**********THIS WHOLE POST IS A SPOILER OF THE LOST FINALE***********

Okay, okay… am I the only one who spent the last fifteen minutes saying “What the f-ck… no seriously, WHAT THE F-CK?!?” to themselves while rocking gently? The first two hours? Great television. Amazing television. I was crying throughout Sun and Jin’s memories, through Claire giving birth with Charlie and Kate there, and especially through Sawyer and Juliette. I mean, I could barely see the television I was crying so hard through Sawyer and Juliette’s “We can go Dutch.”

But none of it f-cking mattered. Because they’re all dead. Right? I mean, this whole thing was like cosmic, sci-fi, uber-churchy purgatory where the characters learned life lessons and the power of love in this world that they all created to be with each other because they were all dead…? Right?

Question: Why aren’t Miles, Kate, Claire, Sawyer and Lupedis still alive? I mean, they were flying off? So weren’t they the real survivors? Or are we supposed to know that none of them even survived the first plane crash in episode 1, season 1? Or did they all survive and live for a long time, but in this purgatory they were just young again?

Question: Where was a Desmond-Penny scene? Did anyone else miss Penny? Her scenes with Desmond were always so powerful, and she just got thrown in at the end, like, “Oh, yeah, they loved each other too.” But Penny isn’t dead! She never died on the island in any way shape or form. She was never even on the island, was she? And if Desmond survived the red light of electromagnetic hell (?), then he’s stuck on the island, but Hurley is going to make sure Desmond gets home to Penny and their kid…? …The f-ck?

Question: Not that it really matters at this point, but when Rose and Bernard appeared, didn’t it just click? “Oh, THEY should be the protectors of the island.” Hurley? Dude, I hope bud grows on the island. But since Rose and Bernard were “dead” too I guess they were killed at some point…?

Question: Shannon? Really? I thought the love of Sayid’s life was Nadia? Sure, I was happy to see Shannon and Boone, but I didn’t care for the way that played out.

Also: UGH CHRISTIAN SHEPHARD. Everything related to Christian Shephard as a character and everything related to the concept of “the Christian shepherd” is bullsh-t. I hate Jack and his f-cking daddy issues. And I also hate the sinking realization that I’ve been watching such a religious show for six years. I realize they through in the obligatory Buddha (for the Koreans?) and a menorah (For… Sawyer? Who was the Jewish character? Ben? He seems like a goy.) I didn’t see a crescent, so Sayid’s faith wasn’t represented. And why can’t the Hindus get some love? Can we get a shout-out to Shinto? Wicca?

All in all, I think the creators were too busy building the last episode on the idea/image of the closeup of Jack’s eye, like how the series started, and a recurring image throughout the series. They wanted to have Jack’s eye closing, and they built the story around that. Bullsh-t. Jack as this Christ-figure martyred by the island/his father/being an alcoholic was one of the worst ideas of the whole show.

I’m sure there’s a lot more to discuss, but I can’t even do it at this point. I kind of wish I had just stopped watching when Sawyer and Juliette reunited. That would have made me so happy. So… what did you all think? Happy? Sad? Content? Disappointed?

Just FYI: This whole post is a SPOILER, so if you haven’t seen Lost yet, and you don’t want to ruin anything, just move along!

Okay, as I just mentioned in the other post, I’m terribly hungover today because I drank way too much last night as I watched the two-hour premiere of Lost: The Final Season. I was devastated, crazed, amazed, hurt, elated and rapt. In a word, I was mindf-cked. I started drinking about a half an hour into the show when I convinced myself that Sayid was being killed off. Thankfully… well, I’m just glad I watched until the end, right?

First, let me just say that I’m not any kind of Lost expert. Every now and then I read Entertainment Weekly, and I read some interviews here and there. I have a college education, I understand symbolism and I have a basic-to-well-read grasp of major religions and religious texts. I am not a scientist, and my understanding of most things involving physics, quantum mechanics, space-time continuums, et cetera basically comes from movies and the occasional Time Magazine article. Basically, if you’ve come here for expertise, you’re in the wrong place.

