Lindsay Lohan may have checked out of rehab in Utah last Friday, but it was probably not early enough for the horny addicts who were fighting over who would have rights to push her up against the porcelain in the bathroom that night. Two guys got into a fistfight over her while she sat back and watched, giggling. She denied any involvement, but her fellow patients accused her of setting the guys up for it:

[Lindsay Lohan] triggered a nasty fistfight between two raging bulls at Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah! Trouble began brewing, sources say, when Naughty Hottie got hot ‘n heavy with a patient. But then she abruptly cooled and started aiming heat rays at another starstruck sucka! “Everyone saw the showdown coming when Guy No. 1 started warning Guy No. 2 to stop horning in,” said an insider. Lindsay just sat back innocently, watching the jealousy build - and the guys finally started beating the hell out of each other.” Sources say Mean Grrl didn’t lift a finger to stop the slugfest - and actually giggled as the horndogs fought for her favors! After staffers broke up the brawl, Lindsay’s therapy group confronted her - say she’d cynically set the two guys up. But Lindsay indignantly denied having a damn thing to do with causing the fight.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker’s column, October 15, 2007]

And in case you were wondering why no pictures came out of Lohan out at the Hollywood nightspots this weekend, the fact is that she has decided to remain in Utah for the time being for “outpatient treatment” until she needs to leave to film that tango movie, Dare to Love Me.

Could it be that the lessons of Bill W cracked through her tough shell of narcissistic recklessness? It’s doubtful, but we’ll see. And you know we’re all waiting for her to fuck up royally or admit that she was full of shit all her life up to this point. My money is on the fucking up, because how can she continue to be such an arrogant bitch but remain sober? Don’t those kind of people think they’re able to do whatever the hell they want?

Lohan is shown in the header image at Coachella on 4/29/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

We’ve all had those fights where we say things we shouldn’t. Harsh words are exchanged, things you never meant yelled… or worse, things you meant, but never meant to say yelled. It’s very traumatic, and a challenging part of the human condition. Thank goodness that Kate Moss and Sienna Miller know exactly where we’re coming from. The two got into a major fight over a guy… and style. No that’s not a misprint. They fought about style, all at a mutual friend’s wedding reception.

“NO wedding is complete without a good old-fashioned bust-up. And KATE MOSS and SIENNA MILLER kept the tradition alive at a mutual pal’s reception with a foul-mouthed catfight — over RHYS IFANS. I bet the Welsh scarecrow never thought he’d find himself at the centre of a jealous tug of war between two of Britain’s best looking women. Kate has been pals with Rhys for years and has had the hump since Sienna pulled him — because he’s stopped getting hammered with the model.

“Sienna arrived at the reception in London with Rhys, not long after Cocaine Kate, who was with new fella JAMIE HINCE and best pal SADIE FROST. Evil glares were exchanged across the dancefloor as the tension mounted between the two camps. And after some serious alcohol lubrication it all kicked off. A witness at Saturday’s bash told me: ‘Kate had a go at Sienna and accused her of stealing her style. She was ranting on about how Sienna was now trying to steal her lifestyle and her friends too.’”

[From the Sun]

Is it possible to steal someone’s style? It’s not exactly a tangible item. Isn’t that like stealing someone’s groove? Did I just betray my lack of cool by even asking?

Luckily Sadie Frost stepped in and sorted the whole thing out. That’s right, you can wipe the nervous sweat from your brow now.

“After Sienna fought her corner with an obscene tirade of her own, an unlikely peacemaker stepped in — Sadie. Let’s not forget Sadie once despised Sienna for getting together with her ex JUDE LAW. She and Kate once spent hours bitching about her over numerous glasses of wine — especially when Sienna’s effortless style earned her fashion contracts and she was hailed a style icon.

“But Sadie — who is trying to cut down her boozing — has long since buried the hatchet with Sienna and stepped in on Saturday to calm things down. The onlooker added: ‘Sadie stood between them and reminded them that it was a wedding and that they should show some respect. Sienna was in the mood for carrying on the scrap but Rhys persuaded her to call it a night.’”

