It was absolutely devastating when I lost My Girl last year. When she was still getting treatment at the vet, but the prognosis was clear, I was sobbing to my mother: “I just can’t imagine a world without My Girl in it.” And this ended up happening days ahead of what I called our anniversary, her adoption day. I guess I was inspired by my father, who the year before passed away on his actual birthday, because I decided to make that final, awful appointment for My Girl on our anniversary. It was a Sunday, and I went into the office the next day partly because I didn’t want to be home and feel My Girl’s absence more than I had to. But it was also partly because I have to carefully map out my Paid Time Off (PTO) days for the year, and I didn’t have any in the budget for grieving my pup. Well, a fellow dog parent has barked up spirited conversation online by saying that workers should get compassionate time off for pet deaths. What do we think, paws up or down to this idea?
In an ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’ thread on the community forum Mumsnet, a person wrote that all dog owners should be entitled to time off work when their dog dies to recover from the loss.
“I just think that I love my dog more than most humans, and when it is her time to leave, I will be a distraught mess for a while,” the person wrote.
They urged that “there should be a system in place” in workplaces for dog owners that allows them to have “some form of compassionate leave” following a pet’s death.
“I don’t think work will want a sobbing mess in front of customers,” the person added.
Some readers in the comments section agreed that dog owners should be afforded time off to grieve their pet.
“We did offer a couple of paid days if an employee requested time off,” an employer and dog owner said. “Often it can be traumatic, and only fellow dog owners really get it.”
“I wouldn’t expect time off,” a second user said. “But I’ve been lucky enough to work for caring employers who understood and offered me a couple of days to find an even keel again.”
Another reader suggested that the person should take annual or sick leave if the death was “impacting your mental health sufficiently that you can’t work.”
Other readers believed that introducing such a benefit in the workplace wouldn’t be a good idea.
“The problem is, where do you draw the line? A much-loved elderly dog? A 2-year-old cat? A 6-month-old hamster … a fish?” one person wrote.
“I would imagine a lot of companies could use their discretion if an employee is genuinely struggling over the death of a much-loved pet,” they continued. “But no, I don’t think it should ever be written into policy as anyone could start making up endless pets to get time off.”
I invoked my PTO budgeting earlier, here’s a little more backstory: every January the partners where I work distribute a chart listing all the holidays the office will be closed, and outlining that us worker bees get two personal and six sick days for the year, while the particular number of allotted vacation days depends on “years of service” to the company. So every January I make my humble suggestion/request/plea to the partners that the language be changed from “years of service” to “years of employment” — I see it as a win-win: it’s 100% FREE to the company and lets us workers feel more like we’re part of the company instead of in indentured servitude. But every year my request is denied, followed by “thank you for your service.” Yet will I ever stop asking? NEVAH!
Anyway, this PTO chart also stipulates that time off for bereavement counts as personal days, of which, again, we’re each allotted two (regardless of years of service), and if we need more time then it comes out of our vacation days. So when I read this article, I had to burst into laughter as I imagined the utter futility of making such an impassioned argument to the bosses at my company. That being said, when I was at work the day after sending My Girl off on the rainbow bridge, my boss did send me home early — though it wasn’t until the late afternoon when he stumbled upon me crying quietly. He asked why I didn’t take a personal day, but what was I gonna say? “Because you don’t give us enough for the year!” But there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting at my desk the next morning, with a card that said “Sorry for your loss.”
So here are my concluding thoughts: y’all know I love Love LOVE dogs! But I’m inclined to agree with the commenters who foresee a variety of problems. However, I invite employers to be more gracious with time for bereavement overall.
Photos credit: Kismet and Gundula Vogel, D A 28, Rufina Rusakova on Pexels
Absolutely compassionate time off for the loss of a pet. One or two days I would say.
My boss took a week off when his cat died.
Yep. That will be me when something happens to my cat Dexter.
I really don’t know what I’m gonna do when that time comes. My baby is starting to slow down but still spicy. I am dreading that time. The good news is that I have a job where I have leave banked so I don’t have to provide justification. It sucks all the way around.
I think just more generous PTO policies in general could cover this. My work doesn’t offer bereavement leave for any reason AFAIK but we do have pretty generous leave policies in place (sick and annual are separate.) I was teleworking full time when both of my dogs passed so I didn’t take leave, just mourned at my house, but if I had had to go into the office I probably would have taken a day or two of leave.
If a company offers bereavement or compassionate leave then I dont see why they couldn’t include a few days for pets but maybe with a max per year – 2 or 3 a year or something. I can see it being very easy to abuse but there could be a middle road.
Yep, this! Instead of bereavement policies and other leave policies that only cover certain types of relationships — perhaps inadvertently prioritizing some employees over others when it comes to leave and other benefits, more generous and more flexible leave policies that allow employees to roll over leave would cover compassionate leave for a variety of circumstances.
If the goal is to combine an attractive benefit package with maximizing employee productivity, flexibility is the way to go. There’s something really awful about having to justify the need for compassionate leave — especially for those who may not have traditional nuclear families.
Watching my senior boy, who i have had since 2012 slowly age, he has a collapsing trachea
The vet mentioned surgery, i was like- the boy is 14-16 years old, i refuse to do that to him. I refuse to make the time he has left miserable with surgery and recovery from surgery.
He is not my first dog, so i know i’ll live through it, but damn.
And my work knows i will not be in for a few days when it happens.
My bosses are dog people too.
Wouldn’t give up having and loving dogs for anything, not even the pain that comes at the end.
I agree so, so strongly. The losses of my animal friends have gutted me as much as (and, in some cases, more than) the losses of humans in my life. Compassion and support for all types of losses should be more baked in to our society and workplaces.
There should just be personal days- and a decent number. Why does anyone need to justify why they need the days off? It isn’t anyone’s business really.
No one should have to pretend to be sick or their parent died, “personal issue” should cover it.
Absolutely. When my beloved sociopathic jerk of a cat Spike died this past August at the age of 17, I was shattered for days. I used my personal time (as I am lucky enough to have that) to give myself time to grieve. I’m still not completely over it, even with two kittens.
I lost my little man in 2023 (I was at work and hubby let him out and he drowned in the pond out front). I was absolutely devastated, since time off was not an option I went back to work the next day. It totally affected my attitude…I would cry, get really angry, and snap at coworkers and management. This is something that could be useful
I think all personal leave, including maternity leave/ paternity leave, should fall under ‘big shit’ time off. I’ve covered a ton of maternity leave, but I can’t get covered to adopt a rescue and acclimate the animal? Nah.