Jeremy Allen White was blindsided by his wife’s post calling herself a single mom

Last month, Addison Timlin filed for divorce from Jeremy Allen White. They were married for three years, but together a lot longer than that. They also have two young daughters together. Shortly after Addison filed and the news broke, she posted on Instagram about Mother’s Day and referred to herself as a single mom. Jeremy’s sources were quiet at the time, but now that the second season of The Bear has come out they’re talking. He was “blindsided” that Addison called herself a single mom and the source says he can’t control his filming schedule/locations and is very involved in his daughters’ lives.

“The Bear” heartthrob Jeremy Allen White was left “blindsided” when his estranged wife, Addison Timlin, posted about being a single mom, sources tell Page Six.

White, 32, is starring in the hotly anticipated second season of his Hulu hit, which debuted Thursday, after winning a Golden Globe for the first season.

But behind the scenes, he’s been dealing with the heartbreak of his marital split.

“Californication” actress Timlin, 31, filed for divorce in LA after just under three years of marriage back in May. She gave no reason for the break-up.

Friends say he definitely did not cheat, and suggested his filming schedule in Chicago had put pressure on the relationship.

In an Instagram post on Mother’s Day, she called herself a “single mom,” while detailing the difficulties of raising children without a “witness” by her side, and posting photos of their young kids.

“Being a single mom is not how I pictured it. It is so f–king hard,” Timlin wrote. “It is all out covered in s–t crying on the floor kick you in the shins screaming with no sound coming out hard.”

Hours later, however, she updated the caption to read, “Co-parent is not how I pictured it,” as followers quickly picked up on her emotional message, with one saying: “There is a difference between being a single mom and being a mom that is single.”

In her initial divorce filing, Timlin asked for primary physical custody of their daughters, Ezer, 4, and 2-year-old Dolores, and asked the court to award White visitation.

But just last week, White responded by asking for joint custody in his response to the filing, in court records seen by Page Six.

A source who knows the couple confirmed that White was “blindsided” by the Mother’s Day post: “Addison changed her Instagram post because it wasn’t accurate, a lot of people were like ‘What are you talking about?’

“Jeremy had no control about where he was filming. He filmed ‘The Bear’ in Chicago and any time he could, he came home. He is so involved in those girls’ lives, he adores his daughters.”

[From Page Six]

In my initial coverage, I wrote: “But the fact that she filed, seemingly abruptly, and the absence of a joint statement… Maybe there’s more to the story there.” Then that Mother’s Day post bolstered that theory. It wasn’t quite going scorched Earth, but was certainly passive-aggressive and painted Jeremy in a bad, absent father, light. Addison even later changed “single mom” to “co-parent” because some people took offense to the idea that the wife of a working actor struggles as much as the average single mom and others began to question Jeremy’s support and involvement. It’s pretty obvious why he took offense to that and makes sense that his camp is refuting that. It’s a bad look. Addison asked for primary physical custody and visitation for Jeremy, while he has asked for joint custody, so clearly he does want to be involved. Jeremy’s source also specifically hits back against the cheating rumors on his side, so I guess they read blind items. This does seem like it has the potential to get a little messier than originally anticipated.

photos credit: Faye’s Vision/Cover Images/INSTAR and via Instagram

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69 Responses to “Jeremy Allen White was blindsided by his wife’s post calling herself a single mom”

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  1. Seraphina says:

    Some of these celebrity men need to start seeing an optometrist/ophthalmologist. Blindsided and didn’t see it coming is getting old.

    • Lemons says:

      I think her post was selfish and narcissistic, period. People do not always need to go to social media when there are quality therapists just waiting for your call. Instead, she wanted some sympathy for being a mother…One of many who made the choice to slow down their career to raise their kids while their partner took care of the bills. No one said it isn’t hard, but it’s not the same thing as going it alone.

      Now, if she is no longer in love or this relationship no longer suited her, that’s one thing…but there’s really no reason for her to insult our intelligence along the way.

