Nicole Kidman goes trashy, crazy in ‘The Paperboy’: deliciously awful?

What happened to Nicole Kidman’s career? Did it start to fade when she began to Botox so heavily? Or did she begin to ‘Tox when her career began to fade? Unknown. What I do know is that Nicole used to be one of the most interesting actresses out there, and nowadays she’s just… I don’t know. In need of better representation? In need of a reality check about what kind of roles she should be playing now? Something like that. Anyway, Nicole’s latest movie is The Paperboy. The film premiered in Cannes to nearly universal scorn. Nicole’s performance was panned. The casting overall was panned. The story, the script and the direction were all heavily criticized. Almost as soon as the film was screened for critics in Cannes, certain plot details became public. Like the hilarious/awful scene in which Nicole hunkers down and pees on poor Zac Efron. That sentence says all I need to know about this movie.

Still, the movie is going to be released, and so they needed to put out a trailer. This should be fun… I only watched a few seconds before I turned it off to begin writing. I want to live-blog my reaction to the trailer! Here we go:

*Ugh, bad Southern accents. At first I was all, “Maybe Zac Efron’s Southern twang isn’t that bad.” But no, it’s BAD. He sounds like he’s doing a one-man Gone With the Wind revival. Nicole’s twang isn’t great, either, but it’s better than Zac’s.

*Decent wig work with Nicole. She’s supposed to look really trashy and crazy. Are her boobs supposed to look that big? Because they look huge.

*Matthew McConaughey stepped out of a pit of grease for this role, I guess.

*OH. MY. GOD. We have story breaks for a girl group to sing “That man is dangerous!!!” The Greek chorus, by way of Destiny’s Child.

*This mess seems like it was cast by picking names out of a hat. John Cusack as the psycho killer? Nicole Kidman as the trashy, crazy woman? Zac Efron as a reporter? Jesus.

*WHY IS EVERYONE SO GREASY?!

*Zac dancing in his underwear with crazy Nicole. Crazy. Zac’s got a cute butt though.

*They’re showing a lot of the story, right? I think this is pretty much the whole movie.

*The swamp = vagina. That is all.

Promotional images from ‘The Paperboy’.

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84 Responses to “Nicole Kidman goes trashy, crazy in ‘The Paperboy’: deliciously awful?”

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  1. Chris: now with 10% less negativity says:

    Is it wrong of me to think she looks hot in those photos?

    • cmc says:

      Actually, I think she looks hot too. Big hair and heavy eye makeup look good on her.

      On the trailer: couldn’t even make it through the whole thing. Pass.

    • marie says:

      as long as she doesn’t speak, she is kinda hot.

    • bondbabe says:

      No, not wrong at all! I agree.

      Although in the first pic she kind of looks like Rielle Hunter (who is NOT hot).

    • erika says:

      y’all are wrong bless your hearts…there that was my southerner (inspired by my auntie) way of totally disagreeing with y’all…

      although way too gritty for me by the trailer i think it looks ‘good’ let me define good, gritty, uncomfortable, shocking, uneasy…but it’s trying to convey a very definitive, secular way of life in a southern state, circa 1968…
      very DARK, disturbing murder story..

      i get it..it’s ‘different’ and that’s what makes y’all freaked out by it…

      • marie says:

        that was your southern condescending way of disagreeing, I’m from the south and know what it sounds like.. Her accent is atrocious..

    • Dani says:

      I think she looks hot, too. Her look here reminds me of her when she was in ‘To Die For’. She looked absolutely hot then. Why didn’t she keep up that look?

  2. Jackie O says:

    awful stereotypes all around. but she has done such great work in the past, i can let it go.

  3. Miss T says:

    I’m not big a Kidman fan, but I think you’re being a bit unfair. The film was panned at Cannes, but Nicole actually got very good reviews.

  4. neelyo says:

    I can’t wait! Even if she sucks, at least she’s going out on a limb like the Kidman of former days. That looks like a helluva lot of crazy and definitely more fun than some of her more recent work.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Yes, neelyo! I’ll def see this-probably a rental but still. I love it when Nic goes all-out crazy.

      I kind of like that retro movie poster too.

      • Lauren says:

        Nicole looks Hot! Tommy must be Gay to dump Nicole. Katie Holmes is not a fantastic actress, will never win an Oscar like Nicole. I think Tom was jealous of NK. Sorry, couldn`t resist. Nicole was amazing in The Human Stain with Anthony Hopkins. That movie blew my mind.

