Linnocent is back to being a fall-down drunk at the Chateau Marmont

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Ah, Linnocent. So much crack, so little time. More than a month ago, back when Linnocent was under house arrest (and partying her crack off the whole time), Linnocent tested positive for alcohol during one of her court-ordered drug tests. Linnocent was forced to trot her ass back into court to face the judge, and wouldn’t you know, she got sent home without even a slap on the wrists. The gist of it was that the judge clarified her own ruling – Linnocent was ordered to have drug tests, but she could drink, despite the fact that Linnocent has been in and out of rehab a million times and that she’s always claiming to be “sober” (even when she drunkenly beat the hell out of a Betty Ford employee).

Anyway, after Linnocent’s house arrest was over and she was told to focus on getting her community service hours completed, Linnocent has of course gone back to her hard-partying ways. Reportedly, she and Paris Hilton are back to be being BFFs, and the Hilton girls and Linnocent had some kind of epic 3-day bender over the weekend. And now guess what? She’s back at the Chateau Marmont, blitzed out of her skull:

Lindsay Lohan is back to what she does best, partying late and falling over in public, according to spies at LA’s Chateau Marmont. Fresh off her all-weekend party with Paris Hilton, La Lohan was back in vintage form at the celebrity hangout on Monday night.

A witness told us, “She was in the bathroom and told her friend, ‘Oh, my God, do you think everyone saw me fall flat on my face? I hate myself.’ Then she stepped on my foot so hard.”

The spy said Lohan, in a short, black romper suit and strappy heels with her hair in a bun, “looked wobbly, and on her way back to her table outside stumbled over again. The next time she got up, hotel security had to give her a hand.”

Lohan partied in front of more demure stars including Olivia Wilde and Emily Blunt, who remained low-key — at separate tables — and left at about 1 a.m. with her friends.

Lohan’s rep fired back, “As usual, a pack of lies from people with nothing better to do with their lives than make up stories about a famous person.”

[From Page Six]

The rep then screamed, “Move that cone, I’m SO LINNOCENT!” And then the rep asked, “Hey, do you know where I can score around here?”

So, Linnocent is back to being a sloppy drunk. Officially, I guess.

Did you want to see the puppet commercial she did a few days ago? It’s sad. Linnocent looks like she wants to snort the puppet.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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118 Responses to “Linnocent is back to being a fall-down drunk at the Chateau Marmont”

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  1. seal team 6 says:

    *ripping open new package of crackscotti*

    Glad she doesn’t need any alcohol or drug testing.

    CAREER CRIMINAL!!!

    her whole clan is just plain trashy.

  2. Strawberrygirl says:

    She’s a lost cause.

  3. lucy2 says:

    Permanent mess.

  4. the original bellaluna says:

    *mixing batch of cracktinis*

    Well, I wondered how long it would take her to try to upstage Samro’s DUI bust on that thread, and now I know: not long at all!

    I wonder how proud of herself that judge is right about now…?

  5. That girl says:

    How do you bounce back from te situation she’s got herself in? She’s along about wanting an Oscar?! Ma, Pllllleassse.

  6. brin says:

    My day is complete. *sips a lintini and waits for fellow cracktailers*

  7. *Roxy* says:

    Wonder what she’s going to do next to draw attention

  8. Kelly says:

    I’ve seen those photos any number of times before, and I still cannot get over how bad her skin looks. The third one down – the profile – the skin damage, the forehead wrinkles… She looks like she could be a casino employee in Barstow who smokes 3 packs of Virginia Slims a day and just can’t seem to quit her ex, Bobby, even though he’s in and out of County all the time.

  9. the original bellaluna says:

    *waves @ brin & Seal Team* – I’m here! Ha-ha – I’m loving the ad for the rehab place next to her picture! Priceless! “Get Help for Alcoholism NOW!”

    (My EC/LR comment is still on mod)

  10. gendieu says:

    i’m here just for the awful lohan pictures

  11. jeebus says:

    Jeez, this girl will never get it right will she?? and I bet TMZ (my usual stomping ground) won’t bother to post this story either!

  12. Susan O. says:

    Is this our very own Amy Winehouse minus any talent? She’s so soaked in alcohol it’s oozing out of her pores. A wreck of a girl!