      • Seraphina says:

        I agree with you Lemons. My comment is more about how (and I am speaking in generalities) lately there seems to be a lot of blindsided or didn’t see it coming statements. I think there are always signs of cracks in a relationship or signs of how nasty a person may get when they want to get their way (in this case she with the divorce). Now, I also understand we only hear what they want us to hear and the narrative is controlled. Regardless, I agree there is no reason for her to be nasty – but is he really that surprised that she would stoop to that level? It reminds me of the saying – people show you who they really are during difficult times not when all is smooth and problem free.

      • Lurker says:

        There’s an element of misogyny to this comment. “She chose to stay home while he worked.” How do you know that’s how it went down? What if she was nursing? Early on, babies/toddlers are dependent on their mothers. Maybe she wanted to work but like many women fell into the unfair situation of being the default parent/homemaker. Her career stalled and his thrived. He made money while she toiled doing unpaid “women’s work.” I’m tired of women being sneered at in this situation. This is the patriarchy in full effect. And there’s always other women supporting it while their sisters are oppressed. Enough.

      • Lemons says:

        There’s no misogyny there. A father can make the same decision and if he came to social media with a post about being a single father while his wife was working, I’d feel the same way. It’s weird energy…and I don’t like it. If you have a problem with your relationship, that is one thing…but discuss that with your partner. Sharing it on your socials while you’re still married is just…weird.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ Lemons, I agree that Addison utilizing SM for her benefit was simply selfish, childish and manipulative. Addison jumping out of the gate to get her “version” out, whist sharing personal texts, was purely seeking to gain the sympathy and paint White in a bad light.

        @ Lurker, there is zero misogyny at play here. IF Addison wanted to work, I am pretty certain that they could have made that happen. And yes, we don’t know everything and she could have possibly decided TO stay at home as millions of SAHM/D do so everyday. It’s not a matter of misogyny, it’s a matter of choices.

      • Mallory says:

        @ Lurker: I agree with you. It seems that once a woman acts in a way that offends other women, the sexism can come out in full force & it’s okay?! I see what you see & wish we supported each other in the big picture, regardless if we “like” each other, but hopefully we get there someday.

      • hangonamin says:

        i guess my confusion with her post is in literally every other SM post prior to that last one is how proud of him she is, how she’s so happy to see him succeed and The Bear get the reception it did. how he’s the “ultimate dad”. then fast forward to few months later she’s insinuating it’s been a struggle bc she doesn’t have support from her husband to raise their children. so it sounds like she’s saying she’s proud and supportive of him, but she’s unhappy and a single mom all at the same time. just the yo-yo-ing in the content of the posts is confusing.

    • Jess says:

      My ex and my former boss were both “blindsided” when I told them I was done, even though I’d been telling both for years that I was unhappy, things needed to change, etc. I recently realized that they were blindsided because they both thought that I would never leave, no matter how miserable I was/awful they were. A lot of these men think they can just ignore women’s needs/complaints without consequence and are shocked when women aren’t willing to let them do that.

      • Lucy says:

        My ex BIL was the same. Completely blindsided, except she’d been telling him for years. And they had the perfect marriage, except for the abuse and everyone walking on eggshells to keep him happy.

      • Noa says:

        He’s not saying he was blindsided by her filing for divorce. He’s saying he was blindsided by her calling herself a single mother.

    • Brenda says:

      “I was blindsided” is likely an attempt at public gas lighting. It says gosh I would have 100% been reasonable about pursuing something reasonable if only she had bothered to let me know.
      It is a well established medical fact American women are mute like that. As soon as they get married they literally lose their voice to verbalize or use body language when they don’t like something.

      • Kat says:

        “It is a well established medical fact American women are mute like that. As soon as they get married they literally lose their voice to verbalize or use body language when they don’t like something.“ is this satire? It might be one of the oddest things I’ve ever read. Let’s stop overusing terms like gaslighting as well. He was referencing her social media post, not the divorce. Which yeah, her post was unnecessary in pretty much every way. I can’t say I blame him for being annoyed. Doesn’t mean he was a great husband either.

    • Sophia says:

      He said he was blindsided by her post stating that she was a “single” mom. Not about the divorce.

