Two weeks ago, we learned of Dominic West and Lily James’ affair, aka their Roman bangathon. They flew to Rome together and had a “dirty weekend.” Dominic and Lily then flew back to England, where she returned to her London home and he returned to his country home, where his wife and kids were staying. After that, Lily cancelled nearly all of her promotion for Netflix’s Rebecca remake, where she plays the second Mrs. de Winter to Armie Hammer’s Maxim de Winter. I thought it was weird because it would have been easy enough to use Armie as a deflection shield in any and all joint interviews. Except that now it’s looking like Lily probably had a good reason for cancelling all of those interviews – she didn’t want anyone to look too closely at her relationship with Armie Hammer. Maybe. Is Lily also one of the reasons why Armie’s marriage fell apart?
Dominic West is not the only married man with whom Lily James has found her name intertwined. Sources close to Rebecca co-star Armie Hammer and his wife say their marriage went into a nose-dive in the fall of 2019 after she found passionate texts and letters from a mystery woman who signed herself ‘Adeline’.
Adeline’s’ real identity is a mystery. But intriguingly, around the same time as the apparent dalliance, Armie was shooting the movie Rebecca, released on Netflix Wednesday, with co-star Lily James. While her Mrs. de Winter character in the adaptation of Daphne du Maurier’s classic novel has no first name, James was referred to as Adeline on the movie call sheets and on her trailer, sources claim. Adeline also happens to be the name of a character in another du Maurier novel, Hungry Hill.
This week sources on the set told the Mail that Lily James seemed to be flirting with her then very married co-star Hammer even though she knew the father-of-two was happily married to Elizabeth Chambers, 38. At the time, former Downton star James’ relationship with her longtime boyfriend, actor Matt Smith, 37, had been cooling and observers said the beauty appeared to be ‘smitten’ with Hammer from the moment she laid eyes on him.
Said one source: ‘She was not subtle. And he was into it, no doubt about it. She was touching him constantly, giving him long smoldering looks. While he was filming, he chose to have weeks away in the English countryside instead of returning to see his family who were also in the UK. This is all very typical of him.’
Things finally came crashing down when Chambers discovered passionate messages between Hammer and the woman who called herself Adeline, the source said. Hammer also had a number saved in his phone under the same name. Chambers was ‘devastated’, sparking a downward spiral that ended with Hammer and Chambers jointly announcing they were divorcing after 10 years of marriage in July.
Hammer and James began filming Netflix’s adaptation of the Gothic novel Rebecca in the UK in June of 2019, shooting in Devon, Dorset and Hertfordshire. When filming wrapped in August, Hammer and his family returned to Los Angeles but he returned to London alone weeks later. Following his return to Los Angeles things really reached the point of no return, after Chambers discovered messages between Armie and ‘Adeline,’ the source said.
‘Elizabeth was devastated, heartbroken,’ they explained. ‘But they had 13 wonderful years together. She wasn’t about to throw away her marriage for one indiscretion. She is an amazing woman. She doesn’t deserve this. You couldn’t ask for a more stunning devoted wife and she’s a great mom to their two little ones.’
The Mail says that Armie and Elizabeth tried couples therapy and possibly could have kept it together, but the pandemic screwed everything up. And then when Armie left the Cayman Islands after several months of lockdown, “he went to Miami and accidentally sent Chambers a sexually explicit text from yet another woman that she knew wasn’t meant for her, the insider said.” MESSY AND SLOPPY! My God. So, yeah… it sounds like Lily and Armie had some kind of torrid on-set affair which was probably still happening after Rebecca completed production, and then she started banging Dominic West on the Rome set of their film too. WHEW. Girl, get yourself together.
Photos courtesy of Netflix.
What? Dailymail gives absolutely no evidence but that they were giving each other ‘smoldering looks’? This is gross, Lily is now to blame over Armie cheating on his wife with other women? Yeah, I’m not going to pile on this woman without any evidence and make her to blame for other men.
There have been rumors about these two since they started shooting. And the Dailymail had the exclusive about Timberlake and Biel’s new baby. They do have sources. I think this time it’s Elizabeth Chamber’s circle.
Yeah, definitely Elizabeth’s circle, that whole stunning wife line gave it away! She is stunning, but come on, lol.
To be fair I would also mention how stunning and beautiful I am if would leak stuff to the media:D
@Molly LOL yeah me too
Armie Hammer is the worst. if there’s any blame to be assigned, it’s all going to him.
Armie Hammer, Dominic West, and Matt Smith?! Chris Evans is starting to look suspect by association.
I’m beginning to think they casually hooked up while he was in London (not that he wen there to see her) and then she convinced him to do that ice cream stroll because that’s totally not his thing. But they have a lot of mutual friends and maybe he even thought best to do it so she didn’t get slut shamed in the press for a casual hookup. Or for some sympathy after the ‘Matt cheated on her with Claire Foy’ stories. But she was playing coy with whether they were dating or still dating during early press promotion and now it’s pretty obvious that was not the case.
I am sorry, but it is the married person who made the vows. I am assuming she didn’t make anyone have sex with her. BUT, I am also loathed to comment on the married person too. The media/internet is used as a weapon these days – ‘do as a want or I will destroy you’ – none of us know what the dynamic of a marriage is, regardless of what the ‘sources’ say. I don’t even care if the leak to the media comes via a family court document,becuase I have seen enough of those through to a judgment to know they can be an intrgral PR move with no truth, or at least proof, to back them up. If the marriage is over get a divorce and do it as quietly as you .
I agree that the married individual has to shoulder the blame, but what kind of an immoral idiot contributes to the downfall of someone else’s marriage? And it sounds like at she’s at least 2 for 2. Wow.
Done with the lot of them.
Disagree. Just because your not married doesnt mean you shouldnt be an as*hole and bang married men.
Nope blame goes both ways. She could have respected his marriage and shut down that ‘relationship” before it got going. That’s what a principled person would do. A person with honor, which apparently she is not nor has none. And these men….ugh. At least Evans was not in a relationship at the time.
Ok, to put things into perspective here. GENERALLY, a married man who cheats is one who was already unhappy, and when sharing stories GENERALLY has this same sob story about how lonely they are, how their wives no longer respect or fuck them, how they feel they are used as a work horse to keep bringing in money, blah blah blah….and some poor sucker of a lost and lonely insecure girl will think, “I could make him happy” only to realize shes the tool! Lol. So yeah, its not like someone actively goes out hunting married guys, they got groomed into it, why else would you be so public about your dalliance? Yeah, shes an idiot, but she likely deserves some sympathy for being insecure. And the married guys, at least Armie is out of his marriage (accepted the consequences), but Dominic deserves a fucking kick up the arse!
Only one part broke a marriage vow, but there are issues of judgment with a person who chooses to get involved with a married person. There are better ways to be. Plenty of people, including myself, would be turned off if a married man pursued her. What a loser. However, there are other women who find it attractive and engage. You can get a pass once if that turns out to be the love of your life, but to repeatedly be the mistress of your coworkers is a substantial personality problem.
Ya and according to DeuxMoi, this is totally false. It wasn’t her. I believe that insta account over the daily fail
Yikes. Both Hammer and West are major douches, but James doesn’t seem to have a great character as well. Banging one married man is one thing, but banging two?! No, that’s not cool.
Wasn’t she leaking to the press that she was worried about Smith and Claire Foy?!
LOL. Girl, you’re not any better.
Agreed! While the men are the ones who took the vows, she seems to be actively courting married men. Not a good look.At. ALL!