[From the Sun]

Well really, if you can’t count on the woman whose ex-husband you slept with to rescue you from the wrath of Kate Moss, who can you count on? The other day when Kate Moss was screaming at me on the subway and I was starting to get kinda freaked out, this lady whose husband I once slept with rushed in and told Kate to chill. I told her it actually wasn’t Kate Moss but a crazed heroin addict, and she apologized and went on her way. You can see how she’d make that mistake though.

Note by Jaybird: Here’s Sienna Miller at the Valentino Garavani Designer Exhibition on July 6th. Header image of Kate Moss at the : The Golden Age Of Couture VIP Gala in London last Wednesday, admittedly not looking like a heroin addict. Images thanks to PR Photos.

I’m starting to think Denise Richards is a whole lotta psycho. Not that she ever seemed anything less than dumb and kinda crazy, but I think she may be talking it up a notch or twelve. The problem is that the guy she’s doing it against is Charlie Sheen, and historically he hasn’t been known for being a pillar of morality or normalcy either. So the biggest part of the challenge is to sort out who’s psycho and who’s just crazy. And I’ve decided my money is on Richards for the psycho trophy. (In case you’re wondering, it looks like the Emmy statuette but it holds a little golden knife). Sheen responds to Richard’s accusations of sexual impropriety in a pretty long letter in which he states that he won’t dignify the majority of the complaints with a response… and then does just that. I don’t normally like to quote long diatribes in their entirety, but to really make my point I’m going to let Sheen’s ‘tribe speak for itself. Yes I just coined a new word. ‘tribe, as in “diatribe.” Tell your friends.

“I will not dignify the majority of these allegations set forth by Denise Richards with any measure of response. On its best day it remains laughable and inane. For the record, as well as for the scales of morality, the following must be clarified: Two years ago, when this circus first arrived, I chose a high road position and remained quiet and dignified. Yet, based on the resurfacing of certain specific claims, made in a severe and grievous manner, illustrating Ms. Richards poor judgment on every possible front, I must counter with these FACTS.

“The FBI was aware of these issues. I provided them with every computer I owned. The computers were returned two weeks later. Haven’t heard from them since. Period. The end. During the 18 months before my request to select my own child care provider, not a single complaint was made or received regarding the welfare of the children while under the care of myself and/or Brooke. I repeat - NOT A SINGLE COMPLAINT by either Ms. Richards herself, or her representatives and nanny.

“All of this, keep in mind, is because I asked the court to grant me the legal and God-given freedom of choice to hire my own child care provider. I have asked that the Court eliminate Ms. Richards ability to abuse and harass us any longer. One can only imagine what we’ve withstood thus far.

“Brooke and I remain committed to the task at hand. These unlawful and diabolical accusations will not distract us from the focus of our resolve. Shortly before unleashing her attack Mr. Richards asked for another baby via a sperm donation, after her divisive attempts at a reconciliation behind Brooke’s back failed. She was flat out rejected.

“I am making every possible effort to assure that the courts focus on my children and their welfare. My refusal to dignify garbage needs to be understood in the context of the history of this case and Denise’s need and desire to make it about issues that do not involve anything other than her emotions.”

[From Extra]

I remember when my parents went through an especially acrimonious divorce several years ago, and they wrote a lot of angry letters to each other. They chose to send theirs to “Access Hollywood” instead of “Extra,” feeling at the time that it was a little classier today. Of course these days “Extra” is the classier of the two, and I like to think that, if they were to divorce again, my parents would be as classy as Charlie Sheen and go that route.

This all bodes really well for Sheen and Richard’s two daughters. Because nothing says love like vaguely veiled hints that your father may, at any time, molest you, while your mother sits in the corner pulling the hairs off the cat one by one.

