Sonni Pacheco accused Jeremy Renner of biting their daughter in anger

Jeremy Renner at the World premiere of 'Avengers: Endgame' held at the LA Convention Center in Los Angeles, USA on April 22, 2019.

In September, Sonni Pacheco filed for sole custody of Ava Berlin, the daughter she shares with Jeremy Renner. The filing came after a relatively quiet period in their multi-year divorce and custody battle. Their divorce and custody battle was particularly nasty, even by messy Hollywood standards, with Renner hiding Sonni’s passport, Renner’s ownership of multiple guns, and accusations of physical and emotional abuse. Sonni’s filings were revealed this month, and she says everything has just gotten worse, that Renner has talked to friends about having her killed, and that he’s used a gun to threaten her and possibly himself. Renner claims that Sonni is obsessed with him and jealous of all the ladies he’s banging, and that Sonni sent nude photos of him to their custody helper person. I don’t know. It’s all a gigantic mess and I’m Team Sonni. Now there’s a new accusation: Sonni says that Jeremy Renner bit their daughter:

Jeremy Renner’s ex-wife claims the actor bit their 4-year-old daughter, leaving a bruise on her shoulder, according to court documents obtained by The Post on Tuesday. “The Avengers” star’s ex-spouse, Sonni Pacheco, 28, say she spotted the mark on their now-6-year-old, Ava, in April 2017 and that the girl told her, “Daddy bit me,” according to the papers, which were filed publicly in the Superior Court of California in Los Angeles last week.

“It’s OK Mommy, it was an accident. I told him to never do it again,” Ava said, according to the docs. “Later, [Ava] explained that the bite happened when [Renner] was being mean and yelling,” the filing alleged.

In e-mails included in the filing, Renner, 48, denied the bruise came from him, saying Ava’s seat belt “pinched” her, the documents say. Pacheco then challenged him, writing, “When … putting some ointment on her owie, Ava told me you bit her there,” the papers say.

Renner allegedly replied, “Ha. No. We do a nibble game called Ava burrito. Haha. But not a bite. Tell her she’s spicy. And the game ensues. Haha. Nibble game are fake nibbles.” Renner’s rep Tuesday called Pacheco’s claims “categorically not true and another straight-out character assassination made by Ms. Pacheco and her attorney.”

The rep added in an e-mailed statement to The Post that after Pacheco claims the incident took place, she still “never sought a restraining order or never withheld Mr. Renner’s 50% custody time.”

The ex-wife’s filing appears to be in response to documents filed by Renner in which he claimed Pacheco is unstable and has been trying to smear him with lies, including by pretending to be worried that Renner had possibly assaulted their daughter.

[From Page Six]

I mean… I think it’s possible that a parent could easily leave a bruise on their child as they’re playing some silly game like that. But I also think that Ava saying that Jeremy bit her while he was angry… well, people should listen to that too. I agree that this is not the kind of smoking gun in a custody case, and I appreciate that Sonni is pointing out that it was just an incident that made her uncomfortable and wary, but she didn’t immediately file for sole custody after it. Again, Team Sonni.

Also: there’s a rumor going around that Marvel/Disney is trying to replace Renner as Hawkeye because of all of this custodial drama and abuse accusations. The thing is that Renner’s contract is almost up anyway, so they’re probably just going to make him do some Apple+ thing and then they’ll be done with him.

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Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Getty and Avalon Red.

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78 Responses to “Sonni Pacheco accused Jeremy Renner of biting their daughter in anger”

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  1. DaisySharp says:

    Marvel fangirl here. Sliding out slowly by having him film the Disney+ series and handing off to Kate Bishop is no longer enough. They need to fire and replace him now.

  2. hnmmom says:

    Even before all this drama, I got a very bad vibe from this guy. He strikes me as someone seething with rage inside. Most of all, I feel very sorry for Ava. This is a terrible way to grow up. I hope in spite of all this messiness her daily life is stable and calm.

    • Raina says:

      I think he did it out of anger haha. Coke makes people angry haha.

      • Meadow says:

        What’s so funny about that….?

      • MB says:

        Meadow, I think the “haha”s are a reference to Renners email response quoted in the article. He put a lot of “haha”s in to kind of add credence to the whole “it was just a fun game” story.

  3. girl_ninja says:

    I’m Team Ava. Keep that baby safe at any cost. Renner is scary and unpredictable.