Being a knowing participant in an affair is pretty gross. Not as gross as being married and having an affair, but still gross.
Sounds to me like LJ has some severe self-destructive commitment issues.
Generally, when a woman seeks the attention of married men, it’s because they are “safe” and “exciting” at the same time. They get a thrill out of the win over another woman, they are excited by the sneaking around, and there is no risk of long-term attachment.
Lily, you need some major therapy, girl.
I’ll say this: every time there’s a story on this site about cheating, I read the comments and am pretty dismayed by the extreme judgment and condemnation. Calling people “trash”, “gross”, “without honor/character”, etc. Human beings are complicated and they make mistakes and bad decisions. I cheated on my fiancé when I was 25. I had an affair for an entire year. Do I think it was a good decision? No. Do I wish I had done that differently? Yes. Do I regret the pain and mess I caused? Yep. It happened, it’s something I did in my past, but it does not mean I’m without honor/character/integrity. I’m a good person who was going through a very rough time, and handled it badly. You all don’t need to be so quick to condemn people and act like cheating defines a person’s entire being and soul. Sure, sometimes those people are just selfish, but very often there are other issues going on that would benefit from therapy. 🤷♀️
This is kind of weird since they had zero chemistry in the actual film.
I dont care much about what’s happening with Lily and her co-stars. If they didnt want to get caught they wouldn’t have been out in the open with their canoodling or sending explicit texts or whatever.
I’m curious about the movie though. Rebecca is my favorite book and the trailer for this looked interesting. I wonder why they keep trying to remake this book though. It doesnt age well. I passed on signing up for Netflix again just to see it, but I might if people recommend it. Otherwise, I’ll just curl up with the paperback I keep on my nightstand.
They keep trying to remake it because Hitchcock had a big hit with it, and no one has been able to top it since. The trouble is that these folks have a superficial understanding of what the book is about, and it shows in the films that they make from it. Re-read the book.
I think anyone trying to remake Hitchcock is going to have a problem. His movies were just so atmospheric. I like the original Rebecca movie a lot, and I love the book, but I don’t really have any interest in seeing this remake.
I saw it last night. It passed the time ok while I drank my wine, but the Hitchcock film is much better. I do get irritated when they keep making classics over and over, but if they didn’t, we wouldn’t have Colin Firth as Mr Darcy or Ruth Wilson as Jane Eyre.
Busyann, you’d be better off rereading the book again. 😉 This is one of those remakes that has no real reason to exist—the key roles are majorly miscast and it seriously lacks the relentless ratcheting tension of the book or Hitchcock version.
Agreed! It was awkward to watch. No chemistry whatsoever. Hammer seemed to be far more in love with the mustard suit he kept wearing than James’ character LOL.
@Snowslow – totally agree with your Rebecca review. Watched it last night and they have zero chemistry. Honestly I’ve never thought she was a talented actress (she seems very flat), but enjoyed him in Call Me By Your Name. They both suck for banging on set when he was very married.
@TQ Well, we don’t know if she did. This seems to have escalated quite fast without a lot of great evidence. I’m not very confortable assuming things happened just because some sleazy character reported something.
Yes, James is so flat (she spoiled War and Peace for me) but this film revealed her to also be quite unskilled. The directing mustn’t have been great because Hammer doesn’t do much either. Nevertheless, since the film focuses on her, she had to deliver more than 21rst century teenagery tics.
@Snowslow – fair enough (although I’d actually been following rumours about their on set affair for some months.)
And the director is Ben Wheatley, who’s been really hyped up for a while. But I saw High Rise starring Tom Hiddleston back in 2015 and thought it was a major disappointment. So agreed that the direction of this remake didn’t help matters, particularly when compared to Hitchcock!
@TQ really?! Maybe when there is smoke there is fire and it’s always the least expected (James is so vanilla to me). Yes High Rose was a big flop wasn’t it?
I was literally thinking the same exact thing. I believe their decent enough actors that if they were actually sexually into each other, it would have come across a smidge in that vapidly empty movie.
Historically your not suppose to bang your co-star whilst your filming because it ruins the sexual chemistry on screen. It’s like the chemistry comes from all that sexual tension that builds up, which gets released after they bang. Maybe the were banging from the beginning.
hehe that’s some Joey Tribiani acting advice right there 🙂
Ha! That’s an interesting way to look at it, and as Snazzy said that’s a total Joey Tribiani thing to say!
Oh yes, joey was a wise man, lol!
Omg- this part. Their chemistry was so tepid that I found these affair rumours confusing.
Thank you. I saw the movie. Liked the plot but the execution was meh. Those two were so wooden it was unbelievable. I said somewhere else that the other actors had more live and carisma in them. Sometimes I wonder how can such beautiful people be so bland. He is a very handsome man. Tall. Deep voice. And yet… he does nothing for me.
As for she is doing with her life: it’s hers and she has to take responsibility but I would say that with all the available, single men she goes and chooses old, married ones it’s just stupid.
It’s not just Lily though. She the single one. These men are the ones who had wives and kids. I think if we’re going to be ripping her a new one, we need to be harder on the actual cheating men in the situation.
I agree. While she has blame too, let’s not forget these men have a responsibility to their wife, kids and their family. No is forcing them into it.
You are so right about this! The men are the ones who were/are married, not her.
No. I agree with Lola upthread. I absolutely look to the married one as the offender, but I’m sorry. This chick seems to be targeting married men. Two men/one movie?! Please don’t get me wrong. The men do not get a pass from me on this. Absolutely disgusting behavior on their part. Total lack of self control and awareness. But twice on the one film? And how about the report of her calling West’s wife to assure that poor woman that the reporters got it wrong?! Wow. No. Screw her. There’s something wrong with her.
“Targeting” married men? I find your word choice interesting. These men aren’t victims, and they aren’t being “targeted”. They’re grown ass adults who know full well they’re breaking their vows and hurting their families. And if they weren’t cheating with Lily, they’d be cheating with someone else. That doesn’t make her a good or a moral person, but let’s not pretend that she’s specifically the reason Dominic or Armie cheated (if indeed the latter did cheat). The problem is the spouse’s unwillingness to stick to his vows.
Reminds me of January jones, she’s been caught with a few married men. Director of x-men who refused to do press for the film the rumors were so bad, that chef bobby flay I think? she called after being in a car accident but claimed they had just met. Maybe she likes to be rescued but he’s famous for being a cheater his wife flew a cheater sign behind a plane while he was getting a star on the hollywood walk of fame. What a bitchy bitter thing to do-lol
This reeks of sexism. Is she going to be blamed for every male co-stars behaviour? “She was not subtle. And he was into it, no doubt about it. She was touching him constantly, giving him long smoldering looks.” UGH.
No, it doesn’t.
We are plenty hard on the men. Both Armie and Dom have been discussed at length on this site, and many others. Nobody is taking the blame away from them.
But she is ALSO very, very fair game for blame too. It takes two. And it’s one thing if she didn’t know they are married, but this is 100% wrong.
It is not just her fault, but it definitely is in part her fault.
I completely agree.
I don’t think it’s sexism or slut shaming. If she was banging a string of single Chris Evans’ I’d be the first in line yelling “you go girl!”
Banging a string of married men with children (it’s not like Google isn’t a thing) is just sus.
Six kids whose dad no longer lives with them: it’s very sad. The men are such douches, it would probably have happened sooner or later w/somebody. But I agree, she’s not done anything to be proud of either.
We don’t know that she did though so the accusation would make it both sexist and slutshaming.
