Sarah Brady and Jonah Hill dated for something like one year. They broke up last summer, after months of couples counseling in which their therapist would take Jonah’s side and advise Sarah to avoid speaking to men and not hang out with her girlfriends. Sarah has the screenshot evidence of just how controlling and emotionally abusive Jonah was to her, and she rolled out her evidence and her story over the weekend. Jonah hasn’t really responded – no apologies, no social media posts directed at Sarah, no statements from his rep. Instead, Jonah is posting about his “complete unrelenting control” merchandise. Creepy. Soon after Jonah and Sarah ended, Jonah became involved with a woman named Olivia Millar. Millar just welcomed a child with Jonah in late May. The timing is important because Sarah apparently did not want to do this evidentiary dump during Olivia’s pregnancy.
Sarah Brady purposely waited to accuse ex-boyfriend Jonah Hill of “emotional abuse” until after he welcomed his first baby.
Brady told her Instagram followers on Sunday that she “waited until” Hill’s partner Olivia Millar gave birth before she released screenshots of aggressive texts from the actor.
“I didn’t want [Millar] to have to see all of this while she was pregnant because I didn’t know what kind of stress that would cause her and her baby physically,” the 26-year-old surfer explained in a voice memo posted to her Instagram Story over the weekend.
Brady also admitted that while “the timing can seem bad,” she hoped Millar saw the posts so she can “make an informed decision of how she wants to care for herself and her baby.”
“I just hope she would receive some of these screenshots somehow through friends, like, friends of mine that I met through him that I know are good people that I know would make an effort to protect her,” Brady said.
On Saturday, the athlete — who said she was “not trying to slander somebody’s reputation” — posted screenshots of Hill’s critical messages, in which he demanded she refrain from “surfing with men,” posting “sexual pictures” and having “friendships with women who are in unstable places.”
While we knew that Jonah had moved on with Olivia last fall (they were pap’d together), we only found out about her pregnancy in March of this year, less than three months before she gave birth. I’m starting to side-eye the timing of the pregnancy too – I’m not suggesting that Jonah overlapped relationships, but it would not surprise me at all if Jonah baby-trapped Olivia very early in their relationship as a way to control her. That is exactly what emotionally abusive men do, because now it will be even harder for Olivia to leave. “You can’t leave, we don’t want to raise our child in a broken home, right” And don’t forget “if you leave, you’ll never see this baby again, I’ll bury you in court, I’ll bankrupt you in lawyer’s fees.” Sending prayers to Sarah and Olivia both. I hope Sarah is right and Olivia has friends she can turn to for help when the time comes.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Instagram.
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- MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK, USA – DECEMBER 05: Actor Jonah Hill and girlfriend Sarah Brady arrive at the World Premiere of Netflix’s ‘Don’t Look Up’ held at Jazz at Lincoln Center on December 5, 2021 in Manhattan, New York City, New York, United States.,Image: 646576238, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady, Credit line: Jordan Hinton / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK, USA – DECEMBER 05: Actor Jonah Hill and girlfriend Sarah Brady arrive at the World Premiere of Netflix’s ‘Don’t Look Up’ held at Jazz at Lincoln Center on December 5, 2021 in Manhattan, New York City, New York, United States.,Image: 646576247, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady, Credit line: Jordan Hinton / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- , New York, NY – 20211205-Premiere of Netflixt Look Up -PICTURED: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady -PHOTO by: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com Disclaimer: This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing Featuring: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady Where: New York, New York, United States When: 05 Dec 2021 Credit: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com
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- , New York, NY – 20211205-Premiere of Netflixt Look Up -PICTURED: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady -PHOTO by: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com Disclaimer: This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing Featuring: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady Where: New York, New York, United States When: 05 Dec 2021 Credit: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com
Lol “surfing with men”
Someone on IG cut off the top part and put “my summer wish list”. LOL.
Haha totally
That’s perfect actually 😀 lol
Summer wish list indeed
Ha ha that is awesome!
I feel for the poor child that has just been born. Having him for a father is just awful.
Good on her for waiting until the baby was born, and good on her for speaking out.
If this helped even a handful of women realize the kind of relationship they are in, it was all worth it. Men are too often coddled into the false illusion that that sort of behavior is acceptable as long as it’s couched in therapy speak.
It’s shocking and heartbreaking how many women I know personally who have said they don’t see anything wrong with his texts & truly believe he was setting healthy boundaries!
Muggs, I am a lady creature, and while I find Jonah’s comments unappealing, I 100% don’t believe we have enough solid evidence to conclude he was abusive. Insecure? Jealous? Sure. But we don’t have any context, nor are we psychologists — and this selective leaking provides juuuust enough of a window to let people project their own experiences and assumptions on the situation. A potential reg flag is not concrete evidence. I find this whole situation incredibly distasteful.
I think the trend of leaping to the conclusion that people are “abusers,” “narcissists” and “gaslighters” to be extremely dangerous. It absolves one party of any responsibility whatsoever and strips them of conflict resolution tools. Humans are social creatures, and we are inevitable going to brush with people whose value systems differ significantly from our own. In many relationships, both men and women try to modify behaviors they find unappealing in order to make the relationship sustainable — whether it’s drinking (less), eating (better), cursing (less), hanging out with better influences. Men and women. We individually have to rely on our own agency to determine what we are willing to compromise and what is non-negotiable.
We as women need to be able to say ‘no,’ not just level blame when someone asks for something we don’t want to do.
Jonah still may be emotionally abusive. But this is not the smoking gun that would prove it.
@SquiddusMaximus — you’re cutting Jonah far too much slack in this. This is definitely not trying to “modify behaviour” and goes far beyond “drinking less, eating better”, corrective action. This is true control freak behaviour. It is authoritarian gaslighting at its worst, and having experienced it I can tell you it’s scary. People like him are experts at twisting logic and truth, at making you question and doubt yourself constantly. You end up blaming yourself for behaviour that is, in reality, completely normal and acceptable.
Sarah Brady did say no — she had the agency to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship in time to save herself from going down the dark tunnel, which is what happened to me, and it took me several years to shake off the damage done to me.
This is not a case of “Jonah still may be emotionally abusive”, he clearly is an emotionally abusive, arrogant, controlling jerk and I hope his current girlfriend and their baby are going to be OK.
