Dane Cook, 46, treats his 20-year-old girlfriend ‘as though she’s his wife’

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Clearly this isn’t working out for us.

A post shared by Dane Cook (@danecook) on

Last year, we learned that Dane Cook had started dating a teenager. He tried to explain the backstory, claiming that they first met several years ago when she was a plus-one at a Game Night party at his house. I tried to do the math and it sounded like she was only 16 or 17 years old when they first met. Cook also claimed that they were “friends” first, and then they started dating when she was 18 or 19 (she’s 20 years old now). Dane Cook is currently 46 years old. It’s not great. In most of their photos, he looks like her creepy uncle. Well, guess what? Creepy Uncle Dane now thinks his 20-year-old girlfriend Kelsi is the one. Or something.

What age difference? Dane Cook is committed to his girlfriend, Kelsi Taylor, despite the fact that the comedian is 26 years older than her.

“Dane is so in love with Kelsi,” a source tells Us Weekly exclusively. “He treats her as though she’s his wife even though he’s said he’ll never get married.”

The insider notes that Cook, 46, approached this romance differently than his past love connections. “This is definitely the most serious relationship he’s had so far,” the source adds. “He doesn’t talk to any other women anymore and before her he used to have lots of one-night stands.”

[From Us Weekly]

This small article made me hork repeatedly. All of it so gross – a 46 year old man who swears he’ll never marry, how charming. A 46 year old man who only recently stopped having endless one night stands, give him a MEDAL! A 46 year old man who thinks the 20-year-old woman he groomed in her teenage years is worthy of commitment, let’s put a ring on it! Kelsi, blink twice if you want an escape route.

Photos courtesy of Instagram.

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78 Responses to “Dane Cook, 46, treats his 20-year-old girlfriend ‘as though she’s his wife’”

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  1. I'm With The Band says:

    Whoah, easy on the botox, Spock! His eyebrows are chasing his hairline 🙄

    • RBC says:

      You could hang a coat on those eyebrows

      • Still_Sarah says:

        I wondered what that was but I am not botox-savvy. Thanks for the info. It certainly looks like you are bang on.

    • smcollins says:

      Thank you! I couldn’t put my finger on what his creepy-ass eyebrows reminded me of and you nailed it. Ugh…he’s so gross.

    • ItsJustBlanche says:

      That’s the first thing I thought. He has the look of a man who is desperately trying to chase what little youth he has left. Plus, I don’t exactly know who he is.

    • Nichole says:

      Super fresh, I think. I get a bit between my brows (“anger lines”, and my brows arch like this for the week it takes to settle. I *hate* it, but they relax for the 4 months in between!

    • Steff says:

      He’s got a filter on that picture and it makes him look crazy and her 12 years old. 🤢🤮

    • I'm With The Band says:

      I want to comment on his Instagram post:. “I don’t always look at Instagram, but when I do, eyebrows”

  2. CooCooCatchoo says:

    What has he done to his face?!?
    And those Spock eyebrows…
    No to this ManBaby in midlife crisis mode. He is creepy.

  3. Nev says:

    Can’t.

  4. jessamine says:

    Normally not one to comment on Dane Cook because ewwwwwww, cooties, but WTF does “treats her as though she’s his wife” even mean?? Yack.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Seriously. If my still-20 year old started dating someone close to my age, I would be so worried about him being manipulative and controlling with her. He’s been a pretty shady dude all along.

      • jessamine says:

        Pretty much just a walking and, unfortunately, talking red flag.

      • BCity says:

        Riiiiiight?! One of my stepdaughters is around her age and the whole blended family would be squaring up.

      • PixiePaperdoll says:

        I’m 9 years older than my half-sister and when she started dating a guy my age when she was 25, I was NOT having it.

  5. Dana marie says:

    Creepy.

  6. KJ says:

    Has he also possibly gotten hairplugs?

  7. AnotherDirtyMartini says:

    He’s gross. And wtf with his brow lift gone wrong? Lol…ridiculous! Girl – GET OUT!

