Gwyneth Paltrow turns 40 in Italy, celebrates on a boat just like Beyonce

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow officially turned 40 years old over the weekend, but unlike us peasants, Goop would have us know that she looks better now than she did when she was 24. Goop also celebrated her birthday in grand style by taking a boat ride because if it’s good enough for Beyonce, it’s good enough for Goop. She and the family (including Chris Martin, who is not pictured here, but you can see him glaring at the camera over at the Mail) took a lovely trip to Italy where they spent an enchanting day and evening on the luminous waters of Portofino. It was truly a delightful adventure that can only be topped by an invigorating run around one’s own wood-burning oven in the garden at home. But everything is more illuminating on holiday, right?

In these photos, I cannot help but notice the lady in the striped shirt, who seems to be an assistant of some sorts. Does Goop even speak to her? I would hope so.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

In other Goop news, Gwyneth has offered up her latest addition to the “Goop Collection” of luxury items for the peasants. Here is the $225 “Goop clutch” designed by Nicole Richie’s House of Harlow. The clutch is made of dark brown and turquoise leather and “complemented by a brushed gold trim that claps shut with a jaguar head.” If you told me a decade ago that Gwyneth and Nicole would be working together, I’d have laughed my ass off. Obviously, this clutch is overpriced (and rather ugly too), but that silly $270 acrylic tray is sold out, so this will probably sell like hotcakes too. Seriously, who buys this crap?

Gwyneth Paltrow

Mostly, I think this party was about Goop getting drunk on a boat because, let’s face it, getting drunk on land is so peasanty.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow

Photos courtesy of WENN and Goop.com

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26 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow turns 40 in Italy, celebrates on a boat just like Beyonce”

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  1. cmc says:

    I actually really like the clutch! If the leather and clasp are high quality, it may just be priced well. Still not buying it though :)

    • Seagulls says:

      Full agreement on each of your statements!

    • Amelia says:

      How on earth is she even breaking even on all the stuff she’s selling? I’m truly baffled. I had a peek at some of the bits and bobs on her site, but I really haven the foggiest idea who her target market is. Some of the stuff is cute, but she’s not a designer like VB, so I doubt we’ll see other celebrities etc wearing it. But it’s out of most people’s price range.
      So either she’s willing to make ends meet using her own pocket (which she’s certainly wealthy enough to do) or Chris is buying up all the stock without her knowning.
      The world of Goop is a strange, strange place..

  2. Boo says:

    I bet Goop hates that stripes-wearing assistant because she’s not a size 00. One can sense the deep disapproval.

    • marie says:

      ha ha, so sad but I thought the same thing..

      • alyssa says:

        I have yet to see a celebrity assistant who isn’t bigger than the celebrity. It seems like a prerequisite—You have to be heavier than the celeb to work for the celeb!

    • Zimmer says:

      I’m surprised she lets her wear horizontal stripes, but then again she must be heavier than Goop so she can be one of Goop’s ” projects.” Pretty soon we’ll hear some statement about how Gwen’s on a mission to save the poor woman from the clutches of corpulence.

  3. Seagulls says:

    Don’t many women look better at forty? Like how they’re much more self-assured and aware of their personal style?

    • Jessica says:

      One would hope, but some women age poorly. They tan, they smoke, they get fat, they hate themselves because they get fat/get neurotic about aging/the exact opposite of becoming self-assured. It’s a toss up.

  4. dcypher1 says:

    She has the ugliest face when she scawls at the camera yuck. And her other only look she has that fake ass smile botox face is so forced and fake shes so stuckup.

  5. whybenice says:

    Caption the last one, “Ye Gods! A peasant.”

  6. dcypher1 says:

    That clutch is fug to more overpriced poop for the peasants to buy. Gwyneth is Overrated, Old, Pretensious.

  7. Jayna says:

    She looks great in the jeans with the white blouse, perfect casual necklaces, perfect shoes. Great casual look.

  8. Ranunculus says:

    If she liked to be surrounded by peasants she would have them carry her bags. The clutch is gorge BTW and not overpriced. She really should wear her hair more natural, it looks better than iron pressed. I like her!

  9. La Calabaza says:

    Winona is 40 going on 30. Goop is 40 going on 45. Just saying!

  10. Tif says:

    I LOVE that grey bag! I’m sure it’s way out of my price range, but I can dream.

  11. Shelly says:

    She looks so much better with her hair naturally wavy and not flat-ironed. She actually has great hair.

  12. Swethaa says:

    She reminds me of Julia Bowen from Modern Family

  13. Cinesnatch says:

    Where are the other celebrity friends?

  14. janie says:

    does anyone else recall Gwyneth making a big deal that GOOP was authentic because she would never try to sell or push anything on it?
    it has turned into one big commercial.

  15. mimi (a different one) says:

    She is a pretty woman, and though she might have horrible skin face to face due to smoking, taning and dieting (I never met her, so I wouldn’t know) she does look amazing in the pictures at 40 years old.

    I do feel for her, due to her husband (?).
    No one deserves such treatment. I thought she would be one of those independant woman who would leave and find someone good for them.

    It would be interesting to watch if 40 would change her, and will she stay with him.

    Happy B day, Gwen!

  16. traxie says:

    And yes, Winona may be a flake but she looks twice as good as Gwyneth and hasn’t yet foisted any absurdly named children on the world or been reduced to hawking goods on a designer website. And how many hot celebrity boyfriends has Winona had, compared to Gwyneth – that wall-eyed hateful British freak was the best husband she could snare? Jeez! I bet Winona is pretty pleased with the way her life ended up compared to her one-time frenemy …..

  17. TC says:

    That’s nanny #1 of 2