    • Agirlandherdog says:

      Same. I think this entire situation is a whole lot of crazy, and she’s stuck in the middle. No matter what a court decides, I don’t think there’s a great outcome for her with either parent.

  4. Team Ava and team sealing all of these filings while her parents sling shit at each other to see what sticks.
    I hope CPS is actively involved in both of these households keeping this child safe.

    • DaisySharp says:

      Both-siding this doesn’t help. It’s a sneaky way of supporting the abuser, in fact.

    • Christina says:

      Allkindsofsugar, I beg to differ.

      If stories like these aren’t aired, abusers win. People do not understand what men they know are capable of.

      People who read this blog must think that I write the same stuff, over and over. I do it because of posts like yours.

      No one believed me when I told them that my ex was dangerous years ago. People didn’t understand why I couldn’t deal with him. Everyone thought that he was a great father if not the best to me, but he was gaslighting and emotionally abusing me. No one believed me. The police didn’t when she was young. My friends and family kept asking if I was sure. One friend told me that I should call police. I eventually had to. He kept me in court to financially drain me (told me in writing before he did it), took her away from me for two years, and he eventually knocked her out cold. I was in court for 11 years. I now have an 80-year domestic violence restraining order.

      The allegations Pacheco is making ring true to me. I remember my ex wrestling with my 4 year old, and how he’d insist that it was all fun and games, and it would be until she’d start to cry. I would tell him to stop, that he was setting her up to be raped later. Reading what Sonni Pacheco reported Ava telling her sent shivers down my spine and has activated my fight or flight response. My daughter and I have both received extensive treatment for PTSD. We live with it every day. She is now in college.

      While we never lived together, I saw my ex regularly when she was small because I had to protect her and no one believed me. They didn’t believe me because he smeared me, and he came from a well known “good” family. I’m not from the town we live in, so I didn’t know. When he smeared us with neighbors and online, people didn’t know what to think. They know now.

      I’ve sat in support groups with other battered women. He never hit me, but he knew I loved my child, so that’s what he went after. He just sent me a letter that I reported as a violation of the restraining order. He will either keep contacting me or he will eventually kill me. My kid wants nothing to do with him. I’ve been married to another man for almost 10 years. None of the women in my support group were believed: we all had to seek out professionals, and we all had to push rocks uphill to get help. When we are in crisis, like Sonni is now trying to protect Ava, so many people don’t hear what rings true, and they want to make sure that everything is “fair” while not really understanding exactly how bad it is for this child, and has been for a long time, because of her father‘s actions.

      • DaisySharp says:

        I’m sorry. And I’m sorry women still aren’t believed.

      • Sophia’sSideEye says:

        Christina, thank you for telling your story. I’m so glad you got out and were able to save your daughter. You are strong and brave.

      • Christina says:

        Daisysharpe and Sofiassideeye, hugs. Keep pushing back at people who don’t believe. There are female narcissistic sociopaths, too, but many, many more are men.

        That’s Renner’s problem: antisocial personality disorder. If you look it up at the Mayo Clinic, it makes it clearer. So does the book Why Does He do That? By Lundy Bancroft.

        Everything sounds he-said/she-said until you work with a bunch of pros who see it all day long. My case, because of the ex’s law enforcement connections, and his dad being a judge in family court in the same town and county, revealed all of the flaws in the system. All we have are blogs and court appointed attorneys to fight men like this, and it’s expensive to fight a man like this. I’m lucky I have a good job and that my poor husband loved me enough to marry me anyway and help save my child’s life. He’s a saint:

      • Lindy says:

        My heart goes out to you, Christina. We commented to each other a couple of weeks ago, and I’m just chiming in again to say that I understand how that feels (you start to believe the gaslighting after awhile, plus there’s so much shame that it’s hard to even say anything to anyone else).

        I hope that you continue to stay safe. I’m exploring joining a group for women who have survived this; my therapist is amazing (and my son’s is, too–even that was a fight because my ex tried to block him from getting therapy). But I’ve never really met or spoken to other women who went through what I did and part of me thinks it would be helpful.

        My ex did eventually graduate to hitting me. I was unable to get the court to extend the restraining order after a year because he hadn’t been violent to me in the interim. I also told police he had a gun but they couldn’t find it when they did a quick search (he had hidden it pretty well). He still has the gun and to this day I still worry from time to time, though I do think it’s gotten better.

