Many of us were surprised last summer when Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara announced their separation. They ended up filing for divorce, and everything was finalized quickly (they had a prenup), Joe got custody of Sofia’s dog Bubbles and I think Joe walked away with a couple of million. One of the main issues, as it turned out, was that Joe wanted to become a father and Sofia simply wasn’t into it. She’s already a mom, and her son is already 32 years old (she had Manolo when she was 19). Sofia never really talked about that side of her divorce before now, but she’s currently promoting her Netflix miniseries Griselda, and she ended up addressing it with El Pais:
Sofía Vergara is confirming that Joe Manganiello’s desire to have children led to their divorce.
“My marriage broke up because my husband was younger; he wanted to have kids, and I didn’t want to be an old mom,” the actress, 51, recently told El País. “I feel it’s not fair to the baby.”
The “Modern Family” star made sure to note that although she “respect[s]” those who wish to welcome children later in life, the path is just “not for [her] anymore.”
“I had a son at 19, who is now 32, and I’m ready to be a grandmother, not a mother,” she explained of Manolo Gonzalez Vergara, whom she shares with her first husband, Joe Gonzalez.
“I’m almost in menopause; it’s the natural way of things,” she said, adding, “When my son becomes a dad, let him bring the baby to me for a while and then I’ll give it back to him and go on with my life; that’s what I have to do.”
But make no mistake; Sofía is open to love again — as long as her next romantic partner has kids of his own. The Emmy Award nominee debuted her relationship with an orthopedic surgeon named Justin Saliman in October 2023. It’s unclear whether he has children.
I feel sorry for her a little bit because this was her second relationship in a row which ended because she basically didn’t want to be a mother again. I think she believed that Joe was fine with it and maybe he was… until he wasn’t. But Sofia has every right to feel this way and if she didn’t want to go through the whole baby rigamarole thing in her late 40s, so be it. That’s her choice.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
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- Joe Manganiello, Sofia Vergara attends the 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 05, 2020 in Beverly Hills, California © Jill Johnson/jpistudios.com,Image: 562855812, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: jpistudios.com / JPI Studios / Avalon
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- Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara arrive at the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party held at the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 9, 2020 in Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 563481602, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251, Model Release: no, Credit line: Xavier Collin / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara attends the 2022 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones celebrating the 94th annual Academy Awards at the Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on March 27, 2022 in Beverly Hills, California,Image: 673513844, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara, Credit line: – / JPI Studios / Avalon
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- Sofia Vergara attends the photocall for Madrid premiere of Netflix miniseries ‘Griselda’ Featuring: Sofia Vergara Where: Madrid, Spain When: 09 Jan 2024 Credit: Cordon Press/INSTARimages **USA AND AUSTRALIA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- Sofia Vergara arrives at ‘Good Morning America’ in New York Featuring: Sofia Vergara Where: New York, United States When: 15 Jan 2024 Credit: Roger Wong/INSTARimages
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- Sofia Vergara arriving back at her hotel from ‘The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon’ where she spoke about her new Netflix’s show ‘Griselda’ in New York Featuring: Sofia Vergara Where: New York, United States When: 16 Jan 2024 Credit: Roger Wong/INSTARimages
This is exactly why I don’t date any man younger than 45. The potential for them to change their mind about wanting children is there and that’s okay. But I do not want children. I’m totally okay with being a step-grandma but I do not want children of my own.
I hope Sofia finds love with a man who is genuinely past any chance of wanting children.
I wish Joe all the happy babies he and his partner(s) want.
My boyfriend’s in his 30s and had a vasectomy bc he had two kids already. Reversed it so we could shoot for the moon (I’m early 40s) and maybe have a child…but happy either way. I think the key is dating a man who already has children, isn’t pining for more, and therefore likely won’t change his mind (to the point of breaking up over it).
A vasectomy would definitely be a reason I would be willing to date a 40-45 yo (anything younger is too young for me, I’m 56 yo).
But I don’t want stepchildren who are young enough for me to have to care for or live with.
Yup same! I am 50 now and in the last few years didn’t want to date men who didn’t already have kids. I did not want to be with someone who suddenly at 48 was like “oooooh but maybe I DO want kids!”.
I also love seeing how a man is as a father. It told me a lot!
