Carrie Underwood criticized for saying 35 may be too late to have a big family

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Redbook released an interview with Carrie Underwood a few days ago which Corey covered. At the time, the big news on Carrie was still her accident in which she broke her wrist and ended up with 40-50 stitches in her face. Like Corey, I wondered how long this accident would fill pages. One of the questions was how big of a family she wanted, to which Carrie replied, “I’m 35, so we may have missed our chance to have a big family. We always talk about adoption and about doing it when our child or children are a little older.” I didn’t give her response two thoughts. But others did, and they wanted Carrie to know she was wrong.

Carrie Underwood’s candid comments about her plans for more children have caused a commotion with her fans.

Underwood and her husband Mike Fisher, 38, share one child together — a boy named Isaiah.

Many fans applauded her openness but some felt she was misguided, while others did their best to encourage the singer to not lose hope.

“Seriously Miss Underwood, I was 44 and my wife 42 when child number seven was born. It depends on your health and your desire only,” one fan wrote on Twitter.

Another said, “Carrie, you can still have babies at 35… women are having babies later in life than your mother Carol’s generation. They try to establish their careers where Mom’s generation a lot of times we’re happy as housewives. Nowadays, you need two salary’s to make a ‘go of it” w/ children.”

However, some agreed with Underwood. “It is a medical FACT that when a woman reaches 40 she is in the HIGH risk for having a child, I have a daughter-in-law that has just gone through that with her doctor and he has said that with each year it can get worse,” one user wrote on Facebook. So what Carrie is saying is backed up by the medical expert’s.”

“I do not understand the outrage the public has over Carrie’s statement on fertility. Pregnancy is a risk no matter the age, but I see no reason to get upset over an issue like this. I don’t see the logic in this heat over a mere comment,” another fan said.

[From People]

Honestly, I am not here to criticize either camp on this. I know people feel strongly about putting age-limits on when women should get pregnant. If I was 35 and still hoping for children, this would be an emotional hot button for me and I’d wish people would stop making comments like this. As it is, I had my first child at 36 and my second at 38 and needed birth control to keep from getting pregnant again. So a comment like this doesn’t bother me because it wasn’t a limitation I suffered *knocks wood*.

However, I don’t think Carrie was trying to do anything other than deflect the question. She didn’t want to be rude by not answering but maybe she doesn’t want to discuss her family planning in every interview going forward. Plus, a “big” family would be hampered by her age given she is also working on her career. But we all know if a woman were to say that her career was limiting the number of children she had, it would get a far different response than a woman who blames her age.

I also don’t think anyone really ‘came for’ Carrie. These comments are pretty tame, IMO. I had harsher words thrown at me when I posted my banana bread recipe. (That’s right, I’m looking at you BakerBuddy439!)

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Photo credit: WENN Photos

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108 Responses to “Carrie Underwood criticized for saying 35 may be too late to have a big family”

  1. MerrymerrymonthofMay says:

    I’m officially tired of her

  2. CurlyWurly says:

    Pretending that women are endlessly fertile isn’t doing women any favours. Of course, there are exceptions, but a woman’s fertility window is a real thing, with real limits. I have SO many friends going through the grief and expense of IVF, investigating donor eggs (and I have one friend who recently gave birth to a beautiful girl made possible by a donor egg). We are all in our early 40′s or late 30′s – hardly geriatric but that is what we are considered in medical/pregnancy terms. The more women know about their own fertile window, the more heartbreak and money it will save for these women in the long run.

    • Snazzy says:

      Still better to spend that money and suffer with the right person than to have kids with the first asshole that comes along because they are in their fertile window.

    • Betsy says:

      This! I had my kids late-early (30 for the first) but it doesn’t do anyone any favors to fib and pretend that we have at 35 the same fertility we had at 22. To be clear, I don’t think anyone needs to have children, especially if they don’t want them, and I know many women who got pregnant easily with their desired children in their early forties, but ON AVERAGE it is harder and you will 100% be at higher risk for various issues. Go in armed with the facts, and then proceed, but Carrie’s not wrong. I can’t even believe her statemnet of fact is up for debate.

