Stevie Nicks: ‘I absolutely know that my mom is around all the time’

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Stevie Nicks has a new interview with The Guardian that was a delight to read. I hope that I can take a lesson from these older women, like Stevie, Jane Fonda and Dolly Parton, that I should be myself and say my piece while I can. The last time we talked about Stevie she was saying that she’s ready for the pandemic to be over because she’s 72 and only has so many youthful years left. It was said to see but true. Stevie is getting the most headlines in this Guardian interview for saying that an abortion she had during Fleetwood Mac’s heyday helped her career and ultimately the future of music. (She didn’t phrase it like that, that’s my interpretation.) There are so many good quotes in this interview it’s hard to know what to include. I really liked what she said about spirituality and how she feels her mom’s presence and wanted to talk about that too. Here’s some of what she told The Guardian, with more at the source.

On her approach to spirituality
“Some people are really afraid of dying, but I’m not. I’ve always believed in spiritual forces. I absolutely know that my mom is around all the time.” Just after her mother died, in 2012, Nicks was standing in her kitchen with “really bad acid reflux”. “And I felt something almost tap my shoulder and this voice go: ‘It’s that Gatorade you’re drinking,’” she says. “I’d been sick and chugging down the Hawaiian Punch. Now, that’s not some romantic, gothic story of your mother coming back to you. It’s your real mother, walking into your kitchen and saying” – she puts on a rasp – “‘Don’t drink any more of that shit.’” She pauses, waiting for me to laugh, then cackles.

Her mom’s advice
“She said to me: you will never stand in a room full of men and feel like you can’t keep up with them. And you will never depend upon a man to support you. She drummed that into me, and I’m so glad she did.”

On her abortion
Women’s rights have been on Nicks’ mind since the death of her “hero”, the US supreme court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, last month. “Abortion rights, that was really my generation’s fight. If President Trump wins this election and puts the judge he wants in, she will absolutely outlaw it and push women back into back-alley abortions.”

Nicks terminated a pregnancy in 1979, when Fleetwood Mac were at their height and she was dating the Eagles singer Don Henley. What did it mean to be able to make that choice? “If I had not had that abortion, I’m pretty sure there would have been no Fleetwood Mac. There’s just no way that I could have had a child then, working as hard as we worked constantly. And there were a lot of drugs, I was doing a lot of drugs … I would have had to walk away.” She pauses. “And I knew that the music we were going to bring to the world was going to heal so many people’s hearts and make people so happy. And I thought: you know what? That’s really important. There’s not another band in the world that has two lead women singers, two lead women writers. That was my world’s mission.”

On her non-relationship with the other Fleetwood Mac members
Has she spoken to Buckingham since he left? “No.” Do you really think you’ll never appear on stage with him again? “Probably never.” Really? “Uh-uh,” she says, indicating a firm no.

She says people always ask the band: “‘Do you get along?’ We’d go: ‘Not really.’ They’d say: ‘Are you friends?’ and we’d go: ‘Not really.’ ‘Do you see each other when you’re not on tour?’ ‘Er, no.’ It has been like that since 1976.”

On men trying to dim her light
When her first solo album, the brilliant Bella Donna, topped the charts in 1981, she gave Buckingham a copy. He left it on the studio floor and never listened to it. “They were full-on jealous. And you know what? I should have cared less.” “They” as in the band members or the producers? “Oh, all of them. They hated that kind of confidence in a woman. People would say to me: ‘It would be very hard to be Mr Stevie Nicks.’ And I’m going: well, yeah, probably, unless you were just a really nice guy that was really confident in himself, not jealous of me, liked my friends, enjoyed my crazy life and had fun with it. And, of course, there are very few men like that. I’m an independent woman and am able to take care of myself, and that is not attractive to men.”