    • a reader says:

      It’s messed up botox in his forehead. If you botox all the way across your forehead your eyebrows end up looking like that. Most good botox docs won’t shoot the edges of your forehead specifically to avoid results like this.

  8. Redgrl says:

    He’s just nasty. And creepy bad face work.

  9. Biff says:

    Are we mad because Dane Cook is dating a 20 year old that he has ‘groomed’ since she was a teenager or are we mad because Dane Cook looks like he fell in a bag of botox and shame? Because if it’s the first one, there is enough of hollywood douches to be angry about (my favorite: Dicaprio and his latest model that he has known since she was 10). I have a lot of opinions on this, but I think I might be alone om a lot of them and I’m not sure if these Peter Pan figures are the hill I’m willing to die on.

    • MC2 says:

      Yea, we are angry about the entire lot of them. Not dying on a hill, but reading a quick article & commenting sometimes too. It’d be nice if society keeps shaming these guys so they don’t have sex with girls and, at least, we have seen some improvement from the 70s when these guys openly had young teens living with them. Progress :)

    • Rene Besette says:

      Well done, I love the snappy comment. It is hard to choose either way. but, yes the creepy old dude is not something to aspire to be is it?

  10. Adrien says:

    Stalker mode. I see Dane’s been commenting on every IG post she makes. Makes me cringe. I mean who does that? I follow a lot of celebs on IG including semi famous people and rarely do I see their SO leaving comments and if ever they do they’ll just leave an emoticon.

  11. PhillyGal says:

    What an ahole. And what does that even mean, that he’s treating her like his wife, (even though they will never marry)??? Does that mean she gets half his money if they break up?

  12. Lala11_7 says:

    THIS…is the most serious relationship he’s ever had?

    THAT…is pathetic…how emotionally stunted do you have to be? I look at her life with so much side-eye…she was REALLY YOUNG…hanging out with grown folks…which leads me to believe that this young woman…has been used as bait…since she was able to walk…so I’m looking at her parents…and I’m reminded that Hollywood…is pretty…disgusting…

  13. Idiotsgalore says:

    His face ….. why?

  14. Sayrah says:

    I thought men got “distinguished” with age. He looks awful like he hit the wall 20 years ago. One night stands recently? Puke

  15. S says:

    Nothing cooler than a middle aged man desperately clinging to his barely legal girlfriend like the succubus he is. Lucky her that he’s finally decided he’s ready to “settle down,” a.k.a. find someone to pin beneath his rapidly thickening frame. Hopefully she’ll be able to escape with most of his cash before he needs her to be his nurse.

    Is it possible to smell desperation through an Instagram pic? Because … yikes.

    • Meg says:

      ‘Is it possible to smell desperation through an Instagram pic? Because … yikes.’
      LOL

    • elle says:

      …”pin beneath his rapidly thickening frame”…

      This entire post is comedy gold.

    • Kitten says:

      LOL
      I think most women look at men like this in the way you described. It’s a sad, embarrassing cliché. The thing is, these men don’t care about our opinions–they only care about what other men think.

    • BasicBitch says:

      Groomed her and probably has made promises about giving her a career. He is disgusting, she needs a parent who cares.

  16. Tiffany says:

    I say this with true sincerity, where is this girls parents? Or friends?

    Anyone?

  17. KBeth says:

    He is creepy for a variety of reasons.
    *cringe*

  18. Hmmm says:

    The source made him seem even creepier. Same with that Kate beckinsale article LoL. Maybe him and Kate should get together

  19. Florida says:

    She’s an adult and presumably has agency to make decisions. Dane Cook is gross, but it’s her life and her choice and I don’t feel comfortable acting like she’s a poor innocent victim of this controlling old man. Because we honestly have no idea what goes on in their relationship.

