Yesterday we saw photos of Ben Affleck headed to rehab. He looked miserable and Jennifer Garner looked disgusted. One of our agencies had a video of Jen gracefully asking the paparazzi to move to the end of the block and to show respect. She did not ask them to leave or stop filming, maybe she knew that would be pointless. A photographer explained that there were new guys there who were parked closer to the house.
Several of you floated the theory that Jen may delayed signing off on the divorce so that she would have legal leverage over Ben. That’s a valid take on this and one I didn’t consider. As for why Ben went to rehab, US Magazine reports that Ben “wanted help and knew he needed help.” Remember that Ben is covering US Magazine this week with a story from Jen’s perspective, which came out before he went to rehab. The major celebrity outlets all have insider quotes about this sad situation and the fact that Jen staged an intervention to get Ben to go to rehab. I’m including quotes from several below. They reinforce the same points, which has been the Garner-Affleck’s media strategy for years. They saturate the press with differently worded quotes and hope that their transparency will help them (Jen in this case) control the narrative. Here are the major points:
Lindsay and Ben split due to his drinking, after that he spiraled out of control
ET: “Lindsay was a huge support to Ben and he was doing really well. She truly helped him with his sobriety and Jen loved that he had a steady situation. Lindsay thought they had a future together, and she was a positive influence on him, but he felt tied down.”“Just the other night he was out late with a group of old friends and lots of women, all who were partying up a storm. It’s truly worrisome for those who have seen him fall off the wagon in the past. The bottom line is he was going out again and hanging with drinkers, and it seems to have all happened too quickly.”
US: “Ben’s drinking was a driving force behind their split. The notion that Ben was taking steps to be healthier and sober prior to this intervention isn’t all true. Ben hasn’t been sober or been that present for his family and relationship with Lindsay, and now everyone knows the reason why. He was suffering, and his addiction undoubtedly took over.”
Lindsay has washed her hands of Ben
US: “Lindsay does not want to be involved in the media circus that follows Ben — especially in this difficult time/ She is a private person and has taken the necessary steps to avoid the hurtful and often unwelcome attention.”Ben reached out for help
E!: “Ben was having a really tough time. He continues to battle addiction. He reached out for help this week.”“He told Jen and was not resistant. He asked her to take him and she wanted to be there for him.”
People:”One of the key elements with taking control of your addiction is knowing when to seek help, which he did, and it is a major step in the right direction”
“One crucial aspect of Ben’s recovery is for him to be able to seek help when he feels as though he is not in control — when his ongoing treatment and meetings with sober coaches aren’t quite enough. The best case scenario is for him to seek help, which he has done willingly, and for that, we are all very grateful and hopeful.:
Jen saw the booze being delivered and staged the intervention
E!: “Jen had family in town and a lot going on but she was well aware of what was going on. She saw the photo of the alcohol being delivered to his house and knew he was home all day and that was the breaking point.”People: “It’s very stressful for her. And also devastating for her to have to stage an intervention in the middle of the afternoon, pretty much in public. But this was a crisis situation.”
What Jen told the kids
E!: “Jen told the kids that Ben is sick and needs help from a doctor. She is open and honest with them. It’s extremely sad and disappointing that this has happened again, but she will continue to be there for him and not turn her back. She feels like she can’t do that to her kids and that she wants him to be in their lives.”
[Sources People, ET, E! and US]
There’s been a lot of debate as to whether Jennifer Garner is in a codependent relationship with Ben, whether she’s a saint or is doing this for her own image and if she should just cut him off. The answer is likely somewhere in between. Jen could be very image-focused, she’s a celebrity and that’s part of her job, and she could be extremely concerned that the father of her children is in the throes of addiction and is neglecting his health and family. She probably knows her romantic relationship with Ben is over but she’s committed to being a support for him. To his credit Ben went to rehab willingly. I hope that he just he gets sober and maintains it for some time before he opens up to the press. I know there’s so much interest in Ben and his family but he needs to take time to himself to figure things out. (See: Simon Pegg. He waited until he had seven years of sobriety before he talked about it. However he is a character actor at a lower level of fame and was able to keep it under wraps.)
Many people believe that alcoholics can’t drink moderately and Ben has shown that he can’t. Seeing an Oscar winner with lottery money in the bank throwing his career and relationships away for booze helps remind me never to go there again.
On a lighter note Shauna Sexton is about to go the way of Christine Ouzounian, right? She staged some bikini pics before Affleck’s rehab stint, just like Christine. Incidentally, Jen was photographed at a water park with her son right before Ben went to rehab. Here she is doing her thing yesterday. We’ve heard she has a new boyfriend but details have been vague so far.
Jen approaching the paparazzi to ask them to move down the street before driving Ben to rehab.
photos credit: Backgrid
I am usually irritated by JG’s pollyanna schtick but today after seeing these pictures I really, really felt for her.
I finally get it.
I was JG once and you do this stuff not for them, but for the kids. Honestly, mothers will walk over hot coals to make sure their children are protected, whether that be emotionally, physically, spiritually or mentally.
Sending lots of love to Ms Garner today.
Agreed 100 percent
I feel for Jen being in the position of having to wipe his ass all the time but she wants her children to have their father around so I get it. However, Ben needs to man up and take responsibility for his life and addictions.
That photo of her handing the fast food to him says everything.
Yup – I have nothing negative to say about JG. If she was looking for good PR she could very well have been the heartbroken victim of an alcoholic, cheating husband. She would have had middle aged white women falling over themselves to support her in that scenario. Instead, she has repeatedly put her dignity and own feelings aside (and been labelled a clinger, doormat, desperate in the meanwhile), to support the father of her children.
Good on her. I hope Ben gets his act together and is able to be the parent/co-parent that his kids and ex wife deserve.
If this ends badly, at least she will be able to look her kids in the eye and know that she tried to help their dad. It takes a lot of strength to walk away from a situation like this, but also an enormous amount of strength to stick around.
I agree-that last photo clinched it for me too. She looks so over him, but I’m sure she’s trying to think of her children. He looks drunk in those photos, not hungover.