Squiddus M – Nah. These texts confused me at first because I didn’t pick up on the fact that he’s taking a side dig at his girlfriend all while dominating the ‘conversation’ baffling her with BS. Does the dude ever shut up? Ever? And who gets to make the determination on who the women are who are “coming from unstable places?” Him. Only him. Because that’s what he’s misidentifying as “his boundaries.” You’re right that both men and women try to change their partners. Sometimes they’re working on mutual improvement. Sometimes it’s overt manipulation. Dude in this case is clearly controlling, setting HIS ‘boundaries’ to include HER! If you’ve never been in a relationship where your partner starts separating you from this friend, then another friend, then your sister, brother, parent, etc. etc. ad nauseum, then you won’t know the goal is isolating you so your partner is in charge controlling you.
Will you be able to say no after being carved away from your other supports?
So uh Squid, you see the other women taking about his predatory and abusive ways or just feeling extra enlightened centrist today?
There is no middle ground when someone is abusive. That’s straight up victim blaming.
You can sure tell who’s never experienced an abusive relationship before from some of these comments.
Making positive changes like eating better, drinking less etc (especially when it’s a mutual thing, not just “go to the gym, lardass”) is a far cry from telling someone they can’t interact with men, at all, ever, and cutting them off from their friends.
He was trying to get her to drop her old friends – aka her support system. That’s scary. Do not fall for it.
“Surfing with men” I mean, please. Is there some sort of segregated beach she can use? For her actual job?
This is controlling and toxic AF. If some dude tries any of this stuff with you, RUN. It will not improve.
First they lovebomb you and then they slack off. And then they get you jumping through hoops to try to get the lovebombing treatment back. Do not fall for this behavior.
If someone acts like they think you hung the moon after one or two dates, that’s sus. Sure, possibly it’s just them. But be cautious and if he starts trying to control you, Get. Out.
gross abuser-enabling mentality, Squid. his texts are classic abusive behavior, and I am sorry you and others don’t see that…that’s a red flag on its own. May want to think on that…
signed, someone who was abused by someone just like jonah
Kiddos, you have got to calm down. At no point did I victim blame her. All I did was point out that WE don’t have enough actual evidence — just cherry-picked texts — to confidently assert “abuse.” As-is, those texts could indicate behavior ranging from “His comments about my lifestyle offended me” to “He wanted me to change things about me I didn’t want to change” to “He isolated, diminished, deconstructed, and manipulated me.” Could be a messy end-of-relationship situation, could be outright abuse. There’s way too much hyperbolic speculation going on right in in the comments for this to be productive.
And for those of you who have taken the very classy step of calling me a misogynist/woman-hater/whatever: I have indeed been in an extremely toxic, damaging, abusive relationship that ended with me a shell of a human seriously contemplating suicide. I get it, I do. And my heart is 100% with anyone who has suffered at the manipulative hands of someone they love. It took YEARS for me to grow back into myself, which I’m sure the rest if you have experienced as well.
I’m just being cautious with my ability as a casual voyeur to bandy about labels like “abuse” when we’re really not operating on concrete info.
@ SquiddusMaximus
You have a right to share your experiences and beliefs. People shouldn’t be attacking you for that. Sometimes commenters get carried away here. They did the same thing with the Britney Spears post…calling for the security guard to get fired and put in jail, only later to find out it was Britney that lied. In this case, Jonah has a history of being a jerk. That doesn’t mean he is abusive. We don’t know. The texts are one-sided. However, if you go on reddit, you can read numerous stories of people who worked with him stating he has a huge ego and thinks the world revolves around him. I’m guessing he’s the same in a romantic relationship. The crazy part is he seems to have no issue landing women. I don’t get it.
I think the thing that causes some people to not see the problem is that these are all things he’s free to not want in a partner/relationship. But then it’s his responsibility to not be in a relationship with someone who does these things. The way he frames at as though it’s her choice makes it seem like there’s some problem with her doing these things, which is super manipulative.
These are also things that are integral to who she is, and if he can get her to doubt these things about herself, he’s getting her to question whether she’d be right about anything, and then he can control her.
@ ME –
Thank you, and also for the Reddit info. I didn’t know that, but I am 100% not surprised. To be clear, he sounds like an exhausting, sexist a$$hat — and I do think you hit the nail on the head with your comment below: His celebrity probably goes a long way in other women’s willingness to tolerate bad behaviour.
@SQUIDDUSMAXIMUS
Kiddos? How patronizing
And telling women who are detailing their past relationships and how similar it was to this woman’s treatment from Jonah to calm down? Ah yes, they’re just overreacting right? They’re just unjustifiably angry so they must be crazy! Get out of here with that unempathetic condescending BS
@ Meg — Oh my lord. I said none of those things. You’re projecting again. I meant calm down the hysterics at those of us who are reading the situation differently. This does not merit the anger you think it does.
@ Kirsten — I agree with you, and I also think there’s a fine line between open communication about what you need in a relationship to make it work for all involved (e.g., “I need you to spend more time at home with the kids” ) and changing your partner to make them a better counterpart for YOU. Jonah definitely sounds like the kind of solipsist who can’t differentiate between the two.
Saaaaaaaame. it’s scary to me how many women are forced into constructs of toxic monogamy – that their intimate relationship is the one that has to be protected at all costs, even at the expense of friendships. I’m sure women do this too, but the number of times I have heard or seen boys or men say girls or women are not allowed to have male friends is scary.
I agree with @SquiddusMaximus and @Kirsten here. Communication is EVERYTHING in a relationship. From what I’ve seen his communication is pathetic and his self awareness is zero, and yes he is trying to completely change her to fit what he wants in a partner instead of bridging their differences or not being in that relationship (at that point). That’s the problem. FWIW I’d imagine it will be the same for women in some relationships too, I don’t think it’s a men-only issue to try to manipulate your partner.
He is absolutely within his rights to look for certain things in a partner, that’s his prerogative. Communicating with someone you are looking to be in a relationship with to understand if you are on the same page about what you both want out of your partnership is what 99/100 couples seem to forget and why many relationships will become toxic and divorces happen etc etc. One person’s relationship may not be anything close to what someone else thinks is good for them from the outside looking in, often because it may not be. It’s about individual people’s preferences and what they’re needing or wanting.
I find it impossible to not see anything wrong with these texts, and my husband and I have agreed-upon boundaries for opposite-sex relationships (we are both heterosexual). Key words: agreed upon.
Hill sounds like a former incel who is deeply insecure about his relationship with his partner and everyone’s motives around them. We get it—you feel small around surfbros, but c’mon. You’re friends with Leo. You think Leo’s gfs are imposing “don’t hang around with (switching out surfers) supermodels and actresses” rules on him?? Like in what universe is it okay to place restrictions that directly impact someone’s livelihood? Directly related and connected to their career and social life? If people can’t see how insane that alone is, then I have a hill to sell you.
