Prince Harry & Duchess Meghan needed to Sussexit for their mental health, period

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex Prince Harry and Meghan seen arriving at a Nyanga township

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex authorized Tom Bradby’s ITV cameras to follow them to the African continent for a reason last fall. They had a message, and it was as much a cry for help as anything. Both Harry and Meghan were visibly raw and emotional as Bradby interviewed them separately at different stages of the tour. Meghan blinked back tears as she showed gratitude for Bradby for simply showing empathy and asking how she was doing. Harry was particularly emotional when discussing his mother, and how everything that’s happened with Meghan’s treatment has brought back all of those old feelings and old traumas. Now one of Meghan’s friends – or is she?? – has said that her vibe is that Harry is still traumatized and Meghan felt isolated all of last year.

A media friend who visited the Sussexes at their Frogmore Cottage home towards the end of last year fears Prince Harry is still ‘living out the trauma’ he experienced after his mother’s death. Journalist Bryony Gordon, 39, also revealed she asked Meghan: ‘Why don’t you just jack it all in?’ Writing in The Telegraph, Ms Gordon said she felt Prince Harry was ‘living out the trauma’ he experienced as a 12-year-old, when he walked behind Princess Diana’s coffin on television.

Comparing her interview with Harry from 2017 to that in October 2019, she wrote: ‘He had spoken candidly of the panic attacks that he had long experienced whenever he appeared at a public engagement. But if he thought then that he had beaten this mental torture, he now seemed to be realising that he had spoken too soon.’

Referring to the Duchess of Sussex, Ms Gordon revealed: ‘”Why don’t you just jack it all in?” I said to Meghan, after she had told me about the unexpected issues she had experienced in her new position: the loneliness; the sudden muting of her voice; the giving up of everything she knew for love, only to be, as she saw it, hounded and pilloried.’

Ms Gordon, founder of the support group Mental Health Mates, did not receive a reply to her question but could tell from Meghan’s facial expression the possibility had been considered, so was not surprised by the couple’s recent announcement. Her visit took place just after Harry and Meghan had come back from South Africa, where they filmed emotional interviews with ITV documentary maker Tom Bradby. Harry and Meghan, dressed in casual jumpers, offered Ms Gordon tea on her arrival at Frogmore Cottage, a home which she detailed as being less luxurious than many would imagine, with dogs running around and a candle in the downstairs toilet. She described the couple as less energetic than before, with Prince Harry showing less optimism in regards to his mental health.

[From The Daily Mail]

Diana spoke about the loneliness too, and the feeling of not being supported. And imagine that Harry witnessed that when he was a child, and now that he’s newly married and his wife was pregnant, the press was working in conjunction with his family to create a toxic stew where nothing they did would ever be “right.” Harry and Meghan were of course VERY raw. And I think we should start thinking of the Sussexit as less dramatic/royal-shenanigans/media trash and more like they’re doing what’s best for their mental health. Remember that, William? It’s supposed to be one of your “causes.”

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, pose with their newborn son

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red and Backgrid.

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116 Responses to “Prince Harry & Duchess Meghan needed to Sussexit for their mental health, period”

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  1. Mignionette says:

    Can we all take a moment to admire what a wonderful and strong woman Meghan was to carry Archie through nine months of the most relentless hate I’ve ever seen directed at any woman let alone a pregnant one.

    • Iris's Grandaughter says:

      @Mignionette I admire her so much. Archie is a healthy and happy baby.

    • Valiantly Varnished says:

      Exactly this. Meghan has shown what an incredibly strong woman she is through this entire time. And part of being strong is acknowledging when an environment is toxic and walking away. Im so proud of both her and Harry. It’s heartening to see two people have the courage of their convictions. Especially in this day and age when so many people don’t.

      • Christina says:

        Amen, VV.

      • Mac says:

        They failed to understand that Meghan is a self made woman. She is not afraid to take risks.

      • otaku fairy.... says:

        “And part of being strong is acknowledging when an environment is toxic and walking away.”
        This is so true- whether it’s romantic/sexual relationships, other relationships, institutions, movements, or communities. It’s probably one of the hardest truths to acknowledge because it’s human nature to want to see things through and try to improve things from within (plus, some are used to being told to settle for whatever scraps of humanity they’re shown and understand that they/ their groups can’t run from every abusive, toxic, and unequal situation). Sometimes you just need someone trustworthy- or a few someones- to tell you the truth of, “Look, you’ve done what you could to try to improve that situation, but it’s time for you to begin the process of getting out, because despite the good, they/the powers that be are determined to keep it toxic.” This has to be hard for both Meghan and Harry because family is attached and because it shouldn’t have had to come to this, there will be heat for it and there may also be fear that it looks like misogynoir won. But I think it’s a good decision, am proud of them for having the strength to make it, and hope it works out well for them.

    • Anilehcim says:

      I honestly don’t think I will ever forget the amount of people who were SO angry because Megan was always cradling her stomach while pregnant! To me, that sums up how ridiculous and unfair the media and many people in general have been toward her. Since when does it offend and upset anyone for a pregnant woman to hold or touch her stomach? People have really been reaching for reasons to hate her and it’s sick. I’m happy for them for making this stand. Who couldn’t see this potentially becoming another Diana situation if they didn’t nip it in the bud? It’s so twisted how Harry was beloved until he married Megan. Now they hate them both, but really seem to be out for blood when it comes to her.

