Belgian action hero Jean Claude Van Damme, 47, is promoting a new French film about himself, called simply JCVD. When describing the film to a young female journalist he used a few colorful metaphors which could only be interpreted a a blatant kind of disgusting pass at her. It’s hard to tell if he’s joking or not but they certainly present it as if he’s earnest about it:

There ‘ s a monologue in the film about being a washed-up action star. Did you improvise that?
I like structure—like driving: go past the school on the street, stay on the right side, no hitting the car, go in right, you’ll see a big church, stop and take a left, and you’ll have it. By doing this I’m giving a structure of life, a path of light, and showing what happens between me and me, which is something very beautiful.

Beautiful? Why?
I really opened myself up in “JCVD.” I peeled back the skin of the fruit, cut the pulp and then took that very hard seed. In this film I cut that hard seed, and inside that seed was a kind of liquid cream substance of the man I am, or the woman you are.

OK —
It was like being naked—I would love to be naked in front of you.

Well, I —
Not being naked being naked. I say such things in Hong Kong and they thought I was being a crazy Frenchman. Being naked of protection.

So you ‘ ve no regrets at all?
Believe me—I’ve done very good stuff and very crazy stuff, and I don’t regret the crazy stuff. So are you in New York?

Yes, I am.
And are you 27, or 32?

I ‘ m 22.
Oh, f–––. That is very young. Will you come to the premiere?

I don ‘ t know. When is it?
I don’t know. You will wear all black, a black dress and high heels?

Uh —
You can come find me, I will be the one with the very broad shoulders, dark hair and a simple suit. We can have some champagne, you and me.

[From Newsweek via Fark]

He could be kidding, but it’s doubtful. Or maybe Van Damme just knows how to get press and is working it to his advantage. Even if the guy is saying it all straight-faced there’s a kind of genius to his obnoxiousness.

Jean Claude Van Damme is currently married to bodybuilder Gladys Portuguese, with whom he is shown at Cannes on 5/16/08 with their son Kristopher, 21. He’s been married five times to four different women as he married Portugese twice.

Critics are lauding JCVD, which is out in limited release in the US now. The San Francisco Chronicle’s Mick LaSalle calls it a “shrewd satire about stardom and the cult of celebrity.” Van Damme plays himself looking at his career and analyzing his status as a has-been who still has some celebrity currency left to spend. Many people are saying it’s the best acting they’ve seen from Van Damme, who arguably might not be acting at all.

Here’s a teaser for the film. Some commenters on YouTube say it’s hard to get all the humor if you don’t understand French and are just reading the subtitles:

Photo credit: WENN