We’ve been laughing at Robin Thicke for weeks, so let’s continue this trend into the weekend. Thicke’s having a really terrible month. Twitter really showed him who was boss. His Blurred Lines followup, Paula, will cost his record company so much money. Yesterday, we talked about his shockingly bad sales. Australia brought it home with a mere 54 copies of Paula sold. Amazing.
The geniuses at Thicke’s record company have come up with a (not) brilliant plan to “sell” more records. They’ve partnered with 1-800-Flowers to shill some special Thicke-themed bouquets. Customer will not only receive overpriced roses but will reap a free digital download of Paula with each purchase. Desperate stalkers can use the code “THICKE” at checkout and choose from the “Forever Love” or “Get Her Back” arrangements. The latter is based upon the predatory lead single from Paula.
This sh-t is so funny. The special “Get Her Back” arrangement will help you intimidate your woman back into your heart for a mere $349.99. For the cheaper stalkers out there, the “Forever Love” bouquet is available starting at $64.99. Here are the mind-blowing descriptions for both selections:
The “Get Her Back”: “Looking for a guaranteed way to get her back? Send our lush and luxurious bouquet of 100 romantic premium long-stem red roses! Inspired by Robin Thicke’s hit single, this spectacular rose arrangement is artistically hand-designed by our expert florists to help you express your feelings perfectly. We’re sure she’ll get the message.”
The “Forever Love”: “Whether you’re looking to get the attention of a certain someone or letting her know she’s always in your heart, you can’t go wrong with a fresh bouquet of premium long-stem red roses. Inspired by the music of Robin Thicke, they’re hand-designed by our expert florists and arranged in a ruby red vase to help you express your feelings in the most romantic way possible.”
[From 1-800-Flowers]
“We’re sure she’ll get the message.” And you’ll get slapped with a restraining order!
What an utter disaster. Robin Thicke’s face on the 1-800-Flowers website won’t do them any favors. People won’t buy his album, so they certainly aren’t gonna drop money on any bouquet inspired by Robin’s “hit single” (LOL). This company must have a long-standing deal with Thicke’s record company. They’ve used his likeness before to sell Valentine’s Day bouquets and issued a press release calling Thicke “an ambassador of love.” Yeah.
Thanks to Uproxx for the heads up on this story.
Screencap courtesy of 1-800-Flowers, photos courtesy of WENN
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!
*breathes*
Bahahahahahahahahaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
***snort*** hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Clean up on 5, greasy oil spill! Greasy Grossy Yuck!
I’ve had terrible experiences with 1-800-flowers in the past. This pairing makes perfect sense. Two entities that have no issues with not sticking to a commitment, and then after such a failure, offer you something less than mediocre.
HA! So true!
The both love sticking it to strangers.
It really bums me out how he has just squandered his talent and fan base. I used to really like him back in the day, but he has made really poor decisions over the past year and has proven to be an utter slimy disappointment. Whoever is representing/managing him needs to get him to lay low for awhile and get him together. It seems the fame has really gone to his head.
I agree. Just him and a piano and a good song (which he is capable of), is a beautiful thing. He was riding really high after Blurred Lines and he just ruined it with this Get Her Back crap.
If only he released “lost without you” now..I doubt he can ever come back from this mess.
Agreed. I think he’s done.
He cooked his own goose by making his attempt at winning his wife SO public. People were already giving him a hard side eye about the cheating rumors. If he had just decided to lay low and do his groveling in private he wouldn’t have to shill his new release via a flower delivery company.
Hahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha
Dies. Laughing.
Hahahahahhaha Robin Thicke… *hands him his pic in dramatic Tyra Banks Fashion*
You are still in the Running for Best Week Ever for the second week In a Row
OH MY GOD. I’m stunned enough to type in full caps.
At this point I’m thinking his PR team is actively trolling him. There’s NO way they could collectively be this inept. Good Gracious!
LOL. This is just ridiculous. He went from the singer of the world’s biggest hit to international laughingstock in what, a year? Hopefully this is a teachable moment to those watching at home: Reinforcing your self-confidence with groupies who love your current status isn’t worth throwing away what you’ve been building your whole life. And I don’t just mean his marriage, I mean his respectable little soul genre career and fanbase. He’ll have to work doubletime to win his fans back, too.
HAHAHAHAHA I would feel sad for him if he weren’t such an asshole. This is a terrible idea!
“hit single”??? I presume this ad copy was written before the single was released.
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
AND, $349 for a bouquet of roses?!?!!? both thicke’s management and 1-800 flowers must be out of their f-ing tits. (can we get sales figures on those somehow, btw?)
I know! Man, stalking ain’t cheap!
Wonder how many he sent Paula? LOL.
I would actually be pissed at my man if he spent so much money on something that will look good for a week, at best. It’s just too many flowers, and all the stems in the translucent base look bad. Everything about it says “My boyfriend cheated on me and all I got were these lousy overpriced flowers!”
Kanye might spend that much for a bouquet of roses.
His promotion team hates him. How creepy and pathetic.
This is the most amazing thing I’ve heard all day!!! LOVE IT!
Here’s some more product ideas:
– team up with Nike on their “Running from Crazy Stalkers” campaign – that’s not insensitive at all
– Robin Thicke fashion collection at Walmart – stalk your ex in comfort and style
– the Paula chocolate collection from Cadbury
– The Thicke dining experience – romantic dinner followed by watching your boyfriend cheat on your followed by apology flowers
Whoever thought this was a good idea should be fired. Out of a cannon.
Fabulous!! (applauds Lara K)
Isn’t it funny that the only person who has survived Thicke is that Emily Ratajkowski chick. She’s making movies and he’s shilling dead grass.
I don’t know if it’s his oddly shaped mouth or his silly posturing or what but this guy always looks so douchey. I mean, in EVERY photograph!
His ‘Stance’ kills me…he is always holding his arm out and away from his body….everything about him says “I’m a douche”
I honestly thought this was a joke and 1-800 Flowers was going to be sued soon. This is so sad and pathetic it’s almost becoming unbearable. What will he do next?!
I am so glad that there is an arrangement for every stalker’s budget! We don’t want any psycho feeling like he isn’t a proper stalker cause he can’t afford the 349.99 arrangement, do we ladies? And let’s not forget with every order you get a tune from The Stalker’s Songbook. Omg, 1800-Marketing Geniuses…what were you thinking?!
This has to be about owing something to someone. It’s like Gaga doing a walmart campaign.
Right??!! Oh my god-hysteria.
Ugh….he’s like the white male version of Pitbull; it all seems so forced and cheesy as to ever be sexy.
How does he go from what he was last year to this (all in 1 year)?
Who on earth are his managers?
Thank you for starting my Friday with a good laugh!! 🙂
Happy weekend everybody!
Wow, talk about a fall from grace.
How on earth did his record company even sign off on this album? Who thought this would be a good idea? A lot of people had their hands in creating this crapfest of a record, and the record company had to sign off on its release.
Bleach is way cheaper than flowers. Just sayin’
Oh my gosh!!!! LOL, I cannot stop laughing! My stomach hurts!!!! Ha, ha, ha
I’ve never liked him but I can’t help it but feel incredibly bad for him 🙁