She’s not with Harry Styles and she’s not dating
Is she dating now? “I’m not going out with anyone. And I haven’t gone out with anyone in a long, long time. But I will say, I am always a romantic and I’m never averse to the fact that it is possible that you might turn a street corner and walk into somebody that just catches your eye, because it’s happened to me a million times. So, could I fall in love and run away with somebody at 72 years old? Yeah. It’s probably not gonna happen, but it’s possible.”

I ask about her friendship with Harry Styles. “Can I just say that Harry Styles is not my younger boyfriend,” she says – deadpan, but with a smile in her voice. “He is my friend. My very good friend.”

On Botox
We talk about what it is like for women to age in the public eye. “Oh God, the Botox,” she says. “Let me tell you, Botox only makes you look like you’re in a satanic cult. I only had it once and it destroyed my face for four months. I would look in the mirror and try and lift my eyebrow and go: ‘Oh, there you are, Satan’s angry daughter.’ Never again. I watch a lot of news and I see all the lady newscasters looking like Satan’s angry daughters, too.”

[From The Guardian]

There were so many other gems in this interview I didn’t include. She said when she was 50 she dated a 30-year-old guy but realized it wasn’t going to work because she didn’t want to live those 20 years over again. The stuff she said about men not wanting to be with an independent woman made me sad but it’s true. I keep telling myself I only need one guy though and he’s out there for me.

As for that story about her mom, I am so lucky not to have lost anyone yet, knock all the wood for that, but I appreciated how her mom comes to her in small moments with mom advice. “It’s the Gatorade!” I love my mom’s advice although it bugs me sometimes because it’s true and I don’t want to hear it. I’m sure I do the same thing to my kid every day.

So many women have stories about abortions like Stevie’s story. Her life would have been so different otherwise. Abortion is basic healthcare, it is a right and not a privilege that only rich women should have. I’m scared for the future of our country, I’m tired but I will fight for the next generation. Abortion rights have been eroded throughout the US at the state level, with this handmaid on the Supreme Court we are likely to lose them and our access to birth control. It’s a dark time in our country.

Here’s Stevie’s new song, “Show Them The Way.” All proceeds benefit Musicares. I come from a family of old school Democrats and this got me choked up. My mom lived through this too.

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27 Responses to “Stevie Nicks: ‘I absolutely know that my mom is around all the time’”

  1. Doodle says:

    After my mom died, I was painting in my studio. I felt her insisting that I call my cousin, whom I hadn’t spoken with in years. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was such a powerful feeling, and I knew it was my mom. I brushed it off and kept working, but it happened 2 more times. I finally called my cousin, and it turned out that her brother had commited suicide the day before.

    • Swack says:

      My father passed away from cancer in the house I grew up in and now live in. Every once in a while I smell the cigarette he smoked as I was growing up. I don’t smoke and it’s a brand that is no longer available where I love. He comes around when I most need him.

      • Noodle says:

        This gave me the feels this morning. My mom is slowly eroding away from Alzheimer’s. She’s mid-stage now, and we probably have another five years before it takes her, unless something else does. It’s heartbreaking to watch her just turn into something that isn’t her, and see that fire and that light dim. Part of me looks forward to seeing and feeling her spirit again one day, because I haven’t felt it in years. And that sounds selfish, I know, because physically she’s still present. Alzheimer’s is such a heinous disease.

      • Swack says:

        @noodle, sorry to hear about your mom. My mom passed away 7 years ago from Alzheimer’s. I watched it for 6 years and know how devastating it is to watch. Hang in there and am sending good vibes your way.

      • Noodle says:

        @swack, thank you for your kind words. It’s comforting knowing there are so many out there with stories like my mine, and yet, so sad that this happens so often and progress is slow.

      • Doodle says:

        Noodle, my younger sister has early onset Alzheimer’s. It is terrible watching her deteriorate. I feel for you with your mom.

  2. Becks1 says:

    The abortion – that’s been talked about in Stevie fan circles for years, speculation is that she had two, but definitely the one when she was with Don Henley – hence “there’s a heartbeat and it never really died” from Sara on the Tusk album.

