Okay, you know how I’ve always complained about Katy Perry and her “music”? It’s true. I really dislike Katy’s music, across the board. I dislike the official versions of her songs, and I abhor her live performances even more. But this too shall pass, because for the past week, I have not been able to get Katy’s “E.T.” out of my head. It’s really, really catchy. And… it’s not bad. Not for fluffy pop music. Sigh… does this make uncool?

Anyway, the song has been getting a lot of play on the radio, and now Katy has just released her fancy music video. It’s… interesting.

So… I don’t really “understand” it, but whatever. It’s more fun when you think that Katy is singing about her undying love for alien goddess Tilda Swinton. In fact, I kind of think Katy used Tilda as inspiration for costumes, makeup and hair. Also, I think Katy is an “alien” from the Planet Tacky Mall Nails. Her acrylic nails will destroy planet earth!

Screencaps from the video.

Whenever I hear the name Enrique Iglesias I get that “Tonight I’m f’ing you” song stuck in my head on a loop and picture greasy guys like The Situation and Pauley D picking up women with big hair at a club. (Inglesias does say “here’s the Situation,” so the guy inevitably comes to mind.) So I don’t really think of Enrique Iglesias as an “artist” or someone who wouldn’t benefit from hitching his name to a bigger star. He seems to think he can do fine on his own, though, and made a statement last night that the joint tour that Britney Spears just announced with him wasn’t happening.

Update: Enrique just released this statement, confirming he WON’T be touring with Britney.

“Unfortunately, Enrique Iglesias and Britney Spears will not be touring together,” his rep said. “Despite initial reports based on formal discussions of the possible run, Enrique will continue on his solo tour in support of his new album EUPHORIA. Enrique has great respect for Britney and is a longtime fan of her work. He is very sorry for the confusion this might have caused to anyone.”

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The Britney Spears and Enrique Iglesias tour is over even before it began, after the hunky star pulled out just hours after they announced the joint venture, RadarOnline.com has learned.

The tour was made public on Tuesday, moments before Spears shook her stuff for a much talked about performance on Good Morning America.

But it appears that the Spanish hunk no longer wants to pair up with the pop princess and has since cancelled.

Live Nation is promoting the show and sent out a media advisory stating: “Enrique Iglesias is no longer on this tour.”

No further explanation was given, but Billboard is reporting that he ducked out because he doesn’t want to be an opening act for anyone.

“Plans called for Iglesias, who is currently on tour in Europe, to be much more than a standard opening act; he was slated to carry full production on the Spears tour,” Billboard reported. “While two such high-profile artists with top-shelf production values was sure to be attractive to fans, such an endeavor is also very expensive to produce.”

[From Radar Online]

So what happened? Did Enrique see the hilariously bad “performance” that Britney gave on Good Morning America? She was kind of teetering around the stage, moving her arms and lip syncing but that’s what she did on her entire Circus tour from what I remember so it isn’t new. He probably realized he was better off not being associated with Britney or relying on her in any way. I bet his people cooked up that joint tour idea and he was on board with it until he saw her perform and realized what he was getting into. It’s possible that it was some business decision as they’re claiming, but that seems like a convenient excuse to me.

TMZ is reporting that Enrique didn’t want to be opening act for anyone, but I bet he didn’t want to be second biller to Britney.

Photos are of Britney performing last night on Jimmy Kimmel credit: Fame and of Enrique performing on 3/25 in London and 3/28 in Holland. Credit: WENN.com

Britney Spears is launching yet another album after her successful worldwide Circus tour about two years ago. As promotion for her new album Femme Fatale, out Tuesday, she did two brief shows in Vegas Saturday Night and then performed a free concert of the same three song set in San Francisco on Sunday. That show was taped for Good Morning America and will air tomorrow. They’re promoting the hell out of it and I keep seeing spots for it on TV, where they promise that we’ll get to “wake up and go to bed” with Britney. It doesn’t sound like that great a prospect to me, but she has a lot of fans and she puts out solid pop hits. An MTV special featuring Britney will also air this week.

Whoever thought Britney Spears had lost it … boy, were you ever wrong.