      • Mac says:

        Especially since they didn’t have a meltdown when Kate did it.

      • Kath says:

        Don’t forget the terrorism and global upheaval Meghan supports by enjoying avocado on toast!

      • otaku fairy.... says:

        That was just so disturbingly femmephobic and cruel. All that aggression over a pregnant woman touching her belly. It’s crazy how much of that came from women too.

    • Sunshine says:

      @mignonette I shed a tear at your comment. The abuse she dealt with through her pregnancy was inhumane. That is why I will never support the monarchy again.

    • Coco says:

      I had my baby a month after Meghan and was always so impressed with how she handled herself, the strength she must of had to endure and deliver a healthy baby. I deal with anxiety from PTSD from a childhood event and it becomes heightened during pregnancy. Also been dealing with PPA this time around and in therapy. I think of Meghan quite often and her mental health. Having a baby is difficult enough but I can’t begin to imagine the strain they must’ve been living under dealing with such a toxic mess. I’m relieved they are getting out. I wish nothing but the best for them after everything they’ve been through these past couple of years.

    • Abby says:

      All of this. It brings me to tears to think about.

    • Taryn says:

      Britain allowed a pregnant woman to be bullied and then had the gall to say she deserved it. I can’t imagine how she made it through that, she is really one hell of a strong woman.

      • BabyYoda says:

        I’m seeing the hydra of racism as a British national monument during Brexit. One day our world showed optimistic cultural progression and the next day, overt hate for a mixed race royal. Wish I could hide while the pendulum swings back.

    • PrincessK says:

      Yes, you have to admire her for that. The goading of a new first time mother to be …led by Piers Morgan…throughout her entire pregnancy was despicable. They were so upset that she got pregnant quickly and were probably hoping the stress would make her miscarry. I was so incensed by the unrelentless abominable attack on her during her pregnancy that I wrote FOUR letters of complaint to the Daily Mail.

      In my life I have never seen the press unleash such a torrent of wicked cruelty towards an innocent woman thrust into the spotlight, trying to work hard in a new country. I was ashamed of Britain.

      Meghan has probably told Harry that she cannot go through another pregnancy and be subjected to such vicious lies and hatred.

  2. knowitall says:

    That was my takeaway from the documentary. It felt like Meghan was having to deal not only with the toxic media, but with Harry’s mental health issues coming to a head. Sometimes a great relationship forces you to confront some pent up personal/family issues because you have an ally who sees things for what they are and forces you to face them. However, if your partner is going through something that hard, it’s beyond isolating. I wonder if Meghan misses her old life to an extreme at this point. She’s back in Canada so that’s good. She deserves some F-U-N!

    • If Harry was struggling as indicated and his panic attacks were returning, I think it is highly likely that he has been the driving force for their private a life as possible. I suffer from panic attacks and they are truly debilitating and demoralizing. Having Meghan’s support must have helped him realize every single event in his life had not been purchased by the British people and they had a right to keep things private. I keep thinking back to his amazing joy when he announced Archie’s birth and his obvious blissful love when they presented Archie to the world. Both “media” events were private and controlled and thus no panic attacks. I think he knows Meghan loves the man and not the title.

      • minx says:

        Panic attacks are hell on earth. I wish the best for H and M, they are doing the right thing. I can hardly bear to read about all the behind-the-scenes machinations and arcane rules that “must” be followed—ugh. This is one dysfunctional, spoiled family.

    • James Marriott article dated Jan 10 in the Comment section of The Times entitled, “Spirited Royals are Right to Break Out of Their Cages,” is worth searching out and reading for his view on the mental health of the royals in defense of the Sussexes.

  3. Anya says:

    All of this is so sad

  4. sparker says:

    My marriage is mixed race and we’ve been isolated on both sides of the family for twenty-five years for two reasons, either because we’re special and family members view their relationship with us as a status item which they try to restrict others from having, or because they think they have to be on their best “woke” behavior around us and just avoid us altogether. They all like us, but we’re hard work for them. In the end, we wind up doing the same thing and seeking out other like us and that’s probably what will happen to the Sussex also.

    • Amy Too says:

      Sparker, your comment makes me think about one of the other articles that just came out and was covered in another post this morning about how the RF found Harry and Meghan to be “difficult.” I couldn’t figure that out. I didn’t think they were particularly difficult at all and couldn’t really think of anything they were doing that would be so trying for the rest of the family. I thought maybe it had to do with Harry and Meghan working too much or not playing nicely with the media. But what you said makes more sense to me. An all-white family who is the epitome of white-privilege, financial-privilege, class-privilege, status-privilege, and all the other privileges, might have felt that just being around this interracial couple was “difficult” for them. They were probably “uncomfortable” and felt they had to be on their best behavior around them to prove they weren’t racist, but also might have been angry about having their world view challenged and their “safe space” violated by a woman of color. They had to balance a need to keep Meghan and Harry “in their place” in the family hierarchy, complete with the almost ritual hazing new married-in members of the family face, with not wanting to seem like they were bullying her because she’s black. There might have been some guilt that came with recognizing they actually weren’t very comfortable around a black woman, but also a defensiveness and unwillingness to see anything as racist or xenophobic because they wanted to convince themselves that they “don’t see color” and this was all just the normal media crap that all wives go through.

      Her blackness, her black mother, their interracial relationship, their mixed race child were never able to be forgotten and were always at the forefront of the family’s minds when they interacted with the couple. They resented that they felt like they had to act differently around her and them in order to prove to her and themselves that they aren’t racist.