Needing a safe word for when he’s screaming at her so he will stop isn’t abuse? Okee dokee.
He wants her to get rid of her friends, she’s not allowed to talk to men, and he’s affecting her work and ability to support herself. He’s isolating her and making her depend on him financially. While he gets to work in a way more intimate setting with other females. She has to have a safe word for when he screams at her. Like, come ON. This is textbook.
As Lux puts it, it has to be agreed upon by BOTH parties involved, that’s the critical point.
I will put up my hands and say I haven’t seen the texts you’re referring to here, that’s a whole other level. My comments were not condoning behaviour like that at all, the safe word when he’s yelling is absolutely shocking. So is the behaviour of his therapist who seems like they should not be able to practise anymore if all they do is side with one of the parties involved, wtf??
Squiddo, ME, and anyone else who wants to brush this off as somehow reasonable… go back up and read that list again.
HE reached out to her, knowing perfectly well this was her life.
HE wanted her to drop her friends, and not be anywhere near a man, anywhere at any time.
He got into a relationship with her. Then he tried to change everything about her. Things he probably praised at the beginning. We know he responded to a sexy swimwear insta when he hit her up. He KNEW. But then it wasn’t good enough for him, and instead of leaving, he tried to change everything about her.
Sorry, but that’s BS!
I’m honestly glad that you’ve never had to deal with someone like this, and I sincerely hope you never do. It’s debilitating. They make you distrust yourself. They destroy your self esteem. And they get worse and worse and worse over time.
Listen to women! Please. This dude is an entitled POS who doesn’t deserve your efforts to whitewash his awful behavior. Please stop. This is a toxic pattern.
@SquiddusMaximus: “I meant calm down the hysterics”. I hear you & see that you have been in a toxic relationship. I implore you to do research on the knee jerk reactions that you have been conditioned to have & do what you are asking of others- see this from a different perspective. Google the history of the term “hysteria”, which you have obviously internalized, & see where it takes you…
@ Bee
Who said his demands were reasonable? I sure didn’t !
Waiting until the baby was born? The newborn months are gruelling; that woman will be stressed and sleep deprived and will have hormones flooding through her body as she adjusts to a whole new version of herself and her life.
I was thinking the same thing…if she has PPD, this will only make it worse.
The first year is of having a baby is very stressful so how if this helping a new mom? She could have reached out privately. I wouldn’t interfere in my exs new relationship. Once a relationship is over both should move on. I’m sure the current girlfriend is aware of how he is.
The texts that she keeps sharing are just worse and worse. I’m glad she’s doing it because so many women face this kind of relentless twisting of the truth from guys while dating (and into the overlap of his new relationship as she’s revealed) and it is really damaging when you attempt to have any new relationships in the future.
It might be messy and classless of her to do it but absolutely NOTHING in her posting these private messages comes close to how harmful his treatment of her appears. She is NOT OBLIGATED to be the secret keeper of his awful behaviour. Any harm that comes to his reputation out of this is down to his actions, not hers. Fuck him.
Why is it classless of her to share how he abused and manipulated her?
I am championing her actions 100% and don’t think she should have done one thing differently.
I was just including the most common buzzwords I’ve gotten while defending her to highlight that whatever judgements people may have, her sharing his abuse is not something to be attacked at all. I think she’s incredibly brave and I hope she has good support around her because I haven’t seen anywhere on the internet as supportive as here (thank you Celebitchies for being amazing as always).
Hard agree. It’s not classless.
What’s wild is there’s not more convo about how this guy managed to make money of his therapy by making a doc on it?!
SB had to sit back and watch this guy monetize his therapy all while she was trying to put herself back together.
The scarier issue is that neither his therapist nor their couples therapist cottoned on to his narc abuser persona.
She is doing the works a huge solid and we need to rethink what we determine is “classy” behavior. Calling out those in positions of power who are abusing said power is always classy!
stop perpetuating the gross narrative that sharing these texts is shitty on her part; it isn’t. stop victem-blaming; you’re internalized mysogyny is showing.
Sarah recently posted the text exchange where Jonah informs her he’s dating someone new (his current gf).
His audacity is amazing yet not surprising. After they broke up, she was still open to offering him support as a friend but he continued to sext her. She called him out in it and his response was to deny it. In their text exchange, she posted a screenshot of the sext he sent her (this was just between the two of them) and he wrote back something like “Oh yeah, I did sext you.”
Then he dropped the news he was dating someone. She called him out on sexting her and stringing her along as a friend when he had a new girlfriend. His response was to dodge and lie about it.
Burn it all down, Sarah!
It was incredibly chilling to see him outright lie, and then as soon as she texted him the screenshot to absolutely hit the roof about how unethical and untrustworthy she was to screenshot their private conversations and share it, and totally become the victim of some completely new manufactured harm (other than the issue at hand which she raised) and then when she was like “no, this is just me sending our conversation to remind you” and he changed direction again.
For anyone unfortunate enough to have seen this kind of communication before it’s textbook!
Nope. Nope. I just read the latest test dump and I’m disgusted at the whole thing. Screenshotting stuff like that is blackmail, pure and simple. This was a messy breakup with confusing emotions and blurred lines. That is not uncommon. The really effed up part is her exploiting his fame to punish him after the fact.
Seriously, what does it matter if they sexted two months before? What bearing does that have on anything? Or if they actually hooked up? Is that one line about his dick supposed to be a sext? Or be meaningful? Grow up. And she’s making demands that he tell his current girlfriend about it? Who’s manipulating whom? I’m sorry, I know CB isn’t the right forum for this, but I’m disgusted. They are both insecure and immature and messy. But this is not the abuse she’s claiming it is, and she is not a paragon for women by showcasing their mess.
Stop with the victim-blaming. Sarah has every right to share what amounts to a dire warning for other women to stay away from people like him, to recognize the signs of emotional abuse before it gets to the point where your self-respect is gone. When women experience treatment like this, it’s important for them to share the experience in order to heal and get back the self-esteem they lost.
And don’t tell us to “grow up”, it’s rude and supercilious. This is not the forum for sh*tting on people because we’re merely standing up for someone who dodged a bullet.
