I’m not sure if this is awful or oddly sensible. According to columnist Bill Zwecker of the Chicago Sun-Times, the recent BFF reunion between Paris Hilton and Britney Spears wasn’t all about reliving their crotch-flashing days of yesteryear. Apparently Paris actually got down to business and told Britney what’s what. Yeah I know you’re sitting there thinking either that’s bull and/or who the hell is Paris Hilton to give anyone advice? Both fair. But I will point out that Britney seems completely incapable of taking advice from anyone respectable, be they judges, childcare professionals, her parents, mental health experts… it’s a really long list, you get the point. Maybe Britney needs someone who’s on her level… or down at her level… to get through to her. Really, how much worse could Paris possible make things at this point?

A little birdie who was in the same room as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears filled me in on an intriguing chat the hotel princess and pop star had in Los Angeles Saturday, before those paparazzi flashbulbs created an explosion of light at Spears’ 26th birthday celebration. It may seem funny, famed party girl Hilton giving advice to the obviously troubled entertainer, but that’s exactly what happened.

As Spears sipped a couple of apple martinis (while Hilton downed apple juice), the former ‘’star” of her own sex video reportedly handed out some sage suggestions, indicating she may have learned from her mistakes. Among the points Hilton made: Spears needs to cut back on her social life (something the singer supposedly dismissed out of hand); she should revamp her entire management team, and, according to Hilton, ”only hire the very top agents, publicists, managers and assistants money can buy.”

[From the Chicago Sun-Times]

Paris also told Britney that she can’t listen to her friends, at least in terms of her career. Even though they were in the same room, Paris told Brit “You have to listen to people who truly are experts in entertainment. You can’t be listening to friends, no matter how good or loyal they are, to tell you how to run your career.” I’m guessing that the “little birdie” who passed on the conversation didn’t do so verbatim. I tried reading those two sentences to myself in Paris’s flat affect, and it still sounded far too eloquent. But if Paris said anything along those lines, good for her. And you know that when Paris Hilton is looking smart and mature compared to you, your life is really in the gutter. Aside from a near-death experience, I can’t imagine what else could possibly jar Britney out of her grand delusion.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Paris and Britney at a party hosted by Sharon Stone at the Scandinavian Style Mansion on Britney’s birthday. Incidentally, Brit was also accused of stealing four white coats from designer Katja Berglund at the party. Not sure how that plays into Paris’ plan. Header image thank to Splash Photos. Bottom photo thanks to PR Photos.