Whenever I cover the catastrophically embarrassing Thomas Markle and Samantha Markle, I always have to remind myself that the Princess of Wales has embarrassing relations too, only Kate’s relations are often being tasked to behave or say certain things to “embiggen” Kate specifically. It would be like Thomas Markle getting talking points from Meghan instead of Piers Morgan. That’s what Gary Goldsmith is like – Gary is Kate’s uncle and Carole Middleton’s brother. Gary is a convicted wife-beater and really dodgy overall. I’m also starting to wonder if none of these people have as much money as they’ve always claimed. I always thought that Gary had quietly financed Carole’s life and the lives of Carole’s children (because Party Pieces never cut it), but given Gary’s overeagerness to (I would assume) get paid to talk sh-t about the Sussexes, I kind of wonder if Gary is just as broke-ass as the Middletons.
Anyway, last December and January, Goldsmith was all over the Daily Mail, crying about how the Duchess of Sussex is “jealous” of Kate, and how Prince Harry’s Spare was full of stories of Meghan being rude to poor Kate and William. Gary was sent out specifically to “refute” the Sussexes’ Netflix series and Harry’s Spare. It didn’t work. Well, now Uncle Gary is here to tell us what to think about Harry’s breezy appearance at the coronation. The Mail gave Gary a byline, like he “wrote” this, but at the end of the piece, the Mail notes: “As told to Claudia Joseph.” So someone else wrote it and Gary just performed it or put his name on it. Some bonkers highlights:
When he saw Prince Harry at the Chubbly: The Waleses – Kate, William and Charlotte and Louis – all looked amazing and were for many of us the most confident and relaxed in this setting. More than could be said of Prince Harry, just a few rows behind, who looked disengaged and like a petulant, sulking teenager.
Kate is the monarchy’s most prized asset: So how has this sporty little girl, who so loved dousing me, her Uncle Gary, in water fights in the Middleton family back garden, become the future Royal Family’s most prized asset? Knowing her like I do, I’d say it is her authenticity. She’s a very genuine person. I don’t think you could pretend to be anything you’re not when you’re in the spotlight for a never-ending period of time. The cracks would show.
Harry is the “brat” according to Gary: There was Harry, awkward personified, behaving like a spoilt brat, flying back to LA that quickly for his son’s birthday party. I mean… you get a birthday every year, whereas your father becoming King is kind of a big deal. He was trying desperately hard to make the day about him and it was absolutely brilliant everybody ultimately ignored him. Harry who?
The evolving Royal Family: My favourite moment of the day was the encore on the balcony when Charles came back out to wave at everybody. It was the first time I had seen his face relax. The tension just dropped away. As for the comment that the balcony was ‘too white’, I’ve never been so offended by something on TV. I think we can all appreciate the fact that the Royal Family is evolving fairly rapidly, and if it’s not Usain Bolt fast enough for everybody, then I think they need to get over themselves – change is obviously happening. Forget Meghan and Harry, the Prince and Princess of Whining. The King and Queen and Prince and Princess of Wales are the new Fab Four.