No matter how much money you have, growing up with an addict parent can be devastating-I’m willing to believe this is not about her image.
Clare-I agree completely and think if she was that concerned about her image she would’ve given us all the dirty details of his cheating and drinking, and played the victim card to the fullest extent. I haven’t seen her do that at all, to me she seems like a decent woman who fell in love with an addict, and she’s trying to protect her children, and help him too. I’m shocked we didn’t see any of his friends or family there. It’s been obvious for weeks he’s on a downward spiral, they should’ve been there for him.
I’m just contrasting some of these comments with the much gentler and supportive comments about Demi Lovato’s also serious substance addiction. If drug or alcohol addiction is a disease it is a disease for all addicts including Ben Affleck.
I doubt it was fast food. Likely a prescription medication refill. Maybe a barf bag.
Anyone who ever has to deal with alcoholism or other addiction issues in their family deserve the utmost respect and empathy. They may not be perfect, and they may not handle all that is thrown at them in the best way when faced with these issues, but the self-victimization of most alcoholics and addicts and their refusal to take responsibility for where they are in life, can wear down even the most loving/forgiving person in the world.
@Tourmaline – I think the difference is multi layered. Demi has always spoken openly about her struggles, whereas Ben has tried to deny or cover or hide his. BUT men are not often open about their emotional struggles.
Anyway, I do hope this latest rehab works and sticks for Ben. I’ve always thought he wasn’t living life on his terms and this contributed to his struggles. He married, fathered kids, and I don’t think he was naturally wired for either of those things.
As for Jen, I don’t view anyone being hard on her. She’s doing fine and she doesn’t need my sympathy or support. She guarantees the focus is on how much this hurts her and the kids and has lots of support as a result. The life at risk here is Ben’s life and why it’s at risk is part of what he will work on in rehab, thank goodness.
Absolutely. I also really felt for her seeing those pics at her Hollywood star with her kids, her parents, her sisters and their husbands and their kids: probably one of the stand out moments in her life and she’s got this horrible burden at the same time.
Completely agree. I really feel for her and I get what she’s trying to do.
Also, on another note, I love her style right now
I’m definitely in the opposite camp on this one. And most other times too. in LA, no pics are allowed any more of children unless the parents allow it. So many strikes on Me Garner for allowing it far too many times.
And now this, clear shots, following them every where, more clear shots. Deeply personal, deeply serious situation and the public is along for the ride? Celebrities know how to get things done w/out the glare. This entire episode puffs her up and makes her look good.
Ms Garner needs to crack open that bible she is carrying and read Matt 6:1: “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
The paps were around his house for quite some time and stayed there after he showed up with the 22 years old model. They were just there waiting something to happen.
Sammy, you are misrepresenting the law. It doesn’t forbid photographing kids, they can’t harass children. Per the law, that means “seriously alarms, annoys, torments or terrorizes” . It has to be intentional and directed at s specific child.
@ Sammy
Read the quote and turn it around on yourself. You are coming to a gossip site to preach.
If Ben needed help and he had the paps waiting outside his house for another money shot of his 22 yr old hook up that’s on him not her.
I think this is really unfair.
I’m no fan of Affleck or Garner to be honest, but I have to defend them both a bit here.
The paps are often hanging around Garner’s house and follow her around LA and several paps are parked near Affleck’s house lately.
It seems that there was a whisper of trouble coming from Affleck for a while now.
He clearly has a serious problem and it seems to me that Jen is trying to help him for his sake and their children’s sake.
She gets a lot of hate on this site, but I don’t think it’s right.
Garner truly seems to be a woman with a good heart and a kind person.
I think she grew up in a loving, functional home, unfortunately she fell in love with an addict and she is unable to re-create a happy childhood she had herself growing up.
Jen has an agreement with many of the paps. They get specific shots of her and the family, and in return, they leave her and the kids alone most of the time, they don’t yell out at her and the kids, and they show respect and space when she asks them. There are other paps who stake out her home and follow her around, though. A lot of celebrities do this and it’s a way to assert some control over an often uncontrollable nuisance. (source: a friend of my husband’s who is a publicist)
@ Sammy :
Please kindly get off your high horse.
You just look petty and silly.
Being reasonable is a good thing!
Seeing the man you used to love at such a point, it’s not easy, regardless of how you feel at that time. There is history, and children, and the memory of the love you had, and there are no easy choices left.
My mother in law took in her ex while he detoxed. He was going to die if he was left by himself.
He looked like Ben, and was only a few years older. He puked up black blood and shit everywhere, crying and shaking for days and he came down, refusing medical help. It was the hardest thing she ever did, taking back this cheating, lying piece of shit that she used to love, cleaning up after him, yet again. So he could live a few more years. It was the hardest thing she’d done until she had to clean mess he left when he died of the same disease.
So let’s not ever get this twisted, Ben is dying. His disease is killing him. This isn’t about image control, or career or any of that, not primarily. This is primarily about a woman who is trying to do her best in a completely f*cked up situation where if she doesn’t intervene, she doesn’t help, a man she used to love, the father of her children, could die.
Perfectly said.
Detritus, yes. I watched something very similar with my ex mother in law. She was married to and had a child with an addict. After a few years their romantic relationship ended, and she became something more like a caretaker. There were a lot of times she let him live in her garage, or sleep on her couch, as long as he didn’t drink or do drugs.
They had a daughter together and she loved her dad. Eventually he passed away from his addictions. It was always sad, he was a nice man, but he had demons and in the end those demons took his life.
I’ve seen that same kindness you’re describing and it’s heartbreaking to watch. I really feel for JG. It takes a lot of strength. It’s not being a doormat to try and save the life of your child’s other parent. It’s a situation a lot of people find themselves in.
I feel if it were me I would ask myself, what if I turn away this time and he dies? I would probably do the same as JG for my ex, especially if he had no one else, and I can’t stand him. And it really seems like Ben doesn’t have anyone else. People mention his brother and mother and friends, and the girlfriend, but where are they?