    People have different likes and dislikes. When I was 20 the last thing I wanted was to date someone my own age. I found them annoying, gross, immature and living a lifestyle that wasn’t for me (partying, drinking, etc). I married a man 12 years older than I am and we’ve been happy for 10 years (so far). Maybe this girl likes older men? Maybe she’s only with him for his money and fame. Either way, she’s not a victim but a participant in her life. Regardless of how we feel about it, it’s her choice and it’s valid for her.

    Lol just because we can’t think of one redeeming quality Dane Cook has, doesn’t mean she can’t. Even if it’s his money. Although, how much money can he really have, now? Does he still have a career? Hmm.

    • arr says:

      He has known her for several years, since she was 16 or 17. The fact that a middle aged man was “friends” with a minor (i.e., gained a child’s trust) and suddenly started dating her when she came of age a year of two ago isn’t just a case of “maybe she likes older men”- it is grooming.

      • Florida says:

        Then that’s on her parents. Either way, she’s an adult now and I assume she wouldn’t be there if she didn’t want to be. Not denying that grooming went on, but I do wonder when adults are expected to be responsible and take agency over their own lives/choices? Not at all trying to blame the victim or anything, just honestly curious and really have no idea. Like for example. Say this girl figured out she was groomed by Dane, and left him. She got therapy and worked through it all, but realizes she does like older men. Is that legit, or is she always still making those choices based on being groomed as a teen? It’s very confusing and I hope I am asking/commenting in a respectful and non upsetting way. Apologies to anyone in advance if there’s any problems.

      • lucy2 says:

        This, arr.
        If he’d met her as a 20 year old, I’d still find it icky, but they are both adults. The fact that they were “friends” when she was 16/17 is really disturbing, and I’m highly suspicious they were more than friends before she turned 18.
        The whole thing is creepy.

      • Kitten says:

        @ Florida-I get what you’re saying and of course, there ARE women who genuinely like older men.

        But for me, it will always come back to the question of “WHY would a 46 yo man pursue a teenager?” I just can’t get away from that. If she met him when she was 23 I would still think that he’s gross but I would respect that this is a personal choice for her. But given that she was so young, my mind immediately goes to (fair or not) daddy issues for her and predatory patterns for him. Because the problem with grooming is that it often happens unbeknownst to the *groomee*.

        And FTR, I’m 40 and my BF is 32 so I’m usually fairly open-minded about age differences but the teenage thing is just…bad.

      • missskitttin says:

        Tyga….

    • BCity says:

      My husband is 15 years older than I am and I still think this is vile. Two fully formed adults is one thing, but this type of life experience differential, coupled with his general grossness is just a nope from me.

  20. CES says:

    So glad I read this before I ate anything. I think would have barfed it back up.

  21. Diana says:

    She looks like his daughter. So disturbing.

  22. elimaeby says:

    That brow lift. Yeesh…

  23. bobafelty says:

    OMG, his forehead!

  24. Trillion says:

    When I was 20, I had a friend my age who was dating a 25 year old and I thought THAT was weird.

  25. GreenQueen says:

    Just watched Mr. Brooks again last night on tv. LOVE that movie. Now I’m wondering if the reason I love that movie so much is because Kevin Costner humiliates, degrades, brutally murders and then frames Dane Cook.

    Wow, I must really hate Dane Cook. Highly recommend watching for anyone who loathes his smarmy face.

  26. BeanieBean says:

    Something about that last photo bugs me. He’s got her squished between the chair & himself.

  27. Jana says:

    My 49 year old ex husband has been dating a 20 year old. Our kids (the oldest of whom is only 3 years younger than she is!) are all grossed out and embarrassed. Men like this are just icky.

  28. Sam says:

    Is he filled with gel like a Stretch Armstrong? Spooky looking.

  29. Gayle Griffindor says:

    dem eyebrows, tho

  30. London Lozza says:

    What a winner. 46 year old man who “treats her as though she is his wife” and he doesn’t talk to other women anymore. What does that even mean?! He sounds like such a catch. Or not.