Again, this is just as embarrassing as any of Thomas Markle’s interviews. The only difference is that Gary has been tasked with flattering William and Kate and he’s doing this with the Windsors’ permission. They want him out there, calling Harry names and saying all of this crap. It’s also still kind of amazing that everyone from Gary Goldsmith to the royal reporters to Prince William’s leaky office are all still singularly focused on Harry’s quickie coronation appearance. “Harry who?” The Harry you can’t stop talking about. Harry wasn’t sulking either – he looked like a king in his Dior suit, and all eyes were on him, nationally and internationally. Anyhoodle, is Gary Goldsmith desperate for cash or something? It’s pathetic that he keeps getting rolled out to bash the Sussexes.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
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- Gary Goldsmith turns up to court for sentencing charged with domestic assault of Julie-Ann outside their central London home,Image: 356321976, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no
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- Gary Goldsmith arrives at the wedding of Pippa Middleton and James Matthews at St Mark’s Church, Englefield, Berkshire, UK. 20/05/2017.,Image: 513155276, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: NO UK USE FOR SEVEN DAYS- Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251, Model Release: no, Credit line: – / Avalon
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- Gary Goldsmith arrives at the wedding of Pippa Middleton and James Matthews at St Mark’s Church, Englefield, Berkshire, UK. 20/05/2017.,Image: 513155285, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: NO UK USE FOR SEVEN DAYS- Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251, Model Release: no, Credit line: – / Avalon
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- The Duke of Sussex arriving arriving ahead of the coronation ceremony of King Charles III and Queen Camilla at Westminster Abbey, central London. Featuring: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex Where: London, United Kingdom When: 06 May 2023 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- Departures from Westminster Abbey after the Coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla. Featuring: Prince Harry Where: London, United Kingdom When: 06 May 2023 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- Prince Harry leaving Westminster following the coronation ceremony of King Charles III and Queen Camilla in central London, UK on May 6, 2023. Photo by Raphael Lafargue/ABACAPRESS.COM Featuring: Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex Where: London, United Kingdom When: 06 May 2023 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The British Royal family make an appearence on the balcony of Buckingham Palace after the Coronation Where: London, United Kingdom When: 06 May 2023 Credit: Dutch Press Photo/Cover Images **NOT AVAILABLE FOR PUBLICATION IN THE NETHERLANDS OR FRANCE**
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- Prince William of Wales and Catherine Princess of Wales during appearance on the Buckingham Palace balcony to watch the flypast after the procession and the coronation of the new King and Queen at Westminster Abbey in London, UK. Featuring: William, Prince of Wales and Catherine, Princess of Wales Where: London, United Kingdom When: 06 May 2023 Credit: Dutch Press Photo/Cover Images **NOT AVAILABLE FOR PUBLICATION IN THE NETHERLANDS OR FRANCE**
They’re just going to keep trotting out this drunk hairy beet, aren’t they?
He and Tucker Carlson’s face provoke similar reactions in me.
This from a trash woman beater. Screw yourself Gary.
I think things are really bad with Peg and Can’t and Carole has him out there shilling for her. Carole seems to call on him when she either needs money or more swell Can’t stories. Something is up.
Only came to say, “Gary, go powder your nose AGAIN”
😂😂😂😂 good one Mary!
Oh look. Panicked Kate and Carol(E) have sent out wife-beating Uncle Hookers-and-Blow to do anti-Sussex talk. Again. Guess he really wants his Duke of Slough (LOL) title.
the Middletons must be really rattled after the coronation to release Uncle Gary like this. It’s like if they keep saying Harry looked miserable and isolated at the coronation people will believe it.
If Charles and Camilla and W&K are the new fab four……sorry britain lol.
Fab 4 is a code name for dysfunctional. Either that or the Beatles cursed its usage by anyone else.
Why would anyone want to put their name to something so snide and abhorrent? He’s comfortable being racist and hostile, nationalist out in the open. Britain…come and get your boy. He’s shilling for fascists.
I think Uncle Gary is out there on approval. Camilla’s benched from briefing against Harry for the time being.
He’s 100% there on approval but its Kate’s approval, not William’s or Charles. Note how his focus is on how amazing Kate is.
Chuck and sCam need to refocus their ire and attention from H&M and put it squarely on W&K. Between this article from the drug dealing Cokehead to the article where William is public planning his dance on Charles’ grave it is clear that the closer they get to the throne the worse W&K are. If I were Charles I would unleash the hounds of hell on William and make myself the last King.
I don’t understand at all why they let Gary out to say anything. It just looks bad on them. Makes Kate’s family look trashy. Is it really worth it just so he can say: Harry and Meghan bad; Kate good, the best, the blessed savior.
Now if Meghan had rolled any of her crackpot relatives out to try and boost her image, all hell would break loose. But I guess since its Keen, its fine for Uncle Batterer to spout off. But good, every time he opens his big pie hole, I know the Squad will break out those articles no one wants us to see.
“The cracks would show.” They have. When she jumped on George at Pippa’s wedding, when she’s glared at Meghan, when she said “next” when someone mentioned Meghan…. And how exactly are the RF “evolving”? Did he not see the same-old on the balcony. Oh, yeah, KC let a few people of other cultures perform for him at his expensive con.
lol, everything is always opposite in their little reality, up is down.