  5. Becks1 says:

    the part about being lonely is so sad to me, especially considering how when she did see her friends, the media tore her apart for it (Wimbledon, baby shower, etc.). I know she did have some friends in the UK but its hard to move to a new country and establish a new social circle that you like and trust, for anyone, and it was so much harder for her.

  6. notasugarhere says:

    Let’s not fall for William’s ‘Harry is fragile’ spin. William is the one in serious need of a mental health intervention. Harry is strong and getting stronger and healthier every day.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      Yes – the Sussex’s are a strong couple and that has been evident in the way the have played the RF and media over the past few days.

      And yes William is in dire need of an intervention.

    • Iris's Grandaughter says:

      @Nota all of this^^^

    • Vava says:

      Yes, NOTA, you are right. William is out of control.

    • RoyalBlue says:

      @nota and there isn’t any amount of meds to cure narcissism. Only straight psychotherapy will help William but first he has to acknowledge that he has a problem.

      • Vava says:

        And that will never happen. My MIL is a narcissist and my god, dealing with her is enough to drive a person insane. She’s 97 and hopefully we won’t have to endure it much longer. William is trash.

  7. lanne says:

    Meghan and Harry have to know that the media wanted her to miscarry. They did everything they could to make her miscarry. What has to hurt like hell is knowing that your own damn family fed their hatred. That’s their bond right there–both Meghan and Harry have toxic families that would be willing to see their own family member come to harm in support of their own pettiness and jealousy. How can they walk around that palace knowing that their own brother would have been relieved had their son never been born? They could write the ultimate book about toxic family, and going NC. The truth is coming out now, and the more the truth comes out about the Royals, the more monstrous they look. I think the Royals will have to give up their Heads Together campaign. It will look like the height of hypocrisy now for William to say anything about mental health, knowing what he and his have done to his brother. They will have to hold their favorite journalists even closer now. All it takes is for 1 journalist to go rogue on camera and ask William about Harry at an event. The Royals power without the Sussexes has diminished. Being able to say “no access to the Sussexes” could theoretically keep the reporters in line, but are reporters really going to fear “no access to the Cambridges?” Especially those outside the UK?

    • Kk2 says:

      What? This is bananas. There is not much (any?) evidence that psychological stress causes miscarriage. Genetic defects and other biological factors cause miscarriage. People have babies in war zones! In famines! Refugees have babies. Women who just found out their partners are cheating. Wives of deployed soldiers. Etc etc. Stress can affect Fetal development, we think, based on very recent research. But stressing someone out does not cause them to miscarry. And this line of thinking has some misogynistic undertones- that women are responsible for miscarriage based on their handling of/ability to avoid stress and that pregnant women are somehow fragile. Not true at all.

      I think Meghan is a very strong lady for a variety of reasons, including this sussexit, but not because she carried a pregnancy to term while also being stressed.

      • Nic919 says:

        I personally know two women who had miscarriages due to extreme stress. It does not happen to everyone, but stress does affect hormones and that’s exactly the kind of thing that affects a pregnancy, especially in the early stages.

      • BabsORIG says:

        @KK2, people miscarry for a lloott of reasons including stress levels. Prolonged stress can cause PIH which significantly increase the chances of premature births. In some cases, HELLP has been traced back to high stress levels that caused PIH resulting in HELLP or preeclampsia, etc

      • KL says:

        Um: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5431920/

        “The results of this meta-analysis support the belief that psychological stress before and during pregnancy is associated with miscarriage. A view held by some medical practitioners and around three quarters of pregnant women, but most often dismissed by doctors and other health care professionals. Whilst chromosomal abnormalities underlie many cases of early pregnancy loss, the present results show that these psychological factors can increase the risk by approximately 42%.”

        I understand not supporting one study or another, but I do feel it’s irresponsible to assume there’s no data to be found anywhere to support that conclusion. And the whole “people have babies in war zones” — people react to stress differently. Some career soldiers never suffer from PTSD, others never even see direct conflict and spend the rest of their lives suffering. Trauma is unique to the individual. And I’d argue that it’s pretending otherwise which is deeply harmful.

      • SilentStar says:

        I nearly miscarried due to extreme stress. Thankfully the pregnancy was far enough along that I could be put on bed rest in hospital which mostly removed me from the stress. My son was born 6 weeks premature. I had counseling throughout and the message was very clear: “This stress is dangerous for your pregnancy”, and “This premature birth was mostly likely caused by your stress”.

        Stress hormones do wacky things in a pregnant body. Stress also affects sleep and can exacerbate other physical issues, all of which affects the health of the growing baby.

        The mother’s stress also affects the baby’s cognitive development and has been linked to anxiety and other cognitive and behavior issues in the children after they are born — issues they may carry their whole lives. My child definitely did not escape this.

      • Smalltown Girl says:

        Kk2, stress can absoloutely contribute to a miscarriage. Stress has a huge physical toll on the body and when you are pregnant, you are drawing all the resources you can. I know some people who have miscarried because of stress. It is why the risk of miscarriage goes up after a tragic loss.

  8. HK9 says:

    Last night CBC did an interview with one of those racist Royal Reporters. She (the reporter) wasn’t convincing at all. Saw right through it. Glad H & M are out of it.

    My take is this, the PR at the palace is so bad and it will begin to implode as they won’t admit failure and they need outside help. W&K and the royal reporters need to circle this date as it will be the beginning of the end of many things.