@SquiddusMaximus: First you claim “nor are we psychologists”. Actually, some of us are — along with lawyers, physicians, and a generally wide range of professions, backgrounds, and experiences that inform our individual perspectives. Then you jump to “we as women” — ignoring the experiences of people outside your personal, limited view of “ we”. These things stand out because even as you exhort women to rely on our own agency, you’re trying to bolster your own points and opinions with your own projections of a collective viewpoint ( or something) that actually might not exist.
“This is not the abuse she’s claiming it is.” How on earth could you possibly know that? Your disgust is clear. The assumptions and generalizations that you’re associating with your disgust seem less so. I do agree that “CB isn’t the right forum for this.”
Squiddus M – I, for one, am grateful that Ms. Brady is brave enough to put this stuff out there, knowing the criticism, such as yours, that she’ll receive. The responses on this forum from women who suffered emotional abuse and gaslighting are proof that what’s she’s doing has social value. Whereas your trying to shut it down seems less helpful. If it really bothers you that a 39-yr old man is being blackmailed by his own words, stop reading. If you’re convinced that this only happened because it was at the end of a romantic, sexual relationship, I’d suggest reading Monty Roberts “The Man Who Listens to Horses” about getting jerked around by an emotionally abusive person in a non-romantic nonsexual relationship.
@Squid
WTH is wrong with you? Are you serious with this crap? So to you no one can hold proof of abuse they suffer because it’s “unethical”? GTFO with that victim-blamey BS.
Thanks. With this second comment, you proved yourself to be as gross as you were pretending not to be with your first comment. Women are not safe around you.
“Blackmail, pure and simple?” Is she asking for money?
The sexting part should have been kept private. The other stuff, yeah you could see it as her warning other women about his abuse…so fine. But sharing sexts publicly is not something she should have done, nor did it need to be shared in order to understand what a sexist ass he is.
squid…seriously stop commenting here. stop victim-blaming and promoting this narrative of shutting up abuse victims.
it is GROSS
Why do people feel the need to make everything public? Is the only way people have closure is by posting breakups online? The same with Cardi B and her husband. They accuse each other of cheating online. Why not keep these discussions between them?
I am so horrified at the idea that he baby- trapped his girlfriend, which under the circumstances is entirely plausible. I really hope she has a good support system for when she pulls a Katie Holmes.
I am a board certified psychiatrist and it makes my skin crawl to hear a suggestion that (insert any place or time) is not the right place to talk about abuse.
Or abuse adjacent behavior.
It is so hard to start talking about, and to admit that it’s happening to you, that if someone works up the nerve then they should be able to say their peace and not have to worry about whether everyone finds it palatable.
I also agree that post-partum is rough. Maybe Sarah didn’t get the post-partum roughness because of her prior experiences or lack there of.
“but it would not surprise me at all if Jonah baby-trapped Olivia very early in their relationship as a way to control her.”
Oh he absolutely baby-trapped her. His controlling behavior is escalating.
I’m glad that Sarah has continued to post and speak out even after the toxic comments on Instagram. I do see that she is getting a lot more support on TikTok.
I love that people like clara belletoks/@clarabelletoks is breaking down why it’s toxic in a creative way.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cuh9XC-tS76/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
So many women online (or who even knows, but profiles that in name and photo suggest a female identity) defending Hill. I don’t post on public threads, but I might consider resharing this on one or two. Thanks or posting it!
I only caught up with this story yesterday on here and then went over to Sarah’s IG and read many of the comments there. It is truly horrifying how many are defending Jonah’s abusive and controlling behavior and narrative!! In addition, it is carefully curated through “therapy” language like boundary talk and using his therapist to defend his emotionally abusive behavior, making it all the more manipulative and disgusting. Establishing boundaries for yourself is a positive thing, but that does not correlate to YOU dictating what your partner can and cannot do (like how to dress, who to spend time with). Ugh….
Am I surprised to see this of Jonah Hill? Absolutely not. But every single person should take note of this narrative and language if they see it in the people they are involved with in their life, so they can run the other way. It is not healthy; it is controlling, emotionally abusive, and sick.
I too hope Olivia has a good support system.
Healthy boundaries are those you hold yourself too. Unhealthy boundaries are those you try and impose upon others.
You can’t impose boundaries on someone else. Those are rules. Sometimes people do agree to someone else’s rules and it’s not *necessarily* toxic. But it’s not a boundary. I think this is an important distinction. Inward vs outward.
For the sake of argument, how do you justify trying to get someone to stop binge drinking or abusing drugs? Or hanging out with people who enable similar behaviors? I don’t disagree with you, I’m just wondering where that line actually is.
@Squiddus – for the sake of argument, I can offer my personal experience. You can’t stop someone from binge drinking or abusing drugs or hanging out with enablers. You can’t even stop them from drinking themselves to death, as did one dear friend of mine. All you can do is establish what is acceptable for your life and disengage from what is unacceptable. Couples therapy is about determining mutual acceptability, but if it’s not there, if it can’t be resolved, then you have to move on. That’s what I did – his drinking and death were very sad and I miss him, but it wasn’t my responsibility.
@SquiddusMaximus
You cannot make someone stop bingeing drinking or abusing drugs. Period. The only person’s behavior you can control is YOUR OWN. I know this from personal experience, and learned this the hard way being married to a drug addict. There is no line when it comes to that. If your partner is unwilling to make those changes, and their behavior is a problem as a result, that is on them. You cannot solve their problems or change them. Either accept it or move on. I suggest the latter because being with an addict is a hell I would not wish on my worst enemy.
I love that she waited until his current girlfriend gave birth, to me that shows she’s a caring person and is just looking out for another woman and the baby. His girlfriend needs to know, I’m sure she’s dealing with the same things, even more since they have a baby together. I’m not surprised by this at all, he’s always given off that vibe
It worries me how many men and women are excusing his behaviour and even talking about how reasonable and respectful he sounds! People, let’s not confuse tone with content. Plenty of abusers get you to react emotionally and then use a levelled tone to point out how irrational you are.
What Sarah experienced was insidious. It’s hard to explain it to others because each incident seems small until it’s added together.
This is my story:
I had a male friend who at times was more. It started at 17 when he’d insult my clothes, joke about how I had no boobs or comment on how “old” my hands look under the guise of teasing me because he had a crush. As an inexperienced, young woman the negging put me in a headspace where I always wanted his approval.
Fast forward to our 30s and we reconnect. He’d constantly change the rules on me. Tell me I’m the love of his life, compliment my looks but diminish my accomplishments constantly or pull away without warning and tell me I’m needy when I point it out. When I called him out on picking apart this massive professional success (I had an article published in a major newspaper. He went to school for journalism school and it went nowhere) he said I expected too much? From that point forward, he made every attempt to tear me down, even telling me I needed to be humble after posting a picture at the gym.
