Telegraph: Americans love Carole Middleton because she’s so discreet!

The Telegraph recently had a piece with this headline: “How the Middletons are finally cracking America.” “Finally” is saying a lot? As is “cracking.” The piece is about how Carole Middleton has now launched a Party Pieces line in America, specifically the ShopRite grocery store chain based in New Jersey. A few weeks ago, Carole even traveled to the wondrous Garden State to pose in a ShopRite. Because Salt Island’s media figures are idiots who don’t understand America or American audiences, they think New Jersey is just the land of Teresa Guidice, Tony Soprano and, now, the Future Queen’s Mother. But really, this Telegraph piece is just an excuse to compare-and-contrast Carole Middleton and… the Sussexes. Hilarity ensues.

Britsplaining New Jersey: Carole isn’t the first woman to launch her product range at this ShopRite in New Jersey. Three years ago Teresa Giudice – the star of Real Housewives of New Jersey – sold her peach and raspberry-flavoured sparkling wine at the same supermarket. New Jersey is pure The Sopranos territory: multi-lane highways, strip-light malls and a strong Italian immigrant population. Guidice fits right in; Carole Middleton – the mother to Britain’s next Queen – not so much.

ShopRite is not highbrow: “It’s a bit of a head-scratcher because this is not our version of Waitrose,” says New York-based writer Eloise Parker, “and it’s definitely not Macy’s. It’s also not somewhere I could see Carole shopping.”

Publicity-shy Carole: As in the UK, Party Pieces will remain focused on pretty but disposable children’s party fare, although new themes like the not-so-subtly named ‘A Very English Rose’ give a nod to the American audience – and an older clientele. More interesting is the ShopRite marketing campaign, which stars the usually publicity-shy Carole Middleton. Plastered all around the stores are life-size cutouts of her dressed in the sort of high-end country casuals Martha Stewart is fond of.

Carole is “echoing the sort of go-getting chutzpah the Duchess of Sussex is famed for.” It is difficult to find much information, but Covid is thought to have hit the business hard – or at least set its business plans back. But now its international expansion is finally taking place, and in an Amazon-dominated world, America is definitely where you go to rev things up. Not only is the potential market five times the size of Britain’s, the Windsor connection there is gold: Sarah Ferguson knew it, and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have banked their future livelihood on it too.

Americans won’t know Carole? “You can get party products in a thousand places in the US – Party City outlets are literally across the street from ShopRite stores,” says Parker. “People won’t necessarily know who Carole is, but there is real power in the Middleton name as Catherine is still referred to as Kate Middleton in most of the American press.”

Carole, member of the royal family: Still, the family has to tread lightly. Carole and Michael Middleton have always been the masters of discretion, rarely putting a foot wrong and steadfastly refusing to engage in any press questions about their son-in-law. Had they not, those invitations to Balmoral and Sandringham would have quickly dried up; as it is, the Prince of Wales has ensured they are not only members of his family but of the Royal Family. Clearly determined not to jeopardise this, Carole has so far given no interviews to promote this collaboration with ShopRite – and while she has visited the New Jersey store in person, nowhere in the press release or on any of the posters is there a single mention of the Royal family or of her famous daughter.

Carole would never trade on Kate’s marriage!! It is a delicate balancing act – but this subtle approach has won fans on both sides of the Atlantic. Where Meghan has exposed every piece of royal dirty laundry she can find, Carole has never traded on her eldest daughter’s marriage.

America is obsessed with the Middletons: “America is obsessed with Kate and her family because of how poised but also how discreet they all are,” says British-based US journalist Helen Kirwan-Taylor. “Meghan has done the opposite and she has blown it in their eyes. I think [the ShopRite collaboration] is a clever move: anything that sniffs of royalty and the Queen will be popular – and especially at a low-cost point. Plus, the more subtle the branding, the better.”

[From The Telegraph]

“America is obsessed with Kate and her family because of how poised but also how discreet they all are. Meghan has done the opposite and she has blown it in their eyes.” Meghan and Harry effortlessly went highbrow with their personal and professional branding, making big-money deals with Spotify and Netflix. Harry is a Chief Impact Officer at a billion-dollar San Francisco-based mental coaching service, BetterUp. Meghan wears bespoke Dior and Valentino, and she’s profiled by Variety and New York Magazine. Meanwhile, Carole thinks her parochial Bucklebury-mum shtick will land in America, all while being too pompous to actually give interviews to promote the lowbrow collaboration with ShopRite. Also: Carole has literally always banked on her royal connections. She truly swans around like she’s the Queen Mum. The funniest thing is that they’re trying to act like Carole is so brilliantly lowkey when her face is posted all over the Party Pieces display. ShopRite is literally selling Party Pieces with Carole’s image.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instagram.

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130 Responses to “Telegraph: Americans love Carole Middleton because she’s so discreet!”