    • Jess says:

      Totally agree! I love trashy Nicole and the film looks entertaining (in a guilty pleasure kind of way), although I wish everybody weren’t so sweaty!

  5. Tillie says:

    I think I’m going to like this! Love her trashy look 🙂

    • johnnybadboytapia says:

      it looks interesting to me and i think that nicloe does a good trash look too!

  6. Cleveland Girl says:

    Forget Nicole. What in all that is holy is going on with Matt McCoughnahy (sp) He was greasy in “Magic Mike” and he is greasy here. Maybe that is just what he looks like. Hmmm. Maybe this could be a cult hit or something…

  7. Leaf says:

    I feel indifferent towards this movie, but I kind of like the poster they’re using. It looks pretty cool.

    • erika says:

      yeah what the above posters said, it’s crazy, trashy…and anne margaret totally BUT sex kitten anne margaret sniffing aerosol hairspray/sexing teen age hotties…

  8. mln76 says:

    It actually looks like fun-not necessarily good just fun.

  9. L says:

    Well when you are sweaty in the heat and humidity it tends to comes off as greasy.

    It looks like a DVD movie to me, but if I recall Nicole actually got pretty solid reviews for her work in a not so great movie.

    • mayamae says:

      It’s always how they portray the south. In Straw Dogs everyone needed a shower as well.

      • bondbabe says:

        Yes! In the movie, A Time To Kill, McConaughey, and especially Ashley Judd, were glistening/greasy. I know the storyline was based in Mississippi and it’s hot/humid there, but all I could focus on was Ashley Judd’s shiney-ness and it seemed excessive.

  10. cupidityrox! says:

    & I heard Macy Gray is the narrator? That was a deciding factor. Not seeing this movie

  11. Aria says:

    Call me crazy but I want to see this movie. Nicole is a camaleon. Love her.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      She’s amazingly talented. So happy to see her back even if it’s for a terrible movie 🙂

  12. Jen34 says:

    I feel for Nicole. She’s at that age where roles are hard to come by. It must suck for a great beauty to age in the public eye. At least her personal life seems happy and she has her husband and kids for support.

  13. Cam S says:

    My gawd, those accents! It’s not hard to do southern accent ya’ll, just sloooow waaaay down.
    I don’t care for Zac Efron, but this has John Cusack in it, so count me in! They did a good job with the promo poster, really like it.

    I love Nicole’s trashy look! She looks better when she’s all made up. I loved her look as the femme-bot in Stepford Wives too

    • DuBarry says:

      Actually,
      I think southern accents are one of the more difficult accents to master because there is a lot of room to fall.

  14. TheOriginalKitten says:

    Kaiser-I know it’s still early but this movie is trending at 56% right now on RT. That’s not bad, really-“mixed reviews” is far from “panned”.

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_paperboy_2012/

  15. Anna says:

    I like Nicole, she’s a good actress.

  16. nancy xl says:

    McConauhgy before his eye job. i thought he was so natural – no deodorant, etc. – i’m surprised he had cosmetic surgery.

    • stinky says:

      omg – is that what he did – really? i keep asking, cuz he looks like a cancer patient to me. no offense to anyone…. but he’s looked really bad for a long time … ever since his hook-up w/ Camila A imo.

    • Dredz says:

      Botox and eye lift maybe?

  17. Nicole says:

    This is like a bad compilation of every Matthew McConaughey film he has every made with a pinch of Erin Brockovich and dash of Melanie Griffith-ness somewhere in there.

    Just awful! And yes, why are they all so greasy? I mean, its hot in the south, but we never go around looking like that!

  18. serena says:

    LOL poor Zac, so young and already filled with bad choices. I hope he does better, because I like him lately.

    Nicole is.. I don’t know, on one hand I think she isn’t offered much and on the other that is impossibile to take seriously someone who mess up with her face like her.