      • AG-UK says:

        Agree I was over 40 but tried for a few years with tablets/then IUI then as drugs were f…g expensive (8 viles for injections a day at $85 each x9 days this was years ago) decided to just do IVF once if it didn’t work I’d adopt luckily it did but I only had a 5% chance. I was 41.. unexplained fertility but the production of eggs drops tremendously after 30 that’s why you find some having twins in mid to late 30′s as one month you might have an egg the next not or you get 2 eggs. I love my son but having a big family was never in the cards for me. In England they call you a “mature mother” and give you to special mid wives..

    • Hoopjumper says:

      Agree. I’m almost 34 and not planning to try for at least another year. I would be doing myself a disservice not to at least consider the risks. Also, I think she said “big family ” and not “children” for a reason.

      • Barrett says:

        My best friends had 1 and then her fertility declined steeply at 35 and she only ever miscarried. It’s in your gene pool. I have endometriosis undiagnosed and also had only miscarriages after 35. I have friends who are fertile myrtle into early 40s. We all have different genes. But the bell curve has a fertility decline at 35 (even if you can still have them). I don’t think we should bash her women just need to be aware and educated so they can make the best choice for themselves.

    • based says:

      Your friends fertility issues may not be due to her age though, so we don’t know for certain how real this window is. The traditional belief that fertility significantly drops at 35 has long been debunked, but for some reason it sticks to desperate women and finger-wagging breeders like glue. The vast majority of women in that age range can produce healthy children naturally…something like 85% do so within the first year of trying.

      • CurlyWurly says:

        Wow – ‘desperate women and finger-wagging breeders.’ That’s a very compassionate way to talk about women who have difficulty conceiving after a certain age.

      • Millenial says:

        Anecdotally, I can tell you 85% of my friends over 35 are not having an easy peasy time getting pregnant. Most of my friends are academics in their 30′s and there’s plenty of heartache to go around. So many women were using our university’s fertility benefits to try to get pregnant that they cut them from our health care coverage (we were lucky to have them to begin with, I suppose). So, n of 1, but I agree with the above poster that it isn’t doing women any favors to think they can put it off without worry. I have a lot of early 30′s friends currently putting it off and I am anticipating a lot of tears and grief in a few years.

      • annan says:

        It’s not 85 % for 35 it’s 65 %. At 40 it’s 30 %.

        But oh she is preggo.

      • based says:

        You’re right, it’s not 85%…it’s 82%. No anecdotes, just statistics here:
        “Studies conducted with actual women during the 21st century show a very different fertility picture. Twenge cites a 2004 study published in Obstetrics & Gynecology that showed 82 percent of women ages 35 to 39 conceived within a year of having sex at least twice a week, not much lower than the 86 percent of women ages 27 to 34 under the same conditions.

        Another study Twenge cites was released this year in Fertility and Sterility. It showed that 78 percent of women ages 35 to 40 got pregnant within a year of having sex during their fertile times, compared with 84 percent of women ages 20 to 34. So, there’s a drop, but hardly one that should send women into a “baby panic,” as Twenge calls it.”

        I know that it’s comforting to owe fertility issues to age instead of the plethora of other possibilities, but I’m just offering facts. Most of my friends in their 30′s and 40′s who’ve tried to have children naturally have done so. One of them had 3 kids, a baby every other year up to age 42. But…that’s anecdotal.

      • Millenial says:

        I’m happy for your friends that they’ve been blessed/had an easy time.

    • Pamela says:

      I think it is insane that people are mad that she said that. Yes, some people can have babies well into their forties, but there are also people that struggle with fertility in their early 30s. You would likely know until you try. It just varies widely….and scientific facts back up a drop in fertility as women age.

      She said it may be too late for a LARGE family, and yeah, at 35 with a big career, it might realistically be hard to pop out 4 more kids.

      Women should NOT get pregnant at a young age or with a guy that they don’t think is right—-JUST to beat that ticking clock. But yeah, if you want to have a lot of kids….be aware that fertility CAN be tricky as you get older and just because others are able to at 45, doesn’t mean the same is in the cards for you at 35 even.
      All that said, she is loaded, which would make fertility docs, donors, surrogacy and/or adoption much easier for her than it is for “common folk”.

    • Alisha says:

      I do not think she was even referring to fertility at all. For all we know she could have been speaking to where she is at in her life or her energy levels. I am her age and I cannot imagine having children now at all, but power to people that can and do. I think a lot of people are internalizing her comments when she is just speaking about herself.