Detritus – you expressed that so well. So many complicated issues at play. I also wonder whether, in the back of her mind, she is worried about her children being susceptible to the same disease and she is trying to break the cycle so that he can be a good model for them.
Yup. That last pic with her giving him the Jack in the Box bag in the back seat with him looking like one of her kids says it all. God speed Jen, Ben and their family. Addiction is a family disease and a BEOTCH.
Yeah, I don’t think she’s the doormat now (I did before). She’s holding her family together for her kids. No fault and much sympathy.
Absolutely in agreement. She is being a decent human being and a good parent to her kids.
For richer, for poorer, in illness and in health.. Isnt’ that the marriage vows. Either we think alcoholism is a disease and he’s ill and so he should be supported OR accept that it’s a lifestyle choice and not a disease?
I used to find the Pollyanna thing really irritating too, but I see where she’s coming from now. She’s clearly doing things for the sake of the kids, so they can have a present and responsible father. This must suck for her, watching the father of her children so out of control. She is from an extremely tight-knit family and she obviously wants the same for her kids. She’s doing this both because she wants that and because she’s a good person.
The comments about her wanting him to be sober before going through a divorce make a lot of sense. She wants Ben to be thinking clearly and to be able to look after the kids. He can’t look after them while he’s an active addict. It would be so easy for her to sign the papers and say ‘look how dysfunctional and irresponsible my ex is! I want full custody and for him to pay a fortune in child support’, and get exactly that. She’s not after that.
I still think she plays the game with the media with all the contrived pap strolls and pap-friendly outings but I now see where she’s coming from and I respect her position even if the Pollyanna IG persona will continue to make my eyes roll a little.
This is just a terrible situation all around. I’m not interested in picking over her motives. She must really feel between a rock and a hard place.
Lindsay got fed up with his drinking??? Wasn’t she the one drinking w him all along??
I smell spin.
Came here to say that….wasn’t she pictured drinking around him? That’s not much help to an alcoholic
Perhaps Lindsey was helping him to learn to drink in moderation. Some alcoholics can do that, most can’t though. I believe it’s a learned behaviour.
@Stef, if he could drink in moderation, then Ben would not be a alcoholic.
Tiffany
Sort of. I mean, that’s the generalized thing we think of when it comes to an alcoholic. But there are people out there who can drink a lot and aren’t full blown alcoholics. And there are people who don’t drink a lot – but drink emotionally that I would still consider an alcoholic. So it’s a bit deeper than that.
Yeah, the rumors are that she was an enabler and know the same sites are saying she was helping him to stay sober. He doesn’t look sober for quite some time. I still think that’s on him, tough.
Ben wasn’t sober when he was married to Jen ether.
Yeah, he doesn’t need anyone to “enable” him, he can enable himself alright.
Yeah, that didn’t make sense to me either as they were often seen with cocktails in hand. Maybe to her her definition of sobriety means moderation. Some people are able to learn to drink moderately, from what I have read, but it doesn’t seem that Ben is one of those people.
I think Lindsay wants people to feel bad for her, which no one does. She was dying to be with someone famous, Ben and Jon Hamm.
I thought so, too. I would bet that it wasn’t the drinking but that she found out about the side-piece(s).
That’s what I think, whatwhat. Honestly I think Lindsay looks the worst in this scenario. She was an enabler and cheater til he tired of her and cheated on her. Then, suddenly, she ‘broke it off w him because of drinking.’ Why wouldn’t the live-in girlfriend do the intervention??
Especially if what is said about the car is true: that Lindsay left it in some parking garage, keys in the ignition, possibly keyed it – that says, “found out about the side-piece(s)” to me as well.
Lindsay says she left because of Ben’s drinking. Almost the truth, as most of these PR statements are. I’ll add one word. She left because of Ben’s drinking BEHAVIOR. (Read side-pieces.)
Persistent, Shookus could’ve staged an intervention, but she can’t sign anything, she is not his wife or close relative, she can’t sign nothing medical or risky for his rehab. However they got together, it was on him that the relationship did not get more serious, she was doing all the traveling and sacrificing her job while he was practically at home near his ex-family. Then his legal wife can do anything for him as a mother could, and I think that Garner is his surrogate mother.
YEs, she was a cheater too, but his misery is on him this are grown people mistakes and many have had their dalliances forgiven by the public. He is a grown man who has made grave mistakes in his life, the gambling, the gambling cheating, the addictions. He has a LONG story of sabotaging himself, either in relationships and now using substances to cope with emotional turmoil.
He probably did not want to get serious with Shookus, not when he can be with young models, but it seems that he cannot do anything well when he is by himself, he goes on self destructing mode. I do think that Maybe Shookus was more beneficial to him than harmful. I think he usually picks women who are not bad for him, and age appropriate , but then he sabotages the relationship.
I think it’s possible that she didn’t realize what an issue alcohol was for him until they’d been together for a while. Perhaps she thought they were just having fun and going out, but eventually she saw that it was more than that and that it was a real problem. Like, once he was her responsibility, she figured it out.
Oh yeah I’ve had that very thing happen before. A guy I dated was praising me at first for not complaining about his drinking, his previous long term girlfriend hated alcohol and wouldn’t “let” him drink. I soon found out why. In the beginning it’s all fun drinking while you’re falling in love and going out showing off your new partner, it’s when things settle in over time and you realize that partner is still drinking just as much without you. The resentment slowly builds between you and they start to become angry drunks and feel like you won’t let them be themselves anymore, you become an annoying nag to them and they take it out on you. It’s a gd mess and horrible situation to be in, I promise. I feel for Jen and bet Ben hid his real problems for a long time.
Yeah, I have no doubt she got to hear all about what a stick in the mud Garner is, yadda yadda. I feel sorry for Shookus as well as Garner (and I’m sorry that happened to you too).
The whole thing just makes me sad for all involved, even Affleck who I have no meas for. It sounds like he has finally hit rock bottom and accepting that he needs help willingly rather than being forced into it as a PR strategy which I’ve always felt his previous attempt to ‘be healthy’ was, so hopefully this one will actually work.