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  1. goofpuff says:

    Everything they claim Meghan did wrong, they immediately afterwards say that the Middletons did with concrete examples but praise them for it.

    • ELX says:

      Not even Wegmans—this is really low-rent and basic. Good luck to her, but ‘royal’ it’s not.

      • Persephone says:

        Exactly! It’s not even in a high-end store.

      • The Recluse says:

        Not even in a CVS or a Walgreens or ….Tar-get!
        Those british publicity writers have NO CLUE whatsoever about the American market.

      • Deering24 says:

        Aldi’s would have been a smarter call. They have very few party items, and have achieved a kinda reverse cachet for having interesting international/weird items for a nice price. Hey, where else can you buy a Venus Flytrap in autumn? 🤣

    • Jan90067 says:

      She is literally a Hyacinth BOOQUET trying to be Martha Stewart here.

      As for “never trading off royal connections” , that is all she does!
      And if Peggy considers her part of the royal family, I thought they weren’t supposed to be making money off those connections.

      Again, one rule for H&M, another for the rest of them.

      • Eurydice says:

        Not to mention that this piece is actually contradicting itself. On the one hand, they say the only reason anyone in the US would recognize Carole is because they know Kate. On the other, they say Carole would never trade off her connection to Kate. So, which is it?

      • Lady D says:

        What I didn’t understand was the “potential market five times the size of Britain’s.” Britain has 3 times the population of NY.

      • Moneypenny424 says:

        @ladyD they mean the US population compared to the British population.

      • The Recluse says:

        And we have Martha Stewart! Who needs this wannabe?

      • Deering24 says:

        We’ve not only got Martha, we’ve got tons of lifestyle gurus/influencers at all price points. 🤣🤣😈😈


        If I hear she “never put a foot wrong” one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions.

  2. Chica71 says:

    Which American? Most don’t know or care for her. I think disinterested is better

    • TigerMcQueen says:

      Most I know don’t know who the f*** she is lol. The article is mindboggling. And, frankly, as someone who lives in the Mid Atlantic, the stereotypes littering it about New Jersey are insulting.

    • jwoolman says:

      Yes. There are likely many Americans who have no idea who the Middletons are. Or even who Kate is. And are a bit fuzzy about William.

      There are some Americans obsessed with the British Royal Family, but most really aren’t. We have our own soap opera stars to watch. And we aren’t well known for our extensive knowledge of geography and the politics of other countries, much less who is a powerless remnant of olden times in local royalty.

      I know it’s important to people in the UK and maybe Commonwealth countries, but why would anybody else be that wrapped up in the British royals?

      Charles might actually find himself down to being just titular King of England and Wales at some point. There are big cracks in the Commonwealth, and both Scotland and Northern Ireland have been reconsidering the benefits of remaining in the UK especially since Brexit.

      The British Empire fizzled out quite some time ago, as happens to all empires (and will happen to the American Empire as well). Nothing personal, folks.

      • Nic919 says:

        Most Canadians wouldn’t know who Carole Middleton is either. She’s never included even in celebrity magazines over here.

    • Persephone says:

      It’s hilarious, isn’t it? Literally no one cares about this woman or her family.

  3. Tessa says:

    This American does not. Article comes out of camp Middleton

    • A says:

      It’s nice of them to use the same phrases and words over and over again so everyone can tell who is giving which briefs. ‘Keen’. and ‘never put a foot wrong’ seem to be particular favorites of the Middletons.

      • Steph says:

        Lol thanks for saying this. My annoyance about the repetiveness of these writers is probably getting tiresome for those who read the comments. Lol

      • ncboudicca says:

        OMG thank you @A. would someone puhleeze tell Carole to find some different phrases to use when she submits her fantasy diary entries to the papers?

      • First comment says:

        “Never put a foot wrong ” is definitely a phrase that comes from Carole… they are so constant in its use…can’t they be a little more creative?

  4. CrazyHeCallsMe says:

    😂🤣😂🤣 I needed a good laugh this morning.

    1. The average American will ask “Carole who?”

    2. Between Party City, Christmas Tree Shops, Amazon and Dollar stores, there is plenty of retail outlets for inexpensive “party pieces”

    3. These people are obsessed with “conquering America” and taking it away from the Sussexes.

    • Cessily says:

      So now she is trying to compete with Doria? (Who everyone has great respect and empathy for) No most Americans don’t even know who she is and we don’t care. Why do these people keep pushing themselves on American? Stick to your own borders and out of ours isn’t that the point of all that countries “its”. As John Stewart said, “Britain gave us Prince Harry and we decided to keep him” he is the only Royal everyone here knows and he and his family are the only ones that we care about. The Sussex’s success must truly be chapping all their *sses.