During the whole time we were talking my mental health was deteriorating. I saw a therapist and she said he had been destabilizing me. My nervous system was riding all these highs and lows. I recognize it as emotional abuse now.
Oh Emily, how awful. Hope you’re totally free of him now.
As soon as I saw the first texts she released I thought “I totally understand why she needs to do this”, I’m kind of happy for people that don’t get it because it obviously means they’ve never been manipulated to question their own reality. Destabilising is right.
Thanks! It’s true, if someone hasn’t experienced it personally, it doesn’t seem that bad. I read these texts and immediately recognized what he was doing.
I posted a lot on yesterday’s threads about my own experience. That was 25 years ago, and I’ve thought more than once over the years how there was a silver lining because I learned a lot about myself and what I valued in a relationship. But I’m also realizing that it helps me see this type of abuse for what it is. I’m astonished by people who truly don’t recognize it/defend Hill. And yeah as the example above illustrates, swap the genders and it’s suddenly very clear.
Ugh. I’m so sorry. Good for your therapist for identifying what he was doing & good for you for being able to take that in!
It’s not irrational to want your partner to big your biggest supporter and people who defend this stuff are deeply unhealthy and trying to protect their own broken relationships, or expectations, vicariously.
Also maybe it’s me but if someone sounds this detached when such supposedly emotionally crucial issues are being discussed, such huge concerns, I tend to look upon that as a warning sign in itself, especially in matters of love. I’m not saying they should be untethered but there’s a certain lack of emotion there. His calmness is a red flag to me. It suggests some kind of indifference and ulterior motive rather than actual upset.
Emily I am so sorry! And I’ve experienced something similar, to the point my core friend group basically splintered over it (no real loss) the people who took up for a man who manipulated me and chastised me for playing games with him because he was constantly getting angry with me for not following his ever changing rules. Ugh.
It took my best friend showing me how he was slowly trying to cut me off from her & other people who recognized the signs for me to see it. That’s why it’s so important for us to speak up about this behavior. Sometimes you just don’t see it when you’re in the middle of it.
This whole situation has me feeling so disillusioned with the world…once again. Not only because my best friend of 17 yrs was going through this nearly identical situation for 7yrs and I had no idea until she told me, or because it happened to me, but also because I committed this kind of behaviour in my early twenties. I’m an alcoholic and a sexual assault survivor, and I know what it’s like inside the behaviour as well as being on the receiving end of it. Sure, mental health and trauma plays a part, but it’s utterly and totally wrong, and not only should there be consequences, there should be accountability – all of which will look different depending on the situation. I’ve noticed Sarah has predictably been forced to qualify and justify speaking out about it even though sometimes the most powerful thing a person can do is name what happened to them. Whether that’s privately to friends or publicly. As for the person behaving this way, there is no excuse. We can understand where it comes from, we can come to know why cycles of abuse happen, but at some point the cycle has to stop. If you’ve been identified as the person committing it, this is an extraordinary opportunity to change. Sometimes people will forgive you and most times they won’t, and that’s also a part of it. This merch response says Jonah Hill is no where near ready for that and the most important thing I can see now is to surround Sarah with belief and love and to protect her right to speak out. She has started another extremely important conversation about the nuance of abuse and it’s many faces. People who acknowledge what they’ve done don’t get gold stars – but it would at least be a start. Because the progress is so slow we can’t even have the discussion about performative accountability. God this is so frustrating.
I dunno…why not just move on? This wasn’t a long term relationship, it’s been over for longer than it lasted. What’s her end game here? To let the world know that a famous actor might be an awful person? To foment outrage? Don’t we already have enough sources for that?
Living well is still the best revenge.
It’s not easy to move on from emotional abuse, no matter if the actual relationship itself lasted only for a short time.
It may also have taken her some time to recognise it for what it was. If he gaslighted her, she may for some time have believed everything was her fault.
She may have come to realise a number of things over the last months and still feel all the feelings.
Hell, a guy assaulted me at university and that lasted all but 10 minutes and luckily I was able to defend myself, but 4 years later I would still get angry and stress just when hearing his name. Knowing other girls had been through the same with that guy. I understand.
No, it’s not easy, and we’ve all been there. When I was younger, I wanted everyone to know what a jerk some guy (or boss, or whomever) was. Now that I’m (much) older, I see only futility in that approach. It does not foster healing; on the contrary, it prevents it and perpetuates the pain. Get into therapy, heal yourself, move on, get healthy, let him be an asshole to someone else, live your best life. That is the end goal, only and always.
@SeemaLikely “let him be an asshole to someone else” tells me everything about your worldview.
@ What – I’m applauding your comment, and the caring concern that is behind it. No, @SeemaLikely, most of us would not lump “let him be an asshole to someone else” in a list of goals that include “get healthy”and “…healing”.
@ SeemaLikely
What are you on about? first, it was a 7-year relationship so no it wasn’t over before it lasted. Even if it had been a short relationship she would still be within her right to call him out and warn other women about him so they don’t have to go through the same thing.
You are the reason many women stay quiet about their abuse and abuser.
Not sure why you’re so angry at me. I’m just going by what the post said: “Sarah Brady and Jonah Hill dated for something like one year.”
According to the first post he dated Sarah for 7 years he’s been with his current girlfriend for a year.
It was 7 years. One year with the new gf/babymama. Hopefully Kaiser will catch that and make an edit.
The victim blaming in these threads is really gross. If you have ever experienced something like this it’s blindingly obvious what he was doing. And painful to see. I’m still here because I have relevant lived experience and I think it’s important to learn how this stuff works, to be able to avoid it.
These people select their targets carefully. They look for someone who is insecure or unhappy or just looking for love (preferably someone with money, for the broke ass ones) and sweep them off their feet. If they’re famous it’s a million times easier to dazzle someone. Then they start working on your insecurities. It is a pattern of behavior. An incredibly toxic pattern. They start slow and go back and forth at first but eventually it’s all a toxic stew that destroys the target’s self esteem.
I think Sarah is incredibly brave.
I think she might not have realized it was abuse at the time it was happening, but does now, and wants others to understand that this kind of behavior isn’t okay and that you aren’t at fault if you’re on the receiving end of it. I think she’s trying to help others.
It’s therapeutic for her, holds him accountable, and is also a warning to other women who may be involved with someone using the same abusive tactics. I commend her for dragging this ugliness out into the daylight where everyone can see for the garbage behaviour it is.