    • Nic919 says:

      Was it Katie Nicholl? I was hoping they had ditched her following the hacking story. Omid Scobie was interviewed on CBC on the day the statement came out. I was hoping he would be their new go to person.

    • L84Tea says:

      What did she say?

  9. (TheOG)@jan90067 says:

    It’s VERY telling that when Harry came out and SAID he was having mental health issues (whether they had to do with Diana or not!), HIS OWN BROTHER AND FAMILY CHOSE TO IGNORE HIS CRY OF PAIN! *AND* YES, it IS William’s pet cause: MENS’ Mental Health…oh, wait, that’s ONLY for Footballers. My bad. “Carry on and suffer, Harry…can’t be bothered. Oh, and let me ADD to your burden by bashing your wife!”

    • notasugarhere says:

      It was Harry’s cause years before William and Kate got on his bandwagon. Their interest in mental health has only ever been surface/PR, vs. Harry’s honest work with veteran mental health for years.

      • (TheOG)@jan90067 says:

        What you say is 100% true, Nota. They *did* come late to the party and try to take ownership of Harry’s cause. William *did* expand this to the Football League, along with “racism” in the League…funny how it’s ok in his OWN family, though, isn’t it?

    • Green Desert says:

      I’ve been saying this on other threads, you’re 100% correct. This is why it makes me so mad that Will and Kate pretend to care about mental health.

      Harry struggled with the royal life for years in a way similar to how his mother struggled; he was always very honest about this. I believe he met a kindred spirit in Meghan who, just by being herself, showed him what a life filled with passion and work could be like. Many white people don’t fully understand racism until it’s directed at someone they love, and when he saw the treatment of his wife and child, the accumulated feelings about royal life, his family, the constraints, and most importantly how his little family was treated it began to be too much. And when he saw his asshole brother have affairs and stoke the fires of the racist media coverage, and felt the lack of vocal family support, that was it.

  10. OriginalLala says:

    i’m happy they are doing what they believe is best for them – and hopefully this situation will just further highlight what a waste the BRF is and they can fade into oblivion. They’ve done enough damage.

  11. 123qwerty says:

    I know this is a Superbowl level story for the royal press and royal gossip mavens, but the prospect that a grown man and woman and their child are intending to make their own decisions and move on from the royal family is really a non-story.

    Sincere good luck to them.

    • Alexandria says:

      Right? The RR and likes of screeching DMers keep saying the Sussexes are insignificant and embiggen WK as much as they can. And when HM downgrade themselves to minor royals their brains explode. Wtf? Have they forgotten about HRH Beatrice and Eugenie?

    • L4frimaire says:

      Agree with this. They could have issued a bland statement saying like the Swedish royals did, that in order to streamline the monarchy and burden the taxpayers less, they would reduce the roles of the Sussexes to xyz, make them support themselves, and serve the Queen at her majesty’s pleasure. But that would make sense. However, that would mean cutting out the other minor royals. That was never the intention. The goal was to mute, muzzle and break the Sussexes. This is really traumatic for them and really wish them the best. They were so optimistic. William is a psychologically damaged man to continually leak negative stories and isolate them at every turn. Charles is weak, Diana was right about him. You hear the term generational trauma referring to the underclass but this Royal Family is seeing it up close.

  12. Sierra says:

    I think they did the right thing by getting out of a toxic situation.

    Harry & Meghan obviously had no support from the inner family regarding racism. They knew Archie would suffer if they stayed so they choose mental well-being.

    I hope they earn shit load of money and becomes more successful.

  13. Nina says:

    The royal family and the media even worked together during her pregnancy to cause her a miscarriage.
    Harry and Meghan have so much potential.
    They just need good allies and a solid plan outside ouf this cesspool

  14. Lori says:

    I said this on another post but perhaps its more fitting here. I see their situation as similar to when Katie Holmes broke free of Scientology. They had to do this with some quickness and in secret if they hd any hopes of pulling it off.

  15. Tourmaline says:

    Jim Waterson in the Guardian has a well done article today about Harry’s relationship with the press even predating meeting Meghan. The conclusion is he absolutely hated the relationship he was placed in with the royal reporters. The new royal rota policy the Sussexes announced stems from years of Harry feeling forced into this relationship with certain media.

    The issues and feelings here are so profoundly rooted that it seems like a joke when things like said like OMG how can they be allowed now to keep Frogmore Cottage as their residence. That must be such small potatoes to Harry and Meghan in the scheme of things. I’m sure they don’t give a flying fig really about that cottage which has only been their base for a matter of months.

  16. sassbr says:

    The vitriol over on reddit about these two is so toxic. Everyone saying they used the taxpayer for their wedding and house and now they’re “quitting.” Yes, that was the plan all along, to get a big wedding and house remodel so they put up with the most disgusting, outwardly racist hate campaign I have ever seen. Stupid.

    I also posted a topic about it in my makeup/skincare group on Facebook, saying it would be great if Meghan could restart her lifestyle blogging and two women from the U.K. just used the topic to talk about how they side-eye Meghan for marrying a racist in the first place and slagged off Americans because they’re even more racist than the U.K. and good riddance to bad rubbish. So she’s even polarizing among POC in the U.K. I had to delete to whole topic.

    We would definitely be excited to have them back in North America. We think she’s great.

    • notasugarhere says:

      Disappointing Serena’s husband lets that run unchecked on his site.