Note by Jaybird: Here’s Charlie and fiancé Brooke Mueller at the Emmys. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Kid Rock got in a fight with Tommy Lee right at the VMAs last night, and he is even said to have popped him, although I couldn’t tell in the video of the incident, it’s all just a lot of flailing around from far away with Rock looking pissed and trying not to lose his cigar..

Here’s the video from MTV via TMZ.

TMZ says that Tommy Lee got booted from the VMAs right afterwards while Kid Rock was allowed to stay and was not immediately arrested for punching Lee.

Vegas cops issued a statement saying they were there quickly and that Kid Rock got a citation for misdemeanor battery. Cops were said to be looking for him after the VMAs. He will have to appear in court in Vegas in 3-5 weeks.

There was a recent story about Tommy Lee that he had sex with some chick on a table at a public nightclub. Maybe Lee was telling him not to disrespect the mother of his children with such nasty antics, or maybe they were arguing about Pamela herself. She is notorious for on-again off-again relationships that never really end, particularly with Tommy, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she had something going on with him again. She has been seen out on the beach in Malibu with Rick Solomon, the guy who made and marketed the Paris Hilton sex tape, but it’s unknown if they’re an item.

MTV reports that Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock ran into each other right before the VMAs and that it was quite an awkward moment:

As Pam made her way into that area from outside, Kid Rock was entering the same space, which is only like 5′ by 10″, but through the casino side entry. They didn’t notice each other — Pam chatted with Hans Klok, with whom she’s starring in a Vegas show, and Kid Rock sipped his Bud Light. But a minute or so later, Rock turned around and he and Pam were looking right at each other. “Hey,” Pam said to her ex-beau softly, with a cordial smile. It was one of those, “Oh, wow, you, yeah, OK,” moments. Very awkward. And everyone in that room picked up on it.

[From MTV.com]

Maybe that’s why tensions were high when Rock ran into Lee. Even if Lee hasn’t rekindled his relationship with the mother of his children, he still gets to see her often enough and I doubt she has much to do with Rock.

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are shown at the VMAs last night. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Update: The NYDaily News had this pic of Anderson on Lee’s lap at the VMAs and said that this might have provoked Rock, along with the fact that Lee is said to have ignored him. Here’s the description of the incident.

Witnesses claimed Tommy Lee of Motley Crue may have provoked Kid Rock by reintroducing his lap and pawing hands to Anderson.

Rock took exception to Lee’s behavior, decking him in front of Sean (Diddy) Combs.

“It looked like Tommy Lee initiated it because Kid Rock was ignoring him,” said rap producer Rich Nice. “And Tommy Lee kind of antagonized him. And then when Tommy Lee stood up, it looked a little weird, like, ‘Yo, what?”‘

Nice said Kid Rock threw the first punch, backhanding Tommy Lee.

“And then Tommy Lee looked like he was trying to get at him to aggressively retaliate and then Kid Rock hits Tommy Lee again - bong,” Nice said.

[NY Daily News]

Lance Bass has been getting a lot of bad press since he moved to New York City for a role in “Hairspray.” He gave an interview to New York Magazine, and they did a tiny little write-up as a result, mentioning that Bass wasn’t in love with the city, especially the real estate market. He’s also had many mentions on local blogs since moving here, all of which have stated that he’s been rude to fans.

“Lance Bass is here for a few months to star as Corny Collins in Hairspray. He’s not sure he likes New York so much. First off, it took three weeks, and three brokers, to find an apartment. ‘There’s a lot of pieces of crap here for a lot of money,’ he says. ‘And I don’t think anyone here has any style. I was looking at fully furnished places and it was like, you can either have a bunch of floral prints or some dusty couch from the 1960s.’ But he’s adapting. ‘My walking pace has picked up a lot,’ he says. ‘And apparently I’m ruder. I read that someone met me at a club and told me I looked great and I was like, “Don’t even think about taking a picture.” Which really sounds like me. And then they printed a picture they’d taken of me, which makes even less sense.’ He’s not hanging out at fellow ’N Sync alum Justin Timberlake’s barbecue joint. ‘I’ve been a few times,’ he says. ‘But it’s really up there. The Upper East Side? I’m not in college anymore.’ And, after coming out of the closet not so long ago, he has another startling admission to make: ‘I was the worst dancer in the band. I kind of hate to dance.’”