        Anyhow, I’m glad you’re safe now and the work you put into protecting your daughter was difficult and important. Sending you good thoughts.

      • olala says:

        Christina my heart goes out to you. I went through same and NO ONE believed! I had. to cut ties with my own family for a while. I just recently divorced abd honestly instead of surviving i am thriving. I found great support in group of narcisssistic abuse recovery. Please check NARP. I completely recovered from severe PTSD.
        It really upsetsk me how little information is out there regarding emotional and phsychological abuse. And how people do not want to know/hear about it

      • Christina says:

        Lindy and Olala, thank you for commenting. Lindy, keep calling the police. Every. Single. time. Make it crystal clear that you are afraid. Sadly, if you act afraid, and cry and are scared, they think we are lying. If you are composed like Christine Blasey Ford, they STILL think we are lying. However you are feeling, always, always, always report when he keeps your son too long, or your son tells you he feels unsafe, or if he breaks into your place, or calls your job, and all of the crazy crap they do.

        You aren’t alone. The system is set up to make us all feel like we are the only ones, and everyone is innocent until proven guilty. You know that you are right. Don’t lose faith.

        Olala, you give me hope that I will stop thinking about this one day. Now my rage is at the patriarchal society that enables this.

      • Lulu says:

        Hugs and love to you and thank you for sharing.

      • Nothing about my post expressed disbelief and I further clarified to the initial post after it was Implied I was “both sides” on the issue…within minutes of that post I made it crystal clear that was never my intention.

        Clearly that post was not deemed acceptable and was removed, to what end I couldn’t tell you, but it’s omission led to further discussion and clicks.

      • MAK says:

        Oh God!! I am so sorry for your experience.. Prayers with you and your daughter…

  5. Maplesbass says:

    Disney continued to support Depp so it wouldn’t surprise me if nothing happens to Renner

  6. ChillyWilly says:

    Whoa…this is so disturbing. He bit her?? This man is a psychopath and should never be allowed near this poor child again. Poor Ava.

  7. TheOriginalMia says:

    Marvel isn’t going to replace Renner. As you said his contract is almost up. Most suspect the Disney + show is the handoff to Kate Bishop.

    As for Ava, I’m uncomfortable with all these adults making accusations against Jeremy, some really shocking and serious, and nothing being done. No one goes to the police. No one goes to the court. Everyone waits and waits. How many children are killed and this shit comes out after the fact? I’m Team Ava.

    • DaisySharp says:

      I insist they DO replace him. Sitting around saying they’re not going to is giving them what they want; acceptance. Resignation.

      No. Not good enough. You know, consumers have the power here. What if we used it?

      • Algernon says:

        The problem is, Renner isn’t slated to appear in anything Disney until the Hawkeye show. Skip that show and send a message you don’t want to watch him, but it’s still too late, he got paid already and finished out his contract anyway.

      • xi tang says:

        I assume disney would want to see how this will go in court. which I reluctantly support. As of now it is just allegations.
        For the record I believe sonny. I know people who know Renner and the guy is a sleazebag. Never heard of him being violent but it’s not a stretch with all the drugs and booze he does.

    • Christina says:

      The Original Mia, my daughter went to her school to report that her father had knocked her out cold the day before. I found out later that the school reported it to authorities as mandated reporters. People knew my ex’s family in law enforcement circles. I believe that has to be the reason that DCS didn’t pull her out. I was eventually able to get her out of his hands, and she is now safe and never has to see him again, but it took YEARS, even after involving law enforcement.

      Abused women tire of going to police because it’s traumatic and they treat you like you are trying to smear your ex instead of report abuse. I had to report my ex for abusing my daughter when I found out that he’d assaulted her. My lawyer told me to do it, even though she was now safe with me, because we were in court. The officer called the hard copy of my restraining order “janky”, and he spoke to me like I was trying to get evidence to ruin a man’s life until he was able to verify that my restraining order was legit. He apologized.

      There were many times that I went to authorities because my attorneys forced me to. When Ava had evidence of abuse on her body, Sonni finally had something that would penetrate the mysogyny, that people, men AND WOMEN, would willingly process about how dangerous this situation really is.

  8. Noodle says:

    If you look at the picture of the wound, it’s red and gnarly. It’s not a simple bruise and not a “nibble” wound (unless they are using a photo from a different injury and not this one). Kids get weird injuries and marks all the time, but this is not an “Oopsie” mark.