    • Sona says:

      But some people ARE blindsided. Some male, some female.
      If your partner is cheating, if they fell out of love, if they simply dont want to be there anymore, you can genuinely get blindsided (not saying its what happened here, I dont know)

      And also, misoginy needs to be taken down by women, but we can also call out women doing wrong you know? Both things are posible, non mutually exclusive really.

      In this case, the post does read as a cry for attention and so much so that she even decided to re word it, realizing maybe it was too far. In my opinion, it also seems like a cover to set a certain narrative that will later help her a bit.

  2. SarahCS says:

    This sounds like a very sad situation for all concerned. I’m sure he does want to be as involved as he can be, meanwhile she’s still doing the day to day heavy lifting with their two children. He chose to take a job that would be great for his career and terrible for his family. I’m not saying that’s wrong, I am saying that there are consequences to the choices we make.

    • equality says:

      Well put.

    • Twin Falls says:

      This exactly.

    • Josephine says:

      Yup. The real question is how long does this phase last? I think many couples make these compromises and the outside the house working parent (which is usually but not always the man) finds that it’s easier and more exciting and more gratifying to excel at work than to raise messy little humans. And the parent working at home realizes that being home is a huge sacrifice in terms of watching the world advance while you’re in a holding pattern. Parenting is brutal no matter what but it might have helped them to have a plan in place to make sure that the career-business was more even at some point. But when you’re on a roll it’s super hard to pull back. I have no answers.

    • hangonamin says:

      this reminds me of what michelle obama said about her marriage when she looked back on it, and how at times it was definitely not 50/50 and that someone was putting more or contributing more. and at times she’s had to slow down her career to build the family life she wanted while barack did his thing. it sounds like both parents are involved and love their children, but fundamentally they have different views on partnership at this stage and one party no longer wants to be putting in more. i understand the underlying sentiments of what she wrote (in that she felt she was putting in much more and felt alone), but i think she definitely wasn’t kind about the way she expressed it and didn’t give any credit to her spouse.

    • SKE says:

      @sarahcs If it wasn’t for the fact that he has been working in Chicago for their entire relationship (first Shameless for a decade and now The Bear), I could buy that argument. From her social media posts, she makes it sound like she wanted him to take this job and convinced him to do it.

      • Lux says:

        This is what I don’t get. It’s not like he was working in far-flung locations all over the world for a few months at a time. He was consistently in Chicago. The smart move for the family would’ve been to move there until his long-term job is over. It’s doable. You can uproot your life for a few years and your kids will be fine. You don’t have to be in LA (or where ever they are based).

        I know this because my father was a career diplomat. We traveled with him when he got assigned to different countries, moving every three years. There are some who hated that life—I loved it. And of all his colleagues whose partners and children stayed in their home country while the diplomat flew solo—those marriages ended in divorce. Barring circumstances where the assigned countries were dangerous, being physically together is paramount to making it work.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ Lux, I agree with your opinion that Addison knew his work was a standing history of working in Chicago. And since that was where his work was, why did they not set up house IN Chicago to begin with? IF you want a home for the benefit of everyone you establish it where it is in the best interests of everyone.

        Addison utilizing SM to create her own version and exposing their personal marriage issues does not look good on her.

      • Noa says:

        Shameless was filmed at the Warner Brothers Studio in Burbank, California. The production visited Chicago two or three times each year. They stayed for about one week for each shoot. The Bear films in Chicago two months out of the year.

    • Barbiem says:

      If its so hard being a single mom, why she file fore sole custody. She should have filed joint. So what he work, a lot of working single parents. Folks that complain about doing it all as parents while asking the court to just give the other parent visitation are full of it. Stop fighting to make the other parent less involved.

      • Veronica S. says:

        How is he supposed to raise those children if he’s constantly traveling and moving, though? He doesn’t have a stable job. His career requires constant change, and kids need stability. I’m not saying this to be mean. I’m saying this from experience.

        When my parents’ marriage fell apart, my father used his financial power (since my mother had given up her career to raise us!) to get full custody. Except…he was a navy man. So who was really raising us? His mother. Then the woman he married a year later abruptly became our stepmother and did the parenting. My father wasn’t there to raise us. He couldn’t be. Kids force you to lock down. They MUST be tended to persistently, especially when young. From a logistics standpoint, I get why she’s asking for it.