Except yesterday story was Jen staged an intervention because his drinking was out of control. You can’t have it both was if Ben call her for help then their was no need for an intervention.
It seems like both are putting out PR stories. Ben is that he asking for help. Jen is that she staged an intervention.
“To his credit, Ben went to rehab willingly.” At one point I knew a lot of drug addicts and alcoholics. Not one of them went willingly. I probably met or knew over 250 of them combined in a 12 year period, and none of them ever went to rehab willingly. I was floored when I read that statement. Based on nothing more than the way Ben looks, I think Jennifer staged an intervention.
I was suspicious about a recent TMZ article insisting that Ben had made a decision to seek help days before Jen’s intervention. It seemed that point of the article was to minimize Jen’s involvement and make Ben look better. Typical TMZ who are probably being fed Ben’s PR. Ben was seeking soft kind of bs’y help like yoga and meditation when he needs hard core medical and psychological in patient treatment so I totally believe Jen intervened.
Lady D: I am inclined to agree. Once alcoholics and addicts reach a certain stage, they rarely (if ever) go willingly. And those that do after much pleading or intervention often bail on rehab within 24 hours.
@Lady D: You’re right – and don’t forget Jen had a bodyguard with her that she had to bring into the situation at one point. If Ben was as drunk as he appeared to be, chances are he turned mean and aggressive before he finally capitulated. That kind of heavy, continuous drinking really messes up your brain function and emotional reactions. You lash out rather than sit there and calmly think “Why yes, she’s right, I have a big problem that is controlling my life and ruining my chances of being an actively involved father. Maybe I should stop drinking.”
I don’t feel sorry for Lindsay.
I’m a little confused. If Ben knew he had a problem and really wanted help, why did Jen have to stage an intervention?
As for the is Jen a saint or codependent debate, I’m still convinced she wants him back and that they will end up back together and not divorcing it all.
Yeah that inconsistency stood out for me too. It certainly looks a bit better if the story is he reached out for help but, sadly, I’m not convinced. And the success rate for “go to rehab or else!” is…not great.
The great irony of addiction; he reached the very top of success in his chosen profession with box office hits and two Oscars, and has three healthy kids…and is utterly miserable and unhappy. What can you say?
Yeah, I thought that was an odd contradiction. I’m not sure why an intervention would be necessary if he asked her to help him. The story is unfolding quickly so I guess it’s inevitable that some details of the story might be sketchy/sloppily reported.
They keep in touch. He admits he’s drinking, spiraling, needs help, he’s out-of -control.
She shows up unannounced with rehab arrangements made, tells him the time is now, get in the car.
There are many forms of “intervention.”
Yes, and why did she need to call the bodyguard in yesterday? (As was reported.) Those two narratives seem to contradict each other. I don’t think he was that willing. If he was, he just would have gone himself.
I have known at least one person who agreed when sober-ish to go to rehab the next day and then when the time came they were wasted and not at all compliant. Obvs we don’t know what happened and it might just be inaccurate reporting, but both things could be true: he asked Jen for help on Weds and when she showed up on Thurs to get him he was drunk and confrontational so she called in the pros for a last- minute intervention.
Again, I am totally speculating, just to be clear.
Addiction is complicated. You can want help and say it a few times, but sometimes your hand has to be forced with an intervention.
My nephew told me for months he wanted to go to rehab. I worked at a rehab. I got everything set up for his to start the process. He didn’t move forward and disappeared off the radar. A year later, he reached out again saying he wanted to go to rehab. I did the same thing and this time he went.
We didn’t go the intervention route either time, but if there was an opportunity the first time, I think he would have gone initially.
sadly I think it’s not true that he reached out for help, that was his team who rushed to TMZ to put that out to sugarcoat it a little bit. She came to his home with a bible…a bible! She felt she needed some “convincing” apparently and brought the sober coach, a new one ( the woman with her in the car, she’s not a lawyer) She even came back with the bodyguard. All that smells to me like he was not cooperating. Also his behaviour in the back of the car while waiting for the burger, he was belligerent with Jen, he wanted the paps to take his photo so he rolled down the windows jelling to Jen “I don’t care”…I think he might have even gotten a little bit physically threatening to Garner need the assistance of her bodyguard. He was clearly not collaborating and that’s why I think this stint in rehab will fail as well. Also because of the choice of rehab: a Malibu luxury facility for celebrities is really not the right choice IMO.
Mannori, the last sentence in your comment is spot on. I saw a video produced by the rehab facility he is going to. It’s all about meditation and spiritual awakening and finding yourself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of that but Ben strikes me as the kind of addict that needs boot camp. Something like Betty Ford where they could care less about your celebrity status. Just my opinion, but I think he’s been coddled for far too long. I also believe that in the past he’s refused to go to the really tough rehab facilities, precisely because he wanted to be coddled. I sincerely hope that this one works because his kids just do not deserve this.
Yeah spa time is nice but if there isn’t serious medical and psychological treatment it’s a waste of time.
Here is the thing about the quality of the rehab center: BEN KNOWS THIS.
Ben KNOWS a decent proper real hand-to-god helpful rehab center would be somewhere far away with a hand-pumped toilet flush or something, but until he is actually ready to get sober, it really doesn’t matter where he spends that time.
An intervention….with a bodyguard. That doesn’t sound like a situation where he asked for her to come help him pack a bag lunch and give him a ride.
I feel like he probably didn’t “reach out” until the intervention happened. Like, maybe they’re spinning him saying “yeah, okay, can you please set it up for me?” into him asking her for help because it looks better for him.
Exactly.
Having been in Jennifer’s situation before I have nothing but respect and admiration for her. My ex’s girlfriends/wives would call me when his addiction got out of control, like Jennifer, it seemed that I was the only one who could handle him during those difficult times. Did I enjoy it? No! Was it emotionally draining? Hell, yes! But he was the father of my children and at one time I had a great deal of love for him, plus it’s really tough to watch someone you once cared for slowly kill themselves without wanting to do what you can to help. My ex did not survive his disease but I hope that Ben and many others that are battling this disease will.