The 29-year-old Mississippi-born beauty, a mother-of-two, showed off her incredible figure — particularly her derriere — in front of 5,000 fans at San Francisco’s Bill Graham Civic Auditorium on Sunday. Part of the event will be broadcast on Good Morning America Tuesday, as host Robin Roberts, fresh off her testy chat with Chris Brown, joined Spears onstage at one point.

The resurgent chart-topper changed costumes several times during the event, wearing luscious get-ups like a a silver sequined body-suit and a black leotard that accentuated her tremendous physique. She looked stunning in a series of outfits as she sang Hold It Against Me, Big Fat Bass, Till The World Ends.

The production was top-notch as well, as Brit’s elaborate stage set up was enhanced by a firework finale that ended the show. The 29-year-old Toxic singer has hit the road in promotion of her upcoming album Femme Fatale, the follow-up to her 2008 smash-hit Circus.

Britney Spears and Jason Trawick Go Shopping In Maui

“The energy, the people, the dancing the music, Britney — it was tremendous!” Roberts said following the set.

The sexy songbird tweeted about the great time she had in the city by the Bay following the Sunday show.

“Just wrapped GMA. I love love love you San Francisco! -Britney,” she tweeted, later adding, “Leaving the Castro District. I wanted to see more but I could barely get out the car!!! I love you all SO much … PS – Even my dad had a great time!”

She also thanked Jersey Shore’s Pauly D “for keeping the crowd pumped at my Vegas show on Friday night.”

Check out GMA Tuesday, as the show will air clips from Sunday’s concert, as well as a special announcement from the singer.

[From Radar Online]

Britney was touring nearly all of 2009 and she did very well. We barely heard much gossip about her, except for some minor wardrobe malfunctions, and lip syncing complaints. It looks like there’s more of the same planned for her soon. This “big announcement” she’s going to make on GMA will probably be for a tour of some kind. She’s got managers and lawyers and ex husbands to pay, and that’s where the money is. She looks great and more together than ever, and she’s doing what she knows. I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop for her for a while, but maybe she’s past all that now and ready to move on to the next phase in her career.

Here’s a preview of Tuesday’s GMA:

Update: Here’s a clip of her Vegas performance. [via DListed] She looks wooden, just like on her last tour, but that’s Britney.

Photos from Fame Pictures. Sunday was declared “Britney Spears Day” in San Francisco. Credit: Fame Pictures

You know how I hated Lady Gaga’s video for “Born This Way” and how the sheer forced-weirdness of the video might have influenced my thoughts on the actual song? Yeah, I’m going to have to take some of it back. First of all, three mornings in a row this week I watched the “Born This Way” video on VH1 while I ate breakfast, and while I still don’t care for the video, the song is catchy in that particular way Gaga’s songs are always catchy. So, I’ve already been singing it to myself all week. And now Gaga has dropped a “remix” on us. It’s the country version of “Born This Way”! Um… is it okay if I LOVE this version?

Gaga debuted it on Twitter this morning, and the remix was co produced by Gaga and Fernando Garibay. I heart this version so much. It’s so bluesy, and now I want Gaga to perform it on the CMAs or something. Hey, if they let Gwyneth in, why not Gaga?!?

Here’s the old version, for comparison:

There was a lot of buzz yesterday over the fact that Rebecca Black, the cute 13 year-old who put out what could be the most annoying viral song to date, Friday, was laughing all the way to the bank when it came to iTunes sales. According to Billboard magazine, those stories came from a mistaken calculation by Forbes magazine, who estimated that Black had sold 2 million downloads of Friday (at 70 cents net to her a pop) on iTunes. Black has only sold around 43,000 downloads though, which is still good money but it’s not like she’s going to be able to retire before she’s a freshman in high school.

Contrary to several media reports, Rebecca Black is not netting hundreds of thousands of dollars from the more than 33 million YouTube views of her uber-viral video “Friday” or its digital sales. However, she’s not doing bad.

The 13-year-old is netting roughly $24,900 per week from track sales of her surprise hit song, according to our calculations. It’s the start of a great college fund, but she’s not making the kind of money from iTunes sales that some writers have estimated.