Now, let’s get some of the biggest news out of the way: The Smoke Monster! Can you believe that we finally know what – or should I say, who – the Smoke Monster is?!? The Man in Black is a piece of work. Is he the devil? Is working on behalf of some sort of cosmic evil? Is The Man in Black simply an avatar of anger, rage, hatred and evil? Is he Cain to Jacob’s Abel?

Other thoughts: I never really cared for Ian Sommerholder or his character, but I was so pleased to see him on the plane. But where was Maggie Grace? Did she not want to come back to the series that f-cking made her? Or did her brother’s comment about not how she didn’t want to be rescued from her bad relationship mean that Maggie never got on the plane in this universe? But I forgot all about that brother and sister stuff when CHARLIE came back!! I love Dominic Monaghan so, so, so much and his small part made my damn night!

Now Sayid – I started drinking because I thought Sayid was a goner. I was seriously ready to pack it in, especially when those strange people (Chinese? And Portuguese maybe?) drowned Sayid in the damn swimming pool of regeneration/fountain of youth. But Sayid is still alive! I think the swimming pool might have healed him quasi-instantly, much like the cup of Christ saved Sean Connery in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.

And Sawyer and Juliet… f-ck me, their scenes are so beautiful together. I think Josh Halloway is a very underrated actor, always. But his scenes with Elizabeth Mitchell kill me. The tenderness those two actors expose with each other is just amazing. I cried.

I actually liked Kate in the parallel-plane universe as she was running from the bounty hunter. She’s really good at escaping sh-t, and in general, they kept her whining to a minimum, which I liked. I even liked Jack a little, both on the plane and on the island. OH! That was another thing – Christian Shepherd’s body was never on the damn plane?!? Mindf-ck.

I have so, so much more to say about this stuff, but I think it’s better if I just cool it for now. What were your thoughts? Were you mindf-cked too? By the way, someone at ABC sent us this heads-up: apparently, we can all go to ABC online and watch the full premiere over and over again (here). The site also has lots of clips, interviews, photos and other Lost goodies too (here).

F-ck me, Josh Holloway looks good enough to eat. Those dimples are going to make me go insane. How in the world was this man not a star before Lost? Seriously? Why do we put up with the Taylor Lautners and Josh Duhamels of the world when there’s a guy out there who looks like this? Sigh… I’m in love.

Anyway, I’m putting up these photos (which are more than a week old, my apologies) of Josh and Evangeline Lilly, Emilie de Ravin and Daniel Dae Kim because Lost: The Final Season premieres in, like, days! Like, if you wanted to count down by hour, you seriously could. I’m so thrilled about this, I don’t even mind that it’s scheduled for the same time slot as NCIS! Mark Harmon is great and all, but I cannot deny the Josh Holloway and Naveen Andrews magical island hotness. Lost’s premiere is one of the most anticipated events of the year decade century! Or whatever.

Considering how highly anticipated this event, this must-see-tv, this history being written, it’s kind of strange that we literally know nothing about what is going to happen on the premiere episode, or the season as a whole. I’ve read some half-assed spoilers here and there, stuff about this character being killed off or that one blah blah, but nothing is ever verified, and one of the reasons Losties love the series is because no character is too precious to avoid death, destruction or heartbreak. They’ve killed off fan-favorites before (R.I.P. Charlie) – and God knows, the original construct of the first episode was for Matthew Fox to die! Still, I hope it’s not Naveen Andrews or Josh Holloway. I would be heartbroken. Anyway, the in-house Lostie at Entertainment Weekly has written a massive, mega-opus describing various theories for how the final season could play out. I read about four pages and then I had to stop myself because I was going to geek out too hard and bust something. Here you go – enjoy!

In addition to the theories, EW also put Lost’s Final Season on their cover this week, and they scored an interview with the two co-creators of Lost, and EW put up an excerpt:

With Lost’s last season premiere just days away (Tuesday, Feb. 2 at 9 p.m. on ABC, to be precise), EW’s own Jeff “Doc” Jensen has been going a little crazy with anticipation. Fortunately he’s channeled all that energy into something productive: Theorizing!