  13. OhMyMy says:

    Well if this is how she wants to live her life then more power to her I guess. Whooo-Hooo!!!! You go girl!!

    You be the most awesome, craziest, bestest, freakiest little party monster out there!

    Just stop pretending you’re still Hollywood A-list and soon to be in another starring role again. Stick a fork in her…she’s done.

    Pass me a lintini and cracksotti please.

    Thanks!

  14. Boo says:

    Jeebus, you’re right (I’m CoolPhosphorescentShimmer there) –they won’t cover it. She must be paying them not to print this stuff. What floors me is that we are to believe that everyone is lying about her all the time…yet the media ONLY targets HER. Why? I would think lying about higher-caliber celebrities would garner more hits.

    Much buzz about her Gotti role being not-so-certain. How long before Fiore, and thus her Fiore-funded spokesperson–vamoose?

  15. brin says:

    Hey bellaluna… knew you’d be here…have a lintini & please pass them around.

  16. Thea says:

    We need a damn 352 Days Of Cracken Calendar featuring Lindsay partying, boozing, mug shots, so when I have a pity party and feel bad about my life, I can look at this pathetic, sad child/woman druggie and know that I am really in a hell of a lot better place.

  17. sapphire says:

    Canapes ala percocet are here! Ladies,good to see the usual suspects.

    Proof, if you needed it, of the truly stupid: drunk in a public place. Cell phone cameras anyone?

  18. Jazz says:

    Partying with the Hilton trash isn’t going to end well. I used to like Nicky better than Paris but she’s probably as much of a bitch as her sister is. This crack trick must party her crack off every damn night, I bet it stopped being fun a long time ago. Probably can’t stand the sight of herself in the mirror anymore. Unless she’s doing a line off of it.

  19. seal team 6 says:

    It is sacrilege to mention Emily Blunt and Olivia Wilde in the same paragraph as Linncoent. Especially Emily Blunt.

    *snorting cracktinis and crushed crackscotti*

  20. ladybert62 says:

    Oh goodie – a lintinni and cracksotti for breakfast! Please pass some over here too pretty please – I am famished! Thanks to Lindsay I have gained 30 cyber pounds from this site! ha ha

  21. seal team 6 says:

    I would actually buy a 365 Days of Cracken calendar. Seriously.

  22. Turtle Dove says:

    So… after looking at the video I’ve determined that Lindsay has next to no furniture and what she has got is from IKEA.

    So much for celebrities living the high life.

    pa-pa-pum (hits a cymbal)

  23. ladybert62 says:

    I like that calendar idea – maybe ms lohan will make it and actually have some legal earned income this year.

  24. Hautie says:

    Well at least Lohan is consistent in one thing. Being a public train-wreck.

    It looks official now, that she has no interest in ever being insurable again. Being a falling down drunk/crackhead is her ultimate life style.

    And those pictures of her orange face and frosted lilac lipstick… never get old. :)

  25. the original bellaluna says:

    @ brin & sapphire – Yum! Thanks.

    Oh, I would totally pay for (that’s “steal” in Blohanese) a 365 Days of Cracken calendar. Hell, I might treat myself to the day-planner, too! :)

  26. kieslwoski says:

    @seal team your comments are brilliant, I would so love a 365 days of Cracken Calendar – LOL, you just made my day!

    I love Linoccent posts the comments are the best part and then of coourse the messed up photos of Cracky herself.

  27. RocketMerry says:

    I’m waiting for Innocent to come and tell us how INNOCENT Linnocent is.

  28. seal team 6 says:

    @Rocketmerry —

    hahaha — me too!

  29. the original bellaluna says:

    I’m waiting for Innocent to convey that calendar idea to Blohan. She could have one out in time for 2012 (fitting, no?) I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. :D

    (mod jail again) :(

  30. Bess says:

    In my opinion, Lohan will be able to earn just enough income through doing low budget commercials and photo shoots to keep her little party lifestyle going.

    I can’t believe the people financing the Gotti movie aren’t having second thoughts about working with LiLo. Her recent actions show that she really hasn’t straightened out her life and that she sees no reason to change her habits.

