Sometimes, I tell myself, “Self, you should really stop picking on Heather Mills. I mean, at this point it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.” But then Heather does something else ridiculous, and I just can’t help myself. During day two of the McCartney-Mills divorce trial, Heather showed up in court with an entourage, including her sister, another friend, her makeup artist and her personal trainer. Heather is representing herself in the divorce and so far, she is behaving like a buffoon. Wait–I’m going to try to be nice and say that maybe she didn’t realize most lawyers don’t take breaks to workout or have their makeup done in the middle of a trial.

Vain Heather arrived at court yesterday — flanked by a posse of sidekicks, including her personal trainer and MAKE-UP artist.

The ex-model, dubbed Mucca over her porn past, also brought her sister Fiona, a female pal, a minder, a chauffeur — and a lone solicitor to advise on legal protocol as she represents herself in court.

Heather, pleading her own case after she was dumped by her lawyers, aims to wring up to £100million out of former Beatle Macca, who is said to have an £825million fortune.

[From The Sun]

100 million? She must be smoking Amy Winehouse’s old stash. Court witnesses say that Mills started her case by showing lovey-dovey photos of Paul and her together, to establish that she was the singer’s “rock,” and therefore deserved a cut of his fortune. Rock? Maybe….the rock tied around Paul’s NECK. But she didn’t stop there: Mills also likened herself to Princess Diana in open court.

It is understood she also screened a video likening herself to Princess Diana — claiming she was hounded by paparazzi and needed 24-hour security to avoid the same fate.

Oh, if only. That may be true, she is hounded by paparazzi– but what does it have to do with her demand for 100 million? She brought that on herself by acting like an insufferable bitch.

Paul, for his part, seemed “relaxed” and smiled as he entered the courtroom with his lawyer. And no, he didn’t have a makeup artist, personal trainer, spiritual adviser or anyone else with him. However, when Heather saw her ex, she immediately bolted for the bathroom– the first of four bathroom breaks she took during the court session. No word on whether the makeup artist went with her.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney are shown outside of court on Monday, thanks to Splash News.