Ben Affleck looked perkier in Santa Monica after his visible misery at the Grammys

Here are some photos of Ben Affleck on Monday in Santa Monica, just hours after his misery at the Grammys alongside his wife Jennifer Lopez. People are still talking about Ben’s openly miserable vibe and there is all kinds of analysis. What does it mean, is Ben already over being married to J.Lo, is there already trouble in paradise? My take is that he was in a foul mood for various reasons, but not specifically about J.Lo. I think he didn’t want to be there and/or he only went because Jennifer asked him. Keep in mind, we didn’t see any cutaways to Ben snapping at Jen or treating her or anyone else badly – he just looked bored and indifferent for the most part. Hell, maybe he even had an inkling that Beyonce was about to snubbed for Album of the Year and he was like “this f–king sucks preemptively.”

Something else I’ve been thinking about is… this was actually the first big awards show Ben and Jen have attended together since their reunion. I suspect J.Lo is angling for an Oscars invite and this was the dry-run! She hasn’t been to the Oscars since 2019, back when she was with Alex Rodriguez and he was her date. She did go to the 2020 Golden Globes too. Come on – J.Lo has been dying to walk a big awards-show red carpet with Ben, to put a bow on this whole reunion and the fact that she finally got him down the aisle. Jen and Ben didn’t walk the Grammy red carpet either, which says to me that she’s “saving” that exclusive for the Oscars (she hopes).

J.Lo posted this to her IG – “Always the best time with my love, my husband.” LOL. That’s their dynamic though – she’s upbeat, positive, optimistic, crazy in love. And he’s a misery-guts.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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48 Responses to “Ben Affleck looked perkier in Santa Monica after his visible misery at the Grammys”

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  1. Frippery says:

    Thank you for pointing out that he wasn’t snapping or rude or grabbing her arm or anything untoward. He just looked …… tired. If we’re going to extend the benefit of the doubt to Taylor Swift about her face when Jill Biden came on-stage, we can give Ben a break and not predict doom and divorce because he looked bored at the Grammys.

    I think it’s a little sweet if he went to something he wasn’t interested in at all because he knew it would make Jennifer happy or because he knew she really wanted him to be with her. I mean, I wish he would have looked a little bit perkier but it’s nice if you think about it that way.

    • Christine says:

      He looks like I always looked when I had to go to my son’s winter and spring sings when he was in elementary school. I would find it weirder if he looked thrilled to be there, are these things fun for anyone but the winners?

    • arhu says:

      Tired or just RBF! I know I look miserable in photos when I am not, just how my face rests!

    • Debbie says:

      Let’s face it, if Ben Affleck hadn’t been there then the press and commenters would be saying why couldn’t he just show up to please her? Is there trouble in paradise, and so on. Also, if those pictures above are images of Ben looking “perky in Santa Monica” then I’m a monkey’s uncle. I suspect that’s his usual resting face. And for those who would point out that he managed to look pleasant when he was with Ana What’s-her-name, maybe he did but this was a girlfriend who was decades younger, as opposed to a wife who’s a contemporary of his. I’m sure Bennifer 2.0 will let us know when and if there’s a problem, people should pace themselves.

  2. Anonymous says:

    They had an argument on camera and they also had one at the Shotgun Wedding premiere on camera. There were lip readers who transcribed both, you can read online, but you don’t need a lip reader, you can read the body language. Hopefully he isn’t drinking again and she isn’t feeling like she is always stressed about him drinking or enabling. All that to say that just because a married couple gets caught fighting doesn’t mean it’s on the rocks, some of them stick around and work ot out. Like the But I didn’t see him snap

    • Wendy says:

      I love when people trot out lipreading and body language like they aren’t just pure made-up nonsense, lol.

      • Annalise says:

        @Wendy- I’m with u on the body language. 99.999% of it is utter horseshit and i think one of the main problems with, in particular, YouTube body language “experts”, is that almost all of them have VERY obvious agendas, which invalidate any and all of their “analysis”.
        Lip reading, however,has been used by the hearing impaired for decades. Does that mean that the so called “lip readers” purporting to read Afflecks and JLos lips are legit? Definitely not.

    • julia says:

      So much judgement and speculation in one comment lol.

    • Gail says:

      He’s very much an introvert and may suffer from depression as well. People just need to give him a break and stop with the “trouble in paradise” rumors.

    • MaryContrary says:

      The “lip reader’s” commentary was completely nonsensical so I’m going to take that with a big grain of salt.

      • BrainFog 💉💉💉😷 says:

        It is nonsensical indeed. I’ve seen two completely different “lip readings” of this same video just this morning. One was about drinking, the other about looking more enthusiastic. People are just projecting, me thinks.

  3. girl_ninja says:

    I thought that clip showed a typical married couple or a typical couple period. I’ve seen Beyonce give Jay the eye too. It really isn’t a big deal.

    • Kebbie says:

      I thought the same thing. I actually found it kind of cute. It looks like she kind of pretend scolded him and he took orders and sat up a little straighter.