      • Lorelei says:

        Ironically, I think that MORE Americans would know who Doria is (not that this is a contest) because she was featured so prominently during H&M’s wedding, conducted herself so beautifully, and then was walked out by Charles. She’s also in that iconic photo of the Queen meeting Archie. Doria’s daughter marrying into that family actually has historical significance. CarolE is trash.

    • Debbie says:

      Their obvious obsession with anything Sussex is sad too. Why mention the Sussexes at all? It’s one thing to mention Sarah Ferguson, a Brit who briefly came to America to make some money, in a conversation about Carole M. — another Brit (I guess) who’s apparently hungry for American money. But the Sussexes LIVE in American and they came here because it’s Meghan’s home country. So, I guess the takeaway is… Leave Meghan’s name out of your mouths.

      PS: That first photo of her getting out of the car, at the end of a pub crawl maybe? What can I say, like mother, like daughter.

  5. Tessa says:

    Yet magazines with Kate on the cover do not fly off the shelves.

  6. Harla A Brazen Hussy says:

    The fact that none of these people can be elevated without bringing Meghan, or Harry but always Meghan, down is infuriating and disgusting.

  7. Amy Bee says:

    The Middletons’ obsession with Meghan is off the chain. They really see themselves as better than her. If Carole had a deal with Target or Macy’s that would something to boast about but a regional store in New Jersey not so much.

    • zebz says:

      Not just Meghan, but Doria too. Their fixation with Princess Diana transferred onto Meghan (and strangely doria for carole). On a personal level Doria was embraced by Prince Charles, The Queen and Prince Philip, (in the beginning) while Carole was mocked. There was another article in an austrailian magazine earlier this year saying Carole was jealous of Doria getting praised for her youthful looks at NAACP and that’s why she launched a new collection. She is a moron.

  8. Geegee says:

    Oh good God!!! How is KC3 ok with this. The royals are looking tackier by the minute. Between Mike Tindall reality tv and Carol (I’m a royal! Buy my merch!) Middleton. This has got to be embarrassing.

  9. Becks1 says:

    I just kind of scratched my head through this whole thing.

    Americans are obsessed with Kate? Eh, not really. And even for Americans who follow Kate even slightly, the vast majority aren’t going to know who Carole is. Middleton is not an uncommon name, many people will not make the connection.

    And if she’s not trading on her daughter’s royal connections, then why are there cardboard cutouts of her everywhere? the only reason anyone over here WOULD know who she is, is because of who her daughter married. Most CEOs don’t have their images plastered everywhere unless they are already famous.

    Finally – New Jersey, Sopranos country and strip malls and multi lane highways? Wow. What a stereotype. Yes, obviously that’s true for some parts of NJ. But some parts are really lovely, with quaint downtown areas and great restaurants and shopping. My husband’s hometown doesn’t even have a traffic light and I think if I showed most people a picture of his area they would associate it more with New England – lots of rolling hills, pretty farmland, small towns, and then old money.

    Anyway LOOK WHAT THIS ARTICLE IS MAKING ME DO. I’m defending New Jersey!!!

    • Becks1 says:

      Also the line about how Meghan has blown it in Americans’ eyes? Eh, not quite. We like hard workers here. We like people who make their own mark on the world. We like people who we can relate to, and most people can relate to Harry and Meghan on some level (anyone who has dealt with a toxic family member can certainly relate.) Kate is just……not relatable.

      • Seraphina says:

        I have to respectfully disagree and Becks, I tend to agree with you a great deal. I have a good friend who buys into what the right wing sells. And the right wing does bash Meghan and so my friend too has negative opinion of Meghan and Harry. So I ask her what she bases her opinion on – give examples. It takes A LOT to educate her – and others – and I always say to them they should read the books that out there. But unfortunately most people do not like to question and educate themselves – the thought of making themselves uncomfortable due to their beliefs is unimaginable to them.

      • Becks1 says:

        @Seraphina oh I agree with that to a certain extent. I have a good friend who is sort of liberal (she’s not as liberal as she likes to think she is) and she is one of the few people I know who still gets People mag in the mail on a regular basis (her and my 65 year old aunt LOL). When H&M bought their house she asked me, “dont you think its just too fancy, they should have gotten something more down to earth?” So I showed her pictures of bagshot park and Gatcombe and Royal Lodge etc lol.

        obviously you are always going to have people who buy into the right wing propaganda. But I think if Meghan had completely blown it here, her podcast wouldn’t do as well as it does, she and Harry wouldn’t be as well received as they are, etc.

        I will say that my MIL is super right wing (they looooove Fox News), lives in NJ and shops at Shop Rite. She has no idea who Kate Middleton is, let alone Carole, lol.