  31. Rita says:

    @bellaluna-”Mod jail again”….I’ve been in here forever. Be happy you’re just on probation. By the way, I’m out of “tissue”, could you pass some under the partition?

    Linnocent has nothing left but the party scene which means she’s bored out of her skull. There’s an epic crash coming.

  32. Hellen says:

    “…Lohan will be able to earn just enough income through doing low budget commercials and photo shoots…”

    And whoring.

  33. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Rita – Yeah, you’re here! *passes tissue & cracktini through bars* I just left a funny message for our “clique” on the EC/LR post.

    And it’s like Crackmas in August! A Samro post, a LR post, AND a Linnocent post. My cup (of cracktinis) runneth over!

  34. sapphire says:

    @Rita and Bellaluna-there’s a file in the canape….

  35. skinanny says:

    It’s only a matter of time! Think….
    Winehouse….What a waste!!!!!!

  36. ladybert62 says:

    You ladies are a riot! Brightening up my day, you all are! Thanks to you and linnocent!

  37. 4Real says:

    I said it once and I’ll say it again. The moment Brit Brit shaved her head and had every news station reporting on her daily a light bulb went off in this MORON’S cracked out head.

  38. dread pirate cuervo says:

    There needs to be a Shitshow Showdown starring LiLo & Paz de la Huerta. Someone has to make this happen.

  39. snapnhiss says:

    Why did that NZ creature have an Italian (Transylvanian?) accent?

  40. brin says:

    @bellaluna…lol “Crackmas in August”!
    We definitely hit the crack lottery today!

    @dread pirate cuervo…yes, please…that would be EPIC!

  41. gee says:

    @dread pirate cuervo, that would make my summer.

    I freakning love these Linnocent posts.

  42. brin says:

    By the way, I think the crack calendar is a great idea. May I suggest that first picture of Crackie blowing a kiss be on the Feb. page, so perfect for Valentine’s Day!

  43. seal team 6 says:

    And, the SCREEEEE Cracken photo for the first day of Summer, or Memorial Day.

  44. Madisyn says:

    Ah, yes. The pictures of health and sobriety. LMFAO.

    TMZ stated the obvious in the voice over of the webisode, “final nail in her career coffin”. We over here, at Celebitchy have been saying that for years with every new cracknanigan.

    @ brin, my day too is complete. Loves it when we get a Blohan and Whines post.

    @ Boo and Jeebus, you know I’ve noticed a little pattern, see if you agree. Not too long ago TMZ seemed to have the ‘exclusives’ on Blohan, positive articles and RADAR reported only on her cracknaigans. Then TMZ started printing all things Blohan in a negative light and RADAR reported positive. Now, it seems we’re back to TMZ-positive, RADAR-negative. I can’t help but wonder, do Dina and Blohan put their crack heads together and negotiate ‘deals’ with these two websites to promote ‘positive’ articles on Blohan for exclusives? Meaning money?

  45. Quest says:

    Sorry I’m late ladies, but LL never seems to disappoint. *toss to all*

  46. seal team 6 says:

    Oh yes, this is the last nail in her legit career coffin, methinks. look at everything she’s done this past year, and gotten away with. The positive alcohol test was the first bang on the final nail, and this crackhead replay of 2007 crackie antics with Paris and Greasy drove that nail into the coffin. Plus, she still has all that CS to do.

    Maybe linnocent will be ticked SamRo got a bunch of (negative) press, and will do something cracktastic this weekend (oh please!).

  47. brin says:

    @seal team 6….Yes, perfect! And any picture of her after she’s taken a tumble for the first day of Fall…lol!

  48. seal team 6 says:

    @Madisyn –

    I think your “pattern theory” is probably true.

  49. Madisyn says:

    @ Sapphire

    “@Rita and Bellaluna-there’s a file in the canape….” Brilliant! Pass me the file when you ladies are done and most importantly, “GET ME A CRACKTINI, I’M MADISYN!” (in that ‘Move that cone, I’m Lindsay Lohan!’ obnoxious tone/voice)

    @ bellaluna, Rita, and brin, I’m taking off my “TCC” ‘jacket’. To all the Crack Tailgatin’ ladies, I’m taking off my “Crack Clique” ‘jacket’ as well. Its going to be around 100 degree for the next seven days in the valley in So Cal. I’m sweating like a ‘Lohan’ in church.