    • Chaine says:

      Exactly, the picture was alarming. This is not a play nibble, this is a person who purposefully and cruelly sunk his teeth in his child’s skin and gnashed them. Unless the picture is fake, he is a very disturbed person that should not be alone with the child.

  9. Rapunzel says:

    Smarter decision would have been to kill off Hawkeye instead of Black Widow in Endgame. Black Widow either dies in the all women fight scene protecting Cap Marvel, or lives and goes on to pass her mantle in the solo film (which is so dumb now that she’s dead). And instead of Kate Bishop, make the new Hawkeye his daughter from the start of that film. He was literally already training her.

    But the MCU is run by brotastic bros who had to use a female character’s death to inspire men, so they keep their buddy employed, cause nobody wants him for anything else.

  10. Nicegirl says:

    How scary for Ava

    • Noodle says:

      So scary. And now she has to explain to others how Daddy bit her and she told him not to do it again, as if it’s just something that “happens”. You wonder how this crazy, abusive dynamic will impact her later on.

  11. TheOriginalMia says:

    @DaisySharp – People aren’t going to avoid Disney + because of Renner & the Hawkeye show. Disney isn’t going to replace him based on allegations in a custody case without clear proof he did something to Ava. Disney knew Johnny Depp beat up Amber repeatedly. Had photographic and audio evidence of his violence and still made another Pirates movie with him and put him in a new franchise. You can be outraged, but Disney isn’t going to do a thing when firing Renner could lead to a wrongful termination suit if the allegations are proven false.

    • Emilia says:

      Not to be argumentative but wasn’t that Pirates movie already done filming or at least close to done when the allegations came out? And what new franchise? If you’re referring to Fantastic Beasts that’s WB, not Disney.

  12. A says:

    Ava needs to be far away from Jeremy. I hope CPS is paying attention to this case.

  13. Lena says:

    I’ve seen many split couples hurl all kinds of horrible accusations at each other once they’ve split especially concerning the kids. Sometimes it’s true but many times it’s not. Just rage and trying anything to get sole custody But that’s just my experience.

    • Dani says:

      Been there with my brother in law, and you’re right. Unfortunately a lot of the times parents make insane and disgusting accusations against one another to get the kids away from said party. In the grand scheme of things, the only ones who truly suffer are these poor kids.

    • Christina says:

      I agree that people do work to destroy each other in court. Some of us are dragged there against our wills to protect our children from sociopaths. Sociopaths mimic the behavior of healthy people to control people. There are way more of them out there than I thought. Sitting in court has shown me that.

      My ex kept dragging me to court. He was finally declared a vexatious litigant, so, no, some of us aren’t there to destroy our ex’s. Some of our children, and us, are in actual, for real danger, and I think that stories ring true while others don’t based on my experience.

      • jjva says:

        @ Christina:
        “Sociopaths mimic the behavior of healthy people to control people.”

        This is one of the best and most succinct descriptions I have ever read. I’m sorry for what you and your daughter went through.

      • Christina says:

        Thanks, Jjva. It took a long time for me to really understand what I was dealing with. Not because I’m dumb. I don’t come from people who did that. My family has flaws, but my aunts and uncles weren’t willing to do “whatever it takes” to destroy people. Then I met my ex. He was charming, handsome, sweet. Now I know that wasn’t him. He was wearing a mask.

    • Courtney says:

      You should look at stats about this. Making accusations hurts women, not helps.

  14. trout predator says:

    OK I rarely speculate like this but here’s my take.

    1. The naked photos being held by the nanny = he gave them to the nanny, and he’s trying to blame Sonni for that.
    2. He definitely bit that kid, but I bet he’s the type of dick who thinks that’s cute/funny/endearing “rawr! love bites” type shit
    3. Sonni’s pretty compelling, nothing she is saying is making me go “What? No way!” I can believe all this crap especially after his ego-stroking Jeep ads, I bet that dude is a narcissist that’s a huge ass to be around

    I know folks insist he’s gay, but? I really think he’s just the type who’ll fuck anyone that strokes his ego, and as soon as she stopped being that and started being his wife (ie equal) he started being a big adult baby man and this whole thing kicked off. That’s my 2 cents, anyways. The nanny photos thing seems like super pro-active “when this comes out I’ll have already said it was her” stuff.

  15. Rapunzel says:

    Btw, I am from Renner’s hometown area in CA (Modesto area), and know peeps that went to school with him. They are not surprised by any of this. At all.

