There’s a new profile of Nick Cannon in Men’s Health. It’s a wide-ranging and thoughtful piece by a Black male reporter and attempts to understand Nick and his actions without harshly passing judgement. In the photo spread, Nick is really leaning into the fatherhood image. It also has more detail from Nick on his thoughts and feelings about fatherhood and parenting than any other reporting I’ve seen. There are less pithy soundbites in here and the excerpt is a little long, but it’s pretty illuminating.
On Zen’s passing: Zen was diagnosed with an aggressive form of brain cancer when he was two months old. After talking to his doctors, Cannon and Scott decided to focus on giving Zen the most comfortable life in the time he had. They spent Zen’s final day together at the beach. Cannon has said explaining to his other children what happened was “intense,” but those conversations also helped him “deal with it.” Two months later, he said on a podcast that he walks “around with a backpack full of guilt” because he didn’t spend more time with Zen and that working hard makes dealing with the guilt easier because he feels like he’s providing for others.
On having eight kids: In January, Cannon announced that his eighth child was on the way. He has said in the past that none of his children were “accidents,” which provides a glimpse into his parenting outlook: Whether your kids are strictly “planned” is irrelevant when they’re, as you see it, a part of a bigger plan. What he did say when we spoke was: “I love my children. I love the people that I’m involved with. People even often ask, ‘Are you gonna have more, you gonna stop?’ I’m like, those are questions that I don’t, I don’t really even sit around and think about. I’m just walking in my purpose and trying to be the best father and best provider I could possibly be.”
Being an engaged father: Fatherhood is something he takes immense pride in. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m probably engaged throughout my children’s day, more often than the average adult can be,” he says, since he doesn’t work a traditional nine-to-five job and has flexibility to set his own hours and still be a high-level earner. “If I’m not physically in the same city with my kids, I’m talking to them before they go to school via FaceTime and stuff. And then when I am [in the same city, I’m] driving my kids to school, like making sure I pick ’em up. All of those things, making sure [I’m there for] all extracurricular activities. I’m involved in everything from coaching to having guitar lessons with my daughter every week.”
On traditional households: Cannon is approaching fatherhood and family in an unorthodox way; he was raised in an unorthodox way. “I’ve seen where people believe a traditional household works, and [yet] there’s a lot of toxicity in that setting,” he says. “It’s not about what society deems is right. It’s like, what makes it right for you? What brings your happiness? What allows you to have joy and how you define family? We all define family in so many different ways.”
The section about Zen’s passing is heart-breaking. It sounds like Nick and Alyssa Scott did the best they could for Zen in the time they had, but Nick admits that he feels guilty he didn’t spend more time with Zen and that he works hards (as in career) to suppress that guilt. It’s a really sad situation all around and it was shortly after Zen’s death and the announcement of his eighth child that Nick said he wouldn’t have any more kids, so perhaps guilt had a hand in that decision. The rest of what Nick says is more what you’d expect from him. He talks about a bigger plan and toxicity in traditional households and being an engaged father. He does say that he tries to be as involved as possible when he is physically there and I think that the “when” there is probably doing a lot of work. (I’m also just picturing him driving around a mini-van to handle all those school pickup/drop-offs). He also mentions that he doesn’t “sit around and think about” all these questions people ask, which like, maybe he should. I don’t think Nick is a bad person or has bad intentions, but I don’t think he really thinks the situation through outside of himself and what brings him happiness, which is not really fair to the children.
Also, Abby De La Rosa, the mother of Nick’s second set of twins born last year, just announced she is pregnant again. She hasn’t revealed the father, but if it’s not Nick’s she’s cut off, right?
Sure, NOW you’re spending time with them. But what happens when it’s 8 (or 16) ball games a week, 8 piano/guitar/cello lessons, 8 households that need time and focus and engagement and organization. Not everything will revolve around Nick and when he’s available as those kids get older. I have one 11 year old, and we’re a two-parent, high income household, with family nearby, and it STILL gets stressful managing everyone’s schedule. His life is going to be Wildin’ Out (see what I did there?) in about 6 years.
If you listen to people raised in plural marriage households, they talk about the lack of presence of their male parent, and that the primary parent is their mother. Sure sounds like that’s going to be the future here.
I think, though, that the experiences of many in traditional households is sometimes the same – that the primary, more hands-on, parents are the mothers. I often wish that extended families got more support. I thought the Obamas plan seemed like a good one, particularly in households with two working-outside-the-home parents, although I get that multi-generational households have their own multiple stressors too.
I agree that the Obamas’ plan was great. My parents are 6 minutes away with traffic, and that is an incredible privilege that not many families have. They aren’t IN my house, but they can be there in practically an instant when needed, and what’s more, they WANT to be.