@Myra…my thoughts on these two stories precisely. “We don’t know that she did though so the accusation would make it both sexist and slut=shaming.”
I’ve been doing a “Swedish death clean” type thing and tho’ celibate by choice for more than a quarter of a century (!!!) whilst reviewing my diaries as a very young woman in the ’70’s…baby I’m here to tell you I was looking for love in ALL the wrong places. And I looked hard, and I looked long, and I looked EVERYWHERE!! I have since shredded those diaries. In the fog of distance, I read names, and I cannot recall what any of them looked like, smelled like or whether or not they were nice people. One I knew was married, and I went for it anyway. In my diary, I shrugged (with words). My mum told me ‘oh, you’re so lucky you can be with anyone you want so you do anyone and everyone you want and you’ll be so happy’. I believed her, and did. But I am not her, in the end I was very unhappy..and did not find the love I was looking for, because sex and love are two very different things…….but I explored my sexuality thoroughly before understanding that. And my self-esteem was so low, I totally allowed myself to be used…
I hear you: Reading this felt like I was reading a diary of my own. Between the ages of 19 and 21 I fell in a downward spiral. Although I didn’t set out to hurt anyone, I made mistakes and was selfish. I was in a very dark place and I’m happy I got out. While I am very much still a liberal and open-minded person, I am more careful with my choices and very conscious not to actively or even unintentionally hurt anyone. It was around the same time that I fell victim to some very nasty rumours. It’s why I’m sensitive of people slutshaming others. It can really destroy a young girl/woman, on top of whatever they are going through at the moment which caused them to spiral.
I agree. This is so unbelievably sexist and just shows, woman are treated worse by the press in these situations. I can’t believe this is still happening in 2020.
Right? She will be blamed for every relationship breakdown of her male co-stars from here on out. This how the DailyMail is btw, of course they just happen to find an anonymous source from set who witnessed smouldering looks being exchanged.
Agree that the Daily Fail is definitely framing this story with sexism and totally slut shaming her. They are both to blame for banging while he was married.
The Daily Mail is the worst. They are so incredibly sexist, blame the woman all the time. Their stories on domestic violence or rape victims are always framed as a way that the woman brought it on herself or didn’t get help sooner so too bad. As for James, she’s such a bland actress and this is the most she’s been talked about. The thing is she’s a young, wholesome looking ( not reality), pretty blonde and doesn’t look like a “ home wrecker”. All it takes is one story about low self esteem, lack of confidence, introspection to turn this around for her.
It doesn’t “reek of sexism”, it reeks of two selfish, sleazy, immoral jerks who between them have hurt and humiliated two wives and their children. I’ve been cheated on several times in the past and in each case the woman involved knew the man they were dallying with had a girlfriend. Both are equally to blame and shame on them, it’s appalling behaviour.
@ Silver Charm Isn’t there a saying that you can tell when two actors boned because their onscreen chemistry is gone?!:D
Lol! That makes so much sense!
I always fail to see the chemistry between actual real life couples on screen. Guess that’s the reason.
haha yes this made me think of that Friends episode, where Chandler knew his gf hadn’t cheated on him with her co-star because they still had tons of chemistry, but then one night…the chemistry was gone!
Oh, is that where I got that from?:D
It’s the Tribianni rule!
Not the case with Bogie and Bacall.
Or Leslie Howard and Merle Oberon. 😉
Ammie is so dumb! The GQ interview and failing cheating 101..There was a story about his wife and him fighting at her bday party because he brought a side piece too. To think he blamed it on the Cayman Islands and “lack of diversity” at his kid”s school I think Lili went on a year after things got rocky with Matt. So Messy!
Me thinks that GQ article was the last straw for his wife and she decided to show the world what really happened between them.
He was extremly self-absorbed in that article, I felt like slapping him myself. Can’t imagine what his wife was thinking.
Yes, she’s been pretty decent and controlled so far. His hand on Josh Lucas’s thigh pap set-up was cringe, as was the pap appointment with Rumer . He wants it to be known he’s so over the marriage.
I mean, I’m all for ladies getting some ass but maybe keep it to single men, Lily? She could get any man she wants…why choose dudes with wives and kids?
I had a friend in college who only dated married men. I couldn’t understand it. She explained its fun with no long-term outcomes because most of the time they won’t leave their wives. Kind of like women who date prisoners, IMHO.
Maybe Lily is like her?
I think all this stuff was sparked off by Matt Smith reportedly cheating on her and their breakup.
Love how that article lays ZERO responsibility for the affair at the married man whose marriage is what makes it an “affair”.
Lily james is single.
Is she maybe not making great relationship choices for herself? Sure.
But she is not responsible for either marriage, as she is not a party to either marriage.
Take it up with the cheating husbands.
Exactly. She may be an a**hole for sleeping with married men, but I hate that we are still a society that makes women responsible for men’s bad behavior. These men are not powerless against flirting and smouldering looks. They can say no. There’s an idea – don’t sleep with your co-star when she flirts with you because you have a wife and kids.
as well this very website used to comment on this marriage – that it was widely known as open, and he liked it rough.
LILY. I feel like she’s my little sister making bad choices. Come on Rose! Get it together girlfriend!
Now Armie is way better looking than Dominic. Except he was ALSO MARRIED. Come on Lily!! Stick with Chris Evans!
Also, Armie is a big dummy and I feel sorry for his wife and kids. These men are not being seduced. They are just as much at fault—MORE because they’re the married ones.
Pretty sure Evans was just a ONS that got caught by the paps after they got tipped off. Not sure that had ever any chance to become something more
Before the Rome pics got out, there was a story that she tried to fix things with Matt Smith after the evans thing.
No. Tell your lil’ sis to go find herself another SINGLE man as messy as her, but kindly stay MILES away from the Best Chris. Thanks but no thanks.
Based on that last quote I’m sure Elizabeth leaked all this herself.
Maybe she’s doing the wives a favor. These men are cads. If the wives didn’t know before, now they know.
Oh, she’s selfless like that, right?
Hmm is she the posh Miranda Lambert? Time will tell.
That’s who I thought of too! She seems to have the same type as Miranda – married!
There’s been cheating rumors about Armie for a long time, right? Almost sounds like he wanted to get caught, to get out of his marriage, rather than just be an adult and end it.
Well at least we know she has a type…
Arnie is the definition of a guy who was born on third base and thinks he hit a home run
I don’t think it’s sexist to lay half the blame on Lily for engaging in affairs with married men. It’s not feminist to sleep with another woman’s husband, sorry!
That said, there’s no evidence of her affair with Armie Hammer and this feels like a pile-on.
It feels very piley to me too.
Reminds me a little of the Jennifer Lawrence / Chris Pratt situation
Agreed. After all James was seen being told a secret and riding a scooter with West (who does seem like a horny puppy all the time but that’s neither here nor there) while nonchalantly checking her phone. Not saying there was nothing there but here there is even less evidence.
Woah! I want to watch Rebecca now.
Annnnnd this right here. Methinks this might be a stunt to get more people to watch the movie (not that there’s anything wrong with wanting to watch the movie). But I do think the Dominic West stuff was genuinely messy and real, and this happens to be at a time when this movie is coming out and Armie Hammer is going through a messy divorce himself. If there were any time to capitalize, now would be it.
Hey Lily – why not try going after the single dudes for a change.
Wtf was with the Chris Evans thing?!