Not only does he have his own thoughts about how it’s all going to end, this week Doc Jensen also went straight to the source — Lost’s exec producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse — to get some key intel on what fans can expect in the sixth and final season.

Given that there are so many lingering questions to be answered in just 16 episodes, Cuse and Lindelof say the plan is to do what they’ve always done: tell their story their way.

“We’re writing the show for ourselves,” says Cuse. “It would be a terrible mistake to change the methodology that has sustained the show for this long.” Lindelof refers to Lost’s most despised duo to drive home the point: “Find the person who hates Nikki and Paulo the most, and I guarantee you that Carlton and I are still flagellating ourselves for that idea. The fact that we are 10 times harder on ourselves than anybody else makes us feel like the show is in the right hands.”

That said, Lindelof is still feeling butterflies about the impending premiere: “I wish it was already here. The audience may hate it. The audience may not hate it. But at least they will finally see it, and when they do, it will be a relief.”

The duo also offered teasers about Lost’s most pressing questions — Is John Locke really dead? Who are Jacob and the Man in Black? Will Kate choose Jack or Sawyer? — though they’re coy when asked if fans will ever learn what the Island really is.

As for Lost’s central hero and resident “fixer,” Jack Shephard, the question of whether he’ll achieve the redemption he so desperately seeks will be a core theme for season six.

Explains Cuse, “This notion of predeterminism is something we’re very actively exploring this season. Is redemption possible? Is redemption possible for all of them? Is redemption possible for some of them? What does redemption look like?”

[From EW]

You know who no one is mentioning anymore? Desmond. I actually adored the Desmond character, and I loved his love story. It would such a shame if he wasn’t around at all in the final season. My greatest fear is that the last episodes are going to be dominated by Jack and Kate’s bullsh-t. They’re generally considered the two “leads” of the ensemble, and they are the weakest links, in my opinion. Oh, and Jack and Kate belong together. Two self-absorbed, asinine, belligerent a-holes belong together. Leave Sawyer either with Juliet… or mourning her.

Anyway, who’s with me? I’m initiating the countdown now!

EW cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

Dominic Monaghan has a soft spot in my heart, because he stars as the hobbit Merry in my favorite movie, The Lord of the Rings, and as the rock star Charlie in one of my favorite TV shows, Lost.

The problem for Dom is typecasting. The quirky and distinctive-looking actor admits he went a little wild after The Lord of the Rings because he couldn’t find work.

On the plus side, it appears Dom isn’t being typecast as a hobbit. Instead, he’s being typecast as a British rock star.

Dom will guest star on the February 2 episode of the NBC show Chuck, playing a British rock star, according to Michael Ausiello of Entertainment Weekly.

“This is a very, very different kind of character,” insists executive producer Josh Schwartz of Monaghan’s metalhead, who makes an in-store appearance at Buy More and ends up entangled in one of Chuck’s spy games. “He’s a lunatic in the best sense of the word. He’s not as dark as Charlie. And there’s no heroin [addiction].” Adds Monaghan, “He’s like Charlie in a hallucinogenic dream.”

Still, Monaghan admits he had some trepidation about channeling someone who, at least on paper, so closely resembles his ill-fated Lost castaway. “I never want to play the same thing twice,” he admits. “But Charlie could never be this person.”

[From Entertainment Weekly, print edition, October 31, 2008]

The episode will air partly in 3-D, just like the Super Bowl half-time show the night before.

Dom dated his Lost co-star Evangeline Lilly for several years before breaking up in late 2007. They may have reconciled this year and may possibly be engaged (take that with a grain of salt).

I’ve only seen one episode of Chuck, and it didn’t grab me enough to keep watching.

Dom will also star as Beak in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, to be released next year. It’s sure to be a huge blockbuster.

Ausiello also has some scoop on Lost.

Brotherhood’s Fionnula Flanagan, who played the omniscient ring-seller who spooked Desmond in year 3, will be back this season to unload a humdinger of a secret: She’s related to a major character. And it’s not Des. Or Vincent.