This is all so heartbreaking. My brother admitted he was an alcoholic last fall and it is terrifying to know how little family members can do, Hearing the stories many of you are sharing here are so sobering, but there are little moments of hope. I’m sorry that your ex didn’t survive.
Suggest he go to AA meetings – it worked for me. xox
I’m not usually affected by celeb news but those pics of Ben stayed on my mind and made me truly sad yesterday. Alcoholism is a horrible beast. I feel so sad for his children, too. I hope he can truly truly recover. It can happen! There are four examples in my family of men who were extremely sick in their alcoholism, hit their breaking point, went to rehab, and stayed sober with the support they needed. Some have been sober for as long as I’ve been alive (I’m 35). It really can happen and I hope that this can be the beginning for Ben, I hope for his children really.
I believe she is doing that for her kids and because she knows there is a possibility that what happened with Ben’s father can happen with him. But I believe one day she will drawn a line and will give up. He has to want to help himself.
Yup, I’ve been there. At some point one parent has to draw the line and say enough is enough.
Alcoholism doesn’t discriminate whether you are rich or poor. I am not judging anyone involved and just reflecting that this family’s struggle is the struggle of many families, many friends, people….
Absolutely. And the spiral out of control is real and it’s very scary.
Gosh it’s saying something when Lindsay Shookus is the only one coming out of this with any self-respect (if it’s true she dumped him).
What do you mean? You don’t think Jennifer has self respect? He’s the father of her children and she’s trying to help them.
Lindsay? That is funny. She was his mistress for years and paraded around by Ben while he is still married. Where is the self-respect there?
Hope he gets well. His kids need him.
Do they? Seems like Jen has it covered.
They might want their father too
She seems to do the best she can, but yes, it would be good for the kids to have their dad.
I am surprised you said something nice about JG today. 🙂
Not usually a Jenn defender, but that picture tells a thousand words. Ben looks likes he’s on skid row he ready to dig through the garbage to find a sip of alcohol. Jenn got that here we go again stocism look
yeah those pics of him are pretty painful
None of us know what Jen saw in his home but just by the state of Ben in the video, one can only imagine how horrible it would be to see the father of your children in desperate need! Jen is not giving up for him to ” be the best father he can be.” She seems to be the only one that got through to him . Jen can go to sleep at night knowing that she did her best to helo him FOR THEIR CHILDREN….
She is GANGSTA. Props.
I know, Right?
Yep! Jen G is something else, my estimation of her is at an all time high.
I think it would be better for everyone, most of all Ben, if he stayed single until he gets it together. Relationships can just be another form of addiction.
Totally agree!
I think that when Ben has these hook-ups, it is a major sign that he is struggling & is out of control! And no one knows this better than Jennifer Garner!! Some say Jen was pissed because he was “hooking up with a Playboy model.” I dont think she was upset about that so much but upset because she knew he was spiraling out of control YET AGAIN & she wants him to be able to help her coparent…
I won’t say anything negative about a woman who wants to help her children’s father get well. She isn’t your typical Hollywood mama, all glam and ham, and she gets a lot of shit for it. Guessing she pushed out that third kid to give him a son. Hope he gets better and she gets a little break. She is definitely the strength of that relationship.
I totally respect Jennifer for being able to put aside their tough history and helping him out. No matter what happened between them, he’ll always be the father of her kids, and it’s important to help him get better so he’ll be around for them
Nothing but support for JG today. Whether she ends up spinning this or not she’s still the one Showing Up and Doing the Work.
But truly, is Ben — a successful actor with a multi-decade career and massive money and fame — so devoid of supportive friends and family that the only one he has to lean on, the only one he can count on to keep coming through for him, is the ex-ish wife he systematically torments? I mean, where the eff is his team?
It’s so sad. My heart hurts for her and this situation. I have been in a similar relationship before with an emotionally abusive guy and it’s hell. You love them and want them to get better but end up mothering them and losing yourself in the process. I think that even though she is probably done with him romantically, she still loves him very much. He knows she is the only person he can truly depend on. It’s awful anyway you cut it. Addiction does not descriminate. You can have everything and still feel a gaping hole that is unfillable. Sending love to JG and yeah Ben too.
One of the articles yesterday mentioned that he is surrounded by YES men – that Jen is the only one who calls him on stuff. Likely, his team is the same type as Depp, Pitt, and the other male Hollywood stars. They ride the money train to the bitter end.
I understand what Jen is doing and why and I have a ton of sympathy for her. But he must have family or friends who can rescue him from his childish behavior. Doesn’t he have anyone else?
Why do women have to keep taking care of grown men…..? Half the marriages I know are mother-child relationships (where the child is the husband and over 35).
I am confused. Did he ask her for help or did she come because she saw pictures of the whiskey delivery? In case of the latter: sie she waited a day or so anyway I would have preferred her to wait until it’s dark or come in a transporter or something or a limo with shaded windows. These pictures will destroy any reputation he has left and make her look like an altruist. Not saying she isn’t one, but these pictures could have been prevented. And the whole thing dealt with more discreetly.
I think someone must have called her on Wednesday. She was on a mini vacation in Orange County with her family. That was on Wednesday. The day before she was with her son in Lego Land.
In this situation, I would bring a bodyguard. Always. You will never know.
Yes, where are his “friends?” His own family. His brother. His father and mother. Why are others not touching him and always referring him to JG?
I think it shows that his own family can’t stand him. His behavior is pretty despicable and I think they have washed their hands of him.
Very sad he basically has no one. Addicts push people away.
That means they are weak. Just like Ben. It is unfair for JG to always pick up the pieces just because they have kids together. You could tell from the picture that she was so over him. I hope she also has some sort of support because right now it seems like she is his main caregiver. I know how that feels.
@Ana Jennifer has parents who have been married at least 50 years and two sisters, as well as aunts and uncles. As soon as there is a school break I hope she takes a nice long vacation in West Virginia.
Looking at his red and tear streaked face and the videos of him waving his arms around in the backseat screaming “I don’t care I don’t care “ I’d say this was an emergent situation. He could’ve threatened to hurt himself or down more booze to the point of passing out, given Jen’s history of hiding his bullshit I’d say she didn’t have to choice but to go in broad daylight. I really don’t think she did any of this on purpose or for her image.