    • Christina says:

      Amen, Rapunzel. My crazy ex had a rep, too, I discovered later.

      People disparage gossip and hearsay. Perhaps hearsay isn’t legally admissible, but I firmly believe that gossip saves women’s lives. It’s all women had to protect them from Harvey Weinstein, and awful bosses at all sorts of jobs all over the place. It’s all any of us have unless things change. The problem is that manipulative people can use it to destroy good people, too.

      • The Other Katherine says:

        YES. There’s a societal stigma attached to gossip as being something shady that women do behind people’s backs, but many times IT IS A SAFETY ISSUE. When it comes to abusers, women need to have each others’ backs, because lord knows the criminal “justice” system does not.

  16. Karen says:

    Renner claims his ex is jealous of all the ladies he’s banging? Haha yeah right! I thought he’s more interested in batting for the other team.

  17. Esme says:

    I believe her. And children should be believed when they speak up. That a child has already been taught to justify their abuser is terrifying: it shows the abuse is repeated and done with twisted, escalating purpose. The child should be removed from their abuser before even worse things happens.
    And Marvel should fire him… But they won’t, as their fandom doesn’t care. It’s disgusting.

  18. Lightpurple says:

    While I suspect the court has appointed a guardian ad litem for Ava, I wish that, for Ava’s sake, the court would also grant temporary custody to a neutral relative while this is sorted out. If these things happened to Ava, it is horrible and he should never be with her without supervision. However, Sonni’s actions concern me too. Why does she wait years to raise an issue? This isn’t about how she’s deciding to address her own situation, it’s how she’s addressing the child’s situation but there are no police reports, no restraining orders, her allegations are never recent. Neither parent seems to be acting in the best interest of this poor girl.

    • Christina says:

      Lightpurple, I don’t see that in Sonni’s case. I think that she is reacting to Renner’s instability/stuff, and being reactionary looks bad from the outside. I think that she is stacking up evidence. I think that she has spoken to authorities, like I did, but that she was discouraged from reporting because she couldn’t “prove” anything until now, like I was told.

      I think that women are encouraged by men in authority to not report. I think that Police officers and court people see themselves in the people they deal with, and they assume that you are their ex girlfriend instead of a person with a real problem. Years of dealing with authorities about domestic violence and my kid have left me with the impression that most men think like the Senate did when Kavanaugh was confirmed.

      • tcbc says:

        And the families of police officers experience a much higher rate of domestic violence than the general public. So it’s not unlikely that the person we are all told to turn to for help in these situations is themselves an abuser!

      • Christina says:

        TCBC, you hit he nail on its head. One police officer who came to my house to take a report told me, “this sounds like an argument. You know how me…” and then them he stopped himself. He was normalizing my crazy ex’s behavior. He saw me as overreacting, so I was supposed to accept “how men are”, and that my ex’s anger and cruelty were acceptable and not dangerous. That cop saw his “irrational” girlfriend, not a victim of domestic violence and terror.

        The crazy ex is in federal prisons now, he is a vexatious litigant who can’t sue ANYBODY in CA, and he will NEVER see our daughter again because she is terrified of him. That cop was wrong, but why would he care?

  19. stormsmama says:

    the text exchange bt them is awful
    how sad

    my husband and his ex had a terrible divorce: she cheated on him and gas lit him; they had 50/50 custody but she chipped away at it and alienated the girls from him. I never would’ve believed a mother could be so selfish if I hadn’t seen it myself. She is a narcissist and she wanted my husband out of the picture and at all costs.

    Anyway I bring all this up to say i know to is possible for the mom to be an awful narcissist who only has her own agenda.
    i don’t get a good vibe from either of them in this text exchange.

    but maybe he is the abuser and she’s just an woman who chose the wrong guy.

    either way, they have a daughter and they both need to accept that they both love her and need to work only for what is in her best interest.

    I hope for Avas sake they get their act together; that daddy is not abusive a d that mommy is not a narcissist.

    • Christina says:

      Stormsmama, there are plenty of women who are narcissistic and destroy lives around them. I’m sorry that happened to your husband and to you. Mostly men do this, but women do, too.

      The only way to make it end of for the kid to have court appointed counsel. In my CA, we had to make it seem like it was in my ex’s best interests before he’d agree to let her have her own council. That changed everything because her attorney knew instantly, in their first conversation, that she was being abused. But we both, as her parents, had to agree. Since he hadn’t been convicted of anything illegal concerning our case, he had a right to agree or disagree with her having court appointed council even though there was an active DVRO.