    I think we need T-shirts or tank tops, with no bra of course, on days like this. Cheaper to make too!

  50. seal team 6 says:

    @brin –

    Yes! And Winter can be a photo of her with coke on her face.

  51. OhMyMy says:

    “Move that cone!!!” “I’m Lindsay Lohan!!!”

    http://justcapshunz.icanhascheezburger.com/2011/08/01/funny-captions-look-im-a-penguin-lol/?ref=ichc822011

    Sorry…I just had to.

  52. gg says:

    RELEASE THE CRACKEN!

  53. Leigh says:

    I love Rico and Air NZ’s ad campaign.
    Snoop is in one, and it’s pretty funny…

    Lilo is a freaking mess.
    Someone needs to take the crack whore outta LA and get her some more healthy influences and a better lifestyle..

  54. Madisyn says:

    @ Seal Team

    “Yes! And Winter can be a photo of her with coke on her face” OR WITH COKE IN HER SHOES!

    And for any ‘FALL’ month, Sept., Oct., or Nov., the imfamous photo of her face planting in that poor, poor catcus.

  55. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Oh, you’re lovely. But we both know that a Lohan would burst into flames on setting foot in a church! *hands cracktini w/ vodka melon balls through bars* I think us ladies should market that 365 Days of the Cracken calendar, before Innocent tells Blohan about the idea! We definitely need to add the one of her on her knees outside that NY club for a “fall” month.

    And we can certainly have tanks or tees made. Join me in my over 100 degree heat, Sister. (And I have the added bonus of humidity, since I’m in the NoCali inland. The melon balls are particularly refreshing in this heat.) ;)

    @ sapphire – Yes, thank you for the file. *passes on to Madisyn*

  56. TL says:

    The next Amy Whinehouse

  57. seal team 6 says:

    It is literally 99% humidity here, and has been, so no sympathy!!!

    The cracktinis, however, make me so trashed I don’t care. *slurpsnort*

  58. Isa says:

    I know, y’all have point in mocking her for her behaviour. I just feel so sad that someone’s considered a lost cause at this age and proving people right.

    It seems Lindsay needs a miracle or some sort of divine intervention, the blind today by Ted Cas says it all. I’m holding my breath……..

  59. brin says:

    LOL….Cracken Calendar 2012 is a go! (hope Lilo makes it through the year).

  60. Lady D says:

    @brin, #6, you’re too funny.
    @ Original B, you are spending an awful lot of time in mod jail. Trying to equal Cracken’s record?
    I have the baby reds cooling for the potato salad. LadyBert, I know what you mean about gaining cyber-poundage, but what a hilarious way to do it.

  61. Firecracker says:

    Hi All! I’m in the mood for a Crack Russian…anyone want one too?

    That cone better be moved, now, or else!

  62. The Truth Fairy says:

    Those pix at the bottom never get old.

  63. ladybert62 says:

    What a great line! “I’m sweating like a lohan in church!” Really really made me laugh! THANK YOU LADIES!!!

  64. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Seal Team – I know, right? There’s something inherently wrong when it’s hot at 3:30 in the morning. But the cracktinis & vodka melon balls are s-o-o refreshing.

    @ Lady D – Sadly, I will not be able to put out my own calendar – Mug Shots of the Crack Tailgaters – as we don’t have them taken. ;) Can’t wait for that potato salad!

  65. ladybert62 says:

    I am dying for one of the house-special melon-balls! And I dont even have to show an ID to get one in this wonderful cyber-bar!

  66. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Firecracker – Sure, I’m game! You know me, ever the brave soul trying out the new crack-snacks.

    @ ladybert62 – Have some, they’re lovely. Try them in the cracktinis – it’s delish!

  67. Bev says:

    Hope she doesn’t met up with Benicio Del Toro that’s where he apparently met KimHo Stewart

  68. Madisyn says:

    @ bellaluna, thank you for passing the file and the cracktini’s with vodka soaked melon ball garnish. I save my melon balls till after I drink my cracktini, that way they continue to soak while I imbibe. Kinda like eating the worm at the bottom of the tequilla bottle, but better tasting and not as gross.

