Many times I have written articles about pregnant celebrities and mentioned how absolutely terrified I am of the concept of giving birth. I mean I want to have kids more than anything in the world, but I really wish I could pick them up at the local market, instead of growing them from scratch. Well it turns out all of my fears have been diminished. Why? Because not-very-well-respected-anymore singer Joss Stone wants to be a midwife. And what rational person wouldn’t want a barefoot-in-public, purple-hair-sporting quasi-soul-singer pulling a baby out of you? That’s right, no one.

Joss sat down for an intimate question and answer with the Sydney Morning Herald, and talked about her plans for the future and her struggles as an artist.

At midnight, sitting in a Swiss hotel room, the rest of her life weighs comfortably on the conversation. “I really don’t plan on dying and saying I was just a singer,” says Joss Stone, thinking about her future. “I want to do many different things. I’m really excited to see what’s going to happen in the next couple of years because it’s not going to be the same.”

“I would actually like to go back to school, which is funny because I really hated school with a passion. I’d like to go back and do some degrees and I want to be a midwife, actually. I think that would take me about three years.”

[From the Sydney Morning Herald]

Well I feel relieved. I love how almost all celebrities say they’re going to do this or that other thing because they know what they’re doing isn’t helping people and they want to enrich their lives and all that stuff. How often does it come to fruition? I know there’s a couple famous people out there that have tried their hands at other professions, but how many have done so successfully? Can anyone think of a well respected actor/cardiothoracic surgeon? A brilliant model/trial lawyer? An esteemed former-teen-prodigy soul singer/midwife? It’s just too weird. I mean it’s cute for a movie of the week, but you don’t want someone like that between your legs.

Incidentally, spending a bit too much time between her producers’ legs is exactly how Joss Stone got her current reputation/lost all credibility as an artist.