      Anyone going through this needs to IMMEDIATELY ask the court for the child to get a court appointed attorney that sides for the child, not the adults. I hear that there are bad ones, but the one my kid got put her first, and that’s all that I wanted. I threw myself on the mercy of the court and told them that If happily go to jail to set her free. He accused me of being a drug addict and someone who was crazy, so I volunteered to comply with whatever the judge wanted. I would have done anything to keep her safe, and if he comes near us, I will kill him with whatever is nearby. Wish me luck, cause somebody ending up dead is a real possibility at this point. He gets out of prison next year for another crime unrelated to us.

      She is free, brilliant, and having the time of her life in Europe now for her first year of college. I credit my child’s court appointed attorney who started working for my kid when she was only 12 years old.

      Ava needs a court appointed and paid attorney. If Sonni is the issue, the court appointed attorney will know.

      • Seraphina B says:

        I am so sorry you have had to live through this nightmare. Your daughter is very lucky to have such a brave and strong mama fighting for her .
        Please stay safe, I am terrified for you when your husband gets out of jail.
        Sending you hugs

  20. JanetFerber says:

    Christina, that sounds very sensible.

    • Christina says:

      Thanks, Janet. I just want as many people who are in the middle of this to understand that the cards ARE stacked against you.

      Your kids will win in life if you throw yourself on the court’s mercy and defer to the judge and ask for an attorney for your child. If the abuse has an knowledgeable attorney, the other side won’t agree, but you need to try.

      Kids don’t ask to be born: if they are in danger, we have to put them first in these awful court battles. We have to cooperate with judges, but you need to know what to ask for. If you can’t afford an attorney, you can still ask a judge to give your child one.

  21. JM says:

    Terrible all around.

  22. Goinganon says:

    If you’ve never had your spouse and father/mother of your child repeatedly lie about you and to you, you cannot understand how helpless it makes you feel. It’s like screaming into the wind.

    I’m sitting here sobbing because I know what I have to do to protect my kids and what I’m up against and how many ways it can go wrong.

    No one wants to take sides either. Even my well meaning family takes steps back when I get too upset about things. Oh, it can’t be that bad. It freaking is that bad.

    “You’ll get the kids over my dead body” “Fight me you’ll lose” “I’ll spend every penny before you see one” “you’re crazy, no one will believe you” says the most charming, successful, friendly guy you’ll ever meet.

    • olala says:

      Goinggannon the best advice that i can give you is DETACH. Do not get involved in any discussions with him, your family and anyome else except professionals. It is like tug if war. and from outside it is messy to understand who is right and who is wrong. The moment you detach and go inwards to concentrate on yourself and healing you letting the rope go and straight away it is much much clear picture for everyone else. Please do not waste energy on anything else except to build yr own strength and to be able calmly present the facts anf speak your thruth and you will be amazed how quickly everything turns around and masks starting to fall. As long as you involved in the mess and trying to tell anyone what is going on you unconciously taking part in that toxic dynamic of pulling back and forth

    • Christina says:

      Goinganon, listen to Olala. You can do it, mija.

      Get therapy if you can afford it. If you can’t, find a domestic violence group. Only discuss this with professionals.

      Ask the judge to appoint minor’s council for your kids so that they have their own lawyer. Then ALWAYS put your kids first, especially in court. The truth will come out.

      I used to it in court and it felt like it would never end. He needed for me to look like I was crazy. I couldn’t hold the job I have if I were unstable, but that was how I was discussed, and I couldn’t do anything. My kid is alive. She has a brain injury, but she is alive, and I am happily married to someone wonderful.

      Babygirl, you can do it. Olala and I and Lindy did it. You live your babies, and you will, too.

      Read Why Does He do That. Prepare yourself. Love yourself. If you can afford it, get an attorney so that he can no longer talk to you. When you only see your abuser in court, you have a break to heal between court appearances. He doesn’t have the right to talk to you anywhere or anyway he wants to. Your kids will see what he is eventually, too.

      Families mean well, but people don’t expect to encounter or having to fight people like him.