[From Entertainment Weekly, print edition, October 31, 2008]

Off the top of my head, I’d guess Charlotte.

Lost won’t be back to answer our questions with more questions until early 2009.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Dominic Monaghan is shown out on LA on 10/3/08. They say he had pink nail polish on, but it looks like it’s only on the index finger of his right hand and that he just pained that one nail. Credit: Fame Pictures.

Well the “Lost” curse may have struck again in the form of Daniel Dae Kim’s arrest on DUI charges last week, but at least he’s being a little more humble and dignified than some of his costars were. Kim issued an apology in which he said he was ashamed and embarrassed by his actions. He thanks those that have been supportive, and acknowledges that he has disappointed people and apologizes. This is in contradiction to Michelle Rodriguez, who abused police and has ranted for years about how unfair it is that she was punished for breaking the law.

Daniel Dae Kim, the Lost star arrested in Hawaii Thursday on a DUI charge, says he’s sorry. “I am deeply ashamed and embarrassed by the events of Thursday morning,” the actor says in a statement to TMZ. “It saddens me to know that I jeopardized the welfare of the kind people of Hawaii, a community that I love and call my home. It is my intention to cooperate fully with the police and I am grateful to them for their sensitivity throughout this matter,” Kim adds. “To my friends, family, colleagues and fans, thank you for your kind words of support. To those I have disappointed I can only ask that you accept my heartfelt apologies.”

Kim, who plays Jin-Soo Kwon on the ABC series, was arrested around 3 a.m. Thursday morning for allegedly driving drunk in Hawaii, where the show is filmed. He’s the latest Lost actor to be charged with drunk driving – Cynthia Watros and Michelle Rodriguez were busted on DUI charges in 2005.

[From People]

Well if nothing else, the guy has some good PR reps and lawyers. He also saw what Cynthia Watros and Michelle Rodriguez’s DUI arrests did to their jobs on the show… and to their careers in general. Kim’s character is much more essential to the show than Watros and Rodriguez’s, but on “Lost” no actor is safe from an angry cloud of smoke smacking them to death against a rock. I don’t know why, but to me it sounds like Kim is pretty sincere in his apology. I couldn’t find any other history of legal problems, so let’s hope this was a one time thing and he learns from it.

What is with the cast of “Lost”? What must their bosses be like, to drive them to such heavy drinking? And then driving? I can’t remember the last time one show had so many actors with the same problem. My next pick for DUI getting was Matthew Fox. Can’t say why. Oh, because I once heard him say in an interview that he knows he’s incredibly manipulative and he likes to spend a lot of time naked. And I just thought “Ding! You’re going to be the next one to drink too much.” Okay not really, but my money was definitely not on Daniel Dae Kim, who plays Jin-Soo Kwon.

Hollywood actor Daniel Dae Kim has become the fourth major cast member of television’s “Lost” to be arrested in Hawaii, TMZ.com said Thursday. Kim, who plays Jin-Soo Kwon on the mystery series filmed in Hawaii, was arrested by Honolulu police early Thursday on suspicion of drunken driving. The Honolulu Advertiser reported Kim was arrested around 3 a.m. and released about two hours later. Details of the arrest weren’t immediately available, TMZ.com said.

Kim’s cast-mates Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros were arrested for DUI in December 2005. Both actresses, whose characters have since been killed off the show, pleaded guilty. In September of 2006, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje was arrested for disobeying a police officer and driving without a license. His character was also killed off. The charges were later dropped.

[From United Press International]

You know that means he’s going to get killed off! I don’t know if the producers of “Lost” are really law-abiding citizens, or if they don’t want bad press, or if they want their actors to keep a relatively low profile. But what are the odds that the other three got in trouble and just coincidentally got written out of the series? I loved Michelle Rodriguez’s line about how her character was always just supposed to be a one year thing. Bull. I was already pretty stressed about “Lost” in general, but now I’m going to be all uppity until it comes back on the air in February. Yeah, freaking February.