      • Beach Dreams says:

        Eh, Alexis co-founded Reddit and left well before it skyrocketed to what it is now (which is why he’s rich but doesn’t have anywhere near the level of wealth one would expect from a co-founder of such a site). It’s only in the last couple of years that he’s returned in some (limited) capacity. He even used to post occasionally on r/tennis but of course that largely stopped after the racism from the commenters post USO 2018. Reddit is largely trashy and racist but Alexis is hardly to blame for that.

      • Star says:

        He doesn’t have any control over that, and Reddit is notoriously anti-censorship, giving full control of a subreddit to that sub’s moderators. So if you’re going to criticize someone for letting that content stand, it should be the moderators of the sub on which it appears.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Thank you, this makes me feel slightly better about all of this.

  17. Chelle says:

    Yeah. Toxic stress is a MF. It affects everything. Your body, your thinking state, your emotional well-being. He actually has a little bit of a belly now. When I first saw it I thought it was just a marriage belly but it could be a stress belly too.

    I don’t control the world but I’d hate for his family and just people in general to think that he’s weak or she’s weak because they couldn’t “handle it”. No one could handle what they’ve been through very well. And it says something good about them that not only are they still standing but they are fighting for their right to exist and to exist on their own terms.

  18. Rachel says:

    I’m from the UK and have to say I am so glad to have found a website supporting, Meghsn and Harry, especially Meghan. The British Media’s behaviour and that of some of the readers towards Meghan has shocked me to the core. I can understand not liking somone, that’s normal but what is irrational is the constant, systematic vitriol that has been thrown at her, even during her pregnancy. Can someone who has not done any harm (longstanding extra-marrital affairs, peadophile friends etc) be subject to such intense hatred. I’m glad they are stepping away, and hope they can be left in peace.

    • Sarah says:

      I agree @Rachel I’m a Brit too and I’m uncomfortable with even how the BBC seem to be covering this. I wish them well and applaud this decision.

    • PrincessK says:

      Yes, I am British too, and this website is a godsend, providing sound and thoughtful analysis of what is really going on. It is very difficult to find sane places to discuss the Duke and Duchess, where people are not baying for their blood.

  19. DP says:

    I think this is them trying to have more control over their own lives, and not just be cogs in an outdated machine. Mental health plays a role as they Strive to establish a healthier, more balanced environment for themselves their son.
    I commend them for trying to distance themselves from toxic family members and set appropriate boundaries.
    The racism, the media abuse, the family normalizing and protecting a rapist (!!!!!!!!!!!) are just SOME of the reasons to step away.
    It seems to me they are trying to have both though, which may not work. They may have to truly walk away.

  20. Nicegirl says:

    Mental wellness is everything. It’s worth all the hard work.

  21. Rogue says:

    I know people think it was indulgent to discuss their issues in their documentary& I still have mixed feelings about the narrative of the doc- but I couldn’t get over see how weary she was but also restraining herself knowing her words would be used against her. That was sad. Seems like it’s been a constant battle her family, his, the press. Not to mention moving 3 times since 2017 (possibly 4th now), having a baby& trying to adjust to new marriage& position.

  22. THEREALME says:

    Totally agree with the poster above regarding Harry hating the press. I really feel he has not dealt totally with his mother’s death I also believe that he is quite fragile right now. As I said in another post I have no doubt that he loves his family and would do anything for them but only time will tell if this is the right move. North America is very different from England and no doubt he will have a huge culture shock just like I think Meghan did with her move. Again, I just don’t know how this all went so wrong. When they got engaged the royal family seemed to embrace them she was invited for Christmas before marriage when no one else had been. Charles walked her down the aisle, the British people lined the streets, millions watched. Press talked about how this modernized the royal family and what this meant for so many people. And now this. It’s just really sad. I think Harry has always had a hard time figuring out what his role would be and Meghan has helped him find a new path. But in all honesty family roots are extremely powerful and I honestly don’t know if he will ever find total peace anywhere. Hopefully his family can help but that is a big task for any wife/children to carry to be someone’s everything and have their well-being depend on you. As well if they continue to take money from “England” through Charles it will not play out well in the press or with the people I just think this is so messy and wish it all could have been handled better by everyone involved. Obviously the royal family did not understand how stressed Harry and Meghan were and it sounds like the family is broken badly right now. It’s a real shame.

    • Becklu says:

      I agree so much with this. I think it was all to much to soon.

    • notasugarhere says:

      Harry is not fragile, that’s William’s PR spin. He is stronger than ever and using that strength to get his wife and child out of a toxic environment.

  23. YAS says:

    Kudos to them for taking the steps that they need to feel okay. As someone who suffers from anxiety and someone who has close friends and family members who suffer from various mental health issues, I wondered if this was part of the calculus. I applaud them for taking the stance because too few people walk away from toxic environments for fear of social repercussions, lack of privilege, etc.

  24. Kath says:

    My original thought when all this happened was along the lines of, “of course it came to this after relentless assault.” But now the more I think about it… idk I kind of feel like they’re being slightly immature. I absolutely agree that the media have been horrific and the family has not supported them in the way they should. I totally understand why they have been led to this place. BUT. Joining the royal family and becoming a mother within two years is a hell of a lot to take on and come with there own mental anguish. Those are both things that are very isolating. For me, a regular woman, the first year of motherhood was insanely isolating. I’m really glad that I didn’t jump ship on my life because of that. I feel like Kate gets all this shit for stepping back all the time and maybe that is what she needs for her mental health. Maybe the Sussex’s needed to let time play out a little longer and let things settle instead of adding even more to their plate. It just seems like there’s definitely more a side of wanting the fame and glory that can’t be had within the royal family. I am not contradicting that the media has been awful or that Harry and Meghan haven’t worked their butts off for an ungrateful family, but I think there is more to this and maybe they aren’t mastermind saints.