The creation of the myth that you should be able to handle it all, without outside help, or you are failing as a mother and a family, is so incredibly harmful. I’m grateful for my parents every day, even when they make me a little crazy-pants. I hope the women in Nick’s life have good support systems outside of him.
If two parents running a household are managing 8 (or 16) ball games a week, 8 piano/guitar/cello lessons, and more…that’s not exactly spending quality time with the kids. Maybe we dont need to worry so much about how black families, (or any race for that matter), are raising their children in family structures that might be different than the white nuclear family structure.
No one brought race into it but you. Nick puts his business out here, has made a choice to have multiple children of similar age, and we’re talking about it on a gossip site. He says he’s spending more time with his kids than average adults, I call BS, and I say it’s going to be exponentially worse as the kids get older. ANY family with 8 kids is not spending as much time with them as 1-2-3 kid households, but there’s more of a chance of togetherness as a family when you’re in one (or two) households. This is not that. I side-eye his decisions here, and I don’t care about his financial abilities to support them.
So much this. I have two kids, stable marriage, in-town, active grandparents who absolutely ADORE my kids, and it’s still hard to schedule. As they have gotten older, the scope, frequency, and duration of their activities has gotten more challenging and we often have to split up to make sure everyone gets “seen.” Then add in work obligations and professional commitments…it gets hairy.
I agree that Nick only sees this through his own lens, which is problematic. Kids are their own selves; they are not props or extensions of us, and it seems like he doesn’t get that.
I’d really, really, really love to know what Mariah truly thinks, but I also think she won’t ever say.
“I don’t know her” in response to every question about one of Nick’s other children’s mothers.
😂🤣 Too right, if she did JLo like that, she would not hesitate to do the same to the harem Nick’s amassed.
I just hope the moms all facilitate the kids getting to know one another and being in each other’s lives as much as they are able.
I’m ashamed to actually know the first pic (adorable) is of Golden Sagon and the other child is Powerful Queen. Honestly, with all the stuff going on in the world and the shite with the RF, I kinda stopped caring about Nick’s drama. Not saying it’s great, etc. etc. but he takes care of the mothers and kids financially and emotionally (in turns) etc. etc. I know I’ll get backlash for this opinion, but there are so many men out there doing this, but denying paternity, beating the mothers, not paying child support, etc. (Antonio Brown quickly comes to mind). I’ve always liked Nick and I hope he gets the vasectomy sooner rather than later.
I missed your post when I made mine below. Many of the same points. Like, it’s not great, it’s not ideal but at least he is trying?
He’s delusional if he think he’s being a great father to ANY of his kids.
And most of them are still small. Once they all go to school, do sports, learn an instrument or pursue other interests, it’s going to be impossible to be as involved in their lives as they deserve their father to be.
Don’t know what him or any of those women (except Mariah) are thinking.
I think that there are good points to be made about the limits of traditional two-parent households. I’ll be interested in hearing from Nick — and the other members of his family — in a few decades.
I don’t think Nick knows any average adults.
There’s a lot of men out there (like, a LOT) who aren’t interested in being a father at all but still impregnate their partners. There’s a lot of famous men who don’t acknowledge their children publicly until they are pressured to, or who “never hit (their kid) in the face”. I don’t think Nick has enough of himself as a person to go around and give each child the love, attention and focus they really need, but at least he is determined to try. He might not be realistic but he wants to be there for them . That deserves some credit.
You are much more generous than I. This is a situation HE created- her doesn’t get credit for barely getting by. These were purposeful acts that were not chosen for the betterment of the children involved. There’s no way to properly patent all of those children no matter how much money he has or what his stated intentions are.
I agree that he isn’t being realistic when he says he wants to be fully present and involved daily with all of his children. But look at Tristan Thompson, look at Brad Pitt or Anthony Hopkins or Tom Cruise. Look at Drake.
5 households. We are a 2 parent, 2 income home with 2 kids and it is hard to keep up with clubs and sports etc. There is zero chance he is more present than my husband. Facetime isn’t actually the same as being present. Also….kids thrive with a routine. Because of the nature of his work, I would bet he doesnt have one which means his visiting is not routine. Also….is any of this monetary support under a legal custody agreement or is it just what he wants to dole out, keeping the mothers under his control?
His kids are/will be in 4 different households. Even if he’s really trying, he can’t physically be there that much at each one.
Call Me Mabel, Yes, I think we’re on the same page here. He is trying.
What’s gonna happen if these moms want more children or establish a relationship with another man who may end up being a stepdad, has he talked about that possibility anywhere? It all seems very focused on him, a harem as someone else commented. I’d like to think these women still have agency over their lives and decisions.