'09
Here’s a little Gwyneth Paltrow to make your day so much better! Gwyneth, and her Goop newsletter, have returned from vacation. Thank God. It seems that Gwyneth is in very good spirits after returning from her bra-flashing trip to her favorite country, Spain. Her good spirits have allowed her to smile, a real smile, not just a smug, holier-than-Goop smirk. How do I know Goop is smiling? She’s deigned to make us another cooking video! Hurray!
The Goop newsletter this week is a “Make”. And it’s a good “make” too, it’s not just “teaching peasants how to MAKE a sandwich”. This time there’s a hint of soy sauce with our weekly Goop. This is because Goop has gone Asian! Gwyneth’s “Make” is Bibimbop (which most Western sources spell “Bibimbap”), Burdock & Carrot Kinpira and Spicy Miso Sauce. Here’s Goop’s descriptions of the food:
Bibimbop, which roughly translates to “mix it up,” is essentially a rice bowl that you can adorn with whatever toppings you like. It’s a great vehicle for leftovers—a veritable ‘kitchen sink’ kind-of meal. The key is the Spicy Miso Sauce, which ties all the various parts together.
Kinpira refers to a Japanese cooking style of braising vegetables, typically root vegetables, and often a combination of carrot and burdock. Burdock is a tenacious root that’s especially good for your liver and blood. It’s often available in farmers’ markets in the fall. If you can’t find burdock, any combination of hearty vegetables will work—try carrots, parsnips and onions, or even carrots and beets.
Spicy Miso Sauce -This versatile sauce is also great with roasted duck or chicken, or even spread on top of a salmon or tuna burger.
[From Goop]
Of course, Gwyneth has to describe in detail very explicit instructions on how to cook everything. I swear, one day she’s going to write, “Turn dial on stove top to 400 degrees. Resist urge to beat self in head with spatula. Count to ten slowly. Pour quarter cup vegetable oil.”
Her “very good friend” Lee Gross is in the video with her (which has really sh-tty, Goopy sound quality), and he seems to bring out the best in her. At least it gives her someone to talk to. I giggled when Gwyneth is trying to pronounce “Bibimbop” - she seems really cute at that moment. She should always do videos for Goop newsletters, and she should invite more of her “very special friends” in - she’s better when she has someone to play off of, it humanizes her. Of course, you still have to hear her snotty voice when she gives her little asides. But it’s more subdued. Oh, and I loved the cooking, by the way! Asian Goop is awesome.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Food, Gwyneth Paltrow
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16 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow cooks the hell out of some Asian Goop”
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oh wow, I can’t believe she’s cooking peasant food… literally! this is the stuff koreans peasants would put together out of leftovers… somehow she’s going to put an elitist twist to it or goop it up isn’t she?
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I’m Korean. I got my grandmother over to watch this on the computer, and she was laughing her ass off when I told her they were making bibimbop.
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haha I knew it! more like pretentious-bap… Actually, that guy is more pretentious that Goopy is. He says he likes his bibimbap with a little texture and still proceeds to cut the vegetable HAIR THIN… I’ve never had bibimbap with such thing cut veggies, nor does it every have any “kempyra” *eyeroll*… and Nori?!?! give me a break, it’s dried seaweed you ass… oh and we must use brown rice for health reasons because what the peasants used can’t be good enough hehe… *eyeroll*
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HA! My mother is here now watching it! Nothing like Asian mother disapproval.
BTW, they’re pronouncing it wrong.
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Glad I’m not the only one that giggled a little at the snobbery infused cooking lessons for peasant food, too. The bibimbap that I pick up at a local Korean place may not be Goop approved, but it looks a lot yummier than Gwyneth and Lee’s concoction.
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I think she is so cute. Not at all high and mighty like so many others say, rather a fitting product of her environment. She seems fun. It’d be fun to cook with her and talk about everything, from trips to food to gossip.
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I like Gwyneth. She is pretty, she is nice, she looks like a caring responsible mother and she tries to learn something new every day that makes her a more complete person.
Good for her and for GOOP!
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This woman just doesn’t get how dumb and pretentious she comes off. I’m afraid she might be emotionally autistic.
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her hair looks cute here. the rest of her is predictably goopy.
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Please STOP WRITING ABOUT HER!! You are just giving her more attention. Ignore it and maybe it will go away.
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Yikes. I just read a better recipe for the same thing in a Madhur Jaffrey cookbook.
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And btw, I LOVE this dish from my local Korean restaurant. I also really love mandu.
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I just read a better dish on sickitten.com
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This recipe for bibimbap is not only WRONG WRONG WRONG, but it’s actually offensive. Substituting Japanese-style vegetable and miso for Korean vegetable and kochujang (Korean pepper paste) is just a train wreck on so many levels.
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Goop cooking frequently has been associated with Russian army cuisine.
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