Brian Austin Green on parenting: ‘I don’t own these kids, they are individuals’

I forget that Brian Austin Green is the father of five boys now. He has Kassius (Yahoo spells it with a C for some reason), 20, Noah, nine, Bodhi, eight, Journey, six, and Zane, three months. Kassius’ mom is Vanessa Marcil, Noah, Bodhi and Journey’s mom is Megan Fox and Zane is Brian’s son with his current partner, Sharna Burgess. Yahoo Life interviewed Brian for their So Mini Ways parenting series and asked him about parenting his large/widely aged brood. Brian said everything’s going grand, that the boys all get along and melded together beautifully. He owes much of that to his you-do-you parenting ways. And he has Kassius as proof that he’s doing this whole Dad thing completely right.

How everyone gets along: All of them are so obsessed with Zane and just so in love with him. And there’s been no issue with that at all; there’s been no friction in the situation. Things that could have naturally happened in having a baby with someone new — the younger kids that I have taking issue with that, because there’s a new one that they’re not completely blood-related to on both sides — it could have been so difficult and just hasn’t been. From day one, they’ve absolutely embraced Sharna and now embrace Zane. It’s been amazing. It’s really been a blessing.

His parenting style: I don’t own these kids. I don’t want to push upon them my passions or the things that make me me. I enjoy the fact that they are individuals and I love really helping them find the individuality, and their passions and the things that make them them. I feel like my job as a parent is to make sure, morally, that they are good people when they grow up.

His parenting philosophy: Just love your kids. Just accept them for who they are and be loving and kind and supportive of everything that they do. Don’t let your own experiences in your own life get in the way of allowing them to experience and live their lives. Be OK with stepping back a little bit and not micromanaging the situation.

Kassius is proof he’s a good dad: I feel so blessed and I’m so excited watching him navigate the world himself. Hearing from people like, ‘Oh, I’ve met him, and he’s just an amazing human being,’ — I feel like, OK, that’s one down. I’ve done good with one so far, so four more to go. If he is any sort of [testament] of what it is that I’m doing and have done, then good on it so far. It seems to be working.

[From Yahoo!]

I don’t dislike what Brian is saying here, actually. I’m not his biggest fan, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong. I bristled at his patting himself on the back and taking credit for Kassius, though. Especially given he practically abandoned the boy for his formative years. I’m never keen to a man taking credit for the work a single mom’s done. If it was a partnership that got the child where they were, say that. But for someone who has a history of going after his boys’ moms publicly when his nose is out of joint, Brian could tone his self-congratulatory note down a bit. That’s not condemnation of Kassius, who I am sure is lovely.

I appreciate the rest of the sentiment, though. Obviously, parents raise kids with the ideas and values they want to impart. But children will be their own people and that becomes one of the most interesting parts of raising them – learning about their interests and discovering things together. Sometimes they come to the things you love but it’s in their teens, years after you first introduced it. Sometimes they never get it. Brian has a point, though, trying to micromanage them into something only drives them away from it. A parent’s involvement depend on the situation and the child’s age, but knowing when it’s better to step back is a very important lesson. Even if Brian is the one teaching it.

Photo credit: Instagram and Cover Images

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10 Responses to “Brian Austin Green on parenting: ‘I don’t own these kids, they are individuals’”

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  1. Merricat says:

    BAG has no grounds to claim the end result of the “amazing” Kassius. That’s all Vanessa Marcil.

    • AmyB says:

      Yes! My feeling exactly!! His three kids with Megan, he was more involved obviously. But taking credit for his eldest with Vanessa Marcil – BIGGEST eyeroll ever!

  2. Stef says:

    Not a huge fan of him personally but I like what he’s saying here about his sons. Too many parents try to push their own passions on kids, or live vicariously through them, and it puts so much pressure on young minds.

    I saw this as a custodial Stepmom to two teens. My girl’s dad wanted her to play softball at the university level (he’d coached her teams most of her life) and she struggled so hard in her last two years of high school due to the pressure. She ended up quitting altogether in the final months of high school.

    That said, BAG needs to acknowledge the three mothers here that likely have had more of a hand in raising these boys that he has (given that a father can’t be 100% to 5 kids from 3 different mothers, plus his absenteeism in Kassius’s formative years). Be proud? Sure! But a classier man would have given some credit where it’s due, and it’s not all down to BAG…

  3. BB says:

    He’s not wrong, of course. But this kind of celebrity’s take on parenting always seems performative and border on fake to me. Like someone who juste read a parent magazine waiting for the dentist. GMAB. Those people do not raise their kids the way us plebeians do. They hardly do it and they want to shower us with their “science”. Of course he didn’t raise Kassius, he never and won’t ever raise a child for real.

    • Pointillist says:

      For some reason I went on a Megan Fox roll. Fox went off on BAG for posting photos of their kids and for always needing to prove he is the best dad and spending lots of time for them. He seems very performative to me for sure and it was hilarious because Vanessa Marcil liked Megan’s comment lol.

      • Sass says:

        Ever since I saw him use his kids on IG to publicly shame Megan I’ve never liked him. He even had the gall to reply abusively to multiple commenters on that post who told him his behavior was inappropriate. BAG? More like d-bag

  4. PaperclipNumber99 says:

    As certain as life and death, douchebags are gonna douche.

  5. Michael says:

    I wonder what BAG is doing for money or if he is soley living off of Fox paying him? I know when they split previously he claimed he had some sort of vertigo issue and could not work so she had to pay him spousal support. He is not a terrible actor and he is good looking and well known enough to at least get bit parts in B grade stuff. I hope he goes back to work and supports all those boys along with his ex wife, Do not need anymore KFeds in this world

  6. AmelieOriginal says:

    Didn’t he severely limit contact with Kassius for a number of years? Vanessa Marcil spoke out about how Kassius didn’t even know where his dad lived and had never met his younger brother at one point. I wonder if that was partially due to Megan Fox and now that she’s out of the picture, he has more regular contact with Kassius? In any case, he doesn’t get any credit for helping raise Kassius. If he’s a good kid, that’s credit to his mom Vanessa Marcil.

  7. Jamie says:

    “Boys” should be changed to “kids/children.” Not all of his kids identify as male and the Yahoo article only uses “son” in reference to the eldest.