    • Louise177 says:

      I don’t think Carrie was specifically talking about fertility. I think at a later stage in life, she doesn’t see herself getting pregnant 4 or 5 more times. Especially since Carrie also has a career. People are acting like she said she couldn’t get pregnant at all because of her age.

    • Nikki says:

      Thank you Curly. Everyone assumes you can have babies later, and if you say otherwise, you’re unsupportive of choices. BIOLOGY is less supportive of choices, and I personally have 5 close friends and relatives who have spent a lot of money and tears trying. Two have complained bitterly to me about being fed the image of fortunate celebrities instead of being told the facts of conception rates at various ages.

    • Jag says:

      “I have SO many friends going through the grief and expense of IVF, investigating donor eggs (and I have one friend who recently gave birth to a beautiful girl made possible by a donor egg).”

      Why not adopt? Grief due to IVF can be relieved by instead adopting a child.

  3. Snazzy says:

    My sister said the same thing about having kids after 30. I told her she was an idiot, but then left it. These things are just so personal, and you never know what people are going through. To each his own, in the end.

    • Alisha says:

      @snazzy why would you say she is an idiot for that? Some people do not want to have kids when they are older than a certain age. I have a friend who had all her kids in her very early 20s because she wanted to be done then.

      My cutoff was around 28 because that is when my career started taking off. If someone told me I was an idiot for that I would probably not speak to them again.

      • Snazzy says:

        I should’ve provided more context. She was basically saying that anyone who has kids after 30 is irresponsible and stupid. I know lots of people who waited because they wanted to be financially secure, they were doing well in their careers or they just hadn’t met the right person. I called her an idiot because she’s judging, and I refuse to do that, because I think the timing is different for everyone so people shouldn’t be judged.

  4. Betsy says:

    She’s not wrong. Mathematically it’s a lot harder to have a big family if you start at 35. Can you even imagine the poor toll and sub optimum health of babies born yearly, as in that angry fan’s wife above? If she started at 35 and had number 7 at 42… the mind reels as to who would willingly participate in such self abuse in this day and age. (I’m guessing there’s a strong streak of religion in there.)

  5. Miss Gloss says:

    I’m not going to lie, this bugs. I was 37 and had been trying to get pregnant for a bit. We already have age limits put upon us (um, menopause), so no need to impose more of them. There are so many good mommas who decided to do so a little later when they were more mature and had more resources. I know there are a lot of really good young mommas out there too, but the fact that this is even a thing bugs me. I’m a much better mom than I would have been in my twenties and early thirties…more patience, more resources, different priorities (I used to be a workaholic and it was so incredibly important to me to give my whole being to my job…I would have missed out on a lot).

    • Pinetree13 says:

      But she didn’t say anything about having a baby not being possible at that age….she said having a BIG family aka a LOT of kids. And as one who’s fertility challenged I agree with her. If you wait until your late thirties or beyond there’s nothing wrong with that but the chances of having four plus kids at that age are low.

    • LaraK says:

      She’s not saying you can’t be a mom after 35. She’s not even saying that she will not have another baby.
      BUT if you want to have, say 4 or 5 kids, starting after 35 it’s not likely to happen. And it will be risky. It’s possible. Just a LOT harder.
      Many women become moms after 35 (like me), but I also had to face the reality that I was higher risk than if I was 25. I stopped after 2 kids, in part because of age.
      Chill and enjoy motherhood.

  6. Missy says:

    Maybe she’s speaking for herself and family, not anybody else, not sure why people are taking her comments so personal. I always told my spouse that past thirty, I didn’t want to have anymore kids. Our first was at twenty four and an accident, we tried for a few years for another baby, only succeeded once and it ended in miscarriage shortly before I turned thirty. I missed my deadline and I’m fine with that. Life moves on, I love the kid I have and that’s enough for me. Maybe Carrie feels the same.

    • annabanana says:

      Thank you. Why can’t what she wants for herself just be respected. Being a mom isn’t just about giving birth but raising a child too. Maybe she doesn’t want to be taking care of a 10 year old child at 45 or she wants to retire early and having a lot of children will prevent her from doing this.There are a lot of reasons.

  7. Jane says:

    Carrie sounds dumb. If her and her husband wanted a big family (whatever that means) they could afford do it. Surrogates,adoption etc

    She’s deflecting like Jennifer Anniston.

  8. Bubble bee says:

    She said it “may be” it might be. She’s literally talking about possibility. How can anyone try to correct her about what’s possible for her family and her body?