@SeemaLikely — Having been the victim of similar abuse, you can’t “just move on”. When your self esteem and self respect have been destroyed, it takes a long time to get it back. I told my close friends about it because they were worried about how withdrawn I’d become. I developed anorexia and couldn’t sleep. Part of the healing process is talking about it to people who support you and can help you to get back to your healthy self. I don’t understand why some commenters are dragging her for revealing the abuse or belittling her experience, he is an awful, disgusting man and I’m glad his behaviour is out in the open.
Probably because there is a child involved now. It’s not just these adults making choices and letting them live with the consequences anymore. An innocent baby was thrust into the mix and she had potentially relevant info that might save that child’s mother and family unit a lot of strife ahead of time, thus potentially the child too. And if you don’t go public with it had she only approached her privately, Jonah has enough people with enough power all around the new partner to whitewash things or twist the narrative. I can see the utility of this as a child from a fucked up parental unit. If someone had proof that could have informed my mother of what my father was while I was still a baby my life would be very, very different function, happiness, stability, and achievement-wise. So good on Sarah. This takes some iron will.
perhaps is not easy to just “move on” when you been abused? Who are we to dictate when someone is suppose to move on from their pain and trauma? We cant possibly put a timeline on someone processing their feelings and come to terms with it. I am going through a divorce ( separated 2 yrs ago) and i am still processing all that happened. Sometimes when you are in a relationship is hard to see when someone is abusing and gaslighting you….pretty hard for me after years with my soon to be ex husband. Sometimes we women have a hard time understanding abuse when is not physical. My ex love bombed me, and then little things started creeping in such as dont wear that, this fits you better, why you dont pick up your phone when i call? why are you still talking to that girl…and many more things. I took it as him caring and since it was gradual, i did not even noticed until it was too late. he lied, used my anxiety disorder against me at times to gaslight me, manipulate me and make me feel i was crazy when /i had a few lucid moments and pointed things out. I am still processing all that and. after years of therapy i am understanding some of the really F up things he told me. You have no idea what emotional abuse can do to a person ….how really painful and insidious it is. I would have preferred if he just has slapped me then I could have just recognized him for what he was and moved on, instead he toyed with my heart and emotions and mental health and paper cut me everyday. I am so thankful to my therapist who helped me get out of this dark tunnel as well as helping me with my anxiety disorder to finally find some peace and start planning new things for my life. So yes, perhaps she is just processing all now and realized she was manipulated, gaslighted and abused.
I’m glad you’re getting out of that marriage. It’s so true we have a hard time spotting emotional abuse because its not as obvious as being physically assaulted. I’m many ways, the wounds take longer to heal.
Yes. The endgame IS to let the world know that this priviliged man is an abusive jerk. People need to be outed and put on the spot for abusing, bullying, etc. Yes. We do need more of this calling out and less abuse in the dark.
Its great you havent lived through a toxic enough relationship and have been able to just live your best life, but some abuse you cant just walk away from, nor should you.
People: acuse your abusers, put them in the spotlight. Believe abused People when they bring this to light and hold priviliged People accountable.
Just like the survivors of Marilyn Manson needed to hear/see about other survivors, I think there will be additional survivors of Jonah Hill relationships. We hide some of these things from our friends and it’s easier to confide in total strangers. Sarah Brady probably passed up some great career moves in order to further the relationship with JH, so I hope those sponsors come back.
I work in politics as do many of my closest friends. We text all of the time from our personal phones. However, we all know there are some topics and discussions to never have via text. Why? A couple of reasons.
1. Freedom of Information Act Requests (FOIA). Yes, our personal phones can be FOIA’ed.
2. Screenshots are forever.
Don’t ever text something you wouldn’t want to be broadcast for your entire world to see. Is it probable? No. But it is prudent to be aware of the possibility. Why commit professional Seppuku over a meme?
Jonah Hill is a major celebrity and knows better than to text something he doesn’t want made public. He has handlers that have drilled that into him for years. The fact that he didn’t care and went in hard with the abuse via text tells me he’s toxic AND arrogant.
Personal phones can be subpoena’d vs. FOIA’d. FOIA only applies to government devices. For personal devices, you’d have to go to court and have enough existing evidence for a case to get a subpoena. But your point still stands, that it’s always good to be careful what you put in writing.
It’s good she waited, but this also seems like an oppportune moment off the back of the Keke Palmer incident. It’s a white woman yet again shifting the narrative to her. Same as ‘me too’
I don’t think that’s fair. Sarah revealing this is not stopping anyone from paying attention to what happened with Keke and her partner. If anything, the two things coming out around the same time is kind of high-lighting both of them? People can walk and chew gum at the same time.
Also, the power dynamic in the two relationships was different. Keke was the celebrity, and she apparently ditched the guy after he tried to shame her on Twitter (or maybe even before?). In Sarah’s case, her partner was the famous one and he seems to have used that to hold sway over her. And he continues to be shielded by his celebrity, as many people are defending him despite his abuse.
Notice how he gets to show more cleavage than she does.
Can we stop policing how women deal with their trauma?
This isn’t the only woman speaking out either. He sexually assault a 16 year old when he was 24 (Alexa Nikolas), and there are a lot more women coming out with stories about his bad behaviour.
“Baby trapped”? She could have avoided pregnancy if she wanted to…or you know not give birth. It was her choice to have this baby with him.
Also, regarding the ex-gf. If you read the texts, he clearly says what his “rules” are and she still dated him? Why didn’t she run far away? Why did she agree to that sh*t? She’s a grown ass woman. Why do we want to treat grown ass women like they are children? She knew what he was like, she agreed to his insane terms, and now she’s blasting him all over the internet. The fact she kept the texts after they broke-up means she always planned on making them public. Honey, you chose to get involved with a man who made it clear from day one what he was really like. It’s not like he kept up a fake image and then a year into the relationship showed his true colors. You knew. You knew ! You can’t change a man…no amount of therapy is going to make him NOT be a sexist ass.
Many years ago I got involved with a man who was like Jonah Hill. At first it was all romance and big love, and the controlling and nit-picking started slowly, not at day one. They DO keep up a fake image for a while, then things start to change, slowly and insidiously. They’re so good at it that you don’t see what’s happening until your ego starts to crumble, you start believing the gaslighting and blame yourself for the cracks in the relationship. She didn’t know what he was really like in the beginning, in fact he was probably totally charming and self-effacing. I should have walked the moment the emotional abuse started but by then I was firmly caught in the spider’s web. It took me 2-1/2 years to get out and I told my story to everyone, it helped me to heal and get my self-esteem back.