      • Kirsten says:

        But his career is not a surprise to her, nor are the demands of it. And that’s who she chose to have children with. So it’s one thing to realize that the demands of parenting day-to-day may have been more than she initially thought, but she had to at least know that would be a possibility going into having children.

      • GrnieWnie says:

        I actually think this is a great point.

        I don’t think courts do women a favour at all when they automatically grant mothers full custody (in normal situations). I think this is actually sexism against women. I think we should move towards normalizing the equal involvement of fathers. This is what will benefit mothers more in the long run.

        But as there are still big wage gaps across men and women, women tend to be the lower earner (if they work). So they understandably want child support. Which then leads me into a rant about how child support should be provided by the state, not the other partner, to both parents…if I could wave a wand at family law, I would transform it into something that we wouldn’t recognize today. The short version is: both parents should be enabled by the state (not each other) to be equally present in the lives of their children. I would also transform the workplace to 25 hrs/week max, which — don’t laugh — is entirely doable for a wealthy country (what is the point of our wealth if it doesn’t free us from labour??).

        Anyway, that came up because that’s perhaps why she filed for sole custody…so she could get more financial support. But logically, if it’s so hard to be a solo parent, why wouldn’t you want joint custody?

      • MrsBanjo says:

        Being married and effectively being a single parent because they other is never home leaving you to do all the work (remember parenting is a 24/7 job) is not the same as being an actually single parent. The marriage comes with an expectation of a PARTNER. She’s doing all the work of a single parent but stuck waiting on the support, emotional and physical, of her partner that is virtually nonexistent. A single mom with custody is doing all that same work without the added emotional and mental toll of waiting around for the support that doesn’t come. She can just do the work of parenting and get on.

      • Mallory says:

        Typically, when mothers file for divorce & look at custody, they are looking at what will be in the best interest of the children, not what is ideal for the adults. The children are healthiest sticking to who has been their primary caregiver since their birth, established routine, established schedules & not traveling constantly while trying to thrive as a growing child. These aren’t houseplants.

      • Noa says:

        If she’s awarded primary physical custody she will get maximum spousal support. I think her mother’s day post was meant to paint him as an absentee father to insure she gets it.

      • Barbiem says:

        @veronica. He can raise the kids if he travels. So many moms and dads travel for work its silly to suggest they less parents because job involves traveling. He has to adjust like every other divorcee. Babysitters, nannies, children travel with em, and he may need work flexibility. There are days he will do 16hrs (like other folks) and months he won’t work at all.

  3. ThatsNotOkay says:

    Being the primary caregiver of two young children (even older kids) is difficult under “normal” circumstances, when the dad is around every day. The added pressure, isolation, and stress of doing it while one’s partner is away for days, weeks, months at a time is stressful and mentally heavy. I feel for both of them. She might just be saying she didn’t sign up for motherhood this way, and maybe resents it a little. And I acknowledge and understand that. He, on the other hand, might not have known what she was feeling, for whatever reason. Hence, the split.

    • Yup, Me says:

      Except this is exactly what she signed up for (though she may noy have realized it at the time). She chose to have children with an actor. She chose to have children with an actor whose job has the potential to take him all over the world (and whose job had him in Chicago for the last several years).

      What’s very likely, though, is that they chose to have children without knowing what the day to day of parenting looked like (with one small child, not to mention two) and while his life didn’t change much, hers changed a whole lot and she found herself making all sorts of sacrifices and accommodations that she didn’t expect and he didn’t need to make and it’s hard and a lot of it sucks.

      And with him being so far away, he’s been out of the loop on those changes and not really keeping up.

      If he’d been filming out of Chicago for Shameless, too, then they likely were both unaware of how much of their relationship was dependent on them being two individuals.

  4. Christine says:

    I know what it is like to be a married single mom. Husband is absent for work, and calls daily at first, but then it lessens over time. Meanwhile, wife gets no break, no partnership, no support and the husband returns home less, calls less and when he is home, he is basically checked out. I mean it happens when husbands don’t work out of state, when they still live in the home. It goes back to all the invisible load women disproportionately carry in parenting. Jeremy and other men should just sit down about being “blindsided” because saying that just proves why their partners have left them. They don’t even see their own absence and inaction as anything because they were “working.” Like having a job negates the fact that they are supposed to be partners and fathers.