  9. Alexandria says:

    She said ‘we’ and she’s not saying others have also missed out. I don’t find her words annoying.

    Anyway, the burden is also not on ladies? Correct me if I’m wrong because latest research is also saying there is a risk for the child if the father is above 40.

  10. Anilehcim says:

    I don’t think she meant anything malicious by it and she’s perfectly entitled to say what she plans to do with her life and body without people flipping out because that doesn’t fit in with their plans or their truth. If Carrie has decided that 35 is too old FOR HER to continue having children, that’s her right. People truly do look for things to get upset about.

    Conversely, I’m turning 32 this month and I’m probably the absolute most single that I’ve ever been after getting out of a toxic/abusive relationship that I spent most of my 20′s in. I get random adds that pop up on social media about freezing my eggs to “keep them young” despite never having even googled the process, so I know what it’s like to be faced with society’s expectations or even the knowledge that realistically I’m biologically past my fertile prime years. It’s weird how you can be comfortable in your own life and still somehow end up feeling pressured by what others might expect of you.

  11. Jegede says:

    Carrie has been open about wanting a sibling for her little boy.

    She and Mike have been open about having a sibling for their 3 year old. Maybe it’s a struggle.

    They’ve been together for close to 10 years and married for 8.
    Maybe they envisaged a huge family by now but it hasn’t happened for them?

    I don’t see her judging anyone, it’s just life hasn’t turned out how she expected for whatever reason and she’s been honest about it.

  12. Tanesha86 says:

    People are taking this way too personally, it seems fairly obvious to me that she’s speaking for herself and not making some blanket statement that no woman should get pregnant after 35. For me personally 32 is my cutoff but every woman has to decide what works best for her or if she even wants to have children. She’s not passing judgement here people, relax.

  13. Birdix says:

    I’m here for the banana bread recipe. And to say that when I was ready to have children at 35, I asked my doctor about it. His response? Well for most people it’s still as easy as falling out of bed. If you have problems then we’ll look into it.

    • Betsy says:

      Having a baby gets a bit more difficult, certainly your pregnancy is treated differently over 35 (and then differently again over 40), she’s saying having a big family is difficult if you start over 35. Mathematically she’s totally correct. There’s a reason that religions that like grow make sure that their women begin having babies barely out of their teens.

  14. jessamine says:

    There is a lot more that goes into family planning than just straight up fertility — overall health, energy levels, age spacing of your children, career trajectory/retirement plans … Having more kids isn’t *just* about producing babies so I don’t really understand how this could be offensive to anyone since she’s specifically talking about her OWN family circumstances and priorities not stamping an expiration date on women in general.

  15. Medusa says:

    I can understand fertility being a hot button for some but it is tiring when every single word is nitpicked. She said nothing offensive and she was speaking about herself and her family. If other people want to have babies at 55 then go ahead, she;s not talking about you.

  16. fortune100 says:

    Wow, crazy. A woman can brag about ending a pregnant these days and that is her choice and she is applauded, but it is not acceptable for a woman to admit that there is an expiration point on a woman’s fertility? I have had friends go into menopause in their late-30’s, so saying it might be more difficult to have a large family at a later age is just a fact. Not to mention that it is easier to bounce back when you are 28 versus 38, so one child a year is going to be rough on any one, but especially someone who is over 40.

    Why is a “Woman’s Choice” only apply to abortion and not other aspects of our life? She has the right to mention how difficult it might be for an older woman to have a large family! It is science folks, our eggs have expiration dates on them and it is ignorant to assume you can easily have kids through your 40’s… No one is encouraging you to go have random babies in your 20’s to be safe, but just realize it is not always as easy as it seems.

    • Betsy says:

      “Why is a “Woman’s Choice” only apply to abortion and not other aspects of our life?”

      It’s a two pronged answer: women who are experiencing infertility take it personally and anti-choicers don’t think women should have the ability to choose their own family size. Carrie is just stating the obvious here – that having a big family is difficult if you start after 35. Again, I don’t think women have to have children, but I also think it’s unfair to pretend that we all have Hollywood level “fertility” into our fifties.

    • magnoliarose says:

      I don’t see the connection. What does abortion have to do with anything about this story? Even your analogy is confusing. No one is talking about her rights to her own body or politics. We aren’t discussing actions. We are discussing her opinions.