Forbes.com erroneously reported her digital iTunes sales at 2 million — a figure that was picked up by other publications. Forbes has since posted a correction.

So how many tracks is she selling? I’d estimate less than 40,000 in the U.S. last week and probably more this week.

Here’s why: On Tuesday morning, “Friday” ranged from #33 to #42 on iTunes and #95 at Amazon’s MP3 store. For the sake of argument, let’s say “Friday” is #42. In recent weeks, according to Nielsen SoundScan, the #42 overall track would have sold approximately 43,000 units. “Friday” was released on Tuesday, March 14.

Black appears to own the copyright to her sound recordings — the label is listed as “2011 Rebecca Black” on iTunes and Amazon MP3 lists “2011 Rebecca Black” in the “copyright” field of the song page. And for distribution, it appears Black is using CD Baby, which takes a 9% commission. Finally, take out 9.1 cents per track for mechanical royalties to the music publisher (“Friday” was written by Ark Music Factory, according to media reports).

Here’s the math: 43,000 tracks at $0.70 cents to the artist minus a 9% distribution fee, minus 0.91 cents apiece for mechanical royalties equals $24,900.

She may be pulling in a bit more money from YouTube views if she had the foresight to set up a content partner agreement before she got 30 million views. If so, that could amount to $15,000 to $20,000 for her 33 million views.

Yet for all that, “Friday” does not seem likely to sell millions. Keep in mind that Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” has sold about 1.65 million units in the U.S. in four weeks, and its official YouTube video has 23.5 million views. Those are huge numbers, even for an established pop icon with a massive marketing and promotion campaign in addition to a successful international tour.

But there’s a huge difference between Gaga’s 23.5 million views and Black’s 33 million views.

Black is a novelty artist who will have a difficult time turning curiosity and derision into actual sales. “American Idol” cast-off William Hung comes to mind as a comparison.

Black has certainly done remarkably well for an independent artist, but she won’t put up Gaga-like sales numbers.

[From Billboard va LA Times, WeSmirch]

This article smacks of condescension as it’s from Billboard and they’re peeved that any artist could independently sell over a million copies and get 37 million views (and counting) on YouTube without signing their first born over to the recording companies. They’re throwing shade on Black because they hate that they’re not getting a cut. Now that we’ve seen Justine Beaver, this chick, and countless other kids get semi-famous on YouTube you can expect plenty of copycats. Some actually have real talent and potential and will maintain the majority of control over their careers. That’s the real kicker for the recording companies.

Those non-recording contract kids aren’t doing that well anyway according to bitter executives, although they wouldn’t make much more under a major label even if they did sell millions. Artists under a typical recording contract can get less than 5 cents per download as opposed to the 70 cents that Black makes. The real money is in touring, which is why you see top selling artists like Lady Gaga busting their butts on the road and running themselves ragged trying to cram in gigs.

Katy Perry did an acoustic version of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” during a concert in Paris last night. I have to say that I’m surprised at how well she sings in this clip (she’s usually off key) and continue to be amazed at how much “Born This Way” sounds like “Express Yourself.” It seems like Katy sings better when she’s able to sit down and concentrate instead of having to wag her T&A all over the stage. She’s still not good enough to get to the top three on American Idol, but she can sing ok.

In related news about Katy, she’s been named the new face of British “hairstyling and appliance brand” ghd. New ads will appear featuring Katy and shot by David LaChapelle. ghd will also sponsor Katy’s European tour, which is currently on now. As US Magazine reviews, Katy currently reps Proactiv and Schick. Plus she has her own perfume. All she needs is a book, a reality show and a multiple clothing and shoe lines.

For comparison here’s Gaga doing Born this Way at the Grammys:

Katy is shown at Paris Fashion Week (with blue hair) on 3/8 (credit: Fame) and performing in Italy on 2/23/11. Credit: WENN.com

Willow Smith’s new music video was just released – it’s for her next big single, “21st Century Girl” which I think is the follow-up to “Whip My Hair”. Was there another song in the mix too? I forget, and I don’t care enough to look it up. Anyway, the video. It’s… um. There’s an old lady playing with bones for the first minute and a half. For real.