I think her whole family was in town. Isnt that when she had her ceremony? I think she trying to live her life but at the same time Ben & his addictions are always on the back of her mind…
Affleck is SICK. Addiction is no joke, whether is it booze or drugs or even food.
Jennifer Garner loved him once and they have 3 young children together. The eldest is almost a teenager. I believe she’s doing this for him, but most especially their kids. They need their father in their lives, and he needs to be clean and sober in order to do so.
No snark from me today.
I remember seeing pictures of Ben and Lindsay in the beginning making liquor store runs and I knew this would end badly for them. It’s all fresh and fun at first and she probably felt he was the victim and so misunderstood by controlling ole Jen, and he’d be different with her because she’s so special, but that shit never happens.
That picture broke my heart. I saw my dad in picture and the tears just flowed.
I’m sorry you are in that pain, NicoleinSavannah. I’m sorry for everyone who has to live with the life altering grief and havoc the addicted create.
Thank you. I have managed to somehow create a meaningful relationship with me father. My brother has basically an adopted daughter who is 3 and NOW dad sees that I had no childhood. It hurts very much, but what are ya gonna do? My mother was a Jennifer Garner and I’ll be damned if people say bad things about helping family.
I saw my husband in that picture, before he got sober and stayed sober for 35 years.
So proud of you and him, Minx.
Glad for you, minx. I’m happy you got a successful result. So many end in tragedy.
Thank you! I should add that the 35 years is this year…it almost sounds like he fell of the wagon after 35 years. He’s still sober, so proud of him.
Here’s to another 35 years and more!Goog for both of you!
I remember when Jennifer had a decent guy–she dumped him in a hot minute for Ben. Is it a coincidence that the paps were in the drive thru at Jack in the box? Jennifer got her fix in her own way, as Ben gets his fix in his own way.
I think some people just want to trash Garner…the pap cars followed them from Affleck’s house to Jack in the box.
They were parked near Affleck’s house and taking pics as Garner came by.
How HARD is it to understand the pap/celeb world??????????????????????
Affleck was hooking up with a 22 year old playboy model, word got out and paps showed up near his house.
There is always paps/tourists etc at Ben’s house – it feels like he put an advertisement on the front page of the Los Angeles Times. And, this is/was not the first time an alcohol delivery has been made to this house in the past few months. This was caught because it was daylight and people are waiting for the 22yr old to come out.
It doesn’t necessarily need to be one thing or the other. She can be an opportunist who falls into the role of savior to give herself purpose and a concerned mother trying to do what’s best for her kids. To me, it always seemed like she loved him and thought that she could change his bad boy ways like the heroine in some silly romance novel. Women, especially religious ones, are often told our goodness and virtue can save men from themselves. It’s nonsense, but it’s very pervasive. Jen did everything right, and it wasn’t enough. It never is, and I have sympathy for her for that.
I never doubted that JG would do something like this for him, but–Jen is a pro. She isn’t thrilled he’s like this, hopes he won’t do this (especially during her big walk of fame week) but will absolutely play it the best she can for her. Otherwise they would have found more incognito way to get him to rehab.
Has anyone seen a picture of the bodyguard that allegedly Jen called?
Yes, there is a film on X17.
Thank you.
Great Job Jen, that’s how everyone should get these things done… despite all his faults, she still helps him…
I didn’t read all the comments, but why is the rear window open conveniently for paparazzi to film him? I saw the video of him drunkenly saying “I don’t care!” several times. It seemed odd that the window was down. Maybe it’s a simple as there was an odor that needed clearing, but…
According to the article, Ben opened it.
Thank you. I really thought it might be a smell. In my experience being around ppl detoxing from alcohol is not a fun smell, especially when you throw fast food on top.
Christine Boldt, (Ben’s mom/ Jen’s mother-in-law) knows all too well what Jen is & has gone through all too well!
I can’t imagine how grateful Christine is that Jen cares more about her children having a father than her feelings toward her son…
Imagine someone with this disease and no health insurance or money. That means no rehab. I feel bad for the family but he’s lucky he can get help over and over again. Not everyone has that privilege.
That’s what I was thinking too.
I always felt that Jen must have some incredible inner resources, because going through this over and over again is so emotionally and physically draining that it’s got to be so difficult for her. And she always seems like a pretty happy person, generally speaking. I know she’s primarily doing this for her children, but I really hope she’s taking care of herself. Addicts can just take such a toll on the people who care for them. I say this as the child of an alcoholic father. My mother was a wonderful human being who was so loving, never drank, never smoked, never did anything wrong. The fact that she passed away before he did (of cancer) sometimes still makes me so angry at the unfairness of it all. I’ve tried my best to make my peace with him, but those resentments will still resurface sometimes. And yes, his family does need to step in and help shoulder some of this. Just thinking about all the things Ben’s done to Jen over the years, the drinking, the cheating, his comments over the years that were so cold. He just wouldn’t be my problem anymore, I know I couldn’t do it.
I’m very sorry that anybody has to go through such a painful experience, especially in the public eye.
I feel bad for Ben, he has a genetic component inherited from his father, plus his own self destructive behavior, I hope he finds peace, sobriety and true happiness.
Garner is one of my favorite celebrities, yes, she plays the Hollywood game, but who doesn’t, if they want to survive in such a harsh business, especially for women.
She seems pretty down to earth, I think she grew up in a loving and very functional home and she is looking for the same thing for herself and her children and doesn’t make her a bad person.
I think she tried to help Ben and stood by him while he was doing the work, but I believe that only Ben can truly help Ben, Garner can support him, his family and friends can help also, but at the end of the way he is the only one that can change things for himself.
She fell in love with an addict , she is certainly not alone, happens to the best of us.
I wish all of them the best, I hope Jennifer takes care of herself.
Ben should take at least a year off and focus on himself first for at least 1/2 year and later re-build relationships he ruined with his addiction.