    • polk8dot says:

      @ ‘I think she isn’t offered much…’
      Well then that is a sweet karma kicking her ass. All the years she was married to Tommy, and after the divorce even more, she had a ‘first refusal’ deal with a lot of studios and directors. What it means is that if she was in one of their movies, from them on she was sent EVERY good, interesting script that came to them for a first look – first refusal.
      What followed was her sitting on numerous scripts, claiming that she will do them, keeping them from other actresses, while for years pushing them back and not finding time to actually do them, since there are only so many days in a damn year! It was also said that she did it not only to ensure the best roles for herself, but by keeping some scripts for years, she also kept other actresses from being able to do those potentially great roles. And, worst of all, on majority of them, she never actually got around to doing them, and many never got made.
      This situation resulted, a few years ago, in Nic becoming universally hated in HW. For years she had prevented good movies from being made, she had prevented other actresses from getting good roles. People will notice shit like that, and her’s was noticed and widely commented upon.
      It has changed now, after several flops, her bankability fallen to almost nothing, and fans turning away from her because of excessive plastic surgery.
      So I do not feel bad, for one second, if she is not offered any good roles anymore. In fact I hope so. She had her chance, and then it was more important to her to prevent someone else from getting the job, than to honestly want the job herself. She ruined a lot of good scripts this way, and people have long memories, especially in HW.

  19. Adrien says:

    Rabbit Hole was a solid film. Nicole gave a great performance. Her botox face did distract a bit but she’s just a talented actress you want to overlook that minor distraction.

    • DuBarry says:

      Honestly, her face did not look very ‘botoxed’ at all in that movie. Critics would agree.

  20. erin says:

    i love the poster, though. and oddly enough i’d totally redbox this. it looks terrible but entertaining.

  21. Mrs.Darcy says:

    This looks kind of awful/awesome. I think Zac’s character is the paperboy, not the reporter. I think the trashy looks suits her bacause she has messed with with her face, it suits the character in this sole instance. Other than that though she is in big trouble if she doesn’t quit the botox and fillers, she will end up in a career wasteland like Melanie Griffith.

  22. Jen says:

    I don’t think ‘panned’ is quite right – it got four stars in the Guardian in the UK, and the dude says it’s her best performance since To Die For.

    Cannes reviews are often very hyped-up and in-the-moment; it’s often better to trust later, more considered reviews for the overall picture.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/may/24/the-paperboy-review

  23. spinner says:

    Nicole is a very good actress but when I think of sexy, Nicole never comes to mind. She seems asexual to me & so does Zac Efron. There is no steam here.

    • Jane says:

      I agree about Nicole not being sexy. She wasn’t even sexy in Eyes Wide Shut. Maybe that had something to do with the scene early in the film of her peeing in the toilet and wiping herself. She must have a thing about peeing on camera. I think her best film was To Die For, after that nothing has come close.

  24. HadleyB says:

    Nicole has the most chemistry with other actors more than more actresses out there .. Human Stain? Sexy. Even with a man who was pushing 70.

    Cold Mountain? Natalie Portman had none with Jude but Nicole did.

    Reese/ Jennifer A/ Sandra B/ Cameron D/ – never have any chemistry with anyone. Ever.

    And Reese and Natalie are younger than Nicole and half as talented.

    • Miss T says:

      I actually thought that Natalie was much better than Nicole in Cold Mountain. Nicole’s a better actress in general, but I thought she was miscast in that role.
      To each their own.

    • taxi says:

      Add to no chemistry list, ever:
      Anne Hathaway
      Jodie Foster
      Hilary Swank

      • star says:

        Oh good, im not the only person who thinks anne hathaway has terrible chemistry onscreen.everyone said she did good as catwoman but I couldn’t get past her terrible kissing scenes and forced acting.

    • Cam S says:

      Cameron Diaz and Ewan McGregor in “A Life Less Ordinary” that was chemistry

      • Andie B says:

        Kinda off subject, but since Ewan MacGregor has been mentioned I’m just going to say I LOVE him..he and Nicole were great together in Moulin Rouge.

      • polk8dot says:

        Wow, I could not stand either of them in that movie! They were both overbearing, overacting, and – to me – forcing the chemistry where there was none.
        Amazing how different people can see completely different things in the same movie, scene, performance. 🙂

  25. Turtle Dove says:

    Kinda looks like Rachel Hunter in that get-up.

  26. stinky says:

    looks good enough for me! when i first saw Nicole sittin there i thought of Reielle… (ick) Yo, there cant possibly be enough Macy Gray in this flik for me – she’s the best – and i loved the live-trailer-blogging! laffedoutloud

  27. Kelly says:

    This just looks so campy, which is a shame, because the book is a really touching, personal story about coming-of-age in the Deep South during the 60s. Oh well, it is nice to see NK in an interesting role again (and age-appropriate).