“The Waleses – Kate, William and Charlotte and Louis – all looked amazing and were for many of us the most confident and relaxed in this setting” – yep, sure Jan…
“Knowing her like I do, I’d say it is her authenticity. She’s a very genuine person.” – authentic so much that’s always smoke and mirrors with them.
what a load of drivel, as per usual.
“Relaxed” cracked me up.
Will and Kate were wound TIGHT that morning. Which, I totally get. It was a tremendously important day with an unpredictable pre-schooler and the entire world watching. (And they were running late AND they were making some instagram reel thing.) I can’t imagine the pressure they were all under, and as a parent of small kids, I’m genuinely sympathetic.
But to call them “confident” and “relaxed” with a straight face is ridiculous.
How many photos of glaring looks did we see between them in that day? More than one and with an international audience.
They’re all such sordid, tacky people. The royal family and all their vicious chatty pets give me the ick
My feelings exactly. The story should be this-Harry did his duty: he showed up for the ceremony proper, he didn’t bring Meghan and his screaming kids, end of story.
To these people, prioritizing your own child before some endless royal event just doesn’t fit their world view.
“Pets” for courtiers is brilliant, and they are indeed vicious. Thanks for that.
Projection. It was Harry that was relaxed and Will and Kate that were awkward. And “spoilt brat” is the Waleses being late…likely due to filming a propaganda video.
And why shouldn’t Harry have left? He wasn’t invited to anything else. It’s hardly spoilt brat to leave when you’ve finished attending the event you were invited to.
Literal video of Harry walking into the Abbey giving smiles and joking with the Archbishop but yes let’s pretend he was the one giving glares and not Kate and William.
Carole is worried.
You know things are going downhill when you need Wife Beating Public Pissing Uncle to speak on your behalf. My, my, my.
Like really, who thought: Meghan setting a toe outside her house gets more attention that we do, the British Royal Family? Hmm, what to do! I know! Let’s call Casa de Bang Bang and bring Uncle Hookers and Blow to the rescue! That’ll show them!
@lanne, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. You made me broke my 2023 resolution of not giving my time to the UK madness. Thanks for helping me 😆 hard.
Thank you @Lanne. LOL!!!
Uncle Hookers, the cracks *are* showing.
The only crack Uncle Hookers can see is the crack he’s smoking.
There a sound on tik tok that is someone sarcastically saying “oh no! I’m devastated!” And I hear that in my head every time one of these articles attempting to shame Harry comes out. He doesn’t care about what these people think. He’s happy and thriving.
“It would be like Thomas Markle getting talking points from Meghan instead of Piers Morgan.”
This is a brilliant way of describing the Middletons!
Imagine how much the Markle clan would be evicerated if they ran to the press to speak out in Meghan’s favor and said these same glowing comments about Meghan and Harry and the negative comments about W&K. They would be ROASTED and certainly they would never be given a platform to “write” an article for a newspaper – their praise would only be able to be put up on their private YouTube channel.
You can’t pretend to be something you’re not all the time. The cracks would show.
Narrator: the cracks are showing.
He always makes things worse for the Middletons and Catty, and yeah things must be bad when he’s out trying to deflect from the mess Catty and Peggy made of their coronation appearances. The fact that the press are still talking about their lateness and general bad attitude is telling – hence this and Peggy’s coronation story. They are desperate to deflect from the sh!tshow going on BtS.
Its only a matter of time before the lid is lifted on the state of that marriage and there is NOTHING the Mids can do to stop that.
Also am not convinced Gary is as wealthy as he once was – he sold his IT recruitment business for a LOT of money but he seems to live a life of idleness so me thinks he blown most of that money.
Hookers and cocaine doesn’t buy itself. He may not be the most conventional looking pole dancer, but homeboy’s working that pole like the rent is due (or his dealer’s balance in any case).
Why is he not seen as the utter embarrassment he is to Kate? I’m sure he is behind the scenes, but an Uncle Gary would have been a deal breaker in earlier generations. (So would gum chewing, works for a living mama Carole).