    • Lurker says:

      THIS! He gets to check out. She doesn’t.

    • Heylee says:

      I love your comment so much. Married single mom, I wonder how many women could claim this? I certainly could have years ago, that’s why I am a divorced single mom. I don’t know if anything could have prepared me for how my then husband just didn’t see a majority of the parenting responsibilities as his responsibilities… all while believing himself to be a great father and moving us all around the country to follow his professional goals. If I had a slight hiccup adjusting to living 2000 miles from friends and family, I “was always a little rigid/uptight/the problem was me”

      My friend has a 18 month old, she is 44 and struggled with fertility. She recently called me after returning home from a birthday party where she was stunned to see all the dads standing back drinking beers and all the moms running after the kids and in general being alert to the kids needs the entire party… she was like, the game is rigged. I said, yeah, welcome to the party.

    • Belspethen says:

      My mother left my father, with three kids under 7, for a very similar situation that you describe. 25+ years onwards he still doesn’t get it.

    • Mallory says:

      Preach!!! This is what many women deal with in reality & it’s refreshing that we can at least talk about it cuz equality, in practice, sure hasn’t hit motherhood yet.

      @Heyleee- the support that men get from the peanut gallery, and the lack of support mothers get, still Have the gall to “complain” while being a married mother to a man who has a job (even if you do too and make more money) & you’ll see the weight of misogyny still living in people. The expectations we have for men is so damn low (have a job) & the expectations for women are astronomical (have a job, raise kids, look good, be the social beacon, clean the house…..)

      • Heylee says:

        @Mallory Gonna make a t-shirt with your line on it “Equality, in practice, sure hasn’t hit motherhood yet.”

        It sure stings when you realize this truth. And that yeah, more men than I’m comfortable with just don’t care about the inequality. Don’t stop talking about feminism…

  5. GrnieWnie says:

    These are the deals we make in relationships. If one partner has success and needs to ride it, the other may need to just show up as a parent (if that’s their deal). I’m not sure that it’s fair to expect a partner to be able to be a present parent and also ride their success. They’re making a trade-off by being less present in their children’s lives, too.

    The payout is that later, when the kids are older and the one partner’s success has waned, the other parent might be able to pursue their own dreams.

    Demands have never been higher on parents. But I’m not sure we should add to that by expecting parents to achieve career success and be fully present at the same time. Like the whole model is flawed. The workplace is flawed. We’re all expected to work full time and be deeply involved in our kids’ lives or one parent is expected to work in a way that prevents them from being a present parent…it’s all flawed.

    • MrsBanjo says:

      Good lord, hell no. Marriage is a partnership. Becoming parents is a team job. The idea that one parent has to give up 20+ years of their life (and effectively their identity as an individual) in the HOPE of fulfilling their dreams later so that they can support the other’s dreams is bullshit. That is not what “you sign up for.”

      • GrnieWnie says:

        My point is just that partnership often requires a give-and-take. That give-and-take should be agreed on by both partners. I’ve certainly been in this situation where I’ve had to put my own career on the back burner when my partner was in the military. But after he got out, I was able to prioritize my own. These are often the trade-offs of a long-term relationship as two people pursuing their own individual interests often comes at the expense their relationship interests.

        That said, I think many people find themselves in the situation of not having the same amount of career success at the same time as their partner so they end up becoming the primary caregiver by default. That situation is rife for resentment, especially if the other partner isn’t able (or chooses not) to contribute as much as a primary caregiver likely expects or if no explicit agreement has been struck.

        In the end, I think the way we seem to have few good options as parents is due to the very flawed one earner/one caregiver family model that our institutions have historically expected of the middle class. I think it’s garbage and that we should have more options as parents. We should have a two earner-caregiver model that is way better balanced than the model of two working parents/outsourced caregiving + massive parenting demands that we have today. I could go on and on about this.

