Angelina’s brother, James Haven, has a custom California license plate that pays tribute to his first biological niece. It reads “Shhiloh” and features a plate holder from the “Saddleback Church,” with the saying “You Matter to God.” Shiloh has the biblical meaning of “the peaceful one,” or the Messiah, so the plate holder may have a double meaning, and/or Angelina’s brother could be religious. (There has also been speculation that the 18 month-old is named after her place of conception.)

James Haven, Angelina’s older brother, is very devoted to his niece. On Thanksgiving Day, the actor was seen driving an SUV with the license plate “Shhiloh” in Beverly Hills. Of course, he’s the uncle of Angelina and Brad’s 18-month-old daughter, Shiloh. James was loading up his car with freshly baked pies and other goodies, says a witness.

[From In Touch weekly, print edition, December 10, 2007]

That’s cute and all, but isn’t it a somewhat stupid idea to get a custom license plate when you’re the brother of someone as famous as Angelina? It seems like James Haven should carefully protect his anonymity, but maybe it’s more important to him that he be recognized. He gives an interview about his sister just about every month, so he’s keen to capitalize on their relationship as much as possible. I was going to say something snarky about how it’s a good thing that Shiloh has blonde hair and looks just like her dad, but that’s just cruel to speculate about. A little public kissing between siblings doesn’t equal incest no matter how much we bring it up, and that’s old news. He’s just a proud uncle - and an out of work actor.

Header image was created by the Acme License Maker and a picture of James at the Mighty Heart premiere on 6/13/07. The image below is a scan from In Touch. Get this week’s edition to see the full version.

Note: The scan below was done for Celebitchy.

Last week, Entertainment Weekly had a list of Hollywood’s smartest people. I didn’t cover it because 99% of them are executives and business folks that the majority of us haven’t heard of/don’t care about. And the other one is Ben Affleck, and I find his intelligence debatable. He dated J-Lo. Though he did leave her two days before their wedding, so I guess that shows some brain power. So while it’s great to have a smartest list, let’s be honest – what we really want to know about are the dumbest. You have to wonder – let’s say you’re at the bottom of the dumbest list – meaning you’re the smartest of the people on there. Do you think celebrities are still egocentric enough to be flattered by that? That’s like being the cutest pig at the fair. I mean sure you’re the cutest, but you’re still a pig, so there’s only so many places your life can go.

Riffing on Entertainment Weekly’s recent list of Tinseltown’s smartest people, the New York Daily News flipped the script and slapped together a list of the “Top 50 Dumbest People in Hollywood.” Top/bottom of the heap was Lindsay Lohan at number one, for lousy career choices, rampant misbehavior and bad taste in men. Hard to argue with them on any of those counts, but we’re still rooting for LiLo to smarten up now that she has sobered up.

Also predictably landing in their top five was It boy Shia LaBeouf, “honored” for that inexplicable arrest stemming from his recent nocturnal Walgreens walkabout. Let’s hope he gets it together. Both Spencer Pratt and ladylove Heidi Montag make the list, but the mister lands in the top five for…well, if you watch The Hills, there really is no reason to explain.

[From E! News]

Wondering about the top five smartest of the dumbest? Well the biggest genius is Tom Sizemore, probation violator, followed by our dear friend Joe Francis. Joe – who’s vociferously complained about the food in prison, is actually considered smarter than the next cheeseburger loving guy on the list, David Hasselhoff. The best of the worst is rounded out by Michelle Rodriguez (labeled a “public nuisance”) and Vanessa Hudgens (Disney star, nude picture poser).

You’ve got to admit, that’s a little more interesting than learning about Daniel Battsek, the president of Miramax. Sure we’re glad he’s smart and does whatever he does, but best as I can tell from my internet research, he hasn’t done jello shots off a naked male prostitute with Lindsay Lohan, so I don’t really know what else to say about him.

A surprising (at least to me) entry on the dumbest list was Jennifer Love Hewitt at number 17. After all the other people, the Daily News said something derogatory that gave you an idea as to their reasoning for calling the person dumb. My favorite was number 22, which lists “Wilmer Valderamma, actor?” Love the question mark. But nothing besides “actress” was listed for Hewitt. I’m going to assume it’s because they had some problem with her work in “Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties.” Though I can’t imagine why.