My current partner is one year younger but has two teens. He is an amazing father and has a vasectomy. Perfect! We thought about having a kid for 5 seconds then immediately said NOPE! haha
Hmm no, that has never been my experience. I always stated I didn’t want children and I’ve dated from 15 years older and now my husband is the same age gap reversed. You just need to have 2 mature people in the relationship, knowing what they want.
True that men can change their mind but they’d be the same at 50-60 for them, as they can have kids until they live.
This is why I’m usually against age differences in relationships, it’s not so much about age but experiences and where people are and what they want in life. I don’t fault Joe, I’m sure in the beginning it was understood but later he changed his mind. We are allowed to change our minds in life. However it is always easier for the man to change his mind in issues like this.
It is much easier for the man to change his mind. This makes me sad, though. I liked them as a couple and was hoping the break up wasn’t over children. She was probably sure going in that she was done raising children and he was so in love he didnt care at the time.
You’re right, the gap doesn’t manifest in age so much as experience. For example, I dated a guy my age who didn’t have kids and had never sustained a relationship for longer than 2 years and admitted he mentally bailed around 18 months. In his whole adult life. He was emotionally about 19. He also insisted that I didn’t somehow know more about relationships than he did (I had been in one with my ex for 15 years and told him maybe I knew something about sustaining a relationship over time that he didn’t know, given that I actually had). The emotional immaturity was glaring.
My current boyfriend is 8 years younger but we both experienced a decade-long marriage and have kids the same age. I just find your experiences shape your attitudes so much more than your actual age; some people will remain emotionally teenagers throughout their lives. Others might’ve accumulated more life experiences at a young age and be drawn to older partners/older experiences…I think that happens with child actors.
I thought the same thing, he must have changed his mind, as I think she was pretty clear a while ago that she wasn’t having any more kids. People are entitled to change their mind, and I guess it was enough to end the marriage over. Hopefully they both get what they want in life.
I can’t see why he would have gotten any money from her though in the divorce? They both have decent careers, she has a ton more money I’m sure, but it’s not like he’s working minimum wage.
Age doesn’t play a role in that, as I’ve had a boyfriend who was quite older than me and ended up with kids after our relationship ended when he was in his 50ies.
It happens. Respect to her for knowing her mind and not allowing herself to be talked into a situation she did not want. She seems to be very much looking forward to the next phase in her life (being a grandmother to Manolo’s kids) and not going backwards.
I kinda hate it that she feels she has to couch it in- its not fair to the baby.
She should just be able to say- look- i’ve done this- i do not want to do it again. It is a whole different world, and a lifetime of work. And no thank you. Glad i did it. Never doing it again.
My point is only that our society judge’s harshly anyone who is not desperate to be a mother.
There are no bad guys in the situation. They both wanted different things and that may have changed over time – that’s what happens in life sometimes. Better that they split then either of them compromise on their own happiness.
Good for her!
Joe, on the other hand, is 47 and will be an old dad. Good luck with that, bud.
LOL right? It’s not like he’s 35. I guess it just goes to show that men have the luxury of changing their minds at ANY age.
Let’s not pretend he’s going to do any heavy lifting in that department! He’ll have a (much) younger wife, and she will have plenty of help (nannies, housekeeper, etc). He’ll be around to change an occasional diaper (if that), and call the nanny when he’s done “playing” with the child or the kid’s crying gets on his nerve. HIS life really won’t change.
Yes and no. He and his partner will definitely have more parental privileges than the average parent. However, he seems like he would be fully invested in being a dad and not just a glorified sperm donor. *coughNickCannoncough*
An old RICH dad. He’ll be fine. lol
I always said if I was a dude I would have wanted kids in my 30s stat! But given where primary caregiving lies and as much as men want to be ‘modern’ I found many loved the idea of a well educated career woman as long as they were willing to drop it all when it was baby time. Ya no thanks my dude.
I am 42 and definitely want to date older men with teen children because I have had massive fertility issues and do not want to attempt IVF at my age. I noticed on the dating apps a lot of men 35-42 definitely state they want kids on their profiles.
Joe is less than 4 years younger than Sofia. When he was a freshman, she was a Senior in High School. Not a huge age gap here. My guess he knew he wanted kids going into this and thought he could slowly get her to change her mind. And after her frozen eggs’ drama with her stalker ex. Why would she. Sofia does not have time for that. I’m 52 and the thought of kids now is horrifying. I would rather be on a beach with a margarita.