She was photographed doing coke in a park with Gemma Chan, Dominic Cooper, and one other person whose name I don’t remember. Supposedly, the Evans thing was a PR stunt to draw attention away from the coke photos.
Jack Whitehall and Billie Piper were also there.
Billie Piper, I think?
It was billie piper. I remember those photos. I don’t think Jack Whitehall was there considering he’s gemma’s ex.
I don’t get it. Matt Smith is the whole package. I would not be tempted by those married dudes to wreck a thing with Matt Smith. But I’m reacting like I reacted to Colin Firth’s wife’s cheating: Why?? You have Colin Firth at home! Of course, I don’t really know Matt Smith, so maybe he’s the worst boyfriend ever. But he’s on my fantasy football team of British boyfriends, along with Hugh Grant. These other guys? Meh. And I can’t remember which Chris is Chris Evans. So many Chrises.
I know a girl who went to acting school with Matt Smith. She said he’s lovely. So yeah, don’t get Lily running off to be with two douche canoes when you have Matt at home.
Except she and Matt Smith broke up ages ago. Isn’t he dating Claire Foy now?
Maybe because he is a a cheater. It has been widely speculated that he cheated on Lilly with Claire Foy. I think most of these people have open marriages or some sort of agreement until things get public or messy.
@chimes there’re rumors he’s involved with Emilia Clarke but don’t know either the level of involvement or truth to the stories.
I love Matt Smith, some people don’t get the appeal, but on screen he comes across as very charming and sexy. I thought he was hot in the crown. But I did hear he cheated on lily a lot, so I don’t blame her if it ended,
I love Matt Smith. I’m a Doctor Who fan and he was always so kind and gracious with fans, especially the kids. He always came across as a lovely guy.
I heard several rumours he cheated on her constantly. I know there’s a lot of Matt Smith fans here.
Hugh Grant was soooooo charming yesterday in The Undoing
Maybe Colin Firth isn’t as good as our fantasies?? Maybe everyone gets boring?
To heck with all these hater. You go and get yours and if a man can’t keep his penis in his pants that’s on him. Don’t stop being you just because other people can’t be themselves.
I mean sure, who gives a shit about how all of this affects the wives and children of these men, so long as Lily gets hers, right?
No. The men are the cheaters, but she’s not better for fucking married men, just because she’s single.
@mrsbanjo 100% this. When a woman knowingly gets romantic with a married man, she is just as culpable as the man. Armie is a complete sh!t for cheating, and Lily should have backed the hell off. If I’m gonna play the sisterhood card, I also won’t play it for Lily “getting hers”. I’ll play it for Armie’s wife who didn’t deserve such a public and humiliating end to her marriage.
I don’t think any of the six kids who no longer have a daddy at home would agree with you. I don’t think any woman whose marriage has been wrecked by a cheating spouse would agree with you. Please don’t equate kindness and responsibility in choosing a bed partner with selfish opportunism. It’s not ok, and it’s not sexist or misogynist to say it’s NOT ok to cheat with a married parent.
I’m torn between thinking this person’s referencing the book/film (since Rebecca unapologetically had a lot of affairs), is paid by James’ agency, or is just toxic.
@Nikki: Except you said it yourself: the cheating spouse wrecked the marriage. Armie, for example, has been known to cheat on his wife before Lily (if he even hooked up with Lily in the first place). Lily didn’t “wreck” his marriage because that marriage was wrecked the moment Armie (or Dominic, or whoever) decided not to uphold his vows. Doesn’t make Lily a good person if she knowingly hooked up with a married man, but we need to keep the blame squarely where it belongs.
I don’t agree with that. statement. If her being her is participating in destroying someone else mariage than she does not have a lot of values and principles. they are billions of single men in this world WHY entertain someone who has a partner ? We all agree that the blame is mostly on these men, I don’t think her or you would like something like this to be done to you.
Obviously, you’ve never had your family ripped apart by infidelity. I have. My father cheated on my mother with her BEST FRIEND. It tore two families apart and wrecked lives for years after. Normally, I’m all for a single girl getting some, but get some with a SINGLE man.
Yes, married guys need to keep it in their pants, but Lily holds some responsibility here too. If this story is true then Lily AND Armie’s affair broke down a marriage with small children. Not cool.
@H: I’m sorry you went through that. Your situation sounds different in the sense that your mom’s best friend knew your family, and likely knew that her presence at her best friend’s home wouldn’t be suspicious. So they (both your mom’s best friend and your dad) took advantage of that trust. We have no evidence that Lily has that same kind of close friendship with Dominic or Arnie’s wife. (We also don’t even have any evidence that she cheated with Armie.)
My mother ran away with my Dad’s best friend when I was 4 months old….
If I’d know that when she was telling me how lucky I was to be able to ‘sleep around’ (see above) I may not have taken her advice so deeply to heart. I did though, it did untold damage to my already shaky self-esteem, and took years to repair.
Judge not lest you be judged….remember always, we are on the outside looking in through the curtains. What we “know” we may not know at all……..
But Sigmund, I don’t think you need to be personal friends with the woman in order to consider her feelings, If you know a guy is married, living with his wife and kids, just find another guy. I’m so surprised saying this makes me “toxic” or a hater; I don’t feel like I’m either. I definitely hold the cheating spouse to be the more guilty, but that doesn’t make it right to hook up with a married guy. It’s not being sexist to be considerate of another human being’s feelings, especially another woman’s.
No one is being a hater by saying it’s inappropriate to sleep with a married man. And no one is solely blaming Lily, either – it takes two to tango.
But she should get it on with any SINGLE guy she wants. She’s pretty, wealthy, famous. She can have any man she wants. She needs to raise her standards and find someone who is just devoted to her. Cheating should never be applauded.
Sleeping with a married man behind his wife’s and children’s backs is heinous. This isn’t about “all’s fair in love and war” and “you get some Lily!”, it’s being mature and moral enough to understand how hurtful and humiliating the repercussions are. It’s called respect. Your comment is cheap, unfeeling and tawdry.
A cheated on spouse
Wait – what happened with Chris Evans then? They were photographed together in mid summer, right? Was that just a (really short) fling?
Isn’t Hammer’s wife a Trumpster?
I really don’t care, do U?
Yes she is.
She wore a really red outfit and in the same post reminded people to vote on her IG. It was that “barmaid” one.
I only have 2 things to say:
1) Rebecca was a stupid film.
2) Both West and Hammer are/were married, they were the ones with the responsibility to uphold their commitment to their respective wives. James might not be a saint, but she’s the only single, attachment-free, one in both these entanglements.
I love a woman who won’t let her pussy rest, but we stop with the YAS QUEEN-ing for one who is unethically promiscuous? Yes, it’s Armie and Dominic who took the vow and she absolutely should not bear the responsibility of being “a home wrecker”, AND ALSO sleeping with people in closed monogamous relationships reveals poor character.
I’m not saying it’s sus that there’s a lot of new names on here all saying versions of the same thing, but I think someone’s working overtime to change the narrative. And I agree with you, it’s ridiculous that just because she didn’t personally make promises that means she has no responsibility or agency over who she has sex with.
Yeah, I mean those dudes are really scummy for cheating on their wives, but lily is practicing some seriously poor judgment. She’s a pretty woman, go have fun with single dudes! I’m sure she has tons of options.
I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt with Dominic because I thought, well he could’ve misrepresented his relationship with his wife and told her they’re separated. However, IF this is true, it looks like a whole big, “oh no girl, what are you doing?”