      • Cessily says:

        Meghans podcast is introducing her to a brand new audience who love her along with keeping her very loyal fan base. The numbers do not lie. I’ve been through NJ and I agree outside of Newark there are some beautiful areas and Newark is like most large cities and has its issues, good and bad. (Raised my kids near Detroit and absolutely love that city 30 years going there and never had any issues whatsoever but the stereotype continues).
        I am hoping their contracts with retailers in NJ tank soon and I’m looking forward to dismal numbers with the other projects K and W are pushing on us here I know I have no interest in watching or supporting anything they do. We are not as simple minded as these people seem to think.

      • Ceej says:

        See Becks1, I just choose to believe
        the “their eyes” referred to the eyes of the Middleton family given that’s who “they” meant in the first sentence. Because I’m sure they do think she’s blown it, because otherwise they’d explode with jealousy at how well she’s doing. Ah, the wonders of grammar.

        (Although I’m sure whatever media Rupert Murdoch owns also believe she’s blown it because of the terror white male imperialism faces from women and people of colour. Even worse when you’re both.)

    • Ciotog says:

      I really wouldn’t call the Italian-Americans who live in New Jersey “immigrants.” Most would be from families who’ve been in the States for generations.

      • lucy2 says:

        Right? Maybe 100 years ago a lot of the Italian families were considered “immigrant families” but not now, LOL.

        I would bet 99.9% of Americans don’t know or care who Carol Middleton is. I bet most people walk by the display with the LIFESIZED photo of her and have no clue. People in Shop Rite want to get in and get out.

    • Debbie says:

      I actually thought that Kaiser was being fanciful by bringing Teresa Giudice and Tony Soprano into this Middleton story. It turns out that the British media is really that ignorant. They were the ones who brought Teresa Giudice into this. Isn’t that the woman whose husband was imprisoned, deported back to Italy (or both) for criminal activity? On second thought, perhaps the BM is on to something by associating the Middletons to the Giudice family.

      • Harper says:

        Teresa even served time for fraud! But grifters are what CarolE is comfy with, right? And yes, Joe G was jailed and deported to Italy.

    • Elizabeth says:

      These British journalists have no idea about New Jersey, do they? Or how big the state is? I’m guessing they’ve never heard of Princeton University? New Jersey is much more than the RHONJ and the Sopranos. Thomas Edison would like to have a word as well.

      • Becks1 says:

        Right? I mean even if we’re going to stick with North Jersey, you have places like Hoboken that are lively and diverse, you have lovely beach towns that aren’t the stereotypical Jersey shore, etc.

        WHY am I defending NJ?!?!?! What has Carole done to this Maryland girl??

      • Lady D says:

        I know Hoboken because that’s where the Cake Boss, Buddy, has his bakery.

      • Deering24 says:

        NJ is essentially five states in one between the cities, small towns, shore, extensive countryside, and mountains. Jeez, these folks are ignant. 🙄🙄🤣🤣

      • Lorelei says:

        OR, the author could know better but used the worst stereotypes to shade CarolE and this whole tacky enterprise

      • windyriver says:

        That would be Princeton, briefly the nation’s capital, where Nassau Hall still has some marks from cannonballs launched during the Revolution when the British holding the building were forced out, and where a portrait of Washington was commissioned early on to replace one of King George, previously hung in that location (I think it may even be in the same frame). For multiple reasons NJ was called the crossroads of the revolution, and there’s many reminders in central NJ, where many Saker stores are located, of the battles that helped turn the tide of the war. Also, Washington spent the last months of the war near Princeton, while he awaited news the Treaty of Paris had been signed, you know, confirming independence from GB. (Another bit of trivia – Aaron Burr Sr. was the second president of the College of NJ/Princeton and was responsible for moving it to Princeton. He’s buried in Princeton cemetery, as is his son, “Aaron Burr, sir”. There’s a picture of Leslie Odom, Jr. paying a visit around the time Hamilton came out.)

        Anyway, there’s nothing we’ve seen in recent years to indicate saying goodbye to the British was something to regret. Go home, Carole.

        @Becks1 – my sister in law, her two kids and their families, all natives of NJ (I’m not), recently moved to coastal MD. Lovely place, may end up there myself!

    • BeanieBean says:

      And that’s why I love this site. Becks1, you are hilarious!

  10. MsIam says:

    Meghan is so unpopular but they always need to bring her name into every article about these boring @ss folks. I’ll keep right on buying my party supplies at the dollar store, thank you very much!

  11. Queenmumanne says:

    Carole does magazine articles all the time about how she decorates or talks about what she does with the kids for Halloween. Oh no..she would never
    talk about the royal family. And she uses them for tickets to Wimbledon every single year. And we all know the middletons will have another front row seat at the Kate’s Christmas Carol carnival. She made sure she was invited to the funeral of the queen and the list goes on and on and on and on.