  17. Chaine says:

    Ummm she needs to talk to that Duggar woman who had like ten kids after 35.

  18. Sash says:

    I’m over her.

    Many people have children after 35, especially recently. Eva Mendes is a recent example, two after 35 and still thriving. Hayek, JLo, Moore, Davis, Longoria…

  19. KNy says:

    I don’t understand why ANYONE is upset by her comments. She is acknowledging that she is getting older and that, at 35, she likely can’t have a lot more biological kids. She also mentions that they talk about adoption as well in order to achieve the goal of a “big” family. We also don’t know if they’ve been trying to get pregnant and not succeeding. So many people talk about how easily they got pregnant – but a lot stay quiet about the difficulty they’ve had. Maybe she had a lot of trouble getting pregnant with her son.

    She didn’t make a value judgment on anyone. She just talked about herself honestly regarding a serious and complicated subject – it’s refreshing, considering Jennifer Aniston is like 50 years old and it seems like the barrage of magazine covers about her secretly being pregnant have only recently stopped. That people can find some way to get offended is beyond me.

  20. aang says:

    My 17 year old is already stressing about this! She wants kids young but she also wants a graduate degree or med school, and she wants to join the peace corps, and do a Disney internship, and study abroad, and………At least she acknowledges that she wants kids but may not want to ever be married and knows that she has that option. It’s amazing to me that she feels that freedom at her age.

  21. Rands says:

    She just announced on her Instagram she is pregnant

  22. homeslice says:

    I didn’t get to decide anything about my fertility. I didn’t even meet the person I wanted to marry until I was 32..,married at 34 and thought pregnancy would naturally follow. Wrong. We fell into the “unexplained” category and long story short, after 5 years I followed my gut and went to a doctor that would treat me and not my “fertility” issues. 2 natural pregnancies followed at 39 and 41.
    Ladies be an advocate for yourselves. I feel like I was taken advantage of by a “top” fertility doctor. He blew all kinds of smoke up my butt. The first time I walked in to his office at age almost 35 I told him I felt like I had endo due to symptoms I endured all my mature life. Blah, blah, give us all the money for in vitro and this is the only answer. Fast forward 5 years, no baby and turns out I had endo. Sorry for the rant. I have a lot of bitterness on this subject :(

  23. Jess says:

    Her response is more realistic from a medical view. I’m 37 and had one child 10 years ago, planning on another at some point soon and every single doctor I have tells me to hurry up and do it. Not only because of the risks to my body but the risks to a baby goes up with as well. I do think our bodies will evolve to better support pregnancies “later” in life, it’s in our nature to reproduce and survive.

    Anyway, hopefully I won’t have much trouble conceiving when the time comes, right now I track my ovulation so we know when to abstain, things seem to be working properly.

    Edit-Carrie just announced she’s pregnant, lol

    • Veronica S. says:

      Yeah, I don’t see the problem with what she said, either. Realistically, women’s bodies have natural limits on them for a reason – pregnancy is a medical condition. It can be very hard on the body. It’s subject to a lot of variables regarding whether or not it goes well for the mother and child. An older woman is likely to be married to a man of the same age or older, so you’re both contributing gametes that are entering an age where meiosis becomes less genetically reliable.

      Having a baby later in life in fine, but having a BIG family? That’s questionable in its pragmatism and intent. Adopting is fine. Birthing four kids past 35, even done right after another, is asking a lot of the human body. The more sensible option is having 1-2 biological kids and then adopting others if you want a large one.

  24. Eliza says:

    She said BIG family, not too old to have a family.

    I’m 32 and just had my first, i would agree times not in my favor for having a BIG family. My grandma had 8, that’s a big family and my clock will end b4 then. Then again we only want 2, so we don’t feel rushed/pressured. My mother went into menopause in her early 40s, your own family history dictates a lot, I most likely will go early too.

  25. Veronica S. says:

    Having one or two kids in your late thirties is not the same thing as birthing 5-6 children in a rapid time frame as the clock winds down. The latter can be downright dangerous to the the mother and child. I get that women are frustrated by the idea of being defined by a natural expiration date and the general aging process, but pretending that childbirth isn’t a potentially dangerous medical condition isn’t wise, either. The real issue is moving away from the idea of women being defined by reproductive status altogether.

    This being said, adoption is totally an option for the over 35ers who can afford it. I wouldn’t recommend adopting six kids in your fifties and sixties, but it’s fine for thirty-somethings.

