Jesse James was offered $500,000 to pose nude for Playgirl

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It just keeps getting worse. Life & Style is reporting that Playgirl is offering Jesse James $500,000 just to get a peek at his Vanilla Gorilla. Because that’s just he, and we, need, right? Because seeing some JJ supremacist wang will make everybody feel better?

Jesse James was recently dubbed the “Vanilla Gorilla” by his mistress Michelle “Bombshell” McGee because of the supposed size of his package. Now Playgirl magazine wants to see the proof! Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio tells Life & Style exclusively that the magazine has extended an offer of $500,000 to Jesse’s team if Jesse agrees to pose nude for Playgirl.

“We’d want him to pose in a Coney Island freak show setting. It would be a whole circus-themed shoot, complete with tattooed women and sword swallowers!” Nardicio tells Life & Style. Playgirl is already shooting Make Me a Supermodel star Ronnie Kroell for the June issue.

The magazine recently extended an offer to Jon Gosselin to pose nude as well — but for only $20,000. “His star is extinguishing, and he’s not very [well endowed].” Nardicio told Life & Style at the time. It looks like this is a case where bigger really is better!

[From Life & Style]

To me, the Jon Gosselin offer kind of makes more sense, just because that’s the true “circus freak” stuff (because he’s hung like a 10 year old or whatever). But who wants to see JJ’s wang these days? I already know way too much about his sex life, I don’t want to see the Hitler Stick.

There are a ton of other stories about Jesse, most of which are coming out in bits and pieces from this week’s tabloids. I’m just going to do the basic rundown, most of this comes from Jezebel’s Tabloid Round-Up, OK! Magazine and Radar:

* Apparently, every time Sandra Bullock brought up having children, Jesse talked her out of it, according to Life & Style. “As her biological clock continued to tick, she embraced her maternal side by becoming a stepmom to Jesse’s three kids.”

*Also from L&S and OK! Magazine: Sandra has a prenup! One version has a “guarantee” that she can have access to Sunny should Sandra and Jesse divorce. Which sounds like bullsh-t to me, because who puts custodial issues of stepchildren into a prenuptial agreement? And how do you enforce it? OK says that Sandra & Jesse kept all of their money separate: “She has her money and he has his. They both wanted it that way.” Sandra has “never taken a dime” from Jesse and she kept her Hollywood Hills home, which she bought before they were married.

* Jesse’s second ex-wife Janine Lindemulder “says he paid people close to her to get her computer passwords and erased old emails he’d sent to her that said stuff like, ‘I don’t want Sunny to have my last name, find her a new daddy.’”

*From Us Weekly via Jezebel: “Jesse James would regularly post internet ads looking for “biker models.” He would check out the photos and invite ladies to the office, and a source says he had a type: hot, tattooed biker chicks with big boobs.” Star confirms with other “former employees” of Jesse’s: “Sexy, big-busted tattooed women were regularly escorted to his office. He was also always looking for girls on MySpace.”

*Star Magazine via Jezebel: “Apparently Sandra was trying to get pregnant before she found out that Jesse was cheating, and during their five-year marriage, she had two miscarriages. One was right after their wedding; the other was in 2008.”

*Star via Jezebel: “In 2005, he had to cut short a trip to Vermont with Sandra to fly to LA and pay $70,000 to a former employee who was threatening to go public with their affair. Another employee threatened to file a sexual harassment suit, but he paid her off, too.” TMZ is reporting the amount for which he settled a 2007 suit was $725,000.

*Bombshell McGee is still trying to sell her story for even more cash. Sources tell Radar that she‘s done is all for “a better life for my family.”

UGGGHHH.

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23 Responses to “Jesse James was offered $500,000 to pose nude for Playgirl”

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  1. lucy2 says:

    Like anyone would want to see that.

  2. nAynAy says:

    I think everybody has seen it already. Remember, he is the Vanilla Gorilla. Ugh! Just plain gross. He is good looking, but now because of everything I’ve heard about him, this makes him pure ugly! There are definitely more whores out there, you better believe it! I wouldn’t be surprised if his number of whores didn’t surpass Tiger’s.

  3. lastwordlinda says:

    Why is that always the next step. Get famous (somehow) and pose nude. I love looking at a naked man as much as any heterosexual woman, but good lord! Let’s put some mystery back into it. The reality is never as good as the fantasy. Especially with men. Who wants to look at a limp weiner and chicken skin stretched over what looks like a goiter. Even porn is better. At least it’s hard.

  4. K-MAC says:

    I used to think that he was such a handsome man and now he looks slimy to me. He is simply disgusting and Sandra Bullock needs to divorce him and run away fast (hopefully she is STD free—what a loser he is!)

  5. Stephie says:

    How infuriating! How could she not know all this was going on? Wow. Poor Sandra. And all the media and all the attention has got to be painful. Yet like a traffic accident, I can’t not look. Mainly waiting for some news about Sandra herself. Something. Anything. Wish her rep would make a statement for her.

    How (hysterically) insulting to Jon Gosselin, only 20k for him and his small fry but 500k for Jesse. That’s too funny.

  6. Gwen says:

    Seeing how big a dick he is, I reckon it’s a good thing they never had a child, but it just sounds more and more horrible. Poor Sandy :(

  7. Praise St. Angie! says:

    lastwordlinda, I’m really glad I didn’t have a mouthful of coffee when I read your post.

    “chicken skin stretched over what looks like a goiter”

    I’ve never heard a man’s balls described like that, but it was quite apt! and hilarious!

  8. Rianna says:

    I don’t know… I might go online and have a look to see what this Vanilla Gorilla hype is all about.
    You might say that you won’t but you will. It’s like a car wreck… you can’t help but be curious.

  9. Bonfire Beach says:

    OMG lastwordlinda – freakin’ hilarious! I can’t stop laughing! And Hitler Stick is another good one. HAHAHAHA!

    He’s a douche and he makes me so mad. I really thought their marriage was real.

  10. Lee says:

    I can’t believe he’s only 40 – he looks at least 10 years older. And those weird piggy eyes are really an appropriate window into who he is inside.

  11. Erin says:

    Gross. That kind of seems like it’s rewarding him for his behavior. But I’d expect nothing less from a magazine owned by Hugh Hefner.

  12. ~M. says:

    I better watch a paint dry than see his bits.

  13. CeeCee12 says:

    He is ugly to me. Inside and out. I don’t need nor want to see his diseased addled vanilla gorilla.

    So I guess he’s a sex addict now too. I am sure rehab is the next thing on his to do list.

    BTW I don’t believe a word his 2nd wife says. She is a scumbag too.

  14. bellaluna says:

    Slutbomb did not coin the nickname Vanilla Gorilla. Jesse has been called that for years on Monster Garage.

  15. Trustiva says:

    “I don’t want to see the Hitler Stick.”

    My German self is ROFLing about that! Go girls on CB!

  16. christina says:

    If this “news” is true I seriously doubt that Sandra DIDN’T have a clue about it

  17. operaghost says:

    I’m so glad I read this this morning. I’m still giggling. Thank you, Kaiser and lastwordlinda!

  18. snowball says:

    This sounds more like something Larry Flynt would come up with.

    Eh, I’ve seen big before. I don’t need to see his nasty, sloppy thing. Although I do wonder if the next thing we’ll hear about is that it’s pierced all over the place.

    Maybe through the chicken skin. :D

  19. Rachel says:

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  20. skibunny says:

    lastwordlinda: that was so funny! I’m still laughing!

  21. AHT says:

    I work with animals and the funny thing is Gorillas have a 1.5 inch penis……….

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