    I love all these interviews she’s giving now and how open she is about her life. Her autobiography, if she ever gets around to writing it, is going to be epic. She’s been such a player in the music industry for so long, I feel like she has to know ALL THE DIRT.

    The part about the band not being friends is interesting and probably not entirely true, considering that Mick Fleetwood’s wife was her backup singer in the early 90s. I do imagine that John just does his own thing though and Christine is based in the UK, so she and Stevie probably aren’t hanging out a lot (I also think they went through a very hard experience together, between the breakups and the recording of Rumours, Stevie has said she and Christine used to hunker down in Stevie’s hotel room and cling to each other while John was roaming the halls screaming for Christine – so maybe its a survival method, to just be in the band together and then nothing else.)

    Lindsey’s always been a diva, so no surprise there. I’m mostly just surprised Stevie stayed with him as long as she did.

    Also, with the baby/abortion, its interesting she says it would have derailed Fleetwood Mac, when other rock stars did have babies, but I guess timing wise it makes sense – Fleetwood Mac was one of the biggest bands in the world and they weren’t going to take a hiatus so Stevie could have a baby. And then what, the baby stays with a nanny while she is off touring the world for years on end?

    She has said two things would have broken up Fleetwood Mac – her having a baby, and her affair with Mick Fleetwood (they cut it off so it wouldn’t break up the band.) I find that interesting. Fleetwood Mac as a band never really broke up, but its clear in this reincarnation that adding Stevie and Lindsey added a new level of volatility to the band, considering Lindsey is the one who walked away in 87.

  3. L says:

    Would love to have coffee with Stevie. She’s awesome!! Also, Joni Mitchell has a child when she was really young and put her up for adoption, similar reasons to Stevie but different story. Joni wrote about that in some of her songs

    • Chrissy says:

      I think I read that Joni and the daughter she gave up for adoption reconciled sometime in the 1990s. I’m glad it happened before all of Joni’s health issues and wonder if she has any grandchildren she could share some of her amazing life story with.

  4. ChillyWilly says:

    I have always believed that Buckingham was so very jealous of Stevie’s talent. Lindsey is a good musician and singer but he will never have the magic of Stevie. That kind of magic cannot be taught and Lindsey knew it and treated Stevie like sh!t because of it. He’s a misogynistic creep.

  5. Kaye says:

    Love her & her music. But, okay Botox one, but definitely face surgery. And she looks great!

    • Becks1 says:

      She’s def had a face lift or something, but she also wears a crap ton of makeup. Like I think her eyes look really heavy in the top pic, but if you look at it she’s wearing her eye makeup in such a way to give that effect. So prob a combo of makeup and some work.

      • Deb says:

        Becks, you’re so right about the heavy eye makeup. I saw a couple of backstage videos of Fleetwood Mac getting ready for a show and she was doing her own makeup. She was explaining her eye makeup technique and she said she picked it up from old film stars like Greta Garbo and the like. It worked on her when she was younger and especially for being on stage at that time. The heavy contouring in the crease is the problem. It just doesn’t work when we age and gravity kicks in.
        I’ve seen several pics of her where her makeup was done by a professional and the first thing you notice is how they softened the whole eye area. And she looked amazing.

        She’s probably, maybe had some work done but it’s subtle and very good work. She still looks like herself.

      • tmbg says:

        She’s worn her eye makeup that way for a couple of decades. It’s similar to what they used to do on Garbo. I’d probably change up the eye look but Stevie’s skin looks amazing. She never changes. ♥️

      • Becks1 says:

        She’s always worn her eye makeup heavy and dramatic but I think something has changed in how she contours or shapes her eyes, which makes it look like she has had more work than she probably actually has. (or the way she does her makeup just no longer “works” as she’s aging.)