The most embarrassing individual in the Royal Family is Andrew — client of Epstein, man with a giant teddy collection, who marched in his velvet robes with as much acceptance and protection the whole institution can offer. That’s how low the bar is.
I definitely think the Middletons & uncle Gary are living high while having a negative net worth. I wonder how much uncle Gary got paid for this desperate trash article.
He’s living high, for sure.
If I were Kate, I would be dying of embarrassment. But Kate has no shame.
I bet the turnip toffs are laughing their asses off at how pathetic the Middletons are.
Gary could be desperate for cash, but just as equally, Kate (and William?) are desperate for Gary to put out this message that tells us our eyes are lying. As if we didn’t see who was actually relaxed at the coronation, which was Harry. As if we didn’t see who the true spoiled brats are, the couple that was late after making a “me me me” propaganda doc and then blaming it on their kids. They’re doing the most to tell us our eyes are lying to us. Also if you have to repeatedly swear over and over how authentic someone is…yeah, they’re not authentic.
Uncle Hooks and Blow capes for Kate, not for William.
Agree but then why doesn’t William slap that down? Having Gary out there talking doesn’t look good. It either means William is more or less okay with Gary running his mouth or he has no control over his wife’s middleton PR angle. Maybe he doesn’t care idk.
This goes in William’s “things to take out and use against the Middletons when the time is right” file.
Did they have this prepped for post-con publication before Harry showed up looking confident and sexy? Because it sure seems like they did.
Well, if he wants to be consistent, he should say that his niece’s children go to school five days a week, go to bed every day and get Easter, summer, Christmas and whatever breaks every year, so their parents shouldn’t try to be so hands-on all the time.
Just an observation, but that balcony pic…they all look as if you could bounce bricks on their faces! Happy and relaxed left the building eons ago, Uncle Gazza.
I find the Waleses beyond pathetic . Even among ordinary folk like us, we do suck it up and show an amicable front at weddings , funerals and other family dos . We smile, shake hands and murmur politely even if there are people we cannot bear. Why make an exhibition of our private lives . Harry and Meghan smile and speak when spoken to but the Wales couple glare daggers and avoid any proximity at all ..this too when the whole world can see and remark upon their ugly behaviour . Our very plebeian parents taught us better manners .
😂 this 🤡
I blame Elizabeth and philip for allowing kate to marry in.
I say papa markel is better because; this is a cultural thing; he is bashing HIS family. At the end of the day the Markels’ stuff is between them. And Thomas does know when to shut up or when to delay his “takes”. Honestly I don’t watch t Markel because I know he is hurt and wants money.
With goldsmith he is bashing someone who has no connection with him. He has never giving anything to megan. So for him to make a buck off her is uncouth. He is purely kate mouthpiece.
In the olden days megan would’ve got Thomas jr to smack uncle Gary. LOL.
William is to blame. He rranged the engagement press conference without informing his father or grandmother. He only told QEII an hour before the press arrived, he didn’t seek permission to marry Kate as he was legally required to do. After that press conference, it wasn’t like QEII could publicly refuse to let Kate marry in.
Gary has likely never even met Meghan. Also Thomas Markle actually did criticize the RF at the very beginning. Didn’t he say they were cult-like or something? Real quick, right after that, he somehow completely changed his tune and the RF became the untouchable amazing ones and Meghan became the villainess. Funny how that happened…
I see no excuses for tom he gets money by hurting his daughter complaining about her to the media and getting money for it. Uncle Gary and tom are alike
Both are self righteous hypocrites
Uncle Hookers and Blow is showing Future Kween Kate has trash in her family and they are no better than the Markles. You really want a public urinator and an adjudicated wife beater as your defender? Uncle Gary’s sordid past get resurrected on social media every time he runs down the Sussexes. No wonder the aristos look down on the Middletons and Kate. The toffs are messy but they don’t put it out there.
The Sussex Squad is already on this, circulating the News of the World video of Uncle Hookers-and-Blow offering drugs and prostitutes to undercover reporters at “Casa de Bang Bang.”
The Duke of Slough needs to shut his pie-hole and keep H&M’s names out of his disgusting mouth.
These clowns cannot decide if they’re coming or going.