    The pic of her in NY, coming out of a bar with 16 year old Ali, at 4am, while on ‘formal probation, when she was supposedly there to ‘see family’ on her knees is absolute perfection! We need one more for ‘fall’. We could use last weekends photo, with Paris picking up a blitzed out Blohan off the ground.

    Now onto the other months. . .

    I’m wearing my new tank top, braless, of course, its white (for Linnocent), with rhinestone on the front that read “Crack Clique” and on the back “Nasty”. I’m going to have them mass produced and passed out to the crack tailgaters at the next official crack party.

    I think I’ll do T-shirts with “Tin Can Crew” on them as well, for the other three TCC members, I’ll leave them in the treehouse.

    @ ladybert62

    “What a great line! “I’m sweating like a lohan in church!” Really really made me laugh”! Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it. In all honesty, I was just sitting here thinking “God, I’m sweating. . . already”, it was only 10:15 a.m. and then it came to me.

    Of course, like most of the ‘bitter bitches’ here (if you have read the LeAnn Whines post, you get the reference) I’m constantly in MOD jail, so who knows what time you actually saw the post.

  69. DethHammer says:

    I’ll take a double cracktini, vodka melon balls and some canapes a la percocet :)

  70. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Evening ladies, almost miseed the party again! Must have been all those cracktini’s from last nite!

    Anyhows, this is such a surprise….I mean Linnocent partying her arse off and falling over drunk and cracked out….YAWN

    but u know, maybe its pmt or something, but I kind of thinking this is too tragic now & losing the humour….

    Cr*p pass me a bucket full of lintini ladies, am on the verge of feeling sympathy 4 the crackie!!!! ahhhh ;(

  71. jeebus says:

    @ Madisyn *waves* hello dear!

    yeah us over at tmz have been saying that for a while now, though sometimes you can see a little sarcasm thrown in the story on TMZ. So who knows, I think they are all getting tired of Cracken because she is just not producing the same kind of hits she was before.

    Back in the day of constant court appearances there was a new article everyday sometimes even up to three where they all had AT LEAST 500 comments a piece. Now we are struggling to make it to 200 and most of the time its the one idiot posting under different monikers talking to himself!

    the other times its regular posters catching up with each other, or the trolls hating on us.

  72. jeebus says:

    @Ruby Red,

    it’s not just you. Linnocent is losing her luster.. She needs a good scandal in order to be as entertaining as she was before.

  73. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Oh and btw when is Linnocents next meeting with the judge about her CS probation? That should be a crack tail party ;)

  74. OhMyMy says:

    @Ruby Red Lips: You’re from across the pond right?

    There was a reality show called Ladette to Lady that the Sundance channel here showed a few series of a few years ago. It featured trainwreck drunk girls that got sent to a finishing school. It was hilarious, I loved it!

    Lindsay would definitely qualify as a “Ladette” wouldn’t she?

  75. wunderkindt says:

    That shag-shady crack puppet ‘Rico’ is just down right ughh, creepy.

    Did anyone else notice that he has Ronson-like dark under eye circles?

    After they crack around for a moment, shag-shady says: “Dont worry, the necklace is paid for!”

    Q: Do you think she had to blow that piece of crack shag in order to keep the necklace???

  76. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Jeebus, most definately, its the same old stuff over again, but how is the crackie going to top it?? Would have to be really messy!! ;)

    @ OhMyMy: I am indeed across the pond, think thats why I keep missing the start of the party ;) Yeh we had a version of that show over here 2 & agree Linnocent def has potential for that one!! :)

  77. Madisyn says:

    @ jeebus *waving back*

    Yeah, I get what your saying. Wondering if, and I wouldn’t put it past her, if Blohan calls up the paps and ‘stages’ a fall, as she knows it will get her a check and attention. She’s DESPERATE for BOTH at this point and her CAREER IS OVER, so in her drug addled, delusional mind, WHY NOT? I mean this falling down crap started with the poor cactus and has only escalated from there. She never used to fall prior to the cactus incident, that I can remember, but now, falls down constantly. I personally think the cactus shot was real, the others, not so sure anymore.?.

    @ Ruby Red *good evening*, what is it 10:30 PM over in your neck of the woods?