  12. C-Shell says:

    *blink* *blink*

    “ Where Meghan has exposed every piece of royal dirty laundry she can find, Carole has never traded on her eldest daughter’s marriage.”

    Honestly, I got nuthin’.

    • Josephine says:

      It’s Opposite Day!! Classic Spongebob episode and fits their garbage to a tee!

    • Debbie says:

      “Where Meghan has exposed every piece of royal dirty laundry she can find, Carole has never traded on her eldest daughter’s marriage.”

      Oh my God. Where to start? They write this drivel just as that loutish football playing knob is on a reality show. Then, they try to compare Meghan to Kate’s mother who, if memory serves, did not marry Queen Eliz’s grandson. Lastly, I must ask, did Meghan expose Charles’ suitcases filled with cash? Did Meghan expose Pedo Andrew’s predilections? Did Meghan expose Charles’ Tampon small talk to his mistress? Geez, these people are scum.

      • Jaded says:

        Did Meghan expose her bare bottom in countless Marilyn Moments or get photographed topless on a beach, or giving her husband oral pleasure on an open balcony? The hypocrisy is staggering.

    • Couch potato says:

      If Meghan HAD exposed that, the RF would be in deeper s*#$ than they already are outside of England. So far it seems like even the worst crimes would just get a shrug and move on in England.

    • bisynaptic says:

      Are they saying there’s a lot of royal dirty laundry?

  13. TheOriginalMia says:

    This article is doing a lot of assuming about Americans. Know what they say about assuming things, Telegraph. Anyway, find me 5 Americans across a large area who could pick Kate or her mother out of a lineup and I’ll eat my hair. These people trashed Meghan. Were xenophobic in the extreme, but Americans just love …checks story… the discreet Kate & Middleton family. Sure, Jan.

  14. Tessa says:

    I notice Carole talks about being with her royal grand children. I don’t hear anything about pipp a s children

  15. Harper says:

    But will The Telegraph come back next year with an equally-long article describing how Ma Mids’ takeover of America failed? Nope.

  16. s808 says:

    Keep trying to convince hope Carole Jenner, cause you won’t be convincing me.

  17. Tessa says:

    The middletons got their own barge for one of the queens jubilee years.

  18. Debbie says:

    The Telegraph: “Americans love Carole Middleton.”
    America: Who!? No, really, who dat?

  19. MaryContrary says:

    As if Meghan would EVER have a huge cardboard likeness of herself next to some environmentally crappy products she’d be shilling in some low brow store. These writers are deranged.

    • Cessily says:

      I didn’t even know what a “shop rite” was until I read it here, and then I thought it was a local drug store or Kmart equivalent. These people are so bitter and pea green with jealousy over the Sussex’s success it shows in every article they put out. They are pushing “disposable” tacky party favors if that isn’t low rent I don’t know what is. Just where are these items made? Are they biodegradable?

      * “is a clever move: anything that sniffs of royalty and the Queen will be popular” how is that not using the Royal branding, dragging the dead queen into their article is just low.

  20. Chantal says:

    How dare they neglect to mention Bruce Springsteen in their Britsplaining (thanks for this Kaiser)!

    These clowns are truly comedy gold! Saying that the American press refers to Katty as KM like the BM always used/uses her correct titles is too funny. A) most don’t care about Katty’s correct title and B) the American press takes their cues about titles from the BM.

    Of course there’s always the obligatory dig at the Sussexes and the requisite below the radar insult about something American or about Americans in every article, while courting American dollars. We see you RRs!

    Oh, and they never mention the war “the colonies” waged against the crown when they give their little “history lessons” (they’re blatantly and hilariously quiet about Boston)…

  21. Laura D says:

    Who’s this article for? The Telegraph is a UK paper telling its UK circulation that the FQC mother is popular in America! Where are the American polls/sells to support this? How many actual AMERICAN sources were used to substantiate the claims made? If this article was in the NYT or Washington Post I *might* give it some credibility!

    Carole Middleton would give her hind teeth to have just one of the deals Meghan struck and the GLOBAL attention that comes with it. The Fail/Telegraph/Express along with 4TakesWooton, Eden, Morgan, Tominey et el would be praising Carole to the rafters if she had managed to strike even a fraction of the international interest that accompanies Meghan.

    The biggest mistake Carole Middleton made was encouraging her daughter and the press to hound the American Duchess out of the UK. It would have been a HUGE advantage for her if she could have used Meghan’s name in the US. Instead she has to use her so-called discretion to act as if Meghan never existed while at the same time reminding everyone she’s the mother of the FQC. SMH

  22. equality says:

    Just what the US needs more disposable crap being imported.

  23. matthew says:

    Stop being so obsessed with us – it’s so embarrassing. Americans do not care about the Middletons. If we literally never saw them again no one would care in the least.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      Us Brits don’t give 2 fks about the Middletons either and they know it.

      kHate and Carol(e)s obsession with the Sussex’s is becoming quite scary and dangerous. They are both beginning to look quite unhinged, esp kHate.