Have you seen those commercials with Montel Williams? He drives around on a bus, doling out prescriptions (or I guess prescription assistance) to Americans who don’t have insurance, all the while assuring us that America’s drug companies really do care about our health. How calming and reassuring. It turns out Montel isn’t just the pretty face for their television ad campaign. He actually does go around doing publicity for the Partnership for Prescription Assistance. No word on if he actually does it in the big PPA bus though.

Montel was giving an interview in Savannah on Friday when Courtney Scott , a high school intern reporter, asked him, “Do you think pharmaceutical companies would be discouraged from research and development if their profits were restricted?” Seems like a fair and well thought out question. Apparently Montel didn’t agree. He very angrily responded, “I’m trying to figure out exactly why you are here and what the interview is about. I’m here as a patient advocate talking about the fact that medications available today are saving people’s lives, that’s what’s saving mine and after that, this interview is done.” Seems awkward and weird, but I doubt anyone would have made anything of it. Except that was just the beginning.

When the Savannah Morning-News reporters later returned to the hotel for an unrelated assignment, he approached one of them - high school student Courtney Scott, an intern at the newspaper. “As we were preparing to film, Montel walked up with his bodyguard and got in Courtney Scott’s face pointing his finger telling her ‘Don’t look at me like that. Do you know who I am? I’m a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up,’” said Joseph Cosey, a web content producer for the newspaper. “At this time he was randomly pointing at all of us.”

Scott said she wasn’t sure how to interpret Williams’ comment. “I’m not sure if he meant ‘blow me up’ and ruin my career or really blow us up, but it was threatening,” Scott said.

Williams, a patient advocate since being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, later issued a statement apologizing for the outburst. “I mistakenly thought the reporter and photographer in question were at the hotel to confront me about some earlier comments,” Williams said. “I was wrong, and I apologize for my overreaction.”

[From the Huffington Post]

Sounds like Montel might want to consider adding a few antipsychotics to his pill regimen. I’m guessing that’s the equivalent of swag with the PPA. From his apology, I don’t think Montel quite understands what he did wrong. The problem wasn’t that he threatened the reporters even though they weren’t there for him; the problem was that he threatened them at all. Even if they were there for him, it’s probably not a good idea to threaten to blow people up. Especially in a public setting. Oh, and especially with reporters. What with that great access to the press and all. Probably also not the greatest plan to threaten to harm a high school student. Again, that’s just me, but I’d at least aim my comments at the adults. But I’m old fashioned that way. When I threaten to blow someone up, I get a glance at their driver’s license first, just to be safe.

On Thursday we told you that Jennifer Love Hewitt got engaged, and that most of the press about her engagement focused instead on recent unflattering pictures of her in a bikini. I thought the criticisms were a too harsh – no one looks as good as they do when they’ve got professional lighting, fuzzy lenses, and retouchers. But as a result of all the professional lighting, fuzzy lenses, and retouchers, our perception of how people are “supposed” to look becomes skewed. Though there were a few commenters who called her fat/overweight/unhealthy, it seems that the majority of you believe that Jennifer has a nice and normal body. She’s certainly put on weight in the last ten years, but who has the exact same body they did at eighteen?

In the last few years Jennifer has ignored the bad press her curvy figure has received, but finally felt the need to respond to all the hate going around about her ass. On her website Jennifer wrote:

This is the last time I will address this subject. I’ve sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women’s bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I’m not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image. A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn’t make you beautiful.

What I should be doing is celebrating some of the best days of my life and my engagement to the man of my dreams, instead of having to deal with photographers taking invasive pictures from bad angles. I know what I look like, and so do my friends and family. And like all women out there should, I love my body.

To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini – put it on and stay strong.

[From safesearching.com/jenniferlovehewitt]

I’m not sure if Jennifer was saying that a size 2 isn’t fat as a general rule, or saying that she’s a size 2 and not fat. I think she just put her sentences in a funny order that makes it a bit confusing. Regardless, it’s pretty clear that she has a healthy body image and a good perspective. She points out that she’s just gotten engaged, and people aren’t even talking about that – they’re talking about her ass. I think she looks gorgeous and will make a beautiful, healthy and happy bride.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ross McCall are shown in Hawaii this weekend, thanks to Splash News.