    I knew this question of the next Crack Tailgate would come up, so I wrote it down. Here is her court schedule:

    Provide proof by Aug. 11th Thursday of enrollment in psyhological counseling. No appearance, just faxed proof of enrollment that she found a counselor. If not in compliance, the judge will revoke probation and schedule a formal hearing.

    LL next court appearance is October 19th Wednesday 10 am, COMPLETION of shoplifters alternative, PROGRESS on psychological counseling and CS.

    I CAN’T WAIT for Oct. 19th. Progress on her CS. HA! When the judge said at the last hearing she only completed “33 hours” of 480 hours of CS, the judge was reminding her, GET IT DONE. I can’t wait to see the look on the judges’ face when in Oct. you will more than likely see “34 hours” of her CS report. You know the little entitled insolent twit is going to stroll down the court house red carpet, sitting there, smirking, and she has completed only ONE MORE HOUR of CS since her last hearing, July 21st, now that will be EPIC!

    Of course, I’m hoping for both. I want non-compliance on getting the counselor, just so we can get in an extra probation revocation and hearing. I wouldn’t doubt if the judge at this point puts our favorite cracken back on the ole, dreaded SCRAM.

    Just thinking about this is getting me giddy with anticipation.

  78. Madisyn says:

    @ wunderkindt

    “That shag-shady crack puppet ‘Rico’ is just down right ughh, creepy”

    I kinda was thinking the opposite, I thought Rico was fine, it was Blohan, who I thought, was “just down right ughh, creepy”!

  79. asshol says:

    Will she be another 27….

  80. jeebus says:

    @Madisyn That wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if that is exactly what she is doing. Its like everyone is saying she is a tabloid star now and that is the only thing she is going to be known for.

    @Ruby Red OH YEAH I really wish she would do something new just so she could be interesting again. I have said it several times on tmz and all I get is YOURE JUST JEALOUS CUZ SHE’S FAMOUS AND RICH AND YOUR NOT! You’re just a fat bag lady! lol

    It’s really obnoxious.

  81. Ruby Red Lips says:

    *Waves* @ Madisyn, yep, just gone 10:30pm here, think ur about 6 hrs behind me?? Cool, thx 4 dates, I am putting the Oct one in my calender as that is going to be the crackie party of the century!!!! :D

  82. Seal Team 6 says:

    Linnocent getting reSCRAMMed would be an early Crackmas present for me.

  83. Bess says:

    @Madisyn- I think LiLo will have a shrink before the 8/11 due date, but I’m with you on the community service hours. If she manages to accumulate more than 80 total hours by Oct. 19, I’ll be shocked. LiLo just doesn’t have the time management or self-disciplne to make complete those hours in time.

  84. Seal Team 6 says:

    I bet she’ll have a therapist, but will NOT have attended more than two or three sessions by October 19.

  85. skilo says:

    For you ladies that haven’t seen it: Samantha Ronson reportedly has a drinking problem if you believe the sources in this story which you shouldn’t as I’ll explain later. TMZ reports:

    We’re told … in the past couple of months, Ronson has been hitting the nightclubs A LOT harder than she used to — and for more than just work — staying out longer hours … and boozing more than ever.
    Sources connected to Sam tell us … even her ex-girlfriend Lindsay Lohan felt things were getting bad with Sam … and she decided to minimize her contact with the DJ because she felt Sam wouldn’t be a positive influence.

    “And did I mention she’s a lesbian?” Dina Lohan said into the pay phone. “Because she’s a lesbian. A lesbian who bites people and turns them into other lesbians, so the movie studios won’t hire them anymore making it all her fault because she, uh, she feeds off their failure. Yeah, write that stuff.”-The Superficial

  86. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @Jeebus, those must be Lohan’s minions or impressionable brainless people on TMZ, I think most of them are as deluded as Linnocent or are actually Michael or Dina! Yeh, jealous of Linnocent….too right, maybe u should offer them a cracktini!!! ;)

    BTW, where is @ Innocent?? Maybe there is crackie drama going down right now and thats why Dina, I mean Innocent isn’t with us…

  87. Original Tiffany says:

    I must get a Cracken calendar! Only if we get to use every cracked out pink mink with fake tanner in the hair pics every day!
    Cracktails for all my friends. Pass the pork cracklins, the crackscotti, mmmm.