      • olala says:

        will second that 100%.
        Also NC (No Contact) is crucial. And focus on yourself. Heal old wounds. your see with barcissists it is all on emotional/vibrational level. nothing else. Its like a shark sensing the blood. If you’re not bleeding and not giving anything out there they have nothing to hold on and losing their interest.
        The moment the smear campaign starts DO NOT REACT. do not explain or try to disprove. You will be amazed of how quickly it will stop.
        Also try to seek professional help. Please check NARP it saved my life.
        I would also warn against “whinging” forums were it’s all about “oh he did this and that” and victimization full on. It is like re living the awful expierience. Seek proper help which will arm you with actual help.

      • Goinganon says:

        Thank you to you much.

    • Lindy says:

      Record everything. Get a voice activated device that you can hide. My mistake was never being able to get him on tape saying those things. He threatened to take our son and pull a murder-suicide, he threatened to kill me or to beat me until I had brain damage so I couldn’t care for our son… He got drunk and went somewhere and texted me all night about how he planned to hang himself. So many things but in court it was impossible to prove. He denied all of it and tried to smear me, and I had no way to prove that he made the threats. Find a way to record it all. Screenshot anything he posts on social media. Record every text message, every email.

      • olala says:

        yes! record everything in journal with exact date and time. Also do not respond to any if threats/emails/texts. Inform that the only contact will be maintained regarding such and such and stick to it.

    • olala says:

      Goingganon sending you lots of hugs and positivity. it all will be good, even better than ever. Just focus on yourself, heal and love yourself. x

    • Christina says:

      On court days, if you can, take the whole day off. Court was always emotional. The in-your-face gaslighting can be tough. If work doesn’t feel like a pleasant escape, stay home and decompress from the gaslighting. You are worth the time.

      Lindy is spot on about keeping every email, text, posts about the case. My ex commented on my job on Yelp about me. A coworkers who monitored news about our firm pulled my coat about that. And PLEASE don’t be afraid to take out your phone and start recording. My ex once stalked me at an event at school when she our daughter was in 5th grade. He drove a really big SUV. He saw my then fiancé and I in my small SUV and he made an illegal u-turn in traffic to trap us so that he could scream at us. As I started recording, my poor husband told me not to, but he wasn’t used to living with crazy nor did he understand how bad it could be. Ex cursed me out. I was in tears since my 11 year-old was in his car. That video got my DVRO reinstated. Before that, I’d never been able to prove exactly how irrational he could be. I had emails, but I could never prove the sinister, evil, dangerous part of what was happening. After that video, he started to stalk the judges, attorneys, and psychologists. As Olala so eloquently put it, the mask fell.

      And Olala is right: don’t relive it. Get away from it as quickly as you can and focus on you and your truth. I try not to relive it, but it upsets me when I see cases like ours and people don’t seem to understand. And I sort of still live in it. My kid loves us, but she is afraid to come home, and my ex is constantly trying to contact us. He wants us to know that we don’t have a choice. He views us as his property.

  23. The Recluse says:

    What a mess! That poor little girl. She needs to be kept clear of this viciousness as much as possible.
    Every time I turn on the local news here in NM there is some awful story about some monster harming or killing a defenseless child and it is maddening and sickening. I guess I have had more than enough of it all these days.

  24. Marianne says:

    Im not really team anyone at the moment. Maybe we should wait until the judge actually makes a ruling?

  25. Nightsky says:

    If Ava said that, I believe her. No child would make that up. Don’t know about Sonni’s integrity though. But it’s starting to become obvious that Renner is a real creep with anger and substance abuse issues.

  26. MangoAngelesque says:

    It can be difficult, though, because some kids really do like to roughhouse, and some kids really do bruise like a wounded avocado. My my nephew LOOOOOOVES the “Nom nom” game, where you basically treat his leg or arm like a drumstick and make “Om nom nom” sounds whilst “munching” on him. But I swear that child bruises if you look at him too long. But he’ll shriek with glee and beg for monsters and Nom Noms until he’s just worn himself out.

    I’m not a Renner fan. But he’s always seemed like he genuinely loves his daughter, castmates have talked about him having her on set and how much she adores him, everything. It’s hard reconciling those images with ones projected between two bitterly fighting exes.

    • Christina says:

      They used to say that my ex rally loved our daughter when she was little. Then he tried to kill her when she was 11.

      What has come out about Renner is out because he can’t hide it anymore. Based on this post, other commenters COULD be lying about what they know, but I don’t think so, because most of the women who posted are long time commenters who seem more legit than Renner.