    • Taryn says:

      I wouldn’t call them SAINTS. But the vilification Meghan and Meghan alone has gotten from the media shows Britain and the BRF in a horrible light that this was allowed to continue for so long. Also, it is so bad because there is an extreme racist and xenophobic angle to it. Remember they stuck this out for two long years, issued warnings and statements and it only got worse. I think it was clear something happened behind the scenes concerning the media and Harry going to his family to ask for help, and instead they chose to protect a pedophile while Meghan was allowed to be bullied over anything and everything, pitted against Kate (who is praised as a saint every time she does the bare minimum, so I do not think being work-shy is part of her mental health), pregnancy shamed, postpartum shamed etc.. They absolutely hinted that this is the case in the African Journey interviews. I also think it’s absurd that people are genuinely upset that a GROWN MAN wants to make what he and his wife feel are the best decision for their family and the overall rhetoric is “how dare they.” It’s probably solidified their decision even more. This isn’t them jumping ship on their lives, this is them taking control of it and protecting themselves and their child.

      • Kath says:

        I absolutely agree that it’s insane that people are making this a “Meghan trapped her husband!” debate. He is a grown man who is prioritizing his family and making his own choices.

    • lanne says:

      There was nothing meghan could do to appease the press. Their reaction to them leaving proves it. She’s out there working? She’s working too much. She’s too ambitious. She doesn’t work? She’s a welfare queen freeloader (you know the British public would have gone there). She smiles at the cameras? She’s a celebrity wannabe. She ignores the cameras? She’s “arrogant.” The goalposts would always be moved for her. She was criticized for “breaking protocols” that ALL royal women have broken, sometimes even in the same photograph (ROYALS DONT CROSS THEIR LEGS while Princess Anne sits cross-legged 2 seats away). The royal reporters had their script already: Meghan was the American BLACK interloper who had to be taken down by any means necessary. The more she smiled, the more they hated her. The hatred she got while pregnant/new mother is inexcusable. I don’t think you experienced that in your first year of motherhood. I think you are being incredibly naive at best, and dismissing the lived experience of a woman of color at worst. This isn’t about motherhood or even mental health. It’s about hate. William wants her gone. The British media wants her gone. Harry left before they could find a reason for William to kick them out. William’s leak to the British media forced their hand. There’s no fair play here, so holding the Sussexes to rules of fair play makes no sense.

    • notasugarhere says:

      Try again tumblr.

      They have spent three years being attacked unceasingly, with the attacks being supported by and coming from members of the royal family. They haven’t failed to do their work, like Kate has consistently failed to do hers. Harry and Meghan have been doing their work while being attacked, with W&K trying to take credit for their work AND trying to steal charity money they raised.

      They aren’t saying they’re leaving. They’re saying they’ll be minor royals like the Gloucesters and Kents, do their work supporting the Queen, but be free to do their outside charity work without W&K stealing credit or funds.

    • Sunshine says:

      KATH, they tried to kill her baby. Let that sink in.

      • Kath says:

        that is some flat earther level speculation there

      • notasugarhere says:

        Two white nationlists targeted Harry for assassination because of this marriage. They are currently in prison.

        White powder sent in envelopes to Meghan.

        One of the extreme Meghan haters on tumblr? Traveled to NYC with the express purpose of physically attacking Meghan and ‘ripping off her fake baby bump’. She also traveled to Windsor the day Archie was born, taking photos of how dangerously close she could get to Frogmore. Documented all of it on her tumblr, to the praise and acclaim of the other Meghan haters on there.

        Not making it up. Documented physical actions of violence against Harry, Meghan, and Archie.

      • Kath says:

        well that is all news to me. I don’t do tumblr… is this in print anywhere?

      • notasugarhere says:

        You were completely unaware of the published news reports of the white powder? Of all the published news reports about the white nationalists being imprisoned? Of the crazy tumblrs. Sure, Jan.

      • Kath says:

        Girl, get a grip, that has not been in the news. All of us don’t rabidly scour the internet for sussex news.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Yes, Kath, it has been in the news. For over a year now. You’ve chosen to pretend otherwise, or to get all your news from anti-Meghan articles on the Fail.

      • Jaded says:

        @Kath – she was sent an envelope containing white powder which caused an anthrax scare. Two teens have been sent to prison in the United Kingdom for neo-Nazi hate threats against Harry deeming him a “race traitor” for marrying Duchess Meghan. White resistance material was found at their homes and instructions on how to make a bomb. One image they’d posted on social media showed Prince Harry with a gun held to his head and a swastika, captioned with the phrase “See ya later race traitor.”

        This isn’t some made-up fantasy, it’s real.

  25. Becks1 says:

    I just want to say that I LOVE that “Sussexit” is now a headline on the top of this site, lol.

  26. Flying fish says:

    I am not buying this Harry’s mental health narrative.
    Harry is upset in regards to the treatment of his wife and child, as he should be.

  27. Athyrmose says:

    Clearly UK doesn’t have a HIPPA equivalent. Yikes on bikes.