  26. Starryfish29 says:

    Jesus Christ, people really will get offended by anything. There are a whole lot of people reading things into her comments that simply aren’t supported by what she actually said.

  27. Incognito says:

    She said a “big family” which does not imply that she can’t have a baby after 35, just that she feels she may have missed the opportunity to have a lot of babies. And it is true that it’s harder for many women to get pregnant and sustain a pregnancy as you get older. We don’t know (and aren’t entitled) to the history of her trying to get pregnant either. Maybe she doesn’t want to be continually pregnant in order to have a big family either with back to back pregnancies.

    I also don’t think anyone came after her either.

    I know a lot of Celebitchy readers don’t like her, but I really like her. I think she’s got a great voice and puts on a great show. I think her fall did a number on her self confidence because she was unsure of how it would turn out. Reporters continue to ask her about it and she answers. People say she could say “I’ve already talked about this” and shut down the question but then Plenty of people would call her a b****.

    And she just announced her second pregnancy this morning.

  28. HeyThere! says:

    Oh my. She didn’t say you can’t have kids past 35. Sheesh. My grandpa was the youngest of 9. I don’t consider 4 kids and under a big family. 5+ kids to me is a big family. To each their own.

  29. Mo' Comments Mo' Problems says:

    I wonder how an average middle class family handles having more than 1 or 2 children…because it’s expensive.

  30. Profiterole says:

    That’s a hot topic. I’m 30 and quite sure that I want a child (I’m scared to death to do anything wrong with him/her) but when I talk about my desire to have just one child (I’m absolutely sure of that), people are generally like “oh don’t wait too much, time flies” or “at your age I already had my three kids” or “you’re 30 and you don’t even have a child” and it pisses me off. I just want to scream ” my body, my choice”.

  31. girl_ninja says:

    Poor Carrie, she seems so insecure. I hope she can work on that for herself.

  32. CK says:

    Sigh. I actually like it when female stars talk about their pregnancy woes/joys as it expands on a conversation that is rarely had, but extremely needed. However, I feel like folks are always ready to take personal offense and attack the speaker.

  33. Pandy says:

    Social media*eyeroll*. I think they missed the part where she said BIG FAMILY. And of course that makes sense.

  34. Honey bear says:

    Yeah sure. You may be able to get pregnant after 35, but the risk that something will be wrong with your baby goes up significantly. Not sure if this fact is being ignored. It almost seems selfish on the mother’s part if they intentionally delay childbirth, knowing it increases the risk to their child.

  35. RspbryChelly says:

    Bakerbuddy439 😂😂👊🏼

  36. Himmiefan says:

    There’s so much knee-jerk extremism around this issue. Sure, if she wants 6 more kids, then no, she probably doesn’t have time. But few people want that many anyway. Carrie’s got plenty of time to have 2 – 3 more, and the odds are that she and the babies will be fine.

  37. Gippy says:

    Spending thousands on fertility treatments – no insurance coverage :( Only 31, but unexplained fertility. It’s been awful, but I’m happy we started treatments when we did. It does not do women any good to pretend that fertility does not decline with age. Some women have a much longer fertility window, but there’s no way to know. I find it rude to ask someone’s family planning, even if they are a pop star. You don’t know what’s going on with them personally, mentally, financially, or physically – maybe they simply only want one or two.

    • Amelie says:

      Sorry to hear about your fertility struggles. I hope you end up with a beautiful baby. :/ Fertility is a weird thing and I don’t think it only has to do with age. It is a main factor but I think genetics and just pure luck have a lot to do with it (and may depend on your choice of partner, it’s not always the woman who is the “infertile” one). My aunt struggled for years to conceive before she finally had her only child, my cousin, at 40. My friends who have kids were able to conceive almost immediately, it didn’t seem like much time had passed between the time they told me they were trying and the time they told me they were pregnant (one already has 3 kids and she’s only 30).

      Meanwhile my sister’s friend who married at 25 has been trying for the past 3 years to get pregnant and so far nada. I have another friend who has considered adoption because she had childhood bone cancer and received chemo and she isn’t sure of her fertility. My cousin in France got testicular cancer in his twenties (they removed everything) and he still hasn’t looked at the test results that basically tell him if he’s able to procreate or not because he hasn’t wanted to deal with it.