  6. Irish Eyes says:

    How does a divorce help the mother? If you are fed up with doing all the parenting, heavy lifting, whatever alone, how does your situation improve when you cut the father right out of the equation? No shade, just asking. He is presumably required to go where the work is, they (hopefully) both agreed she would be a SAHM to give the kids stability, his paycheck helps this happen. Now he is getting cut out, she is going to have to work to support herself and their children, even with decent alimony, so she is both single parent and breadwinner. How does this improve her situation?

    • Josephine says:

      mindset. the loneliest I ever was when was i was married. if he’s totally checked out and had wrongly assumed that she would always be content staying home then maybe it was best for her to move on. I agree with the comment above that “blindsided” is often a word used in gaslighting so I do wonder. Who knows what really went on but I found that I could do a million more things well when I wasn’t in a bad marriage.

      • B says:

        @JOSEPHINE- god that last part of your comment is exactly what’s giving me hope for the future.

      • Josephine says:

        @B – best of luck! my ex wasn’t even a terrible guy but carrying him and the weight of a lousy marriage took its toll. i grew into myself after that (and am in a long and terrific marriage now, btw) and felt the best I ever had when I left.

      • Nicegirl says:

        @B 💕

  7. Veronica S. says:

    More people, especially men, need to be realistic about the cost of parenting. If you take a job that has you traveling or absent from the home a hefty amount of the time, you really aren’t a primary or even part time care taker. Your partner is the full time parent, and they’re doing most of it on their own. I watched it happen with my mother, who realized years into a marriage to a navy man that she was basically a single mother with shit benefits.

    Whether or not she should’ve taken it to social media is another thing, but her struggle isn’t unique. There’s a lot of women out there who had children with a man who told them family was their everything, only to find themselves making all the sacrifices. I get the bitterness, even if it makes me cringe to see it play out in public. Couples need to have serious conversations about parenting expectations before they have children.

    • Yup, Me says:

      That sounds nice (having discussions about parenting expectations before having children), but it’s unrealistic because most people only having a passing knowledge of what parenting entails before they are doing it themselves, not to mention what kind of parent they will be.

      Before having children, most people cannot conceive of the time and energy demands and the idea of NEVER being off duty and some part of you constantly tracking or considering your kid(s).

      From personal experience AND from the anecdotal experiences of friends who are parents, most discussions about how parenting will be that take place before the children arrive are naive and frequently ridiculous to the point of laughability.

  8. Nonok says:

    I live in a navy community and the dads and moms all get it- the transitions between deployment and return are HARD for the family that stays. My husband isn’t navy but travels for work and I SAH and when they were little (before full time school age) it was so hard and I was a married single mom. The navy parents got what I was going through- for people who are like, how would getting divorced be easier? It’s like you are the only parent making all the decisions, managing all the outbursts, making the rules for 6 months and then someone else floats in who hasn’t been briefed and starts questioning “well, why?” And you’ve been barely keeping your head above water. It’s the working parent coming into a house on fire and wondering aloud why the SAH parent burned a candle instead of helping by throwing water on the flames. It’s so frustrating and resentment inducing. We went to counseling and worked it out but being a parent at home alone with two young children for extended periods of time is beyond hard. It makes me sad to see so many people lack compassion for this situation.

  9. Lizzie Bathory says:

    They got together very young & seemingly bonded over their love of their shared art. That sounds great in an intense sort of way. But it’s not unusual for people to grow in different directions when they get a bit older after falling in love very young.

    And I don’t think it’s discussed enough, but not all partnerships can weather the pressures of having children. It doesn’t make either person bad, but there are huge psychological, emotional, financial & other stresses that even the most solid relationships can struggle to cope with once you add kids into the mix.

    • AnneL says:

      I think more people need to be made aware of this. Having kids makes marriage harder, not easier. I know many people talk about how having a child or children brought them closer together, but that isn’t always the case.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      I am in agreement with regards to children changing the dynamics of a marriage. It does change everything all at once. Plus, married couples should establish a set of “rule”, or a better word to describe it. But when become parents, discussions should be made and the communication should be kept open. When you need help in communicating, you seek out help and you BOTH work at what you both want and need from each other. Communication is the key to keeping all relationships intact and it’s the hardest to maintain when we aren’t being truthful to ourselves or each other.