      There’s always commentary on “sad Affleck” and how he looks miserable. I really think it’s just his resting face. His version of RBF.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      This is my favourite Scottish comedienne doing a voice over of a clip of them – be warned she has a very strong Glasgow accent, its funny. She does a lot of these types of voice overs.

    • Green Desert says:

      @girl_ninja, totally agree. People are looking for any tiny sign of discord between these two so that they can be like “see, it’s not gonna last!!!” I saw a phrase like “annoyed affection” somewhere, and that’s what it looks like to me.

    • Christine says:

      I agree, this is the most relatable Ben Affleck has been, for me, in a while.

      Digital Unicorn, that clip is HYSTERICAL, thank you, I had never heard of her. I am going to be saying, “you do this ev’ry feckin’ time” in my head all day.

  4. Nic919 says:

    The Grammys telecast was four hours alone and they got there before that. I think a lot of it was being bored.

  5. Jillian says:

    His face looks so tightly pulled that he can’t close his mouth or have his glasses sit right

  6. Wendy says:

    Man’s got major anxiety that he used to medicate with substances, now he’s in recovery from those substances and stuck at a function where most people around him are lit up like the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, with cameras in his face all the time. I’d probably have my RBF face on, too.

    • Smalltowngirl says:

      This. He has commented in the past that he finds these events stressful, everyone says that these events are mind-numbingly boring and most people there were drinking or high and he is trying to stay sober, in that case I’d looked bored and stressed too.

  7. Twin Falls says:

    The JLo glow up didn’t last long.

  8. JustMe says:

    Not sure what the timing of the pictures were (before or after her presentation) but to me it looked like he wanted to slip out for a smoke?

  9. Turtledove says:

    I am not part of the Hollywood scene and I like celeb gossip etc (obv) and I think even *I* would be bored at that event. Add to it that he can’t even have a cocktail? I do think it’s funny that his face is giving it all away, but I doubt that means they are on the rocks.

  10. LadyE says:

    I feel bad for Ben because I know he doesn’t like this Sad Affleck stuff and he’s talked about his annoyance at people reading too much into his facial expressions and his concerns that his kids will think something is seriously wrong with him. With that said ROFL at that dog though!!!!

  11. Kaye says:

    I am not a Ben Affleck fan, but I totally sympathize.

    Since I was a little girl I’ve received comments like, “What are you so mad about?” and “If you’d smile you’d be prettier,” and “You look like you just lost your only friend.” I have resting bitch face, and no matter how hard I try, the forced smile wears off occasionally. I am generally happy to be wherever I am; my face just doesn’t show it.

    • Jessica says:

      🙋🏼‍♀️I have big time RBF, and I hate it when people say “Smile!”🙄

    • Chaine says:

      I do too and I’m so sick of people and their obnoxious concern over my face. When I have to go to an event I actually set reminders on my phone for every so many minutes that say “smile” so that I try to remember not to leave my face in the relaxed mode which apparently upsets others.

    • Turkeylurkey says:

      I absolutely identify with this. That’s why I love the masks so much 😂
      I wish I had worn one back when I was working. It’s exhausting having men tell you to smile constantly.

    • Debbie says:

      I thought it something that only happened to me, until the internet came along, and I saw other women saying the same thing. Years ago, I would be walking down a street, minding my own business and men I’d never met before would bark at me to “Smile!” Just that. They wouldn’t say anything else. At first, I thought they were trying to be friendly, but later I grew to resent being ordered to smile like that. I mean, if you think someone looks sad and you want to cheer them up, then just say “Hello” or something. Don’t just bark “Smile!” at them.

  12. Caribbean says:

    All I can say is, thank God my guy and I are not celebs. He would whisper the most inappropriate things (about someone or any given topic) when we are out to get a rise out of me. That’s what that looked like to me and JLo saying ‘Behave Ben’

  13. teehee says:

    My take— you know this was days of preparation and hullaballoo. And definitely ON the day, a whole lot of racket surely went down in terms of preparation, photographers, stylists, publicists, chauffeurs etc etc etc

    And then there’s the EVENT.

    I would be exhausted too.

  14. Solidgold says:

    Ben is depressed addict. I assume he is on anti depressant and as someone up post said he is surrounded by people partying and drinking heavily. Ben should have stayed home.

  15. ChewieNYC says:

    This is exactly how my husband looks when I take him to the theater or something music related that he has absolutely no interest in… but he goes because it’s something I would like to do. He also doesn’t drink, so he has to be around a lot of loud intoxicated people at the same time and while he finds it amusing for a little bit he’d rather go home and chill out. Give Ben a pass here, that’s a long day.

  16. Sue E Generis says:

    Their energy is off. There’s a terseness/tension. It’s not even the same as last year when they were dating. I was rooting for them but I don’t think they’re going to make it. He looks like he’s literally in agony and she looks annoyed but pretending for the cameras. Not just at the Grammys, they had a similar interaction at her movie premiere.