As far as rich parents go, I have to say that being Madonna’s kid would not be on the top of my wish list. I’d probably start with Victoria Beckham or someone known for flaunting and needlessly squandering their money. At the very least, I’d aim for a rich parent that was known not to pay a lot of attention to their home life. Madonna – long known as a pretty extreme control freak – brings her highly regimented lifestyle into every facet of her existence – including holidays. It seems that her kids only get three Christmas presents. Though considering last week I read that they didn’t even celebrate Christmas, three presents seems like a pretty good deal.

Santa Claus keeps it sparse when it comes to the Madonna-Ritchie household. “The kids are only allowed three presents,” Guy Ritchie told Extra in an interview airing Friday. But their children — Lourdes, 11, Rocco, 7 and adopted son David Banda, 2 — don’t seem to mind. “As long as the kids get three presents at Christmas, everyone’s being happy,” he said.

Ritchie, 39, said more little ones may be on the way for the Material Mom, 49. “Who knows?” he said. “My wife and myself like kids so we’ll have to wait and see what happens.”

Ritchie also debunked rumors that he and his family are converting to Judaism. (Madonna and co. study Kabbalah, a form of Jewish mysticism.) “I don’t think anyone’s converted to Judaism in my family,” he said. “I’m completely unaware of that. I have not converted to Judaism and neither has my wife.”

[From Us Weekly]

I’m not sure Madonna should have more kids. They might cut into her vigorous workout schedule or something. Remember the first day she brought David home [why in the world haven’t they changed his last name?] she still made sure to leave the kid with a nanny so she could get her gym time in. Normally I would say a celebrity not over-indulging their kid is a good thing, but I really don’t think Madonna’s type-a-to-the-extreme personality should be praised. Let’s hope it’s at least three REALLY expensive presents.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Madonna and Guy Richie are shown at the Revolver screening in NY last night. Thanks to WENN for this picture.

Many times I have written articles about pregnant celebrities and mentioned how absolutely terrified I am of the concept of giving birth. I mean I want to have kids more than anything in the world, but I really wish I could pick them up at the local market, instead of growing them from scratch. Well it turns out all of my fears have been diminished. Why? Because not-very-well-respected-anymore singer Joss Stone wants to be a midwife. And what rational person wouldn’t want a barefoot-in-public, purple-hair-sporting quasi-soul-singer pulling a baby out of you? That’s right, no one.

Joss sat down for an intimate question and answer with the Sydney Morning Herald, and talked about her plans for the future and her struggles as an artist.

At midnight, sitting in a Swiss hotel room, the rest of her life weighs comfortably on the conversation. “I really don’t plan on dying and saying I was just a singer,” says Joss Stone, thinking about her future. “I want to do many different things. I’m really excited to see what’s going to happen in the next couple of years because it’s not going to be the same.”

“I would actually like to go back to school, which is funny because I really hated school with a passion. I’d like to go back and do some degrees and I want to be a midwife, actually. I think that would take me about three years.”

[From the Sydney Morning Herald]

Well I feel relieved. I love how almost all celebrities say they’re going to do this or that other thing because they know what they’re doing isn’t helping people and they want to enrich their lives and all that stuff. How often does it come to fruition? I know there’s a couple famous people out there that have tried their hands at other professions, but how many have done so successfully? Can anyone think of a well respected actor/cardiothoracic surgeon? A brilliant model/trial lawyer? An esteemed former-teen-prodigy soul singer/midwife? It’s just too weird. I mean it’s cute for a movie of the week, but you don’t want someone like that between your legs.

Incidentally, spending a bit too much time between her producers’ legs is exactly how Joss Stone got her current reputation/lost all credibility as an artist.

