I’ve said a lot of mean things about Paris Hilton. When you work for an entertainment blog, you actually have to sign a contract saying that you’re willing to do that. But of all the mean things I’ve said about her (vapid, bigfoot, herpes haven, etc) I never thought I’d be writing about the heiress’s love of the raccoons. That’s right, Paris loves some ring-tailed goodness.

Paris Hilton can add another talent to her already expanding list of skills such as ‘model’, ‘actress’, ’singer’ and ‘entrepreneur’. It’s ‘raccoon expert’. And it’ll probably be the only legitimate skill she can claim. Paris claims that her raccoon expertise, like the majority of her ‘talents’, is all thanks to her family inheritance. This time thanks to the genes of her dad, Rick Hilton. The 26-year-old explained all by launching into story that was slightly disturbing to hear from a grown woman.

“My dad has a pet raccoon. He found it as a little baby and raised it. If you get to find them when they’re in the nest and still as babies they’ll open their eyes to you at first and they’ll think you’re their mother,” she enthused. But that’s not all, her raccoon knowledge was actually put to use during the making of her new film ‘Repo, A Genetic Opera’, which may be even worse than watching an entire series of ‘The Simple Life’ and about as convincing as her performance in ‘One Night in Paris.’ Director, Darren Lynn Bousman explained: “We had a family of raccoons on the set. We came back from lunch and they were sitting on chairs and on the actual monitors.” And probably doing a better job than the entire cast. “I wanted to hug them but Paris pointed out they had rabies, so I ran away.”

[From Holy Moly]

Paris is known for her irresponsible love of animals. I say irresponsible because she buys and discards them the way you or I might purchase a video game. She has a Kinkajou named Baby Luv, 2 ferrets (no not Brandon Davis, a real ferret), a self-described “big ass cat,” a chinchilla, and more dogs and cats than I can shake a litter box at. There’s even a website called “Tell Paris No!” (like you’d say to a bad dog, I’m assuming) who’s mission is to dissuade the heiress from collecting more exotic animals that she can’t care for. Something tells me we have Rick Hilton to thank for all of this. Just like Paris herself. Thanks, Rick. What other atrocities are you going to inflict on us?

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s a video of 2 of Paris’s dogs escaping from her menagerie. They had to be rescued by TMZ photographers. Oh indignity of indignities!