[From New York Magazine]

Lance didn’t like the quotes, and fired back on his MySpace page, along with issuing a statement to a few press agencies. That’s not really helping his image as a control freak. He’s now saying he “loves New York” and is really pissed by the “fake quotes” – saying the reporter, Jada Yuan, put “words in my mouth.” Oh his MySpace page [http://www.myspace.com/basslance], Lance wrote, “This dumb reporter just put words in my mouth and turned everything I said into a negative. I told her I love NY and I will probably be doing the bi-coastal thing now because I love it so much.” He responded to the quotes in an article in People today.

“As for what exactly got him so worked up, here’s a breakdown:

The claim: It took him three weeks to find an apartment. “There’s a lot of pieces of crap here for a lot of money,” he was quoted as saying. “And I don’t think anyone here has any style.”

His response? “I told her the first few apts I looked at were pieces of crap and the owners had no style at all… that turned into ‘Lance thinks New Yorkers have no style!’”

The claim: He’s not hanging out at fellow ‘N Sync alum Justin Timberlake’s barbecue joint. “I’ve been a few times,” he says. “But it’s really up there. The Upper East Side? I’m not in college anymore.”

His response? “I eat at Justins [sic] new place all the time, but it is really far away in the upper east side and always full of a college crowd. She turned that into ‘Lance doesnt [sic] go to Justins [sic] restaurant cause its too far away and he doesnt [sic] like it because he is not in college anymore!’ Um.. I didnt [sic] go to college, why the hell would I say that!”

[From People]

New York Magazine is highly respected. You can never know what an individual journalist will do, but they’re part of the New York Times – it’s not some freebie you pick up from a bin. They do a great job at deeply researched, in-depth pieces – along with the occasional New York entertainment related puff piece, like the article about Bass. They issued a rebuttal that was pretty funny for such a serious magazine. And they reiterate that Bass was a terrible dancer.

“We were going to be nice about this, because we’re actually quite fond of Bass, but then we heard that he called Ms. Yuan a dumb reporter on MySpace. So we invite Bass to breath deeply, stop reading Perez Hilton (who posted the story on his own site under the typically over-the-top headline, ‘Lance Bass Hates New York City’), and take some lessons in reading comprehension. Bass’s beef boils down to two points — he says he didn’t say New Yorkers have no style, and he does go to Justin Timberlake’s restaurant. Oh, and he really loves New York!

“New York would like to make the following points: (1) We stand by the interview; Bass was not misquoted. (2) Bass is not quoted as saying New Yorkers have no style — it’s clear that he’s referring to the apartments he looked at. (3) The piece also does not suggest that Bass doesn’t hang out at Justin Timberlake’s restaurant. In fact, it specifically quotes him as saying he goes there. (4) Though Bass’s quote about his dancing ability (”I was the worst dancer in the band”) has not been called into question, we’d like to reiterate that Bass was, indeed, the worst dancer in ‘N Sync. (5) Bass now says he’s going bi-coastal; he never mentioned that to us, but we’re glad to hear it! Welcome to New York, Lance.”

[From New York Magazine]

I don’t think pissing off a bunch of New Yorkers is a good way to get started. I live in New York, and these are scary, scary people. They will kick you in the head as soon as look at you, and if you dare to smile at one, they will glare and snarl “What the fuck is wrong wit chu?” This happened to me yesterday. And last week. And sixteen other times. Now I don’t smile anymore. And I don’t even have some upside-down looking face like Lance Bass, so I can only imagine what could happen to him.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Lance at the I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry Premiere on 07/12/2007. Header image of Lance at the Hairspray New York City Premiere on 7/16/2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.

