Léa Seydoux is promoting a new film that sounds bleak AF yet infuriatingly relevant. Gentle Monster follows Léa’s concert pianist protagonist as she grapples with her husband being investigated for having disturbing material on his computer. In a terrible real life parallel, writer-director Marie Kreutzer penned the screenplay after the star of her previous film faced the same charges. The movie is in theaters on Friday before streaming on Netflix November 18.
So Léa is out promoting Gentle Monster and, thankfully, her new interview with Elle UK could not be further in tone from the subject matter of the film. The segment is called “Léa Seydoux’s Guide To Being French,” with much of it framed as French vs. British across several categories, among them desserts. A PA (whose face we never see) brings a succession of desserts, alternating between French and Britich delicacies, for Léa to judge, and judge she does. Even the supposably “French” treats she derides as being British versions/poor imitations, before proceeding to specify why each item is a failure. It’s simply glorious! If that word isn’t too effusive for Léa’s aloof French sensibilities…
She began by discussing French stereotypes, admitting that she probably fits into a number of them. “The French are quite snobbish; they think that their taste is the best,” she said. “They’re often quite secure about themselves and have a very dry sense of humor. They are very nonchalant… They eat, drink coffee.”
Well, that brings us to another segment of the video, where Léa was presented with a number of British and French “delicacies” to try and give her “honest thoughts” on. However, the segment did not appear to go as planned.
First, she was given a pain au chocolat, which she examined for a few moments before declaring that it was “really not good” and she couldn’t eat it.
“It’s not fresh. There’s not enough chocolate in it. It’s too thick. Sorry, I will not try it,” she said, before sliding the plate away from her to the other side of the table.
Next, she was served a traditional English dessert called Eton mess, which is a mixture of strawberries or other berries, meringue, and whipped cream.
Once again, Léa looked pretty disturbed. And though she said she’d “maybe” try it, she swiftly pushed the plate aside.
Then it was back to French food, and Léa was presented with a couple of macarons. “They’re not my favorites,” she said, taking one in her hand for closer inspection. “I don’t know why people love them.”
However, my favorite bit of the video came when she was handed a slice of traditional British Victoria sponge cake. She peered down at it on the plate for a couple of seconds before saying, “For me, I don’t see the purpose.”
If you hadn’t already guessed, the rest of the segment continues just like this. The only “delicacy” that Léa was reluctantly willing to try was a British scone with clotted cream and jam.
With an air of trepidation, she tore a little piece off the side and ate it. “Not bad,” she said, which, compared to the other dishes, feels like a glowing review.
This whole clip took me back to the last season of Modern Family, when they’re in Paris (because that whole family ALWAYS traveled everywhere together) and Mitch is disappointed that he’s clocked as being American by all the locals. So he starts turning his nose up and saying no to everything, and voila: they think he’s French! I genuinely don’t think Léa was trying to be mean. But she had to be honest! To be fair to Léa, Elle UK did ask her to describe a stereotypical French person. Well, she’s an actress, so she performed that description! The whole thing is such a hoot. Even before they trot out the desserts — which again, Léa ate none of save for one small bite of the scone that she said was “Not bad” with a shrug, the highest praise doled out. Even before that, Léa is asked what British dish should be served to a French person to win them over to British cuisine, and Léa just shuts it down from the get. She’s like, “Your food is not good, it’s very difficult for us French to eat here… But you have a great sense of humor!” I’d say so do the French, because that exchange was hilarious.
Anyway, Team Léa all the way. Life’s too short to waste precious stomach space on British inferior desserts! And macarons are entirely overrated. I said what I said!
photos credit: Lionel Guericolas/Avalon, Frédéric Batier/Netflix, IMAGO/Avalon, Olivier Huitel/Avalon
I know that the “British cuisine is inedible” stereotype is generally unfair, but so many of their desserts really are not great. It certainly doesn’t help that they often give them the most unappetizing names imaginable. Eton mess? It already sounds like somebody sat on a proper dessert, and the actual appearance seems to confirm it. Spotted dick? Gross. I remember seeing something called “flies’ graveyard” on a pub menu once when I went to visit my ex over there, and I have no idea what it is, but why would you call anything that?! And “sponge” (which I know isn’t exclusive to the UK) always sounds to me like an inept baker knows that their cake sucks and is just trying to lower expectations.
My “say something nice” about British cuisine: proper, fresh clotted cream is incredible. Just give it to me straight-up. Berries, jams, and scones are a distraction!
As for macarons, I think that even the very best ones are underwhelming. I was raised Catholic, but most of my family is Jewish, so I associate macarons with all the good desserts being off-limits for Passover (and yes, I know they’re not the same as macaroons, which also suck).
Macarons are criminally overrated!
Yes, they’re totally overrated. I used to think I was just unlucky and hadn’t tried any good ones because I never liked them. Then, when I was in Paris, I tried lots of different ones in the best patisseries, and they still weren’t good. I’d rather treat myself to an éclair.