  24. lleepar says:

    It’s a weird way to enter a big, already over-crowded, market. I’d love to know how this deal is legally structured. It hardly seems worth the capital investment, unless exporting branded paper goods isn’t the purpose of the deal.

    • Elizabeth says:

      I don’t know how long Party Pieces has existed, but the time for the Middletons to have entered the American market would have been 11 years ago when William & Kate first got married. It’s 2022, and as many journalists have mentioned, Americans have plenty of places to get inexpensive party paraphernalia. The only thing this deal has going for is that people in a rush now have a convenient way of picking up stuff without going to another store. The Middletons have only gotten this deal because they are royal adjacent, and they have used that connection by putting out products that coincide with the Jubilee, the Royal Wedding, etc.

      • lleepar says:

        You’re right. It’s hard to fathom even how the business connection was made. Maybe Uncle Gary had previous dealings with the family that owns the store.

  25. Digital Unicorn says:

    ‘Carole, member of the royal family’ – this! Carol(e) has ALWAYS thought of herself as royal, the BRF just don’t know it yet.

    I’ve said before that both kHate and sCarol(e) are becoming bolder and bolder, they are trying to setup a Middleton shadow court to undermine Chuck and William.

    Chuck 3.0 is going to have to slap both kHate and her family down hard otherwise they will continue to openly undermine his reign.

    Someone in the media needs to grow a pair of balls and drop the payload on this lot.

  26. Isa says:

    Doria is the epitome of class. That woman is regal.
    Carol tries real hard, but it’s something you have or you don’t.

    • Seraphina says:

      Exactly this. Doria is so discreet we forget about her. I don’t think Ma Middleton has it in her to even fathom that concept.

      • Digital Unicorn says:

        Ole Ma has never had ANY class which is why none of her children do either.

        One day their precious house of cards will crumble and I will be waiting with my wine and nibbles.

  27. Aviva2 says:

    I didn’t even read this. Americans, generally speaking, don’t know who the eff Carole Middleton is. GTFO.

  28. Nic919 says:

    You can tell a British person who has never been to the US wrote this. Few Americans have any idea about Carole Middleton much less kate. And yes there is a section of MAGA racists who might be interested in her stuff only because they are anti Meghan, but that’s not the large group they think it is. A lot of MAGAs aren’t pro British royalty either. Europeans are generally viewed as more liberal which is something this group does not like.

    Carole will have to do an aggressive marketing campaign to made headway in the states and if Sarah Ferguson had difficulty doing it and she was actually a part of the family, Carole as an adjacent will have an even tougher time.

    Party stuff is meant to be cheap and only high recognition names like Martha Stewart, who has entire houseware lines, can charge something more than dirt cheap.

  29. Bettyrose says:

    America loves big flashy weddings and above all else scandals. Unless Carole Middleton’s name is actively attached to one of those things, Americans aren’t thinking about her. I don’t know what to say with this ongoing party supplies thing. I’m torn between respecting her hustle and wondering WTF?

    • Seraphina says:

      I agree with you completely. I do have to say, I was at Wegmans the other day trying to find some birthday decor and could not. But I will tell you this, even of Party Pieces was there I would drive out of my way to go elsewhere – even with the high price of gas.

  30. Moo says:

    People buy their party stuff at the dollar stores. I guarantee you if you polled the shoppers at Shop Rite in NJ, you’d get “ who the f**k is that?”. Delusional.

    • ACB says:

      My hometown Shoprite is one of the ‘elect’, and I haven’t seen a glimpse of Party Pieces products. I really think they just rolled them out in the few Shoprites Ma Middleton visited.

      • Deering24 says:

        Yeah, I’m not betting on seeing her mess in Union or Essex county stores—too much multicultural folks there…🙄🙃

  31. Nutella toast says:

    Generally speaking, Americans don’t do subtle. It’s not our brand lol. If you think “discreetly” tucking into shop rite makes you an icon in the U.S. you don’t know anything about a large swath of U.S. culture.

    • Debbie says:

      Well, I think that does Americans a disservice, while crediting the English with more “subtlety” than I’ve seen thus far. Did you even get a glimpse of the 2-week cavalcade after the queen’s death? The bells, horns, the banners, the gilded edges, the color red everywhere? That’s not how subtlety is done. I mean, Kate’s eye shadow alone should give you pause for thought if you’re ever tempted to suggest that these people are subtle. Don’t fall for the propaganda.

  32. Eating Popcorn says:

    “The more subtle the branding, the better…” Yes, as an American – that’s all I think about, particularly as my reproductive rights are being stripped away… how foolish this is. I don’t want any party decor associated with bringing down the monarchy.