      However Lance Armstrong has 5 kids and he also had testicular cancer. Amal Clooney got pregnant naturally with twins at 39 and Halle Berry got pregnant with her second naturally well into her 40s. I don’t think fertility is an exact science, some seem to be blessed while others struggle. It’s not fair but it’s not something that has an exact explanation.

  38. Annika says:

    She just announced she’s pregnant 😁

  39. AmunetMaat says:

    I totally get what she is saying. I always wanted 2-3 kids. I thought getting pregnant would be easy, it wasn’t. It took a year of trying to conceive. I was 34 when I had my son and after a rough pregnancy and recovery I see my dreams of having more kids evaporate. It’s just a reality. Recovery was a b*+ch.

  40. L says:

    I had my son when I was 23, now I’m 26 and already feel like I’m pushing it when it comes to another. I refuse to be pregnant in my 30’s, so if I do have another, it’ll be within the next few years.

    On the other hand, a close friend of mine just had her 5th child at the age of 42 and she couldn’t be happier or healthier (both her and the baby.)

    We as women have lots of choices and options out there, I’m not sure if Carrie meant medically or just personally that she wouldn’t have a big family at that age, but I don’t see a problem with it either way. To each their own 🤷🏻‍♀️

  41. Helen Smith says:

    Meh…she said big family not children. Probably is true unless you go the octomom route.
    She also said have not adopt. So yeah, you could adopt the additional children.

  42. Fifi says:

    It offends me because men don’t receive the same criticism.

    Actually sperm turns to Sh&t after 35-40+ and causes more health defects. So until men receive the same level of judgement, I don’t want to hear a word some insensitive person has to say about women over 35. We get it with everything. Work, dating, clothes, acting our age, this and that. Just stop.

    Every day on the daily mail is some old man 50+ having a baby with a younger woman. High chance they used IVF. But there’s never ANY mention of that.

    I say this as an IVF baby. Both of my parents were around 39/40 when they had me. Mum was extremely fertile. Dad was the issue. Same story goes for all my other IVF friends. Infertile dads.

    Can we stop criticising women and their age for one effing day?

  43. MSat says:

    Opinions are fine and all, but there is science on this. LOADS of it. Saying that any woman can start a large family at 35 because “women can do anything” is a load of rubbish. Any fertility specialist will tell you that once you hit 35 the chances of conceiving and carrying a healthy pregnancy to term start to dwindle. Eggs have a shelf life, ladies. Sperm does not.

    And personal anecdotes are nice but they’re not evidence. If you started having a boatload of kids at 35 and carried healthy babies to term, you’re the exception, not the rule. Be thankful for what you have and stop rubbing it in to everyone else.

  44. JanetDR says:

    It is amazing that her perfectly reasonable statement about her family is up for criticism.

  45. DS9 says:

    Look, pregnancy or adoption, having a large family after 35 is an exercise in logistics and pacing.

    I would assume a large family is at least four and she’s only got one kid now. If you don’t want everyone in diapers, that’s two years at least between bringing home a new one if you stick with infants. This puts her bringing home a 4th child at age 41.

    This would not include any struggles to get pregnant, any miscarriages, any legal hold ups of an adoption process, illnesses, work/touring, etc.

    Just practically speaking she is correct. Most people do not have the stamina or will to start on a large family after 35.

    Hell, I’m 37 and I really want a fourth kid. I could do it. I wish I could do it but realistically I’ve accepted that it’s not going to happen. The notion of gestating, breastfeeding, potty training, paying for daycare for an infant exhausts me regardless of what my uterus could actually do.

  46. Steff says:

    I am 33 and currently pregnant with my first and altough I fell pregnant after really only one try most of my friends who are in their mid thirties struggle with their fertility. I know many couples who have done IVF. If you happen to have a condition that influences your fertility like PCOS or endometriosis this is just not getting better over time, the older you get, the worst it gets. So I was extremely shockend how “easy” it was for me to get pregnant (and stay pregnant!) as I expected I will have the same tough time as most women I know. I was so convinced that this will most likely never work out for me (as I have some form of diagnosed endometriosis) that I accepted staying most likely childfree and was also okay with that. So, even now at 33 I know I will never have a big family, which is ok. Honestly I can already tell that I have less energy compared to when I was in my 20ies so I am pretty sure I personally would not want to be pregnant again close to 40. But, everybody and their energy levels are different.

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