  10. Folly says:

    Being a married single parent vs divorced single mom, I think the difference is partnership, marriage isn’t just about raising kids, what about her needs? How do people cope with the loneliness? Your kids can’t replace a partner. So I think now she gets to date, and find someone who’s present to live and create memories.

  11. Missy says:

    Something about her initial caption rang odd to me, a little Jana Kramer-y if you will? Idk, I have no idea the details but maybe dont do the whole “everything is terrible but I don’t want to talk about it” post without expecting some pushback

  12. tealily says:

    I’m sure it sucks that his career has taken off right when she feel like she needs him at home the most, but seriously wtf was that social media post? It sounds like she’s under a lot of stress and not in a good place mentally. She probably didn’t realize she would feel this way, but that’s what’s happening. From his perspective, of course he’s going to take this career-changing job. It’s also allowing him to provide for his family, even if it means he has to be away from them. I really do have sympathy for both of them. I think this is exactly what people mean when they talk about “irreconcilable differences.” She probably didn’t realize that post would blow up the way it did, but it was still stupid.

  13. Mosshearted says:

    I wonder why the whole fam didn’t just relocate to Chicago.

  14. Kirsten says:

    This sort of thing is why it needs to be more socially acceptable to have conversations about all of the real hardships involved in raising children.

  15. jferber says:

    Lurker, I hear you. “He gets to check out. She doesn’t.” I remember those days when I had 1 baby, not 2 and how HARD it was. The minute my husband came home from work, I handed him the baby. I remember him saying I didn’t think he worked during the day, too. I responded with, “I’ve just spent 13 hours with the baby. I don’t care what you do or don’t do while you are away. It’s your turn now.” As an employee at a job I got A LOT more breaks than I did staying home with the baby. I remember one time I had an eye lash in my eye ALL DAY and did not have the time to take it out. Literally.

  16. Onomo says:

    For all the women saying, “she should have known when she married him it would be like this” – y’all sound like victim blamers.

    I have known lots of women (from ages 30 to 70) who married men who swore up and down they would be present partners, involved with the kids, only to either become abusive, neglectful, cheaters, or insist that they couldn’t possibly make it home because “work” – while they bury themselves in minutiae or went out drinking with coworkers because ‘networking.’

    It’s ok for women to complain – in my opinion women don’t complain enough.

    • McGee says:


    • Kirsten says:

      Having children and it being harder or different than you expected doesn’t make you a victim. Being a single parent doesn’t make you a victim. Going through a divorce doesn’t make you a victim.

      Women absolutely get to complain, but he’s not abusing her, so let’s not use that language to describe this — it’s condescending to women and also belittles what actual victims go through.

  17. jferber says:

    Onomo, hear, hear.

  18. Hereforthegossip says:

    Interesting….the blinds I saw a month or two ago alleged that SHE was the one cheating not him? One implied they were both cheating on each other …now here comes the news of divorce and filing for custody? Maybe they were onto something 🤷🏻‍♀️

  19. Jenn says:

    This is really sad. My instinct is that her desire was never to get “benched” from her own acting career, and they’d probably even agreed that they would share the hard work of raising kids and building a life together. Neither of them had any idea that the FX show would blow up like it did. How many more seasons are the showrunners planning? Four? Five? In age-obsessed Hollywood, there’s a big difference between being 31 and 36, and she probably never agreed to stop working, or to put her career on hold and then TRYYY to start working again at 40. I’m thinking she feels unsupported — at home and in her career — not because anything JAW did, but because the show is a huge success. I feel absolutely awful for both of them.

  20. taris says:

    side note: since when does “single mum” carry connotations of being poor/less priviledged?

    if a woman is unpartnered, and she’s raising her children mostly or entirely on her own, then she *is* a single mum. and she’s worthy of our compassion and respect, even if she’s not poor, even if she’s priviledged compared to others.

    my god, why do people on the internet make human struggles so fucking competitive? beating us over the head constantly with new buzzwords and semantics, words that are supposedly wrong to use (“there’s a difference between a single mum and a mum who’s single” bwa BWA), tf cares?