a break-up.

  28. jaundicemachine says:

    I know a lot of people in my life who have OD’ed – accidently or otherwise.

    My deepest condolences to his loved ones. Suicides are incredibly difficult for the survivors and I wish them all kind thoughts and big hugs.

  29. elvisgreace says:

    viper, DUI = Driving Under the Influence

    or Drugged whatever the rest of your made up not really all that clever new acronym is. Missed a second g there. Point is, get your acronyms, or your spelling correct if you’re going to be an uncompassionate twit when someone, who by all accounts, WAS clean for a very long time, and DID help many other people with substance problems, unexpectedly passes and is mourned by those left behind as they struggle to understand what AM was struggling with.

  30. Onedayshtwillcomeurway says:

    Viper you seem to me to know very little about drugs, addiction and well anything really! I’m guessing you’re somewhere between 12 and 15 years old and your Dad’s brainwashed you with overly generalized comments your whole life. If you ever do want to open your eyes to the billions of shades of grey out there, i think you’ll find life way more interesting!(and they’ll probably get opened by something out of your control someday anyway) Seeing things in black and white makes Viper a dull(and stupid) boy.Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Goodnight DJ AM.

  31. Mommy says:

    What does having mirrors propped up have anything to do with anything?

  32. Nicole says:

    RIP Adam Goldstein. What a sad ending. My condolences to his family and friends.

    Unfortunately, many people from all over the world lose their battle with their demons. I hope his story will help at least one person make an effort to clean up and get sober.

  33. Nicole says:

    To Mommy: he probably jammed the door handles so nobody could get in without some force. At least that’s what I thought when reading the article.

  34. Annabelle says:

    I know that crackheads aren’t the most morally upright citizens, but read between the lines. Why would a healthy, secure, functioning, strong, happy person enter the world of drugs in the first place? They wouldn’t. People take drugs because they can’t cope & drugs are a way to escape. So, drug addicts need LOVE and ASSISTANCE, not judgement & neglect. Have compassion, there are people in the world who don’t have what it takes to deal with hardships in life and if everybody would quit being a b*tch and actually lend a hand, then we wouldn’t have things like this happen.

    DJ AM was OBVIOUSLY taking those drugs for pain relief relating to the PHYSICAL TRAUMA of the plane crash (EG the burns) and probably for the mental trauma too. I’ll bet he was told that he had to take them by his doctor. They were necessary for him to function, but being an addict, you can’t just start taking heavy drugs like that & be fine… Plus, under the influence of drugs like oxycontin, im sure you wouldn’t be making the best choices you’ve ever made. I would imagine a certain amount of brain fog would come with using Oxy for a while. RIP DJ AM.

  35. April says:

    I was wondering the same thing about the mirrors. Why wouldn’t he have just locked the doors then?

  36. greta says:

    Probably not many people would survive psychologically after a jet crash where his friends died. Add to that his lifestyle, his lack of children or a stable relationship where his existence mattered to someone. What did he have that would have outweighed the terrible physical and mental pain? Many people survive crashes, yes I know that. But Hollywood types are well known for their personality problems related to insecurities that lead to addictions. I say, rest in peace to this poor soul.

  37. sarah says:

    whoever is writing these dumbs posts should do some research on this strong man who suffered extreme hardships since childhood. he used his hardships to help others. addiction is a disease.

  38. fizXgirl314 says:

    Killing yourself and leaving your family and friends in grief is not the mark of a strong man. I know he’s dead, but he didn’t have to be I’m sorry to say.

  39. mags says:

    it is a tragedy and a loss, and a terrible reminder of the devastating power of addiction. If you’re not an addict you would never understand what it’s like. But you can try to have compassion for someone who’s suffering in way you cannot even imagine, to a point he couldn’t find his way out.
    And I wouldn’t call 11 years of sobriety a failure. Crack cocaine has about a 15% recovery rate.
    Good Luck in the next life, DJ AM

  40. jaundicemachine says:

    I don’t see it as a matter of addiction, so much as it is a lack of a will to live.

    Drugs were certainly a component, but he clearly struggled with deep self-loathing and depression.

    If he didn’t have access to pills, he’d have gotten a gun or used a belt. Smoking crack just gave him the courage to swallow his Dose.


  41. GatsbyGal says:

    She’s probably saying they were still together in order to keep people from claiming that she’s the reason he killed himself.

  42. DrM says:

    “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” JC

    Amazing…I can’t decide whether a lot you on here are really young, really stupid or just lack much experience of life…I’m guessing its a combination of all three.

    Life is NOT that black and white. It can get f*****g painful as well and people end up doing things that in another time and head space they would never even consider…and yes I mean normal, well rounded, job holding, tax paying, lots of friends and good family types of people. No one is immune to pain and despair. DJAM was 36 he would have had some in his life by now.

    I hope those of you talking such sh** about him are spared the kind of pain he was obviously in, but then again maybe not…you never know it just might teach you a thing or two about compassion and empathy…if you are lucky.

    RIP mate…

  43. monkey says:

    How did he prop the mirror outside his apartment though?? There must have been someone else involved to do that surely??