I am sorry for your experience and thank you for sharing. With Jonah, he texted her saying from the very beginning what he expected in the relationship. He was honest from the get go and showed his true colors from day one. He even said that if she wasn’t ok with it, then they shouldn’t date. In this case, she knew what he was like from the beginning and still chose to date him.
How do you know she knew? We don’t know what he was like with her when they started dating, how he talked to her or treated her. Even if there were red flags from the start, he probably did what many abusers do: blew hot and cold, used a mix of charm and controlling behavior.
She was technically an adult when they met, but very young, in her early 20s. He was older, famous, and seemingly adept at manipulating her.
Read my above comment. She knew. I’m guessing she was ok with his sexist shit at first because he was a celebrity.
Anne – I’m gonna repeat your own first paragraph back to you and the other extremely presumptuous posters here. We don’t what he was like, so maybe back off the angry speculation about what went on? There is SO MUCH projecting coming from these comments based on SO LITTLE actual evidence.
That this conversation has moved into accusing him of “baby-trapping” is dangerous and deranged.
As is the vitriol directed at the few of us who don’t agree entirely with the spin here. ME — I get where you’re coming from, and you don’t deserve to be insulted. You haven’t been rude at all, unlike some of these commenters.
@ SquiddusMaximus
Thank you.
Stop. Just stop. As you say, he’s a grown-ass man. So why is it her responsibility to magically intuit from the jump that he wanted to change everything about her if they were in a relationship. If he had those ground rules from the very beginning why did HE even want to go out with her?
And maybe she started saving those texts because she realized his behavior was red flag after red flag and she needed to start documenting in case things got worse.
Stop what? Are we not allowed to having differing opinions and points of view? He said in his text what he wants in a romantic relationship and if it wasn’t for her then cool. It says it right there. Yes, he’s a grown ass sexist man who isn’t hiding the fact he’s sexist. Ummm I’m guessing he wanted to go out with her because he was attracted to her? He told her what’s up, she could have said “nope” and dipped. She didn’t. That was her choice. Yeah but she kept the texts long after they ended the relationship. We need to stop acting like women are helpless children. In some cases, the man puts on an act for a long time and then starts the abuse. In this case, he was pretty clear from the get go what he wanted. It’s gross and sexist, but hey it’s best a person be honest upfront. If she still chose to date him, that’s on her.
Emotional abuse happens gradually. I doubt he was like this from “day one.” Why are you defending him, @ME?
If he had these rules from day one, he never would have slipped into her DMs. This is him moving the goal posts.
I’m not defending him. You can clearly see me calling him a sexist ass numerous times. His text showed the “rules/boundaries” he wanted. He told her it was ok if she wasn’t cool with it and she can choose to not date him. She chose to stay. This was very clearly early on when they met.
You are victim blaming. Stop it.
The beginning of the text chain was not the beginning of their relationship. Maybe she was starstruck, but no way would she have even considered a relationship on those terms. No surfing with men?!
He waited until she was emotionally invested to try to control her. That’s how this stuff works. He contacted her through her insta, which has photos of her in bathing suits (and surfing with men!) so HE knew what HE was getting into.
The therapist however was definitely starstruck. And/or not too bright. She’s lucky she has a common last name. But she should probably move to NYC because I’m sure people know who she is.
@Me
I think the part that you are missing which was posted in Sunday’s post that he didn’t tell her his so-called “boundaries” before they dated happened I do believe it was several months after they were dating that he told her his “boundaries” after she was already emotional and physically invested into the relationship with his love bombing.
So no she didn’t know about his sexist views and decide to date him anyway, and he changed up in the middle of the relationship.
I missed the Sunday post. Had no idea. I’m just going by the texts posted in this story. The texts here make it seem as if he told her upfront what the deal was. But besides that, thank you Coco, for explaining it maturely instead of attacking. I appreciate that. I’ll go find the Sunday post and read up.
You’re welcome and definitely read the comments if you can because they give more information.
I honestly feel people like you and @Squiddmaximus tend to have an opinion before knwing the whole picture and THATS why both of you are so hanged up on the “we dont what they were like ” “we dont know she didnt know”
She is saying how she was, she is stating and sharing how he was, but somehow you still we cant know how it was like? Okay…
So what if she saved them to make them public? Do you go and delete every message from your ex?
Gaslighting 101
-Make her think she’s being unreasonable at all times
-Talk down to her like a child
-Make her think whatever she does is unimportant
-Your world must revolve around him
-He will make you feel crazy even when you have evidence.ie cheating
Yuck as if this guy could not get worse, an actress literally just accused him of SA her when she was 16 OMG
And that, my dear, is truly effed up. I have no tolerance for that kind of predatory behavior, and he can go feck himself.
Since douches like Hill don’t come with a tattooed warning label, thank god for the Sarah’s of the world being brave enough to expose him!
She knew she’d get blowback/dragged and did it anyway and for that, I commend her!
For me, one of the most insidious parts of this whole saga is when they sought couples counseling the “therapist” actually had Sarah pen a contract that ( among a lot of other problematic pledges) should she ever encounter a male surfer she was to immediately paddle away and say “ I have to meet my bf on the beach!”
With therapists like that no wonder it took her some time to recognize her abuser.
Sarah didn’t name the therapist but I almost wish she would as she needs to come with a warning label too….
Yeah, JFC. I know a relationship counselor is supposed to help couples work out their differences, but some things just should never be OK. You can’t tell your partner not to interact with people of other genders at work or socially because it makes you feel insecure or you think it’s slutty or whatever. That’s crazy. It’s one thing to not be OK with your partner flirting with other people, but another thing entirely to forbid them from even talking to them.
I know that in some religions, this is the policy for married couples. Think Mike Pence and how he couldn’t have a meeting alone with a woman. While I find that disturbing, at least in that case we were talking about a married couple who apparently agreed to the rules when they tied the knot. And it was mutual: he had to keep himself apart as much as she did. Jonah wasn’t claiming to be coming from a place of faith or religion, and they were not married. There was no common understanding of what the rules were when they started dating. He just became controlling and unreasonable to the point where he wanted her to sign a contract that basically stated she was his and no one else could get close.
As an actor, didn’t he have to get close to women? Such a hypocrite. Now I understand why Lauren London had them do CGI in her most recent movie where she had to kiss Jonah. She refused to kiss him. They had to do CGI post-production.