    And I’ll just keep my fingers crossed that they’re not really playing the pee scene as any kind of erotic event, right? It’s just awkward and embarrassing and funny (for the reader), not sexy.

  28. Toni says:

    What happened to Nicole Kidman’s career? Uh she was just nominated for an Oscar just 2 years ago and she’s nominated for an Emmy this year. She seems to be doing fine.

  29. Ashling says:

    I am going to see this on video. I want to see Nicole’s crazy. Lol.

  30. yani says:

    I’m always interested when Nicole Kidman plays trashy or crazy. Makes her more likable than her usual aloof demeanor. I think the negative feedbacks in Cannes has more to do with the peeing scene, but was not a reflection of the whole movie.

  31. Nev says:

    my fave actress. The Hours forever.

  32. RHONYC says:

    did she use ‘Tanning Mom’ (see feat. links) as inspiration? 😆

  33. lily says:

    I actually really like trashy Nicole :D. It’s nice to see her doing something different.

  34. Lurkeelee says:

    This movie looks like good trashy fun, so I’ll definately see it.

  35. mediapileup says:

    I will be honest, I cannot watch her in movies anymore because all I can see is her messed up face. Cannot get past the lips and cheeks and frozen forehead. And I used to think she was one of the most talented actresses out there.

    But I might see this one – her character looks like someone who would have bad plastic surgery so her face kind of works for the role.

  36. Jayna says:

    She’s got two Little ones and a marriage that’s a priority and he’s on the road a lot. She’s probably with him and then they’re at home together. She accomplished a lot as an actress during the most unhappy period of her life. She has nothing more to prove. She fits movies in around her life now. She always looks for odd roles. Some work. Some don’t. I loved her in The Rabbit Hole and she produced it.

    • DuBarry says:

      Exactly. That’s what I enjoy most about her – she takes very unconventional roles, when she could so easily take more ‘mainstream’ roles. I always have respected that about her.

  37. DuBarry says:

    What do you mean “nowadays she is just …I don’t know” ??? You do realize she was just nominated for an Emmy? Also, her performance in Rabbit Holes (just 2 years ago) was one of the best performances of the year.

  38. DANDILION says:

    Drunk whippet jumped in a crowded fast and catastrophic demolition derby raceway.. sometimes being a natural athlete with speed, power and balance isn’t enough to save you in the rotten visceral experience..

  39. Nicole says:

    What happened to nicoles career? she met keith urban had two babies lived out on a farm and is happy!! Especially considering that she was with xenu forever and stripped from her last two kids

  40. kc says:

    I think her career started to tank AFTER botox. I LOVED her as an actress but she has become almost unwatchable. Tried to get through the Hemmingway/Gellhorn biopic but I just kept screaming “MOVE YOUR FOREHEAD NICOLE!!”

    • Dredz says:

      I know!!! She’s so overly botoxed, her face looks like it’s made of wax *shudder.

  41. Krock says:

    She looks great but I can’t understand her language :/

  42. Camille (The original) says:

    Wow, that looks incredibly bad. And yet I also kind of want to see it now just to see how bad it is LOL. Would have to be a rental/on TV though.

  43. ZenB!tch says:

    I read the headline as “Nicole Kidman goes trashy, crazy in ‘The PLAYboy’: deliciously awful?” I thought it was the story of an aging 60s playboy bunny. Ooops!

  44. chelsea says:

    “What happened to Nicole Kidman’s career?

    These things happen with actresses over 40 years of age.

    One minute you are in favour and they nominate you for breathing, the next minute, they move onto to someone else(unless you are Meryl Streep).

    But Kidman got nominated at last year’s Oscar (Best Actress) and this year, for an Emmy award. She’s doing o k, in my opinion.

    Next role for Kidman….a small part in a film which will be laden with sexually explicit material called ” The Nymphomaniac” directed by cinematic enfant terrible, Lars Von Trier.

    The Kidman that I know is back, doing experimental and weird stuff that goes against convention….

  45. Maritza says:

    It’s a movie worth watching as a video rental but not at the movies.

  46. David says:

    The writer at Celebitchy seems a little off on the facts . It was very divisive, not “universally panned”. In fact right now, about half the critics liked it and half did not. Kidman got glowing reviews for her performance, and the film should be an interesting one to watch.