The quotes about smoldering looks is just stupid. That’s not a measurable thing, get out of here. “She’s flirting with him!” The framing is very “this harlot is coming on to this married man and caused him to cheat!” He was probably cheating before this. Lily didn’t “cause” anything.
I don’t get it – two married men got involved with a mistress and the mistress gets all the flack?
She’s not a “mistress”, that denotes being a sort of “kept woman” and I hate the term. She was a sex partner, interfering in two marriages. Furthermore if you’ve read all the comments she’s not the only one getting flack, both men are getting loads of flack. In any illicit affair both partners share equal blame and the fact that both these dudes have wives and children yet willingly entered into an affair with her is sickening.
I don’t understand wth is wrong with her since her breakup with Matt Smith. I mean two married men ? She doesn’t seems to be having principles. She will regret this the day another woman to the same thing to her.
I agree, when I was young and dumb (er) I had an affair with a married man. It lasted a while and we eventually ended up being together. You’ll never guess how we ended? I hurt many people and it took me many years to see that. I vowed never to intentionally hurt another woman again, even though I was never the one to “make the vows”.
I mean everybody makes mistakes at least you feel guilty about it and will never do it again. Some people don’t even feel guilty about it.
How? Did he go back to his wife or did he cheat on you with someone else too?
If this it true, she should evaluate why she doesn’t feel as if she deserve a whole relationship with a free man. However, the actual “cheating” is mainly on these married men. Lily is doing herself a disservice. The men are doing their wives a family a disservice.
I agree – if there is a pattern there, she needs to get some therapy and figure out why she is doing that.
And both of those men need to figure out why they felt entitled to cheat, and were willing to hurt their spouse and their families.
I agree with you, NicDix ; these don’t seem like self-loving choices, and cancelling interviews isn’t a plus for future professional opportunities.
There’s been really, really loud rumours about both West and Hammer being serial cheaters long before they met James. West all but officially confirmed he’s not monogamous ages ago while promoting The Affair, and Hammer had been increasingly indiscreet for a couple of years.
James shouldn’t be hooking up with such messy men, but the idea she’s somehow to blame for their marriage problems when she’s just one of their many, many hook-ups is kind of ridiculous. I’m very certain both their wives knew exactly what they were married to before she entered the picture. Hammer’s marriage in particular seems to have also had an absolute barrage of other issues on top of his cheating, so I don’t even think that was the major issue there.
So you feel that Lily isn’t part of the blame but the wives who were hurt and cheated on are. That’s messed up.
I mean, in a way, yes. There’s only two people in that marriage. I don’t agree that the wives likely “knew” what they were getting into (denial isn’t just a river in Egypt), but Armie has definitely cheated before. Lily didn’t seduce him into doing something he didn’t want to do (if they even got together at all). And at the end of the day, his wife is going to have to either decide whether she will accept his behavior or not. Ideally, he wouldn’t be a cheating pr*ck and would respect his vows, but that clearly isn’t happening. So yeah, it falls on the wife to decide what she’ll put up with. It sucks.
Do you also blame wives who don’t leave abusive spouses? There’s plenty of reasons cheated-on spouses (male or female) decide to stay with cheaters, sometimes involving gaslighting, more lies, fear, coercion, etc. To say the wife is “iN a WaY” to blame for a husband cheating is ridiculous. What makes “Lily James did nothing wrong” the hill you want to die on?
Has anyone watched this new adaptation of Rebecca? The screenshots are making it look miscast and mis-characterized. Maxim is supposed to be an older, sophisticated silver fox, right? There’s not supposed to be anything really sexy about the couple, and these photos are showing the opposite of that. Maxim married the 2nd Mrs. Dewinter because she was a plain, shy wallflower…because she was the polar opposite of his first wife, Rebecca.
I haven’t watched this movie. I only know the 1940 version with Laurence Olivier. But the screenshots are either misleading or the filmmakers have messed with the characters.
It’s supposed to be an updated version – “more feminist” – than the first version. So add a torrid sex scene (which is everything but) and a very sharp change in behaviour for the new Mrs. de Winter suddenly, who is supposed to become a woman when she defends her -very problematic -husband. The nonsense is real.
And it clearly shows how someone misses the incredibly sharp and poignant feminism of the first version: when she agrees to marry him, in Hitchcock’s version he says, “now you can pour me my coffee. Two lumps of sugar, you have to get used to it now”. Bam. In one sentence, the whole thing is set. And it is also about how you marry a man who sees you as a version of his own fantasies about women and how he has to symbolically kill that version to see the real woman he married. It’s about female erasure in marriage etc, which is so well portrayed in the first version… Nothing is ominous in the new one, neither is it sexy. All the marks are missed basically. Sadly it’s not even a hate watch for me.
Thank you for this! Well written. The 1940 Hitchcock version is one of my favorite films of all time. I don’t think I’m going to bother with watching this one.
Normally I would incite you yo watch and make up your own mind, but my husband and I got so bored it prompted him to make the decision of not watching more mindless crap LOL! And he played the original Rebecca yesterday as a palate cleanser… He was really annoyed, even more than me!
Interestingly, Lawrence Olivier hated the idea of Joan Fontaine playing the second Mrs. DeWinter. He wanted his then wife, Vivian Leigh, to have the role and fought long and hard to get it for her, but was turned down because Leigh was just too gorgeous to play a mousy little thing. Olivier’s obvious disdain for Fontaine is quite evident in the film and he treats her very coldly throughout.
@Jaded I don’t really agree that you see contempt for Joan Fontaine. He was too good of an actor for it. You see a bit of a patronising attitude and a troubled mind that cannot be at rest. An up and down personality typical of an abuser. He’s actually great and Fontaine is marvellous – pretty, naive and eager to please, fearful and excitable… She is not mousy, she is “the girl next door”.
@ Suz-don’t bother. I love the classic version of Rebecca and this one won’t do it for you. There are some actors that take the understated portrayal as not doing anything, when it’s actually very strategic information being given about a character. Seeing the new version just underscores how well done the original version actually was.
@Snoslow – it’s not just my opinion, I read an article many years ago on Hitchcock and how difficult he found it working with Olivier because of his anger about him not choosing Vivian Leigh, and his outright disregard of Joan Fontaine as the correct choice. I’m just stating historical fact.
Why anyone would cast Hammer for this beats me. In his best roles, Olivier played men who held—and battled—dark secrets. Hammer’s persona is nowhere near that reticent and sinister.
She’s like the British version of Miranda Lambert lol, all she has to do now is marry a random cop now. How messy.
I think she’s more like Sienna Miller.
agreed–she definitely gives me Sienna Miller vibes.
I feel like there’s a lot more going on with Lily than is being addressed. She seemingly had a solid thing with Matt Smith until the end of 2019. Then they broke up during speculation that he was cheating with Claire Foy. Meanwhile, she was apparently cheating with Armie. In June, Matt Smith gave an interview about his socially distanced play with Claire Foy where he went on and on about not being able to touch and kiss Claire Foy. Shortly after the interview came out Lily was seen drinking and possibly doing coke in a park. In July, Lily is spotted hooking up and going for ice cream with Chris Evans. She allegedly got back together with Matt sometime after that, but they also allegedly broke up shortly before she hooked up West in Rome. I think she was caught with both Evans and West on purpose to make Matt jealous. There’s no way that Lily just happened to get caught that many times during a pandemic. Drugs also explain why all these things seemed like a good idea.