  31. Tallia says:

    I may have thrown up in my mouth a little bit.

  32. smee says:

    so he’ll split some assets in the event of a break-up?

  33. Anon33 says:

    Anyone who thinks that being in a relationship requires you to completely stop interacting with the gender that you’re attracted to outside of the relationship needs serious help. (Coughpencecough) That isn’t healthy or normal either, and the fact that he’s boasting about that is a HUGE red flag.

  34. Fluffy Princess says:

    Usually, if both parties are adults, I might be welllllll, not for me but whatevs.

    But this–UGH! He looks like a huge f’n perv. He IS that guy who would say in all seriousness, “Hey little girl want some candy?” As he leans out of his van door.

    He IS that old guy in a bar drinking and partying who thinks that he “fits in” and that no one really knows how old he is–he’s just hanging out with “friends.” NO CREEPER WE SEE YOU.

    He makes me want a hot shower with two rounds of exfoliation. Just NO.

  35. me says:

    She is a young looking 20 at that.

    Looking at her instagram, she is obviously trying to become a singer.

    It’s pretty obvious why these two are together. I doubt they will last.

  36. Mrs. Peel says:

    It’s like he’s the creepy dad cornering the hot babysitter. Gross.

  37. Justjj says:

    They seem to me a clear case of emotional abuse and he looks SO creepy. Wow.

  38. Dana marie says:

    When I was in college, a 34 year old TA grad student asked me out. I was 20. I gave him a chance and we went on a date. It felt gross. Nothing happened because I didn’t let it. It felt like he was so much older and that didn’t seem attractive to me at all. I just couldn’t go there.

    In this case, Perhaps the large age gap would make more sense if the couple was older like in their 30s 40s50s….with more life experience involved rather than a girl just barely out of her teenage years.

  39. Winnie Cooper's Mom says:

    The only thing more creepy/gross than this situation, is thinking about all the guys who follow him on Instagram and think “goals.” This is messed up and I hope the girlfriend is emotionally and mentally OK. I could see where is brand of “humor” could play out as misogynistic behind closed doors.

    And that’s got to be the worst case of Botox Brows I’ve ever seen.

  40. PhillyGal says:

    He looks like Mickey O’Rourke. (Not a good thing.)

  41. Paperclip468 says:

    Really bad brow job on Dane.

  42. jay says:

    Ladies…if he wants to “treat you like his wife” but “never get married” – RUN!

    • Snowflake says:

      Exactly! That’s code for doing cooking, cleaning, scheduling his dr appts. All the drudgy stuff of being married without any of the perks of dating (nights out, vacations, etc). I’ve lived w exes before without marriage but i wouldn’t do it for long now. Men are the ones that get the most perks out of marriage imo. I wouldn’t live w someone and treat em like I do my husband.

      • jay says:

        Exactly! It’s a total code for a boy looking for a mother figure and not a man looking for a wife. And it’s not just about marriage either; if he says he’s looking for a partner or the love of his life but doesn’t want monogamy or commitment – also RUN!

  43. Nikki says:

    ICK ICK ICK ICK. And I don’t like how he’s looming over her in these pics. Is he afraid to give her a little space?

  44. matahari33 says:

    How does anyone think this looks good? The chicken cutlet cheek thing. It’s baffling.

  45. Granger says:

    How do a 16-year-old and a 42-year-old become “friends”? What on earth would they have in common that would foster a friendship — i.e., a relationship where two people hang out regularly and talk politics or family and emotionally support one another? I honestly don’t get it. When I was 16, if my mom had found out I was going over to a single, 42-year-old man’s house to drink wine and talk “like friends,” she’d have marched over there and told him to get his greasy hands off of me.

  46. MC2 says:

    Maybe, but it’d be nice to know. He met her when she was about 16. Like Jerry Lee Lewis’ wife, I don’t think she knew what she wanted (hence, laws). The fact that she timed out & became legal along the way, so we should just shrug, is weird.