      • Valerie says:

        She also uses La Mer. It’s 300 bucks for a tiny tin of that stuff!

      • Valerie says:

        She once said that she’s been doing her makeup the same way since she was sixteen. If you look closely at her eyes throughout the years, you’ll see she wasn’t kidding! It’s exactly the same and can sometimes look a little harsh on her now.
        Look at how many layers she puts on here, lol

    • Lizzie says:

      She looks wonderful, no matter how that happens.

  6. fani says:

    Your guy is out there and
    You will find him.

  7. teehee says:

    A confident and secure man is a hard find, true. I finally “accidentally” found one (I had given up really believing I could actually find one) and we are now 4,5 years together and discussing kids. I don’t know how many there are out there, but it feels like its only one handful at a time.

    Don’t accept anything less and make a clear picture of what you want- be specific- and you will get that. I had an image in my head of what I wanted (traits, looks, age, character etc) and I sincerely asked for that, and wound up getting just that.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      True dat – I have found it hard to date as I am a confident successful woman and many men are intimidated by that. Maybe one day..

      All the best to you and your man.

  8. souperkay says:

    What i do not understand about the religious argument against abortion is that god is omni/prescient/present/potent, god created all life on earth, therefore it follows god created the science of abortion, therefore god is not against abortion since god is the center of everything. this makes their entire god hates you for aborting nonsense, how, god is the center of everything, the creator, even abortion.

    I am not religious. I believe abortion is basic healthcare that should not be restricted, the government should have no say beyond making sure providers are trained and the facilities are safe, even though with medication abortion there is so much less needed which is why it should be so widely available. I am deeply saddened by women like ACB who cannot see basic truths because racism, ego, self involvement, vanity are blinding them. It’s not ACB’s business if i need an abortion. It’s not the government’s business, it’s between my doctor and me.

    • Amy Too says:

      We don’t make every other religious mandate/preference into laws, so I don’t understand what it is about abortion specifically that has to be criminalized, other than only women can get abortions and it’s a highly sexist and specific way to have control over them. Lying isn’t illegal, cheating isn’t illegal, divorce isn’t illegal, taking the Lord’s name in vain isn’t illegal, not honoring your parents isn’t illegal, premarital sex and cohabitating isn’t illegal. And for other religions, we haven’t made not eating Kosher illegal, or eating beef or pork illegal, or not covering your head in church/temple/mosque illegal. When people argue why abortion has to illegal or criminalized, they always site their religion, whether it’s their religious beliefs that life begins at conception and all embryos have souls placed their by God, or their religious restrictions against taking a life. We are not a theocracy. We are not an officially Christian country. We are not meant to mix religion and politics. Do they not notice that all of the other Christian religious based bans have been overturned? It’s unconstitutional to criminalize or ban homosexual sex, gay marriage, witchcraft, birth control, divorce, etc. We also no longer legalize husbands raping their wives and beating their children just because the Bible seems to okay those things.

  9. Valerie says:

    I love Stevie. I’m surprised she’s even acknowledging the abortion at all, let alone naming Henley, but I guess she feels ready to talk about it now? Good for her in any case. Trying to raise a kid, even with professional help, in that environment would’ve been a disaster for all involved. She isn’t the type to just dump the kid with a nanny.

    She wasn’t even really ready to give up cocaine in 1985: Her doctor told her that her next hit could be her last, but she was about to go on tour and couldn’t imagine doing it while sober, so she did a little bit less, just to get through it. Had it not been for that doctor, I think she would have gone on until her body gave out. :(

  10. Blueskies says:

    I love her and love seeing stories about her here. I admire her honesty and forthrightness but also her self-admitted fragility and mistakes. She is a true artist, a spellbinding poet. I’m a huge FM fan and I admit I indulge in the Nicks-Buckingham relationship, good and bad. It’s in the music forever but it’s good to know the truth of things as they are now and to hear it from Stevie.

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