What is this thing? I am so surprised with all this that I went to the Daily Fail to see “the coke pictures”. I mean, she may be doing coke for all I know but those images don’t show her doing drugs at all. They are all chatting in a very public park with a few other famous actors whose names I don’t know. Do you really think she’d be doing coke in front of everyone (especially since Covid19 parks are full here in London because it’s the only way people can hang out together)? This is feeling more and more like a pile on, or an example of why you should never call the paps, for whatever reason, if that’s the case with her. I can quickly turn on you if you’re not a Kardashian.
This ! I have said in previous posts I believe Lily is going through a tough breakup with Matt Smith, something very messy… and I believe more and more she is getting involved in those messy entanglements because either she is going through things (not judging here) or being purposefully scandalous to get back at her ex ! I don’t know if the drugs and the Armie affair are true TBH, but as I said before, how did she get papped with both Evans and West? Someone had to tipped off the paps ! Funny how Lily James was last seen with Smith in May, then partying with friends a few weeks later (the drug rumour photo) and not long after the Captain America hookup happened with an ice cream pap stroll! In the meantime Matt Smith is papped on dates with other ladies (including Emilia Clarke). In September a shady article popped on the Daily Fail saying she and Smith are done over for good. A few days later… Rome bangathon with married older dude West ! Not a coincidence… I think she is partly trying to get back at him by showing see ex boyfriend I can get some steamy romances and really hot dudes ! And I think she called the paps to get some revenge. I think this is why she embarks on those messy ´relationships’ without thinking about consequences and now, she appears a total mess. But hey look Matt I’m banging Captain America and my married costars!
I agree, she’s the younger one out of ALL of them, she’s going through a rough patch where the only men she’s having contact with are gross and unfaithful. I’m not saying let’s give her a pass, because these are choices she’s making and the unfortunate repercussions of how the optics look. I kind of wish she would just come out and say her peace. She was vulnerable, etc. They were older men, said XYZ about their marriages and I fell for it because I had a broken heart and in a weird place. **INSERT HER SHRUG HERE**
Sounds like she needs to download a software update for her picker.
I just saw Rebecca and it was excellent. There was a lot of chemistry between the lead characters…when they were together. A lot of the film, Lily James was dealing with the Kristen Scott Thomas character. Lily James is stunningly beautiful..but depicting her as a home wrecker of two marriages could damager her career. It would be a shame to pass judgement on such a great actress without evidence. We should not condemn her as in fairness she is not the one cheating if this is true. She is unmarried and in some ways should not lose her career because of this double standard.
I absolutely despise the way this was written, to the point that I can’t give any of it credence.
Poor Elizabeth, the long suffering wife, and Armie, helplessly caught in Lily’s snares, as she sends smutty texts from Matt Smith’s bed
This is a bunch of sexist shit.
It sure is
Lily is not the one who made a vow to anyone. Lily is not responsible to keep any promises made. It’s not her responsibility to make sure someone else keeps their promises. If a man is seeking a mistress, the marriage has already fallen apart. Period. A strong marriage isn’t broken by temptation, and, she can’t be a homewrecker if the home is already wrecked. Same goes for women who step out on their partner.
but but but.. tHe KiDs LoSt ThEiR fAtHeR.. well, staying together for the kids is a terrible idea anyway. This is coming from someone who’s parent had multiple, public, affairs outside of marriage, because the marriage was already broken.
Am I saying she shouldn’t catch heat, no. She shouln’t be catching nearly as much as she is, though.
Lol XD im just going to say : go girl, enjoy as much as you can! YOU ARE SINGLE .
Well having been cheated on several times, as have many commenters here, that is a horrible and hurtful thing to say. It doesn’t matter whether the woman doing the cheating is married or single, it’s an immoral and selfish thing to do. Period, full stop.
I agree with you 100%, Jaded. APPLAUDING going after a married man if you’re single is just so tone deaf to me! They could never had had their heart broken into a million jagged pieces by learning the person they loved was screwing someone else. For a split second I hoped karma would teach them how it feels, but I took that back instantly, because I don’t wish that on anyone, ever.
Morals, empathy, ethics- people have no idea what these words even mean because the media brainwashes us to believe in something different.
Honestly? That last paragraph was so over the top and blinking-neon-sign phony that if I were Elizabeth Chambers, I’d fire my publicist asap. C’mon. That’s laying it on a bit thick.
Sure, Elizabeth Chambers is objectively beautiful, but “amazing”? No. The only thing she’s known for is marrying up.
As for Armie Hammer, it seems like he’s in some kind of crisis as evidenced by his recent British GQ interview – but what we don’t know (nor is it anyone’s business) is why *really.*
As for Lily James, what we do know is that she was indeed banging Dominic West. What we don’t know is whether this Hammer story is just some smear job by an estranged wife grasping for vengeance and lashing out at the lowest hanging fruit.
Speaking of which, let’s go back to Elizabeth Chambers. Chambers is apparently bored AF and raging about having to actually pull full-time duty for two kids, while living rent-free in her in-laws condo in the Caribbean. Which she will apparently be doing for at least the next 15 years. I guess she was successful on that front, since her resume is otherwise pretty thin.
She is a Trump supporter, which means that even with all the evidence presented, she *still* chooses to align herself with a racist pig, which means she’s in favor of kids in cages, mocking people with disabilities, layers and layers of cronyism and nepotism and corruption, not to mention the general incompetence. Therefore, I don’t have much sympathy for her and her privilege.
If I were Armie Hammer, I’d get the fuck away from that as fast as I possibly could, too.
Married men who cheat always lie so don’t blame Lily. Either they lie about being married or they say their marriage no good and it’s on the rocks. I’m saying this from experience. Single women don’t willingly date married men
“Single women don’t willingly date married men”
That’s not true. I’ve known women who exclusively date married men because of the challenge of “taking them away” from their wives. There are more despicable people out there than you know apparently. I obviously don’t know if that is what happened here, but there are plenty of single women who willingly date married men and find it amusing.
Yes, I knew someone like this (co-worker). She took great delight in having the affair, got the guy to leave his wife and kids, then dumped him as he was “boring.” WTF, psychopath?
I agree that a lot of married men like that lie, but there are DEFINITELY single women who willingly date married men.
Whatever. She’s a method actor who really wants to sell us on chemistry or she’s just horny. I genuinely dont think it is anyone’s business. It is very unfortunate that these two men broke their wedding vows and hurt the women who have loved them and raised their children. That’s awful.
I don’t blame Lily at all.
Her issue is her man radar/picker. Hope she finds her perfect someone.
Her issue isn’t a bad picker, she willingly jumped into a couple of affairs with married men without giving a toss about how badly hurt and humiliated the wives would be.
She is simply immoral.
How about the husband’s though? Like why is she responsible for their behaviour? Why is she disproportionately responsible for maintaining personal purity?
The husbands are more at fault. They are in the committed relationship. Some women like a no strings attached affair and I think Lily is one of them—hot and heavy and then onto the next one! I had a girlfriend tell me the other week she is aching for an affair and she is married!!
These guys are gross AF, but unfortunately Lily’s the one who’ll feel the repercussions for their affairs professionally. Actor’s & director’s wives won’t let them work on something with her because of the stupid “now she has a reputation” impression.
Hollywood’s misogynistic and thinks like that and her career could very well suffer from this. Even just the insinuation with Armie is enough for this to catch on.
Also, a sidebar- IDK how Armie Hammer is even a thing. So bland looking, so vanilla an actor. It’s always boggled my mind.
These stories fit her as well as Taylor Swift’s “what a maneater” narrative. She has never shown an ounce of “smolder” on film or otherwise, even in those photos with Dominic West. Jolie, she ain’t. But how gross of Netflix if they’re trying to generate interest in the film by dragging their leads’ reputations like this.
