Why is every member of the Simpson family trying to gross me out? It’s not enough that Ashlee and Jessica are constantly in the tabloids for various gross reasons, but we have to contend with the Simpson parents too. Joe “Pervert” Simpson memorably favors talking about Jessica’s anatomy in crude terms, like, calling her breasts “those suckers”. Now Tina Simpson, the matriarch of this little clan, is talking about Jessica’s breasts too.

Mama Simpson made a remark on Twitter, writing that she was driving home “in my GWagon with Jess…both are fast and top heavy.” Gross. Yes, we get it. Jessica has big boobs. And she’s a little trampy, like a fast car. Shut up, Mom!

Apparently Joe Simpson isn’t the only Simpson family member who likes to comment on Jessica’s assets.

Chatting with daughter Ashlee via Twitter, mom Tina recently wrote, “Driving home in my GWagon with Jess…both are fast and top heavy!”

Papa Joe raised eyebrows in 2004 when he told GQ that Jessica has “got double Ds! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

One thing’s for sure: Jessica has learned to like “those suckers.”

Over Easter weekend, she posted the following message to fans: “Why do we let the sun SET with its beauty, then find ourselves ugly. Didn’t God, whoever he may be to you, create both? If a sunset is beautiful, then so are we.”

[From US Magazine]

It’s one thing for your mother to mention something about your breast size over conversation at lunch. My mother has done this to me often, little remarks like “Maybe you need to go up one bra size” or “you get your boobs from your father’s side of the family”. But to actually twitter about your daughter’s breasts is just bad form. I’m so disappointed in Tina – I always thought she was the one Simpson woman with some intelligence.

Here are Jessica and Tina at Fashion Week, September 2007. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Nothing says romantic getaway quite like hearing your dad snoring in the next bedroom. Or worse, worrying about your parents hearing you while you’re going at it with your boyfriend. Gross, just gross. But apparently that’s how Jessica Simpson likes it. Or – more likely – how Joe Simpson likes it. Creepy-as-hell Papa Joe and his wife Tina joined Jessica and her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, on vacation in Los Cabos, Mexico last week. No that’s not creepy or weird, because Joe and Tina did the same thing when Jessica was married to Nick Lachey. Who could predict that their marriage wouldn’t work out?

Looks like Tony Romo already has an in with Jessica Simpson’s notoriously finicky father, Joe. They all went on vacation together! Simpson and Romo, who have been dating since November, arrived in Mexico via private jet with about seven friends at 9:30 p.m. January 3. After landing at the Cabo San Lucas Mexico airport, Simpson and Romo were spotted, “rubbing each others butts and laughing on the tarmac,” an eyewitness tells Usmagazine.com.

Later, the group — which included a few of Romo’s teammates and families, as well as Simpson’s parents, Joe and Tina — checked into a rented home nearby. “Tony couldn’t stop touching Jessica,” an eyewitness tells Us.

The next day, everyone enjoyed a lunch whipped up by their personal chef on the deck of their home. “They were having a great time, with Jess’ parents laughing and joking with Jess and Tony,” the onlooker added. “Tony was affectionate to Jess and everyone seemed very relaxed.”

[From Us Weekly]

How cute. And creepy. What do you want to bet Papa Joe tutored Tony Romo on the best moves to use on his daughter? He probably encouraged all that butt grabbing. No way does anyone in that family do anything without Papa Joe’s approval. Nick Lachey had to submit a written intercourse request with Joe at least two weeks prior to any sexual encounter. It had to include a detailed plan of action and required script approval from Joe. Jokes aside, after this family vacation, what do you want to bet Tony dumps Jessica within the next two weeks?