For goodness sake. She’s doing this because she feels she has to. She has three children with this man, who seems to be a malignant narcissist. She can’t risk a final custody decision about the kids spending unsupervised time with him if he’s not in a fit state to do so or to be a positive influence in their lives. She doesn’t need to be he damsel in distress or the one who can’t let go. She’s trying to help him as part of a broader picture, probably because it will make it easier to have her own life back. There’s nothing fun about being a babysitter to a grown ass man.
I feel bad for Ben, Jen, their kids and their families.
It’s a very difficult situation, anyway you look at it.
Garner seems like a decent person, trying to help someone she used to love, was married to and had three kids with, even though they are no longer together.
She is also smart, she is holding out on the divorce, because she is hoping that maybe Ben will smarten up, if he wants to be part of their children’s lives.
The only one that I don’t feel sorry for is Lindsay, she is not responsible for Ben’s behavior, but she is for her own and I didn’t like her drinking with Ben and the cheating she did with him.
It’s like handing a gun to somebody that is talking about hurting themselves.
He has a long reputation with drinking, gambling, partying and cheating way before he met Lindsay, she should have known much better before hooking up with a married man with 3 children and drinking with him after being in rehab twice.
Why is she responsible for his behaviour? He’s not a baby. He is a flipping adult and needs to start acting like one. His drinking or not drinking is on him, no one else.
It’s almost as if she has to be his mother. Is she the only person in his life that helps him? Where is his best bud Damon? Or his brother? I truly hope he gets the help he needs. I think Jen likes the savior role with the press, but I also think she doesn’t want the father of her children to die.
As so many have stated, these pictures are deeply disturbing. For those who have family members who are alcoholics they are all too real. End stage alcoholics are no longer the life of the party or just out getting drunk with friends after work. They look like Ben – home alone, drunk out of their minds, incoherent, unsanitary, belligerent, etc. When I looked at the pictures , I didn’t see a woman in love with a man, clinging to him, or even trying to get publicity. I saw a woman who was determined to get through an ordeal. She was focused and trying to be strong. Unfortunately, those pictures will be out there forever. If Ben is ever able to achieve sobriety, he will have to do some major relationship building with his family. I feel bad for everyone. I don’t think Lindsay truly knew how bad it could be, until they started to live together openly.
You have to give Ben some credit. Even on his worst day he was able to attract a 22 year old Playboy model. 99% of 46 year old men couldn’t do that even on their best day.
I wouldn’t want vultures to be sniffing around me while I was desperately ill, intoxicated and not in my right mind. in an attempt to get themselves ahead in Hollywood with my fame or money. There is nothing impressive to me AT ALL that a 22 year old vulture was “attracted” to him in his condition. Buzzards are attracted to a carcass, you don’t want to be the carcass.
Disagree. Almost any famous middle aged man (or woman) millionaire can attract a 22 year old hottie. Drunk, sober, or however.
They drank together. On camera.
Killjoy.
Sorry, I don’t follow!
I have dealt with both sides of alcohol abuse, unfortunately. I’ve been in Jennifer’s shoes and later also in Ben’s shoes. Both are hard af. I wish them all nothing but the best; no judgment. Addiction, at least for some and I know in my case, requires constant monitoring and relapses are not ‘game over.’ But it IS game ‘restart’ and it’s a rough road getting over the guilt of relapsing. The last time I relapsed, I attempted suicide because I couldn’t bear to admit it to anyone. Compassion.
Wow Shannon. Deep respect for you and your situation. It seems you have the right attitude towards your life now and you’ve been through your lowest low, so go fourth and prospure!
Thank you for sharing this. ❤️❤️❤️ To you
Also thank you for sharing this. I’ve been also in the shoes of both. My mother’s an alcoholic, and so am I. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that I’m not a messy or a violent boozehound, I just get proper hammered and fall asleep, or just maintain a buzz throughout the day.
At this point I’m just discouraged. Most find addiction to be a moral failure, and a choice. A matter of ‘willpower’, even though I’ve had successful long sober periods, and I can see that after about two or three weeks of being sober I turn into this antsy, utterly irate and confused wreck of a human that can’t even sleep at night because I suddenly have vivid nightmares. Substances change your chemistry.
I feel guilty whenever I relapse, but not too guilty. I mostly just feel hopeless, like there’s no way for me to feel normal without alcohol, and that I’ll always have to choose between being as cold and detached as stone, and being warm and enjoying life, but losing valuable time and productivity to alcohol. How the hell do you continue living like this? Especially when people just plain blame you for it, even though it was mother who kept buying you drinks when you was 16 (turning 27 in a few months!) so that she’d have someone to drink with.
Good luck to you, Shannon. I feel like I’ve some more road to walk before I get to the point where I want to not sober up but remain and function as a sober person. I hope my liver’s still mostly functional by the time I hit that point.
Shijel, thank you for sharing! Your words really touched my heart.
We’re on different journeys with different challenges – my alcoholic mom also started giving me alcohol in my teens, but my battle has been with depression/anxiety/suicidality. I have spent years of my life feeling deep shame about relapsing into a depressive episode; I honestly believed it was my job to heal myself and that being sick meant that I was failing and hurting my loved ones. I thought they’d be better off if I wasn’t around. Finally, I was involuntarily hospitalized and the magnitude of my illness was laid bare for everyone to witness. But that turned my life around – because I reached out for all the help and finally understood that it takes a literal village to manage my illness. I am the one who works hardest, but I have the professionals, husband, family, and friends.
The illness told me to do it myself. The illness told me not to burden anyone. The illness almost killed me. I sympathize with Jen’s trauma and frustration but I am grateful for Ben that he has her in his “village.” I hope he can ork through his own shame and move forward in his recovery. Sending love and encouragement to everyone out there who fights to be well. ❤
I sick of hearing about these two.
I’m so sad about this. For Jennifer, the children and for Ben. Get better Ben.
We as a society are to blame for making it legal to consume addictive substances and glamorise them. Why is cigarette smoking shamed but drinking alcohol glamourised? The best options for both are never to start..they are both harmful..