  88. the original bellaluna says:

    *waves @ Ruby Red & skilo*

    She may have a therapist by then, but all she has to do is fax proof she’s got one by 8/11. I can also see her ho-strolling it into court 10/19 with little (if any) additional Community Service hours completed. As in all things Linnocent, neither of these will be completed by the deadline.

    Oooh! Maybe for October in the Cracken Calendar we could have somebody sneak a pic of her working in the morgue. That would add to the scary.

  89. Bill Hicks is God says:

    An actual talent Amy Winehouse is gone and this vodka nasal-shot is still rolling.

    This makes me want to go live in a cave…

  90. JaneWonderfalls says:

    Lindsay looks like she’s 50 and I call her to be dead in a few years, I was accurate with Winehouse, last year I spoke she would be dead in a year and I was right, not happily so but this lifestyle of drugs and alcohol leads to two places rehab or death. She needs to go to drug,rehab and counseling because it’s some deep rooted issues that stem from her family and personal life and relationships.

  91. Madisyn says:

    @ Ruby Red, I’m in Burbank, CA so eight hours behind. I was married to an Englishman many moons ago, so I know the time difference. As for the Oct. 19th date, just make a little note in your calendar about Aug. 11th and 12th. If we hear nothing on the 12th, then the little twit was in compliance and we can look forward to October. But this is Blohan, so don’t rule August 11th out just yet. Not to mention, Blohan pulling a “Lohan” and appearing in court before then. Its possible, if not probable.

    @ Seal Team, Blohan having to wear ANOTHER SCRAM would BE my Crackmas present for the year. I can’t help but wonder, you know the judge at the last hearing referrenced her Gotti movie, makes me think she or her clerk ‘trolls’ around the internet. If thats the case, if she doesn’t do the CS, wouldn’t it just tickle you pink if she ordered the SCRAM in the likelyhood that it would ‘motivate’ Blohan to do some/any CS? I’d be over the moon if she did.

    @ Bess, I too think she’ll have a shrink. It was just wishful thinking on my part, but I wouldn’t rule it out if I were you. Bess, your being muy generous with “80 hours”. She’s got 2 months and 2 weeks left to complete 47 hours of CS, if thats the case. Not gonna happen. She’s at 33 hours now, as I haven’t see the little twit papped at the Womens Shelter, and you know we would, I’m going to assume the judge is going to be pissed.

  92. DethHammer says:

    I’m still waiting for my double cracktini and vodka melon balls!

  93. Madisyn says:

    @ DH, passing you your crack snacks and cracktails.

    @ bellaluna, I believe she has to complete the 420 hours at the Womens Center and then she has the 60 hours at the morgue. She won’t complete the 420 by next July. So maybe after her jail stint, possibly ANOTHER useless rehab stay, and more CS tacked on, maybe by October 20 THIRTEEN, we’ll get the ‘morgue’ pictures for the cracken calendar.

  94. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @the original Bella, ” A Samro post, a LR post, AND a Linnocent post. My cup (of cracktinis) runneth over!”

    seriously, I think I’m developing a drinking problem **steals a sip of seal teams lintini** or as Innocent would say, I just like to party because I’ve been through sooooo much!
    **now someone pass me a cracktini so I can drown my sorrows!**

    I’ve got some moonshine cookin’ in the basement. With all of this drinkin’ I thought we’d need something stronger for our next cracktini tailgate extravaganza!

  95. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    Also, you have no faith whatsoever in Linnocent! She most certainly will complete her community service…if giving away free BJs count? That’s a service to the community right?

    **waves @Madisyn** 420 hours of community service? Oh the irony!

  96. Ruby says:

    Yet another person who is famous for doing absolutely nothing besides taking up valuable air and real estate on this planet.

  97. Melancholy says:

    @Kelly,
    submit that idea to Lindsay’s *Team* and you could have a movie deal on your hands!

  98. the original bellaluna says:

    *passes Morticians a cracktini w/melon balls* As someone (and I can’t remember who, or I would credit them – maybe I’ll go back & check when I have a minute):

    “Can someone please explain to her the difference between Community Service and servicing the community?”