Carole literally repeatedly briefed on how H&M should stay away and then when Harry appears they complain he zipped away too soon.
Maybe that’s why Kitty wore Meg’s heals to try and draw Harry in.
Uncle Gary punched his wife and preaches to harry about leaving after the coronation to go to Archie birthday party. What nerve Gary has. He needs to keep quiet
There’s no way he’s doing this without Kate’s permission. Harry’s presence at the coronation really rattled William and Kate.
He’s doing this at Kate’s instruction.
I’d say Kate is authentic, but not in the way Uncle Gary would like to interpret. Kate is authentically what we see – someone with few interests, with a miniscule body of work, who’s awkward in public and unable to speak clearly and confidently, who is spiteful to others, who can never seem to get things quite right.
So before the Chubbly everyone was so happy to say how much Harry was unwelcome and would be in Iceland. Then Meghan stays home, Harry shows up looking amazing in Dior, smiles and leaves immediately as was intended. Now, over a week later, they are still moaning about Harry not being at events he wasn’t invited to. He was the most interesting thing at that somber ceremony and everyone knows it. Why are the Middleton’s miffed about it? Did they not get enough attention?
I am making an immediate appointment with the eye doctor because if Harry was the one who looked miserable and petulant and Kate and will and their children were the happy ones . Then I am not seeing right. Just when I think that Gary the coke bottle cancer is gone for good, he pops up again . Jfc. The desperation to make Kate happen is real
Uncle Gary in January when spare came out: Meghan is so unclassy how dare she wear jeans and no shoes to meet the future king for the first time??? (Never mind the fact that they were invited into her own home)
Uncle Gary in May: oh Kate and William are soooo down to earth, the first time I met him was at Carole’s house and we were all in sweaters and jeans in the kitchen and not in the formal dining room, that’s how unfussy they both are…
Coke must addle your brain so much that you can’t even keep up with your own BS 🙄
I can’t help but feel that this is one of the rare bits posted that just gives the megaphone to the circus. Who cares what this rando thinks? He’s only saying hateful shit so people will talk about him, and he doesn’t deserve for it to work.
I’m not sure who gave him these talking points, but they’re really bad. Anyone with any ability to think had expected Harry to leave immediately after the coronation. He came, he saw, he left. This is what the brf wanted. We know this because they didn’t invite him to anything else, although I’m not convinced he would have attended anything else.
Harry did nothing to make the Clowning about him. In fact, I thought he was very low key. He was relaxed and joking and talking to people. All of this while dressed in Dior and looking mighty, mighty fine.
I think someone figured out that the world saw that the brf behaved quite badly toward Harry, Meghan and Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet. Now they need to flip the narrative that in some way it’s Harry’s fault that something or other. Too little, too late.
I totally believe he financed the Middleton’s lifestyle. If Uncle Gary is shilling for $ (I guess it would be for £ more accurately) because he really is broke now, that would definitely explain why casserole is trying to sell Party Pieces.
They all need to close their mouths and scurry back into their rats nests.
Funny how Karma works. The Middletons are showing their true colors to everyone – literally a laughing stock of a family. Desperate and Pathetic.
Someone pls conjugate “spoil” for us Americans. “Spoilt” isn’t really a word.
So old wife beater Gary thinks that Harry should have stayed around for the rest? Why? He saw his fathers coronation. Now he could still fly back in time for celebrating with his son. Just because Charles did not put his sons first does not mean that Harry is going to do the same.Meghan is classier than Kate’s unlcle in more ways than one.
We all knew in America , that when you visit a Country you’re expected to be civil and committed in adapting what your visiting Country’s ways and Culture … Royals are suppose and expected to be Civil and Understanding to those from another Country… This did not happen with Meghan marrying Harry which is very disappointing to us Americans… Harry could have married a Chinese, Vietnamese or a Filipino girl and would they have treated her like they did Meghan ?? I don’t know, but the way Meghan was treated was appalling and rude !!! Very disappointing coming from people who was heralded as Polite, Classy and Educated, yet they only show us Rude, Uncouth and Ignoramus behaviour coming from Royalties !!! Its laughable as it is sickening !!!