Hard to believe he has so little willpower and self-control. He’s a grown man. I’m hoping he doesn’t think he can drink when he feels like it. Alcoholics can’t drink at all.
Glad Jen is there to help him. Whatever he’s doing with other women, they have kids and are still a family. Divorce or not, they will always be linked by those kids. This is not the Kardashian trash family.
The way they have him in the back seat like a naughty 10 year old boy that they just had to pick up from the principal’s office. The way she is handing him the fast food bag to the backseat like he is her child. I cannot imagine she sees him the same way now.
Both of these media hounds need to move to different homes and then not call the paps to tell them where they live. I think they are both deeply pathetic people who feed off each other.
Buy a house under an LLC. Don’t use your kids for photo opp bait. Drink yourself to death or don’t IN PRIVATE. This is not our problem.
Or hell, go back in time and don’t freaking date each other. How did a man who canceled a J lo wedding look good to this woman? Oh yeah she’s a cheater and a social climber herself.
So sorry for those of you suffering I get it. I feel you and respect you commenters. But these actors are not you. You all are way, way tougher. Don’t let these selfish Hollywood weirdos make you relive your own bad times. Live in the now. Screw Ben and Jen and the machine man.
Also if I saw a man show up to his estranged wife’s house with a bodyguard to “escort” her anywhere I would have called the fecking police. That’s trash. This is all trash behavior.
Better news. This story about Scott Foley http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/tv/ct-ent-my-worst-moment-scott-foley-20171114-story.html
He’s doing great. Real person, down to earth, committed, safe, solid.
Choices. We all make them. Taking responsibility for them instead of scapegoating another is hard for some. I wish Ben and his kids the best.
He’s not just an ordinary drunk, he’s a drunk corporation that makes millions of dollars a year and has a bunch of work scheduled on IMDB. He has agents and managers and business partners (Hey Matt! Where you at?) and insurance policies and contracts. Any/all of the partners/agents could have had some henchmen come get him and take him to Betty Ford in panel truck and there would have been no Jack in the Box video that’s going to be on the internet forever. Jennifer was out today “running errands” with a big grin on her face right in front of the paparazzi. So, while I saw an incoherent drunk raving in the back of her Range Rover who clearly needed hospitalization, and I get that she might have no more f*cks to give, I wonder why she absolutely had to do it this way.
It was an emergency. Not everything they are doing is PR. Maybe she couldn’t let him die.
Matt was at Disneyland with his family spending the last days before school with his kids. My hair stylist was staying at the same hotel and saw him. He didn’t cut his vacation short to go rescue Ben. I don’t blame him though. These are grown men, business partners and friends, but adults with separate lives and responsibilities.
In my heart, I believe she did it for her kids. Maybe imperfectly in execution (who of us gets through their days perfectly, I surely don’t) but I do think it is from a place of human decency and parental protection.
My respect for Jennifer Garner just went through the roof.
This is not about whether she’s a saint or an image conscious celebrity. Jen is doing what’s best for all concerned. First and foremost, Jen has three young children with Ben. Regardless of how disgusted, sad or mad she is at him, I’m sure Jen wants Ben to get clean and sober for the sake of their kids. The rest of it is secondary.
Jen is wonderful for stepping up and supporting Ben. The rest is up to him.
As someone who grew up with an alcoholic and seeing my mother react to it, I know the SHAME Jen must be feeling. I am not a big fan of Ben, however those pictures of him completely wasted in the back seat brought back memories and I felt so awful for him that tears came to my eyes.
Matt Damon spends a lot of time in Byron Bay, Australia these days as he is very friendly with the Hemsworths. Both Matt and Chris’s wives speak Spanish plus they both have a gaggle of kids so it makes sense that they are so tight.
My gf lives in Byron and often sees him there and rumours are always swirling about that eventually the Damons will relocate to Byron.
All the commentators asking ‘Where’s Matt Damon?” probably havent realised yet that its been a long time since the Afflecks and the Damons were friendly. I don’t believe they Ben and Matt are on speaking terms anymore.
They’re set to do the McDonald’s heist movie together soon. If it were anyone else, I might agree, but these two became friends as teens. Those are usually the friendships that last forever, through the absolute worst of times. Do I think Damon is trying to distance himself from a PR standpoint because of Affleck’s problems – and their joint association with Harvey W., etc. – sure, but do I think they’re not on speaking terms? Nah. I think Matt is still close with both Matt and Casey. He’s just slinking around it publicly because of the bad PR.
I know how contemptible an addict can be, so I really feel for her. A close family member was an alcoholic, and the chemical dependency made him incredibly selfish, impulsive, dishonest and manipulative. I don’t particularly like Garner – her habit of calling the paps to snap “convenient” photos of her wholesomely taking the kids to church whenever she just so happens to be promoting something or needs good press is annoying enough, but then she has the gall to get up in front of the state legislature and complain about her kids’ lack of privacy … utterly hypocritical and gross – but I really believe she’s otherwise a good mother and is dealing with his nonsense because she loves her children. There’s no way she called photographers to his house to snap him in such a state, not to make herself look good at the expense of her children and their relationship with their father. The paps have been camping out in front of his house cataloging his latest meltdown. I think he’ll be horrified when he sees these photos in the future. I hope this is his rock bottom. I don’t sympathize with him often – not since he was my Hollywood crush back in 1998 – but I feel really sad for him. I doubt he is feeling much happiness lately. I think these photos show how little control he has over his life right now.
I would love to know what Ben was like when they first got together. Did he drink then? Why did she have 3 kids with him? He must have been good a lot of the time?
Based on gossip reports, I believe he may have had an affair with Blake Lively when they filmed The Town in 2009 and Jennifer Garner showed up on set with the daughters. She went on to get pregnant with their son in 2011/2012 so she probably at a minimum had their son Knowing Ben was at least cheating on her. I dont know how or why you could keep having kids with a man who cheats and lies to you like that. I think their marriage was pretty much over after their son was born because he began his affair with Shookus when the son would have been 1 or 2 years old.
Why would Jen bring a child into such a sham of a marriage like that? I think she was trying to keep him around.