    • BeanieBean says:

      Big cardboard cutouts of yourself are hardly ‘subtle’. These people crack me up, they truly do. Their description of Jersey could have been anywhere USA quite frankly, less the Tony Soprano/Teresa Giudice reference. That was just gratuitous. And it seemed like the first half of the article, at least that excerpted here, was deliberately snarky. And wouldn’t an article in the Telegraph be considered, you know, promotion? Just because Carole didn’t sit down for this doesn’t mean it didn’t come from her PR people (though I’m guessing that just may be herself).

  33. candy says:

    The only discreet Middleton is Michael. Remember when Pippa gave an interview to Matt Lauer (ew)? They lapped up the fame they got post wedding and I believe they had to be reigned in multiple times.

  34. Shawna says:

    Discretion is not an American value!

  35. Case says:

    Lol. Most Americans don’t even know who she is.

  36. Lauren says:

    I was just about rotfl when it mentioned Americans valuing discretion and subtlety, like no we are here for all the bashing and tea spilling (just ask Boston) from celebrities.

    • BeanieBean says:

      Right? In the very same article they reference Tony Soprano and Teresa Giudice. Ooh, yeah, subtle & full of discretion those two.

  37. Ace says:

    I haven’t read the whole article (because why?) but the excerpts here don’t make me think this is a pro-Carole article. Sure, it seems to be but it’s not really making any positive or flattering comparisons.

  38. Jen says:

    “Where Meghan has exposed every piece of royal dirty laundry she can find…” Obviously they missed that Meghan telegraphed in recent interviews that there is so much she hasn’t said simply because that’s where she is right now with her healing, but also, Harry and Meghan don’t expose dirty laundry they “found,” they talk about their personal experiences.

    • MsIam says:

      Meghan hasn’t said one word about Rosebushes has she? I bet she could make bank on what she knows if she was the money grubbing gold digger they make her out to be. I think Meg has been much much kinder to these gold plated losers than they have ever deserved.

  39. sparrow says:

    Discreet is Meghan’s mother, not Kate’s money grabbing mother, who feeds crap to tabloid editors and makes party tat that cashes in on her connections. “Let them eat cake” and all that rubbish she churns out. Exchange “underhand” for “discreet” and you’ve got the Middleton dictionary definition of the word.

    • Nic919 says:

      Exactly. Doria has done zero interviews and she doesn’t show up to social functions for clout. Unlike Carole who has monetized her association to that family for decades and gotten her other children to do the same. The only Middleton who generally stays out of it is Michael.

  40. Laura says:

    The majority of Americans: (Mariah Carey) “I don’t know her”

  41. Snuffles says:

    “America is obsessed with Kate and her family because of how poised but also how discreet they all are. Meghan has done the opposite and she has blown it in their eyes.”

    First of all, America is 332 million strong. And it’s citizens are all over the place in what we do and do not like. We are not a monolith. You do not need to appeal to the majority to carve out a lucrative career in the public eye. The Sussex’s generate enough interest to make them appealing for lucrative business deals.

    And, sure, there probably is a market over here that would be into the Middletons, but people need to be aware they exist. And this whole “their discreet” act won’t cut it. It just means no one is going to know who the fuck you are to give you the time of day. Let alone for them to spend their hard earned money on them.

    I swear these tabloids remain spectacularly and willfully ignorant about everything American.

  42. Well Wisher says:

    So much to unpack with discreet Carole, unexamined emotions and repressed feelings …..
    They are no longer hidden and repressed so much that they surface in every interview, action and especially reaction.

    Is this generational for Carole ?
    What happened to Carole Middleton?
    Why is being mother of the future QC, not enough?

    Materialism cannot fill that emotional abyss.

    What would have been the reactions to Harry had married an identical woman to Meghan, who happened to be an aristocratic?

    An easy supposition; since this mythical person does not exist.

  43. Freddy says:

    If you can find me 10 Shoprite shoppers ANYWHERE who can name three Middletons, I’ll eat A Very English Rose Party Piece.

    • QuiteContrary says:


      • Annalise says:

        What FEW Americans actually do care about Kate Middleton (sorry, “Catherine” 🙄) and her family, definitely do not like them because they’re just so “discrete”. Because they’re not. In the slightest bit discrete. Doria is discrete. Americans that do like Kate & family like her because they’re racist little mean girls who enjoy seeing her sociopathic shenanigans towards Meghan.

        **I meant this to be a stand alone comment, not a reply!! Sorry!!! 😬**

  44. Pumpkin (Was Sofia) says:

    I don’t think most Brits care enough about Carole Middleton. I doubt Americans do either – even for the ones obsessed with Kate.