    That right there is golden. In fact, if we add quotes to the 365 Days of the Cracken calendar, we could use that under one of the (many, many) pictures of her with scabby knees. Can’t you just picture it? It warms the cockles of my cold, black heart.

  99. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Oh. I thought it was 320 hours at the women’s shelter and another 100 in the LA County Morgue. See what happens when I start imbibing in the cracktinis, linntinis, and crack snacks? ;)

    And I’m sure we’ll have plenty of new material to work with for the 2013 calendar!

  100. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @the original Bella, ” Can someone please explain to her the difference between Community Service and servicing the community?”

    **sipping cracktini**

    and here I was thinking I had an original thought
    :(

  101. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Morticians – Oh, no, that wasn’t me! That was from a previous thread…was it you? I’ll have to go check. ;)

    OK, Ruby gets the credit for that zinger! *raises cracktini to Ruby*

  102. the original bellaluna says:

    And y’all know why she’s hanging out with Parasite & Nicky, right? Because they can afford to pay for the booze & drugs.

  103. Madisyn says:

    @ bellaluna, maybe I should PICK UP a cracktini because I was wrong! I try not to imbibe during the week, because I make up for it on the weekends. True dat! You had me doubting myself, so I checked.

    I had the 480 total correct but the break down wrong. Its 360 days at the Womens Shelter and 120 days in the morgue. I’m trying to find the exact date she needs to complete said CS but I’m reading conflicting reports. The one I see most often and makes sense since she was sentenced in May is April 2012. Now that we got that straightened out. . . I going to ‘think’ about having my cracktini’s on Friday.

  104. Seal Team 6 says:

    @Madisyn

    Crackie has one year to complete her CS, so late April to early May sounds about right.

  105. Madisyn says:

    @ Seal Team

    I know the roundabout date, but even on this post or maybe it was the last, I could have sworn people were saying “July 2012″ for CS completion and that didn’t seem right. I’m going to have to do a little more research to find the EXACT date. Of course, is it possible the judge just said one year and will wait until her last ‘progress report’ hearing to determine a final date? Does that sound possible?

  106. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Well, we were both wrong, so cracktinis all around! ;) *raises glass*

  107. Nikki Girl says:

    Goddamn she’s nasty.

  108. Melancholy says:

    Oh my god, have you seen how awful Lindsay looks in those photos from Kim Kardashian’s party?! She looks like hammered shit.

  109. :-Poison says:

    She looks lik a cheap hooker dese days..she’s just a famous wreck.
    It must b really bad if she’s friends with paris again. A cheaper hooker

  110. Wilma Flintstone says:

    @Kelly: Your comment (#8) is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Kudos.

  111. Skinnybetch says:

    All the crack jokes and crack comments about Blohan are hilarious! *dies*

  112. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Melancholy – links, please?

    @ Skinnybetch – We aim to please!

  113. seal team 6 says:

    @skinnybetch

    My crackscotti are low carb and high opiate, and are also vegan!!!

  114. OhMyMy says:

    Did they extend the CS deadline to take into account the time she spent on house arrest?

  115. seal team 6 says:

    @OhMyMy –

    No, the Judge specifically stated that she would NOT be allowed to do CS while on house crack party arrest, and that the time to complete it wouldn’t be suspended/tolled while on house crack party arrest.

  116. Mary Jane says:

    I just hit 46 and I’m having a hard time dealing with wrinkles, old-looking skin, etc… but, DAYUM! I look a WHOLE LOT bettre (and younger!) than Linnocent — and I still party my ass off too! That is one rough looking 25-year-old…

  117. Melancholy says:

    Sorry Bellaluna! :)
    I only saw it on ET, so I’m not sure who has photos yet.

  118. Venefica Delirium says:

    She’s not going anywhere, period.
    She’s not going to disappear from the media.
    She’s not going to jail.
    She’s not gonna die.
    She’s not going to rehab.
    She’s not going to make any blockbusters.

    I don’t wish death on anyone, as that is extremely tacky and tasteless, but all I really want is for her to get clean, and go the fuck away. Or, you know, don’t get clean and go away. As long as she goes away in the non-dying sense, I’m fine with it.