Ashley Tisdale is going for the classic “deviated septum” line. It’s weird how all the people with ugly noses in Hollywood have major septum issues that don’t seem to affect the general ugly nose population. [Dlisted]
Jay-Z is An Emotional Guy [Bossip]
“The Savages” review [Pajiba]
Amy Winehouse is f**king insane [Celebslam]
Paris Hilton Is Afflicted. That’s the gentlest way anyone’s ever put it [Yeeeah!]
Kate Moss On Vacation [I'm Not Obsessed]
Bai Ling @ The Peapod Foundation Presents The APL Benefit 2007 [The Bastardly]
Carrie Underwood looking gorgeous at the “Movies Rock: A Celebration of Music in Film” [In Case You Didn't Know]
Tara Reid Drunk in Australia. Though it’s fair to assume that on any given day, Tara Reid is drunk somewhere (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
Britney Spears Celebrates Her Birthday with Paris [Hollywood Rag]
Remember Joan Van Ark? She’s now the scariest celebrity you will ever see. Not suitable for kids or anyone prone to night terrors. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
The Sadistic Posh Spice [Agent Bedhead]
Former American Idol contestant Jessica Sierra isn’t very friendly [The Blemish]
Christina Ricci - Anna Wintour Mind Meld [CityRag]
Avril Gets A Pedicure–Tells Fans To Eat Cake [Crazy Days and Nights]
Brad Pitt Brings Pink to Make It Right in New Orleans. I’m not sure if that’s going to help or hurt [Popsugar]
Jordan is a skank, but she does have nice legs [The Grumpiest]
Brandon Davis Has a Plan [Evil Beet]
Beyonce: Dangerous curves ahead [Gabsmash]
Renee Zellweger needs to fix her hair [CelebWarship]
Best Britney pic I’ve seen all year [I Don't Like You In That Way]
Criss Angel Looks Pretty Rough. That’s what happens when you sleep with Cameron Diaz. [Glitterati Gossip]
Milla Jovovich Tells Why She Named Her Daughter Ever [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Mary J. Blige wants us to ‘work that’ [Popbytes]
The Kennedy Center Honors Diana Ross, Steve Martin and Others [A Socialite's Life]
Diane Kruger @ Movies Rock 2007 [Just Jared]
More of Christina Aguilera Naked and Pregnant [Egotastic!]
Jimmy Kimmel takes care of his staff [Lifeline Live]
Whoopi Tears Oprah a New One [Best Week Ever]

Nicole Kidman’s new role in The Golden Compass isn’t making her any friends among children or Christians.

It seems the movie features a church, called the Magisterian (which is also the name of the Catholic Church teaching authority), which steals children from their homes and takes them away to the frozen northern wasteland to be experimented on. The books are quite scathing of the church, but the movie version doesn’t feature this heavily.

However, the sanitised version of Pullman’s book has failed to appease the Catholic League, which has 350,000 members, and which has already been sending out leaflets denouncing the film.

“The Catholic League wants Christians to stay away from this movie precisely because it knows that the film is bait for the books,” said president William Donohue.

“Unsuspecting parents who take their children to see the movie may be impelled to buy the three books as a Christmas present. And no parent who wants to bring their children up in the faith will want any part of these books,” he added.

[From Sydney Morning Herald]

Actually, I don’t think any parent should want their kids to see the film. It features children being experimented on, Nicole Kidman as a scary witch with a ferocious monkey as a sidekick, and polar bears fighting. I’m not sure if this is actually a children’s movie. It’s being called a cross between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, but the studio doesn’t have enough confidence in the movie to end it in the cliffhanger the book does.

In the film the characters have their souls represented by an animal that best reflects them. In real life, what would Nicole Kidman’s be?

“It changes. Yesterday it was a kitten, ’cause I love milk and” - she giggled - “I like to be patted and taken care of and sleep a lot. Today it’s changed, and it’s a tiger.”

[From Boston Herald]

Congratulations Nicole on giving this year’s most cliche answer in an interview. I suspect that this won’t be a category at next year’s Academy Awards.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Thanks to AllMoviePhoto for these pictures from the film.

Remember Siegfried and Roy? They’re a German American duo whose show was mandatory viewing on the Las Vegas strip, right up until one of the tigers used in their act decided to maul half of the team.

Well, it seems that you can recover well from tiger mauling, which is good news for any zoo keeper/Vegas entertainer. The last report I heard on the Australian Today Show was that Roy was still partially paralyzed and couldn’t walk, so this is definitely an improvement on that report.

Restless after four years of retirement, illusionists Siegfried and Roy are hinting they still have something up their sleeves.