The latest issue of Star screams on the cover that Brad wants Angie to go to rehab, but it’s not rehab for a half-assed rumor that a drug addiction could be behind her shockingly-thing frame, it’s rehab for an eating disorder. Angelina is now supposedly 98 pounds, and at a 5′7″ that’s severely underweight.

As usual, I doubt they have any insider information and are probably making up shit based on things she’s said in the past along with photos of how frail she looks. Given how general their statements from a “friend” are, it suggests this article is made up almost entirely:

“Brad seems worried sick about Angie, and he doesn’t know what else he can do,” a friend of the couple tells Star. “At this point, I think getting professional help might be the wisest way to go. He didn’t want it to come to this, but gong to a rehab center for eating disorders may be the best thing for Angelina.” Insiders say that Angie is taking steps to help her gain weight, but they don’t seem to be working. “She also has a history with depression, and things got a lot worse after the death of her mother,” says a source.

[From Star Magazine via I’m Not Obsessed]

Meanwhile Life & Style has an article in this week’s issue that sounds more plausible because it has actual details of a supposed incident in it. It’s probably fake too, but it says that Angelina and Brad were arguing because he supports Barack Obama and she’s rooting for John Edwards for the presidency. It supposedly ended with Angelina throwing a glass of wine in Brad’s face:

The magazine will report in this week’s issue that things got so heated that Angie empties that glass in Brad’s face an insider tells the weekly entertainment magazine. “They got into a huge fight about politics,” says an insider close to the Pitt family. (Brad, explains another insider, supports Barack Obama, while Angie’s a John Edwards fan.) “Brad ended up calling her immature. He says the next thing he knew, Angie was cursing at him and throwing a glass of wine in his face.”

[From The National Ledger, details from Life & Style]

I would like to see Edwards be the next president too, but I can’t see Angelina preferring him so much to Obama that she’d get pissed off like that. There is the issue of who is more likely to get elected, and that debate can get heated. Some people believe we should support the candidate who can win and other people defend the notion that it’s best to support the person who will do the best job. I remember reading somewhere that Democratic candidates have a much better chance at the presidency if they’re southern. Either one of them would make an excellent president, in my opinion.

There was a lot of uproar earlier in the week over here in Europe about a story that they were thinking of moving to Berlin. I’m not sure if it was true or not, and their rep has denied it, but they do own a place in east Berlin and may have purchased land on a peninsula/island on the edge of Berlin.

A lot of you guys have extreme hatred for these two. To me they’re just a pair of rich famous people and I don’t really have strong feelings for them either way. Putting their supposed problems on the cover of a gossip rag is a surefire way to sell copies, since so many people want to see them fail miserably at something. Angelina looks like she’s losing a battle with her weight and her health, but whether Brad wants her to go to rehab or she cares enough about John Edwards to get all up in his face like that is up to question.

Thanks to popbytes for the Star cover.

I was really hoping to ignore Britney, Lohan and Paris for as long as possible, but when their hectic lives are filled with such gossip-worthy tidbits it’s hard to resist. You’ll forgive me for indulging today, and we’ll have to see where the site heads in terms of paying attention to the three disgraces in the future.

Britney was staying at a Las Vegas resort with her two boys and was asked to leave after her bodyguard got into a fight with a photographer. It sounds like the photographer is claiming that the bodyguard beat him up and accidentally hit little Sean Preston, while Britney is claiming that another photographer hit her bodyguard and is the one who hit the boy. Whatever happened, there was a fight and Sean Preston was injured.

Britney’s bodyguard, a guy curiously named Julio Camera, ironically seems to hate paparazzi and probably pulled a Mickey Brett on one of the photographers who constantly follow Britney. Like moths are attracted to light, the paparazzi follow those nip, crotch and ass slips and you can hardly blame them for tailing Britney all day. According to the partner of the photographer, who witnessed the incident, the photographer got too close to Britney’s older child, Sean Preston, and “Camera” shoved the guy, accidentally hitting Sean Preston. (I’ll include quotation marks around Camera’s name from now on as it’s confusing when there’s also a photographer involved.)