  17. AnneL says:

    When I saw the pics of him at the event yesterday I felt sympathy. I would hate that type of thing. I like going to a party or a concert, but this is different. For celebs like J-Lo, this is a BFD. They have to look right, act right, smile at the right time. For hours. On camera. It’s a chore. Or at least it would be for me.

    I have two sisters-in-law who LOVE to take family pictures. Practically the only thing on the walls or tabletops in their homes are photos or giclee prints made from photos, etc. Whenever we have a family get-together with all of the kids, there comes the inevitable “Picture Time” moment when everyone has to drop their conversations and activities and gather for the picture, get into position, smile, pose, do it until it’s right.

    Do I like having the record of the family event? Sure. But I HATE the process of taking the pictures. And don’t even get me started on the beach vacay where we were all supposed to wear the same color shirt. It gave me heartburn.

    That is the look Ben is giving in those pictures from the Grammys.

    • Julia K says:

      @annel, I am that person. When I sense that people are about ready to leave, I line them all up for family picture time and take a few shots just to be sure. Someday you will thank me.

  18. AmelieOriginal says:

    To be fair to Ben, he’s done a lot of award shows. I’m sure they’re exciting when you’re new and young to the entertainment industry, but over time you realize just how boring they are. You have to sit there and look engaged for 4+ hours. J. Lo loves the camera, she always has and she loves red carpets. It’s her thing. She loves to get glammed up and be seen out and about. I don’t know how it doesn’t get old to her but she is very outgoing. Ben can be very engaging in interviews but I don’t think he can hide just how annoying/tedious these events are and I think he’s just more of a homebody at this point.

  19. Yonati says:

    Sometimes, back when I was a teacher, I would have to be a chaperone at middle school dances. The music was so loud, with flashing lights, at the end of a school day…. I trained myself to go into a kind of trance where I could block out the sensory overload. Ben’s look reminds me of that.

  20. honeychild says:

    I think (hope) that people are just having fun with this whole “sad Affleck” thing. All the lip reading and body language analysis experts that pop up when we get brief clips and glimpses into celeb lives is plain weird to me and are not meant to be taken seriously. It’s kinda cruel imo, but hopefully, for his own mental health, and his and JLo’s kids as well, the Affleck-Lopez family is unbothered by folks joking that your father/stepfather is unhappy with his life. For what it’s worth, I have seen articles by ET and EW stating their eyewitnesses at the Grammys say that Ben in fact seemed to have a good time, was mingling in the crowd with other actors there as well as Jay Z , and he and Jennifer were affectionate throughout the evening. It’s interesting how photos of some of these moments exist but they aren’t being sought out and shared like those that continue the “sad Affleck” narrative.

    • Karisma says:

      I agree with everything you just said 👋

    • Samira says:

      I think there is a vendetta/bullying again against them like in 2002…there was a honeymoon phase at first and now gloves are off. It’s sad that ppl are so miserable that they wish the worst on ppl…

  21. K8erade says:

    I get the vibe that Ben has been “over” fame for awhile. Without making this insulting, I still think fame and attention is J.Lo’s drug of choice. So I think there’s a lot of compatibility issues to work out to make their relationship work. I think Ben and J.Lo are on separate planes and I’ve always gotten the vibe from Ben that he’d rather be where he isn’t and has trouble staying present in his relationships. He was like that in his marriage to Jennifer Garner too.

  22. Escape says:

    Ben is an excellent actor. This makes me wonder why he couldn’t just act like he was happy to be at the Grammy’s supporting his wife’s industry. Does he not care enough about his wife?

    • LBB says:

      That is exactly how he used to look when he attended events with Jennifer Garner and people used to comment how unhappy he was with her. I always wondered why he could not just fake it for the cameras and act happy a bit. I have no idea if he was happy with JG or if he is happy with JL?

  23. Murphy says:

    I figured he was dealing with a lot of cravings.

  24. Mel says:

    I’m and extrovert/ introvert. When you’re overwhelmed that’s how you look. It’s noisy , crowded and I imagine the day is longer than long just getting ready, going through traffic and the having to sit there for HOURS. While you’re doing this cameras are being stuck in your face and so called body language experts are dissecting every little thing you do so they can babble on about how awful you/ or your marriage is. Meh, let the guy alone.

  25. j.ferber says:

    I’m over giving him the benefit of the doubt. He could have looked more enthusiastic to be at her work event. He’s an actor so he could fake it. No, he didn’t do anything untoward, but if I were his wife, I’d be pissed that he couldn’t have perked up for her. I’m sure she’s done plenty of things for him that she wasn’t thrilled about, but did graciously out of good will and courtesy toward him. He embarrassed her because of all the negative attention he drew. I don’t care what woman he’s with: she will always give more than he ever does.

  26. Karisma says:

    A tiktok from a sit filler who was sitting right next to Ben and jlo during the Grammys, she said they were super lovey dovey, jlo informed Ben during the performance he had become a meme and he was like “oh my god Jesus christ,not this again ” but didn’t change his expression. I mean how could he? It’s his face. Lol!