Asked about their rumored return to show business, Roy coyly responded: “A good magician never lets the cat out of the bag. Act surprised when you hear about it.”

Added Siegfried: “It’s all in the experimental stage, conceptual,” he said Friday in a rare interview.

Las Vegas Review Journal

Seigfried and Roy were placed nine of the list of America’s highest paid celebrities, and it was suggested that their act was worth $45 million in ticket sales to the Mirage, plus money spent by guests seeing the show within the hotel. Siegfried and Roy were contracted to the Mirage for life, or until tiger mauling.

But at the end of November the tiger habitat in the hotel was closed, and was being turned into a restaurant called BLT Burger.

The incident that broke up the act was when Roy tripped, and a tiger named Montecore picked up Roy in the same fashion it would a cub, except that Roy doesn’t have thick, loose fur and his neck and instead almost bled to death. Seems the tiger might be smart enough to do tricks but not smart enough to tell the difference between humans and cubs. This is probably a result of the breeding program Siegfried and Roy implemented to ensure an unlimited supply of white tigers, if not smart white tigers.

If you’re fainthearted, then don’t read this – heres’ the details of Roy’s surgery:

Horn was listed in critical condition for several weeks thereafter, and was said to have suffered a stroke and partial paralysis. Doctors removed one-quarter of his skull to relieve the pressure of his swelling brain during an operation known as a decompressive craniectomy. The portion of skull was placed in a pouch in Horn’s abdomen in the hope of replacing it later.

Wikipedia

That is amazing, storing your body parts for later use in your own body. Well, I’m impressed.

Note by Celebitchy: Congratulations to Roy on his amazing recovery. It doesn’t seem like he should be that keen to work on the stage with dangerous cats again, and maybe he should reconsider. I remember reading that he suffered from a stroke on stage from high blood pressure before the attack and that he believed that the tiger was trying to save him. He had worked onstage with animals multiple times a week for 35 years without a scratch before the incident.

Siegfried and Roy are shown at Elizabeth Taylor’s 75th birthday party on 2/27/07. Thanks to WENN for this photo.

Scott Weiland is a very naughty boy. And I can only imagine very unpopular with his fellow bandmates, who were meant to be rockin’ out Down Under tonight, not trying to avoid media scrutiny because their singer is in trouble for drug use again.

Velvet Revolver singer Scott Weiland, who has struggled with drug addiction for much of his music career, was arrested for driving under the influence on November 21 in Los Angeles. He is due in court on December 13.

According to a copy of the arrest report posted by TMZ.com on Monday (December 3) and confirmed by a California law-enforcement source, Weiland was driving on a Los Angeles highway around 6:18 p.m. of the 21st when he was involved in a non-injury collision in which it was determined he was at fault. “While the police were investigating the traffic collision, Weiland exhibited signs of impairment,” the report read. “The investigation officer administered a series of field sobriety tests to the driver, which he was unable to satisfactorily perform.”

The singer was arrested for driving under the influence of a drug and then taken to the LAPD jail in Van Nuys, California, where he allegedly refused to take a blood or urine test. He was later released on $40,000 bail, an amount that is much higher than the typical misdemeanor bail in such a case, likely due to the singer’s prior arrests.

MTV

This isn’t the first time he has been involved in a car accident and been charged with drug and alcohol use. On October 27th 2003 Scott was charged with DUI, but the charges were dropped after a visit to rehab. Scott’s unlikely to be that lucky a second time.

Scott is planning on writing a memoir, which would probably be good reading. He claims to have spent a month in a hotel room using drugs with Courtney Love, and has been in jail and rehab a few times. When he can make time he’s also had a fairly successful music career with Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver.

Of course, writing a memoir can be pretty difficult if you can’t remember large chunks of your life. Do you usually interview people to find out what happened to yourself? Do you wake up in strange cities with no memory of getting yourself back to the tour bus? Are you frequently denied visas to foreign countries because of your dubious personal history? Has your wife ever set fire to your clothes?

You could be suffering from the rock and roll lifestyle.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Scott Weiland is shown in the header image at the Hedwig And The Angry Inch VIP viewing on 4/3/06, thanks to PR Photos. The mug shot that is shown below is from Weiland’s November 2001 arrest for battering his wife, thanks to The Smoking Gun.