That therapist should definitely come with a warning label. While Ms. Brady needs to avoid potential liability, she could provide information about the education, certifications, professional associations, etc. of said “therapist” that supposedly qualified her to pile on in the guise of couple counseling.
Or her lack thereof, providing others with more information to choose.
I helped my niece out of a situation recently. She is smart, driven and had great boyfriends. She had no idea what gaslighting and love bombing really was since she hadn’t experience it before. It started great and then slowly got controlling, limits, and then physical. The second time he touched her, she went to get a restraining order. He had already gone to the police and lied that she pulled a gun on him. Luckily, he had already done this to somebody else, and the police arrested him for filing a false police report. She was broken and a wreck by the time she asked for help. She got the restraining order, hid at my house for two weeks, installed a security system, sold her vehicle, quit her job, and switched to online college classes. This whole relationship lasted less than five months. So, yes, young women need to hear these experiences and get better exposure so if they do unfortunately run across this, maybe they can help them recognize it sooner. Knowledge is power.
Additionally, I don’t understand why people are upset she made this public. When bad behavior is hinted out, we are upset because we’re not calling out this specific behavior and letting it be known so others can be aware, but this is exactly what she has done and now some people are angry that she said something.
I completely agree. Glad your niece had someone to help her when she needed it.
Jay Baruchel had such a beef with Jonah Hill and his behavior for so long that Seth Rogen wrote it into This Is The End, Baruchel wouldn’t even talk about him for years over whatever happened, despite the fact that they came up together. And even Seth Rogen immediately blurted out “Jonah Hill!” When asked on camera who the most difficult person he ever worked with was. The craziest thing Jonah has done recently isn’t even being talked about, which was his wild hours long interview with Armchair Expert, entirely “in character” as the “Prophet Ezekiel Profit” – I can’t even begin to explain how bizarre that was so I’m BEGGING someone at Celebitchy to do a deep dive on it – the guy is abusive, a pain to work with, and seemingly genuinely unwell – I get that he’s funny, but he wouldn’t be tolerated anywhere in any space if he weren’t SUCH a nepo baby.
He’s a Nepo baby? Who is he related to? I had no idea.
His mother is a costume designer and his father was one of the managers for Guns N Roses (Richard Feldstein) – he and his siblings grew up in Cheviot Hills in LA with a ton of access and went to entertainment adjacent schools like Crossroads – I’m not saying he and his siblings aren’t talented, I’m just saying there’s a reason why all three ended up being so successful in entertainment:
Jonah Hill: actor/writer etc.
Beanie Feldstein: (sister) actress/Broadway etc.
Jordan Feldstein: (late brother) manager for Maroon 5
Thanks for the info. Is there a reason he uses Hill as his last name instead of Feldstein?
I know his birth name was Jonah Hill Feldstein, and that he dropped the Feldstein and went with just Jonah Hill as his stage name – but I don’t actually know why. I saw that he changed it permanently as his legal name too, but I’m not sure what lead to that choice originally.
I remember there being blind items about how Jonah Hill was kinda losing it, that he got heavily into coke on the set of The Wolf of Wall Street and was regularly freaking out in public on women. IIRC the subtext was that he keeps dating sex workers and Instagram models and other women in Hollywood who seek out transactional relationships and then gets upset when they don’t genuinely like him for who he is.
Yup, I saw that too. Years ago he totally unloaded on his then girlfriend at a restaurant for being late to dinner and there were some people who saw it – something about it making him look like a fool. It’s interesting too that he becomes swiftly engaged to everyone he dates – there were 2-3 broken engagements before the surfer. And if you want to hear something REALLY wild go check out his hours long interview with Armchair Expert, entirely “in character” as the “Prophet Ezekiel Profit” – I can’t even begin to explain how bizarre that was and it was just this summer that he did it, so whatever is wrong with his well-being it clearly hasn’t been resolved since the breakup.
It really does show a big person who can acknowledge they might have overstepped and also a big heart when they vociferously defend a fellow human being ❤️
Recovering from a relationship like this one myself. So emotionally spent…anxiety!!! I’m happy to be free but the whole experience haunts me and I keep thinking about it. Don’t blame her at all for exposing him. She is probably still dealing with the mental repercussions. Love bombing, negging, controlling, destabilizing, gaslighting… it’s hard to get over that!!!
Ugh his texts are super controlling and toxic. But is it “abuse”?
I am glad for the National conversation on the way men are with women. It’s truly fruitful and his behavior is not ok.
Yes controlling behavior is a form of abuse. Not to mention him weaponization therapy and his Psychiatrist to manipulate her .
I think it can be, but it’s a sliding scale imho. I wouldn’t just paint it as abuse outright.
@J
Textbook abuser behavior is to control their victims by telling the how to dress, who they can associate with, what to eat, where can and can not go, and so on. The goal is to breakdown their victims and isolate them so that they are solely reliant on their abuser.
I guess you also missed the other women who came out and said Hill sexually assaulted her when she was 16 and he was in his 30s
I dated a guy for a couple years, and we were even briefly engaged during the pandemic. After I ended things (he had anger management issues that started effecting my health), he tried to get me to sign a contract dictating what behavior would and wouldn’t be accepted in our relationship. It was mind-boggling since we’d already broken up (?!), but also kind of scary. It made me feel like I dodged a bullet.
This is so typical of men. They want a hot piece until they get jealous. Madonna/Whore BS. As for her waiting to reveal this until after the delivery, I thought this was a bit silly at first but I get it given how quickly Millar got pregnant. She barely knows Jonah. He seems like a handful.
Did Sarah call Jonah The GOAT in one of the messages?? Seriously he is the greatest *what* of all time? Certainly not actor or comedian. The compliments she was giving that guy were over the top and yet the main thing he wanted to say was a list of demands that were not normal. They were isolating and restrictive and the fact that people -even on gossip websites!- don’t want her to talk about it speaks volumes.
What if we flipped the genders and a male surfer had posted texts from his ex-girlfriend where she demanded he take down pics of his tattoos showing or him with his shirt off. I’m sure many people on Jonah’s side now would be flipped over to the guy’s side in that situation. No matter what the argument is if it’s men vs women there are always way more people -especially men- on the guy’s side.
Seems like lot of grey in all this. Just read this article in my local paper and it’s says it’s wrong when you’re talking away the rights of your partner: https://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/boundaries-or-ultimatums-how-therapy-speak-changed-the-language-of-relationships-20230710-p5dn1g.html