When I first read this story, I thought it was about Hugh Grant attacking someone with cake, and I thought to myself, “How fey, how English, how Hugh!” But it turns out, Hugh was the one who attacked by a rogue slice of chocolate cake. Not so rogue, as it was Hugh’s former PR man Matthew Freud who did the cake throwing/smearing. Hugh and Matthew have apparently been fighting for years, and when Hugh called Matthew some name (my guess: wanker, tosser, or c-cksucker), Freud attacked Hugh with a slice of cake. Then nothing happened for a few minutes, and then Hugh hauled off and punched Matthew. Wow! I didn’t know Hugh was so ballsy. But I should expected it after the baked bean incident, and that time he kicked a paparazzo in the nads:

When two grown men want to settle their differences, it sometimes comes to blows. Matthew Freud apparently prefers a big slice of chocolate of cake. Which is how Hugh Grant ended up with chocolate and crumbs smeared all over his impeccable white shirt at a society party.

The disagreement didn’t stop there. Grant, 49, is alleged to have responded by punching Freud’s cheek, leaving the PR guru wearing sunglasses the next day. But Freud, in turn, got his own revenge, somehow tracking down a picture of Grant’s stained shirt and emailing it to friends. Grant ended up changing out of his shirt and was given another one to wear by nightclub staff.

The extraordinary spat happened at socialite Heather Kerzner’s 41st birthday party at Annabel’s nightclub in London on Wednesday night. The wife of casino billionaire Sol Kerzner was holding a joint celebration with Topshop owner Sir Philip Green, Sir Michael Caine, shoe designer Patrick Cox and Tracey Emin’s boyfriend Scott Douglas.

According to a fellow guest, the flareup took place after a female guest asked Grant if he would like to meet Freud. In fact, the two men have known each other for more than 20 years. Freud, 46, represented Grant way back in the days when he found stardom in Four Weddings and a Funeral and during the scandal over his visit to a prostitute in the U.S. in 1995. But they appear to have fallen out in the intervening years.

Grant apparently replied that he had no desire to speak to Freud and allegedly used an expletive to describe him. Freud, who was standing nearby and heard the alleged insult, then smeared chocolate cake down Grant’s shirt.

‘I saw a lot of white shirt and before I could stop myself it was all brown,’ he told friends afterwards.

There was a brief lull before Grant allegedly threw a punch.

In the subsequent melee, a glass of wine was also thrown – which ended up over London nightclub owner Johnny Gold. As guests watched the pair in astonishment, Freud, who had attended the party with wife Elisabeth Murdoch, decided to make a dignified exit.

Grant, though, was not quite ready to call it a night. He changed into a clean shirt supplied by the nightclub and chatted to guests, including his former girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley. He told Mrs Kerzner he hoped his disagreement had not ruined her evening. One guest said: ‘He was a total gentleman, a 21st century David Niven.’ Ever the PR man though, Freud was not to be outdone. In the aftermath, he secured a photograph of Grant’s stained shirt and then emailed it to friends.

Referring to Miss Hurley’s famous appearance in a Versace ‘safety pin’ dress at the Four Weddings premiere, he added the message: ‘That dress becomes that shirt.’

Freud told friends: ‘I’m a pacifist, I only throw cakes, he’s a scrapper. There were no heroes last night.’

According to a friend of the PR man, the pair fell out some years ago over a male friend of Freud’s.

‘Matthew knew Grant when all his friends called him “Hughie”, no one calls Hugh that these days,’ the friend said.

Freud represented Grant up until his relationship with heiress Jemima Khan ended. ‘Then came the bust-up over the friend and that was the end of their relationship.’

[From The Daily Mail]

I would like to think that the two men were fighting over the lovely lass known as Jemima Khan, but I doubt it. Hugh and Jemima dated off and on for years, but I have no idea about any connection she would have to Freud. Most likely the fight was just about boy sh-t. Which basically means that instead of rubbing cake all over their glistening, writhing bodies, they should have just whipped out their junk and compared sizes like real men.

Hugh Grant in Abu Dhabi on March 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.