Things I like: the costumes are kind of cute, and I like that the outfits seem like “dress up clothes” for kids, rather than adult themed hooker-wear miniaturized for children. I also like that the dance moves aren’t provocative and sexy – Willow looks like a kid who enjoys dancing, and she’s not thrusting her hips or anything. I also like that Willow looks like she’s genuinely having fun, you know? She’s not pulling an angsty Raccoon McPantless and looking dour and sad.

What I don’t like: the song isn’t that great, and you can tell that Willow’s voice isn’t that strong. I also hated the old woman at the beginning. That’s about it.

So… in the end, not the worst video. Good production value, everything is age-appropriate and fun, and yet… I’m still concerned. Mostly because I think Willow should be in school right now.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

These are photos of Jennifer Lopez last night, celebrating something for American Idol (I don’t care what it was). Look at that outfit!! My God. Shorts, belly shirt and a puffy (PLAID!) jacket. It’s like she’s a Fly Girl again!! And look at her posing too! I realize I watch too much 30 Rock, but it really seems like J. Lo is doing Liz Lemon’s fake “sessy” posing. One thing is for sure, J. Lo is loving all of the attention that AI brings. She’s even been able to get a “do over” on her musical career. Her new music video, “On The Floor” just debuted and… um.

It’s not even a bad video, per se. It’s kind of cheesy and silly, and I laughed at some of the stuff, especially when Jennifer’s in that bird’s nest headpiece thing, and when she’s popping her butt in the spotlight (hahaha). It’s the SONG that bothers me. Jennifer doesn’t have a strong voice, but she used to make solid dance music. Is this a good dance song? I don’t think so. It’s sounds weak all over. More Kim Kardashian than Britney.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These photos are from Kim Kardashian’s music video shoot for her single, “Jam (Turn It Up)”. Kim put them on her blog – and the styling is hideous and ridiculous. I’ll say it once again – Kim is a pretty girl (or at least she used to be) but she has no idea how to style herself, she had no idea what looks good on her, and she is a terrible model, in general. Anyway, back to the subject at hand – Kim has a music career now. She got together with The Dream (a music producer) and they made beautiful music together. And then they cut this track:

It’s a terrible song. And Kim’s voice is so auto-tuned it’s barely recognizable. But isn’t it funny that even with all of the auto-tuning and all of the crap that’s used to disguise the fact that Kim has a terrible voice, that Kim still sounds utterly bored and vapid? She’s like, “Jam, Jam, whatever, zzzz…”

Kim wrote on her blog, “I can’t believe it’s finally released! This was definitely something that was out of my comfort zone, but I’m so glad that I met with The Dream and that we worked on this project together. It was really an amazing experience recording in the studio and filming the music video and I can’t wait for you all to see the video. You’ll be able to buy Jam on iTunes later today! A portion of the proceeds from the sales of the song will be donated to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.” Oh, Jesus. Don’t bring the children into it!!

UPDATE: I just added another video/recording of the song – there was an issue with the other video.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN & Kim’s Celebuzz site.

I really, really wish I had the time or the inclination to do a second-by-second analysis of Britney Spears’ new music video for “Hold It Against Me”. Alas, I do not. I will describe my first thoughts upon watching 30 seconds of the video: “So… a meteor… then Britney hawking her perfume line, I think… and Britney only dances on her top half while nothing happens below the waist… and Britney is a space-age Miss Havisham…?” Here’s the video:

Okay, stuff I like: I like her wig in the part where she’s dancing. I like Britney’s little white halter-bra thing for that part too. I like all of the cuts of her old videos too – that’s kind of cool. And I do like the song – compared to Gaga’s “Born This Way” I think “Hold It Against Me” is a better dance song.

Stuff I hate: I hate feeling so old, because these fast cuts are giving me a headache. I hate the “wedding dress”. I hate that they needed all of the fast cuts because Britney probably could only “perform” a few seconds at a time. And I hate the part where Britney is “fighting with herself”. Ugh.