Then the bodyguard, “Camera,” got really incensed and starting beating up the photographer, even though he was the one who started it. It’s nice to know Britney surrounds herself with reasonable people to balance out her craziness.

The way that US Weekly describes it is confusing, but after this happened Britney filed a police report against a different photographer, claiming he assaulted her bodyguard and battered her child (it was not stated that it was SP). “Camera,” Britney’s bodyguard, was the one who was charged with battery by the police. It sounds like there was a fight and that Sean Preston was injured.

A photographer who was shooting Spears vacationing with her two children at the resort claims that earlier today, Camera shoved his partner in the chest and accidentally hit toddler Sean Preston in the process.

The photographer then alleges that Spears started yelling while Camera tackled his partner to the ground and began punching. He claims that after Wynn security asked all parties involved to leave, the Las Vegas police were called to take statements.

Sgt. Loretto of the Las Vegas Police Department tells Usmagazine.com that Camera has been issued a citation for misdemeanor battery. Meanwhile, Loretto says that Spears has filed an allegation of battery on behalf of Sean Preston against photographer Kyle Henderson.

Spears’ battery allegation remains under investigation, with Vegas police issuing the following statement: “A second Incident Crime Report was also filed by Ms. Spears on behalf of her minor child. In that report it was alleged that prior to the above incident a second photographer, identified as Kyle Henderson, battered both Mr. Camera and Ms. Spears’ child , who was at that time being held by the security officer.”

[US Weekly]

Britney was kicked out of that resort in Vegas after being there for less than a day, and is probably not welcome back.

Meanwhile Britney’s Vegas trip might have been the last straw in her custody battle. K-Fed was said to have visited a lawyer to see if her recent antics on the OK! Magazine photo shoot could be used against her in the divorce proceedings. Now that she jetted off to Vegas, violating her custody agreement, Life and Style reports that his lawyer ordered her to return to LA immediately and that her custody could be in jeopardy.

If it was just Britney involved, it would be laughable and more of the same for this messed-up woman, but the sad thing is that her kids are being affected all too seriously by this. Even though the tendency is to find her at fault somehow, you can’t blame her though I guess if it was someone else fighting. I hope Sean Preston wasn’t hurt too badly. There was no mention of medical attention or a hospital, so hopefully his injuries were minor.

Thanks to Splash News for these recent pictures of Britney and her bodyguard and boys.

Heather Locklear was said to be super pissed to see yet another one of her exes, David Spade, in a public clutch with Pamela Anderson. Anderson was married to Locklear’s first husband, Tommy Lee, in 1995 after his divorce from Locklear in 1993. It doesn’t look like Lee was cheating on Locklear, at least with Anderson, because they got married after only knowing each other for a few days and that was well after his separation from Locklear. Supposedly Locklear told Lee at the time they broke up that he could date anyone he pleased - except Pamela Anderson!

So Heather Locklear understandably dislikes Pamela Anderson and was none too pleased to see pictures of David Space kissing and rubbing Pam’s tummy. Locklear was thought to have had a recent relationship with Spade despite insisting that they’re just friends. What’s more is that Spade knows that Locklear can’t stand Anderson and that she’s strictly off limits as far as she is concerned:

Even though Heather, 45, has been seeing her former Melrose Place costar, Jack Wagner, for the past few months, she “flipped out” when she saw photos of David rubbing Pam’s bare midriff during a recent hookup in Las Vegas, say sources. And she really lost it when she saw another shot of them kissing at the JET nightclub in the Mirage Hotel. “Heather went ballistic,” says the friend. “When she split with her first husband, Tommy Lee, Heather told him he was free to go after anyone but Pam. Tommy not only married Pam, he had two children with her!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, July 30, 2007]

The article goes on to say that back when they were dating, Spade was joking around to Locklear about how dumb Anderson was. Locklear can’t believe that he would go around and hook up with her given their history. Despite a new relationship with Jack Wagner, Heather is still mad at Spade for going after the one woman that is strictly taboo. (Well, maybe one of two women since she surely wouldn’t like it if he started shagging Denise Richards either.)