    I support them, and am happy they’re divesting from The Firm, but my goodness. This person shouldn’t be sharing contents of their therapy.

    • Tourmaline says:

      HIPAA in the US prevents specific entities such as medical facilities and treating providers and insurers from disclosing private health info without authorization. It does not bar any other people from speculating or discussing anyone else’s health.

      • Athyrmose says:

        I’m aware. However, I read this, and initially thought the comments were from a therapist working for this group. Upon review, now see that she’s a journalist, not one of the therapists. 👍🏾

      • Tourmaline says:

        Understand; sorry for jumping in it’s a little pet peeve of mine

  28. Becklu says:

    Ok assuming this is true- then outside of the horrible media what did Meghan think?!? I mean I know I’m going to get ripped apart for this but I don’t feel bad she felt her voice was silenced she married into the royal family and we all know they aren’t suppose to have opinions!!!! I mean that is common knowledge as well as you always follow the party line. If Harry didn’t tell her that in detail then well he should be ashamed. But Meghan should have had an idea based on public knowledge.

    It’s why when they got married I thought she lost it- because I could never live like that. I have a career and opinions and I don’t want to have to keep them to myself because of “tradition” or rules.

    Again the media was horrific and she didn’t deserve that, and I think the family should have done more to help her. But she knew what she was marrying in terms of politics and opinions and if she didn’t like it she shouldn’t have.

    I also think Harry hasn’t been a big support for her because of his mental health issues, and she’s had to deal with a pregnancy, a new role with serious limitations, a marriage and a new country. Add in a horrible and racist media and Harry’s mental health and I think it was to much.

    I think they may regret this I think they are both raw and Harry needs help, like he needs to seek help. I wish they had done that and asked the queen for an extended leave and said if the leaking doesn’t stop we will quit. But this would have allowed them some family time, Harry could get help and Meghan some peace.

    Also if the queen didn’t agree they could release it all and walk away. I just fear they made a decision in anger and a dark emotional place that it might not be what they truly want long term.

    • notasugarhere says:

      Harry is not the one in need of a mental health intervention, his abusive out-of-control older brother is. And his paper-thin SIL who has traded a title for an unhappy, business deal marriage where her husband cheats right left and centre.

      Harry is not fragile, he is not falling apart. That is the William spin, the obsessed W&K stan spin.

      Harry has grown stronger in the last decade, especially with Meghan’s help. He’s recognized the abusive nature of his family and has stood up against it. He won’t let anyone harm his wife and child, especially his family. He and his wife won’t let W&K steal their charity funds or control their charity work.

      Harry’s newfound peace, his happy marriage, his refusal to be a scapegoat any longer? All of this has pushed his older brother further over the edge, with his marriage of convenience, his huge ego, William’s lifelong desire to run away from the royal family and royal duty.

      • Peg says:

        They were not going to let the HUB money be used for anything but the HUB Kitchen.
        Then a RR tried to claim credit for Kate on the SmartSet.
        Still waiting to hear how much money they received for the sailing regatta, the books at the Foundation are a mess.

    • Peg says:

      What more do you want Harry to do? This is a man that has done everything possible for his family.
      Using mental health against someone, is a new low.
      She is his wife, so if she helped her husband and he helped her BFD.

    • Kath says:

      I agree with what you’re saying. They have received horrible treatment and something needed to be done. But there are certainly elements too that seem like they should have accepted them or dealt with them differently- like having opinions. It all seems rash.

  29. Sunshine says:

    2 words. Dave Chappelle.

  30. Peg says:

    It look like scammy waited too long, to publish the book, that she claim to have been writing for the last four years.
    I don’t think Toxic Tom will ever be part of their lives.
    In all the news out there, this made me laugh, Willy wanted a meeting with Harry after the African trip and Harry refused.
    Another one, a young Royal asked Meghan where they went for their honeymoon and she told the young Royal, that they’re not saying, just proves they knew they could not trust any one in the family.

    • PrincessK says:

      Wow! That really shows how bad things were , fancy being part of a family where you are afraid to trust anybody. I hope all this gets written up in a book in the future.

      Scammy has to be very careful now that the Sussexes are breaking free. She will have to watch herself when it comes to libel and slander because the lawyers will be on to her like a shot, the Sussexes will no longer have to be silent victims.

  31. Rose says:

    Honestly all the commenters on other sites shitting all over them has kind of proven their point. Hoping they find peace.

  32. MellyMel says:

    Mental health is so important and I applaud them for doing what they feel is necessary to have some semblance of peace. There is nothing wrong with removing yourself from a toxic situation, even if it’s family.

  33. Steph says:

    I saw a part of the doc on Twitter yesterday; her interview then Harry’s. What struck me-other than her obvious pain- was something Harry said in his interview. When talking about the need to protect his family, he said something along the lines of, “Anyone in my position would do the same… If you knew what I knew.” Everyone in the thread then went on to say that Diana’s death wasn’t an accident. So I say good for them, if that’s what they feel they need. And as for the conspiracy theories, I wonder what exactly Harry feels about those.

  34. Fern says:

    This is the first site that’s printed what I’ve been thinking….that they are making that choice for their own mental health. Although I’m not a fan of either of them, the hatred and spin projected at Meghan is out of control. The people commenting on those articles are particularly cruel and lacking anything that resembles compassion or empathy for the most part. There is no point to their continuation of royal duties. They serve only as a distraction and target for hate. They’re constantly called parasites by the UK folks for their spending. They’ve announced that they plan on becoming financially independent and the same UK folks are enraged that they would do that. There is no winning for them.