Do I think there’s sexism in how some news outlets are handling this story? Sure. But I don’t think that’s the issue here.
Our little community immediately hit cancel on Dominic. It wasn’t a question. And Armie hasn’t been beloved around here in a long time as he was already considered a sleaze. And we would judge a single guy for sleeping with a string of married women.
The debate is whether the affair partner is morally culpable. I vote no.
But being an affair partner will certainly make you the center of gossip since you’re a key part of a salacious story.
And that’s what Lily should have realized. Sure, it sucks that she is now linked to two cheating scandals simultaneously, but she has made her bed and must lie in it. She could have chosen to avoid both of these stories by not getting involved, but I get it, these were easy fish to catch for her.
I think Matt Smith did a number on her and this is her version of acting out and feeling desirable again. This all looks terrible because it always happens when filming with married men…
I think ultimately Lily will be the one who suffers the repercussions professionally whilst the men will carry on as normal. The reason I think she will bear the brunt of the blame is because celebrity culture predominantly appeals to women, men don’t care about celebrity gossip. And women hate nothing more than the threat of an attractive woman coming along and stealing their man. That sort of woman is a threat to their marriage, relationships and self esteem. Not to mention the betrayal of a supposed ‘sisterhood’.
I think on here we’re are wiser that other comments sections and can already see how this will play out, and although we are mad as hell at Lily’s behaviour, we already know she’ll be the only one to professionally suffer. The married men she cheated with should be penalised just as much, if not more, but will get off Scott free. So we can already predict the injustice there. All parties were in the wrong.
Being married to a hot actor is like being married to an MBA star. You can’t expect faithfulness. Gary Cooper and Clark Gable slept with all their co-stars and they were married.
You can expect what you want from a relationship. If another person can’t be honest about their needs and desires, that’s on them. You can have an honest non-monogamous relationship with clear terms, aka open relationship, if that’s what both people agree to.
Most actors were a bit dorky in high school or college and did not do well with women. (Dominic West said his wife was “the hot one” in college.) It sounds like Hammer, too, married young, and now, all of a sudden due to his fame, women are throwing themselves at him. Most guys won’t be able to turn that down. It also happens to non-famous guys who suddenly moves up in status. The nerdy medical student at 25 is suddenly a sought-after doctor at 35. Women, as a general rule, value status in men.
It would be different in they got famous at 25 and catted around for a while and got it out of their systems … and then got married.
Film sets are a rife with cheating and on set romances. My friend used to work in film and says that when you work that closely with people you start to fancy people you wouldn’t normally. She calls it “job drunk”. Because everyone is on location somewhere away from home for weeks, even months at a time, you thrown together with strangers. It’s not like starting a new job where you feel like the odd one out and you don’t know anyone, it’s kind of like uni, where your all new together. You become close very quickly. It’s not just the cast, it’s the crew as well. I remmeber I once worked on a film set and had my own short lived romance on set, it was fun while it lasted.
They are called “showmances,” and they last the length of the play or the time it takes to film the movie.
I had a friend advise me years ago — no actors, no bartenders, no musicians.
They are both to blame if they have been banging. One of them could have said no but didn’t, although it would be tough to reject Armie. I think some women to get off on taking men that are already taken. I don’t know why, but I guess it must make them feel desirable or something. But men don’t cheat out of a lack of love, they cheat because of lack or morals, so I wouldn’t wanna get with a guy who is that quick to throw his life away on a cheap thrill.
I don’t get the ‘don’t blame lily’ comments. Feminism isn’t a shield for shady women! We can be angry at the woman and the cheating husband! Why not? As people already said, the husband is the one that broke the vows. But the woman who knew he’s married intentionally breaks the marriage for some pathetic validation that ‘he chooses her’! Especially if there’s a pattern of going after married men! That’s some lowkey sociopathic move right there, lol.
I’m not going to talk about Lily James specifically because I don’t know how accurate this is. But in general, women who intentionally go for married men should not be defended under the guise of feminism. Instead, what we should do is say “okay, she’s wrong. He’s also wrong,let’s not forget. Both are scummy here.” instead of saying “BUT he..”.
It’s all a very gray area, yes both are scummy and I will say that once you do something you can’t control how either the public views you or how the third party (the wife) will act or think.
I don’t get the appeal of Hammer at all. He just doesn’t do it for me. I think Lily is in a tailspin following her breakup from Matt Smith. I’ve been through the tailspin and it’s rough. Ending a longer term relationship can really turn you upside down, you don’t even know how lost you are.
Her smartest move would just be to lay low at this point. She sounds like a careless idiot at this point happily letting whatever gross asshole eager to cheat on his wife tangle her up in all of their drama. I’ll never understand women dumb enough to knowingly get involved that, but whatever. She’s eating the cost now, so hopefully she’s wise up after that women rarely come out as the winners regardless of what side they’re on.
So basically Lily James is the Miranda Lambert of Hollywood.
Guess we’re supposed to be outraged about her but we don’t actually know if that’s what actually happened between her and Hammer. West definitely but the others, who knows? Maybe? Also, weren’t people saying a few weeks ago it was Covid and differing political opinions on BLM that broke up Hammers marriage? Anyway, maybe she’s going through her ho phase and getting her wild oats in, maybe the West thing is getting out of control to the point where every guy she interacts with will be her new conquest, but she’ll catch all the heat and the guys will be fine. She certainly has the most interesting pandemic love life of anyone, that’s for sure.
This comment section is a toxic hot damn mess of excuses. 😂
I think commenters are struggling with two conflicting ideas:
1. Feeling protective and wary of double standards for women (you go, Lilly)
2. For those of us personally touched by infidelity, anger and disgust (how could you, Lilly)
When a dear friend was cheated on by her husband, I learned for the first time how you can never look at the third party in the same way. This other woman had it all figured out that it was philosophically correct for her to present her desires to my friend’s husband and to say she was not a party to their marriage and could not take responsibility for his choices or his marriage. All well and true, I guess, but my friend stopped eating and was diminished and devastated. When you watch your best friend try to choke down a lettuce leaf, her lips are peeling from dehydration and she’s having trouble putting together sentences out of hunger and distress, when you read about this behavior on a gossip blog, it gives you flashbacks.
You can pretend that you can tell the married dude – say, a work colleague – “well, I’m into you and would bang you any minute but that’s your decision” is morally ok and changes nothing if he turns you down… But life doesn’t work that way. Once these words are out, everything changes.
Even if he isn’t into it, it changes the dynamic between the two of you for good. If it’s in the workplace then it poisons the atmosphere.
He might turn you down, but someday, when drunk and partying, things might actually happen.
And it might influence his marriage regardless of what he chooses.
How would anyone feel if they knew their spouse was being hit on by a colleague? Even if they don’t act on it, you might begin to see the whole “some chick/dude s/he sees everyday wants to have an affair with them” thing as a danger to your marriage. Because everyone, in the end, is only human. People like to be flattered. They like easy arrangements.
The next time you’ll need to bring up difficult issues with your spouse, you’ll think about that other person, waiting for them – and might avoid communicating important things because it might bring on an argument. You’ll think how everything that’s difficult between you and your spouse, will make things easier for your spouse and The Other One to actually get closer.
Sh*t like this poisons relationships, so yeah, to me hitting on a married person is morally wrong.
Reminds me of Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, or even Russell Crowe. I think for some actors, on-set chemistry feels irresistible.