Maybe Locklear hates Anderson so much because she’s more like the former Baywatch babe than she cares to admit. At 45, Locklear doesn’t have much to worry about as she has it all over 40 year-old Anderson, who also looks great but needs to hang up the bikini and move on.

TMZ says this douce Gary Dourdan from CSI beat up a paparazzo and then followed him around trying to get his camera. They have like four videos up of the incident, but they’re super long and all shaky and from what I can tell you never see the actual beat-down, it’s just all yelling and bad camera angles. TMZ should really edit their videos down, because watching a camera aimed at the ground go into a mini mart, run down the street and then get into a cab is a real waste of five minutes. And that’s just one video.

As we previously reported, the “CSI” star brutally attacks our guy, then speeds off on his Ducati. Apparently unaware that his camera is still recording, our photog captures Dourdan coming back for round two and recklessly chasing him around Hollywood.

Dourdan and his entourage, riding in a Town Car, chase the frightened photog as he begs passersby for help, ultimately flagging down a cab to get away from the mob.

[From TMZ]

Why is it always the minor celebrities, like Woody Harrelson, and Jamiroquai that beat up paparazzi? If they were out with another woman or something they’re only making it obvious, and no one wants pictures of their sorry asses anyway.

Dourdan has predictably issued a response, and it sounds pretty convincing to me:

“Gary has always been respectful of the media and the paparazzi but also values his privacy. It’s our belief that this is a minor incident exaggerated by an eager paparazzo in order to create a story.”

[From TMZ]

Maybe if TMZ wouldn’t make me watch 20 minutes worth of crappy video to figure out what happened I might be more likely to believe them. I mean, it probably happened and all, but it’s a waste of time trying to find any kind of proof on their videos which is why they try and make you watch them all thinking you missed something.

Saturday Night Live comedians Andy Dick and Jon Lovitz had a fight in LA comedy club Laugh Factory. As soon as I read this, I just got the Bridget Jones’ Diary fight sequence in my head. Check it out here.

The reason for the comedy fight was that Andy allegedly gave Brynn Hartman cocaine at a 1997 Christmas party, after she had been clean and sober for 10 years. Five months later she killed her husband, Phil Hartman of TV series NewsRadio. She wasn’t on cocaine, but she was drunk and taking Zoloft. She killed herself at the same time.

So what does this have to do with Andy Dick and Jon Lovitz? Well, Lovitz replaced Hartman on NewsRadio, and when this happened he blamed Andy Dick for Phil Hartman’s death. (Take a deep breath and stay with me people, I know it’s confusing and strange) Last year Andy walked past Jon, drank his guests’ drink, and declared “I put the ‘Phil Hartman hex’ on you - you’re the next one to die.”

Then Jon decided to smash Andy’s face into a bar until his nose bled.

Lovitz was furious. “I wanted to punch his face in, but I don’t hit women,” he said.

Then when the two ran into each other last Wednesday at the Laugh Factory, tensions boiled over.

“I wanted him to say he was sorry for the ‘Phil Hartman hex’,” Lovitz said.

“First he says, ‘I don’t remember saying that.’ Then he leans in and says, ‘You know why I said it? Because you said I killed Phil Hartman.’ Which I never said. Then he asked me to be in his new movie.

“I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned him over and said, ‘I don’t want to be in your movie! I don’t want to be in your life!’

“I pushed him against the rail. Then I pushed him again really hard. A security guard broke it up. I’m not proud of it … but he’s a disgusting human being.”

SMH

Two middle aged men fighting in a comedy club, over an incident that happened years ago. That is champagne comedy. I’m sure Jon Lovitz isn’t the first person who has wanted to punch Andy Dick in the face. How did Carrie Fisher feel after he licked her face?