  35. lanne says:

    Maya Angelou said, “when people tell you who they are, believe them.” The British Royal family, the British media, and the British tabloid readers have shown us who they are. Virulent racists.

    I always thought that Prince Harry’s wife would struggle whoever she was because so many of the British public felt ownership of him after watching him walk behind his mother’s coffin. It was like he had 20 million mothers in law who wouldn’t approve of anyone for “her Harry.” But it’s so, so much worse than that. It’s like he has millions of toxic mothers in law who are deliberately out to destroy his happiness. (I’m including the media as a figurative “mother in law, too, and the most toxic of all.) They want to keep “their Harry” in a little box, forgetting he’s an actual human being who can make choices and has agency over his own life. They are as unreasonable as a toxic mother in law who really thinks “her boy” will leave his wife and come home to mommy and everything will be the way it used to be when he was five. If they could “get rid of” Meghan and even Archie, they would.

  36. s says:

    William will regret not knowing Archie. He should do whatever it takes to make this right. Im sure all Harry wants is for his family to embrace his new family and get behind Meghan. And Im not saying its true BUT who cares if Meghan and Harry are a little difficult? They want to do things a little differently, LET THEM! My sister-in-law does things verrrry differently, I still love the girl! She keeps things interesting and she makes my brother happy – literally the only thing thats important to me in matters of his life choices!

  37. marni112 says:

    Well, the question is if you know your spouse is struggling from a mental health perspective ,why would you as a supportive wife leave them alone (with their emotional vunerability ) to deal with this problem/their family on their own ?Theoretically this is a joint decision to leave and while MM in not likely to take part in family discussions, she has certainly distanced herself from the process -symbolically as well as , physically.Even if she needed to speed back to archie , why not arrange to have brought him in the first place ??

    • Mary says:

      Gosh, @Marni112, you appear to be harping about Harry’s fragile emotional health in multiple posts at this site. You would really like to have us all believe that Harry is just wallowing in a little puddle of self-pity and emotional fragility right now, wouldn’t you?

      As I responded to you on another post, a huge weight has been taken off of his shoulders with that bomb of an announcement that the Sussexes dropped. They have taken a positive step to move away from his toxic family and to protect themselves from the Press, and they now have the upper hand in any negotiations going forward.

      As I responded to you elsewhere, I think Prince Harry is feeling pretty great right now.

      Tumblr misses you.

    • clomo says:

      Perhaps this was Harry’s idea, you weren’t there.

  38. Where'sMyTiara says:

    With respect, suffering is not a zero sum game. People don’t stop deserving empathy because of what family they were born to, high or low. Troll harder, love.

  39. Katie says:

    I feel like it’s more for their pocket book and less for their “mental health”. Like Meghan already signed a deal with Disney….

    Do I think they were treated unfairly in the press? Yes. But I feel a bit lied to. Like I thought she was going to do great things with Harry as a part of the Royal family. They want out so they can do it alone, “be their own boss” and keep the money…like ISNT THE POSSIBILITY OF WEARING A TIARA ENOUGH REASON TO STAY?!?!

    Welcome to the royal family. Sorry not sorry. They ain’t easy and neither are you. Ughhhhh.

    • notasugarhere says:

      Tumblr misses you

      She has done great things. Hubb Kitchen cookbook, SmartWorks clothing collection.

      They haven’t said they’re leaving permanently or refusing their duty to the Crown. They have set forward a plan to continue to work for the Queen. While doing so, they will receive the same type of taxpayer support all the other working royals do. While living in the most modest accommodations of any of the working royals.

      But the rest of the time? They want the freedom to live away from the royal cesspool like Princess Madeleine of Sweden. When they raise funds for charity, like the Hubb Kitchen? They will not allow W&K to steal the money and the credit, as they tried to do last year.

      Pay attention. William tried to steal charity money raised for and by Grenfell survivors. Harry and Meghan said no, we want our own Foundation for our own charity funds and work. Money we raise for X will go to X, not to any W&K embiggening projects.

      William freaked over the loss of control, freaked over the loss of his scapegoats, started foaming at the mouth. All of this is a result of William being unhinged about Harry and Meghan.

      • Olenna says:

        Well said, nota. The OP’s comment –”I thought she was going to do great things with Harry as a part of the Royal family” just shows you how much people rely on the tabloids and SM sites for their news. Some people can’t be bothered to read the Sussexes informative new website or acknowledge the fact that they had a plan to get themselves off the royal dole, make their own living, continue to do good, charitable work, and sustain their own lifestyle while still giving support to that ratchet queen. Or, that a trusted person(s) within the royal households sold them out to the press, destroying any chance they had of making a dignified and respectful transition in the eyes of their detractors. They don’t want to acknowledge that the British media–tabloid press, Royal Rota, even the BBC–were slighting them at every turn, disparaging their character and even that of their baby son. And, this situation was especially untenable and had to stop for their well-being and productivity.

    • notasugarhere says:

      The Disney deal, as currently reported, is in exchange for a donation to an elephant wildlife charity.

    • Jaded says:

      @Katie: Meghan gave the money she earned to Elephants Without Borders. And on William’s watch, a group of 16 criminals posing as people affected by the Grenfell tragedy falsely claimed a total of £775,000 from the Grenfell victims’ fund with police only recovering £24,000.