  45. W says:

    They can’t compare Carole with Doria, so to resort to comparing her to… the Sussexes? Doria, an actually discreet and extremely educated woman who raised another kind, educated and hardworking woman. Compared to party supply store owner who got her start from her drug dealing brother and raised 2 daughters who married wealthy men with one daughter’s failed Today Show tv stint and a son with multiple failed businesses. Being “discreet” are good traits to have as relatives to married-in Royals, yet the same media continues to give a platform to Thomas Markle and the entire Markle Klan? Th only exception to being “discreet” is if you’re slagging and abusing your daughter in the media, right?

  46. Giddy says:

    American here, and I don’t give a sh*t about CM.

  47. Bunny says:

    The ceiling of that store looks filthy. They have dressed up/photoshopped one aisle for CarolCarole. Wake us when she manages to hook Walgreens.

  48. ally says:

    Have you noticed that the Middletons are STEADFAST in everything they do??? That is probably why we are obsessed with them!

  49. kelleybelle says:

    Such unadulterated BS, isn’t it? It’s shameful, and Cameltoe Meanie is behind it. You betcha. Nothing but rot. This is all about childish “me too.” Tominey is such a lying tw*t.

  50. GamerGrrl says:

    I lived in NJ when The Sopranos was on – and it was NOT like The Sopranos then, either.

  51. Elo says:

    Yes because if there are two things Americans are obsessed with, it’s poise and discretion.

    • Saucy&Sassy says:

      Elo, yep! I’m particularly obsessed with poise. What does that even mean? Does anyone bother to read these articles before they get published? If I lived in NJ I would be soooooo insulted.

      Something I’m curious about is the cost of this imported crap. Does anyone live near a Rite Aide that has this stuff and can comment?

  52. Heyhey22 says:

    The ole saying “The most dangerous place for a a black or POC to be in is an obsessed white person’s mind”…. is becoming more apparent than ever smh.

  53. Deering24 says:

    “ New Jersey is pure The Sopranos territory: multi-lane highways, strip-light malls and a strong Italian immigrant population.”

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Great Jumpin’ Jesus, really!?!? Because there isn’t any shore, countryside, mountains, and a strong multiculti population, right? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣🤣

  54. L4Frimaire says:

    I really don’t understand what they’re trying to do with this article. There’s always a sneering undertone when talking about the Middleton’s, they can’t help themselves, even when supposedly trying to say nice things about Carole with an ‘e’. That woman really believes her own hype and most of I’d just shrug. Also, they’re bringing in the Tatler approach to going after Meghan just because, even though she is not remotely relevant to this story about products that will end up in a landfill.

  55. AnneL says:

    First, most Americans have no idea who Carole Middleton is nor do they care to know.

    Second, the woman who plotted and manipulated to get her daughter the prince and the title and the ring is anything but discreet.

    Third, as others have said, we have more than enough places to get party gear already. I’m a Halloween fanatic. I don’t do Christmas (Jewish), so I like to give out little toys as well as candy on Halloween. This year I bought some little items and some decor from Amazon, Oriental Trading, 99 Cents Only, The Dollar Store and Ebay. No need for any Party Pieces stuff.

    Finally, I’m from New Jersey. It has to be one of the most misunderstood states in the country. It’s the most densely populated, for one. There are tons of towns crowded on top of each other, and two towns five miles apart might be wildly different in appearance and culture. There are ugly stretches of highways and strip malls and lovely bucolic spreads and horse farms and cranberry bogs and mysterious pine barrens. There are people from every background imaginable. It’s diverse in every way.

    I’m proud to be from there, actually. I love Bruce Springsteen. Carole Middleton can stay in Berkshire and cool her kitten heels.

  56. Relly says:

    I’m sorry, someone really said “the usually publicity-shy Carole Middleton” with a STRAIGHT FACE?

  57. Bella says:

    Being a new yawker who married a jersey boy thus forcing me to live here for all eternity, I hate having to defend joisey.

    That said, I think Taylor Ham and jughandles are more representative of jersey than the sopranos or stupid housewives lol (those who know, know)

    But seriously, NJ is the garden state. Farmland, horse farms, the shore, mountains/skiing…. Come on now.

  58. Emily_C says:

    Ah yes, in America, land of the Kardashians, we love discretion.

    The Middletons aren’t discreet anyway, but also — who? We have so many other things to think about here!

  59. Ashley says:

    Do these people ever stop? Coming to America sneering their noses down at us while looking for a handout, the audacity. I was rewatching the Crown to make way for season 5 and it was the episode where Margaret has to get a loan from President Johnson. It reminded me that for decades all the Brits do is come to America acting superior with their hands out. From men who married new money heiresses to this social climber, all of them grasping for money, while going on about how superior they are to the little Americans.

    I hope Brexit drowns that little island once and for all.

    Please fellow Americans tell them where they can stick their grubby, grasping hands. They will no doubt come to us yet again begging for money as they always do. Let them fend for themselves.