Don’t forget Michael Fassbender!
Did Lily James do something to tick off the Daily Mail? Because this seems to be getting up to anti-Keira levels extraness.
I don’t even remember them covering that “party” in the park thing when it happened (not that they didn’t, I just don’t remember it being front page Mail news) now all of a sudden this.
I think it was the Rome pics–maybe they have ties to his rich wife??
I think Lily James has the career Cressida Bonas wants, but neither are any good at acting. I still don’t get why Lily James gets cast in things because I can’t think of any role where she has been decent. I thought the was the weak link in War and Peace and basically every other role. I haven’t seen Rebecca because it’s gotten awful reviews and the Hitchcock original is a classic. (There is also a version with Charles Dance and Emilia Fox which is okay and both of those actors are a thousand times better than Armie Hammer and Lily James).
Since this new affair story is from the DM it’s probably mostly lies but it’s still not going to get me to watch this new Rebecca.
This is just Elizabeth trying her ace before going back to LA and start with the divorce settlement. Chica wants the Benjamins and she will do anything. I don’t doubt Armie was maybe flirty here and there with his costar, but that whole “She is an amazing woman. She doesn’t deserve this. You couldn’t ask for a more stunning devoted wife and she’s a great mom to their two little ones.” Come on!
That’s Elizabeth trying to look good amidst the divorce process.
The tabloid hacks might not have even bothered looking at this if she hadn’t hired Shillings law firm to send around aggressive pre emptive letters. They’re a very aggressive UK crisis management firm and a favourite of celebrities caught with their pants down.
Very interesting, thanks.
Much of this leak is from the to-be-ex-wife’s side, right? I think his rude GQ interview might have helped provoked this. There are also quotes from crews on both the Rebecca production and the with-Dom-West production. She probably made some people unhappy with the way she acted and maybe the Rome pap shots were someone throwing her under the bus.
Now The Sun says that Lily and Matt were still together and had a fight when she hooked up with Hammer. I guess that makes her a cheater too.
“We were on a break!” popped automatically into my mind ….
It’s the assumptions for me. Just because she got caught with one man (who seems to have lied to her about the state of his marriage) doesn’t mean she was involved in the demise of every married man she’s been around for the last two years. From the rumors I’ve heard, that sext was meant for a woman Armie and Elizabeth had recently had a threesome with and that’s why Elizabeth was so pissed. It’s the fact that lily will now be pulled into the thread of any man she knows or has worked with whose relationship falls apart that makes these stories sexist. And everyone in the comments dragging her for being the other woman twice is equally guilty of playing into this. There is nothing to indicate she slept with Armie other than the timing and the fact that she has now been caught with another married man. For all we know he tried and she said no.
Yeah I find it gross that now Lily is implicated by tabloids in the demise of a costar’s marriage and breakup of his family based on a sliver of anonymous gossip. With Dominic West there were pictures, okay, but here there’s basically nothing.
If you look at pics of his wife early in their marriage (before she got so thin and went blonde), pics of Josh Lucas’s ex, and squint at pics of Rumer Willis, you get a sense of what might be his type: brunettes with very strong features. Didn’t think Lily would be his type but I get the impression that he has some sort of sex addiction (no evidence on that, just speculation on my part) like David Duchovny had, so he might be into banging everyone.
Uhmmm, this has the vague scent of slut shaming. No one knows what she did but people are reporting it as fact and neglect to mention that she’s not the married person. Why isn’t it phrased “Armie Hamer may have cheated on his wife” or “Dominic West cheated on his wife” , putting her name first puts the onus for any incidents on her, and that’s not cool.
I kind of believe this. Seems possible and if the wife wanted to hurt Lily it’s a perfect time now! I think she told the media since “stunning wife”. Revenge is best served cold.
Single women aren’t responsible for other people’s marriages or other people’s husbands behaviour. No one wants to hate the husband/father they’ve put so much energy into making a life with so let’s demonize the other woman. Only problem with that is it never addresses the issues that these cheating men obviously have. If you hold the man accountable, you may have to leave, or resolve to stay with him if that’s your choice. Cheating is a symptom of something r else-and not everyone is willing/ready to deal with something so painful. As for Lily, there’s a Jamaican saying “Girl, you are oxtail, with rice and peas with extra gravy. Nuh badda mek somebody’s son treat you like chicken back.” She’s a beautiful woman who has many options but acts like she doesn’t. People like that have been through stuff where she now believes this is either ok and/or this is all she’s going to get. She’s a human too, and we live in a society that will drag her for this, but all those men have to do is have a couple photo ops with their wife and kids and all is forgotten. She needs to ask herself why the choices she’s making for herself aren’t very loving.
“Single women aren’t responsible for other people’s marriages…”
Well, if they were passionately banging during filming, it didn’t translate. There was less than zero chemistry between these two on screen.
Is it ill-advised to get involved with a married co-star? Probably. Should the article not frame said married male co-star as a passive bystander to an affair he potentially had? Definitely.
Dang Lily. Gather yourself, child.
Who’s next? Me? You? Don’t miss the next episode.
The amount of coddling white women get on this site…phew.
I actually like Lily James as an actress and am ‘men’ about Hammer and West. I can’t roll my eyes enough when people post this insipid nonsense that the party that is not married is less responsible. It is simply coddling and incorrect. If you go into a situation with the facts and the data that is someone is married and still chose to cheat with them then you have questionable morals.
I don’t know what some of you are smoking but please hit me up. Because if you think supporting poor judgment just to stick it to men and society’s double standards is the way to make a point , well then, I have a bridge to sell you.
Lily is not a little girl. She is an adult woman. She had just as much a part to play as any of the men. Some women like to hide behind sexism and yet don’t seem to realize that infantilizing and coddling a 30 something year old woman’s history of bad choices is just as troubling.
@Jaded is one of the only posters telling it like it is.
YES. Thank you for articulating what I have been thinking. There is no justification for screwing someone else’s partner, whether you’re the married partner or the unmarried partner in that equation. Both made a morally wrong decision and I’m horrified to see people justify Lily’s actions just because she’s female and unmarried. It does not make cheating okay, and I am wondering if they would be so forgiving of the other woman if she and their partner were screwing. Feminism is to believe in capability and equality for both sexes, but that also means sharing equal culpability in an action. Both knew it was wrong, both are to blame
I was really distracted with Armie’s wardrobe in the movie. Seems like they ran out of budget and could only afford a suit and a couple of shirts for his character!
Personally, I think these men are scum and Lily is not to blame (at all). She didn’t force them to d*ck her and the onus of abstaining from an affair should be on the married guy. Anyway, go, Lily! Destroy your reputation and break up those (un)happy homes.
(I’m not exactly sure I care about two privileged white people dicking around, tbh)
@BIBI you’re not making sense!! I find statements like ( “She didn’t force them to d*ck her and the onus of abstaining from an affair should be on the married guy” ) which are completely whitewashing her part in the cheating troubling. Feminism is about equality. When you put all the blame on only the men then I’m sorry you’re part of the problem.
I for one would judge this from my own experience and I dont wish it on anyone else. It can make you feel insecure and become less trusting of others. I could never understand what would make a women and in this case a beautiful famous woman like lilly choose to sleep with a married man with 4kids when she could have Chris Evans!
@Awkward Had it been Lily who was married, I would have placed the blame squarely on her. I don’t see how feminism is relevant to this. Those men KNEW they had wives and clearly didn’t take their vows seriously or whatever. I don’t quite care.