I guess he looked at George Clooney’s life and is like hey I want to be a 60-year-old dad to toddlers too.
Good luck buddy.
I doubt he is happy about being an older dad. He was 38 when he gave an interview to Haute Magazine during their engagement and talked about how he couldn’t wait to get married and start a family. He even went in depth about how he wanted to raise his child or children. He also said he and Sofia had discussed children when they first got together, and he asked her where she stood on that. And she made similar remarks in interviews about the fact that he was only 38 and would want a child.
It sounds like they were very much in love and were more positive early on about trying to have a child together, being open to it, and for whatever reason or reasons, it never happened,
My guess is they probably did try and it didn’t happen easily, so she was facing more complicated and invasive treatments and they had different views about whether to continue trying. I did IVF to have my son but if it didn’t work I would not have wanted to keep trying indefinitely, or use donor eggs which is usually the recommendation for older ladies who aren’t having success with standard IVF.
Even if he gets his GF pregnant tomorrow, Joe’s still gonna be pushing 70 when his kid is just graduating college. That’s being an old parent which is his choice, but I don’t blame Sofia at all for not wanting any part of that. She’s raised her kid already, she’s fabulous, rich and gorgeous. If I were her, I’d want to just enjoy my life without the responsibility of raising a kid.
Justin indeed has a child, with the actress Bree Turner. They got divorced years ago and are happily coparenting. He has done surgery on family members and they all adored him. So – seems like a good fit!
Aww, that’s good to hear!
Grandchildren are the best! You see them , love them and send them home. I like her common sense approach.
I completely get what she means. She’s 51! I’m not even 40 and I have two teenagers; I work with little ones but that’s all the fix I need. Between her and Jennifer Garner – and Jennifer Aniston! – who STILL get speculated over whether they’re pregnant or if they regret not having more/any kids…it’s absurd and inappropriate. Just because a woman looks young enough doesn’t mean she actually is. And just because she is doesn’t mean she should have to. The remarks I’ve gotten in my own life, just disgusting – from my own grandmother stating matter of fact my she KNEW my second was a boy because I wouldn’t stop trying until we had a boy (incorrect – he is a boy but had he been a girl I still would’ve been done) to the family with four girls who asked me in actual shock WHY I would have a tubal ligation after my second child (I was early 20s), to my father in law constantly talking to me like I’m a child “Aw you love kids, don’t you, since you work with them, you should give me another grandchild” and his horrified look when I replied “their parents pay me and I’m almost 40, I had my tubes tied 14 years ago, stop asking me.” I’m over it. Leave us alone 🤣
Based on the comments they made at the beginning they seemed to be on the same page about having kids, and it didn’t happen for whatever reason, so it didn’t work out. That’s life. She’s more gracious than me, bc I just really didn’t like the way he ran to the tabloids after the split.
What she said to Redbook when they married: “As for having another child, Sofía, who became a single-mom to her son Manolo when she was 20, is open to the idea. “Joe is younger than me. He’s 38. He’s never had kids. How am I going to say no? I tell him if we’re going to do this, we have to do it, like, now, because I don’t want to be 50 with a baby.”
Another comment she made to ET: “He’s younger than me and he’s never had kids, so of course if we can do it, why not?” Sofia, 42, told ET’s Brooke Anderson on the red carpet. “It needs a lot of planning, but we have to leave it to God to see if it happens.”
I was surprised over the years that they didn’t, because he said when he was single that he wanted children. At the time, I thought maybe they were putting it off because her ex was suing her about the frozen embryos, and maybe she wanted that behind her first. But the lawsuits went on for many years. Plus, you never know what is going on in private. People often try through different means and it doesn’t work out. It’s a sensitive subject.
They are both nice people, but ended up being at different places in their lives as time went on.
She could have said she didn’t want more kids without passing judgment on a whole generation of women (millennials) who became “old moms” due to a combination of factors. It sucks that she felt that she needed to justify her choice to begin with though. It should be enough to just say “didn’t want more kids”.
Totally agree. It’s her choice but that doesn’t mean being an older mom isn’t right for some. BTW, my parents had me at age 46. I’m the youngest of 8. They were always old to me, but I didn’t know any different – your folks are your folks 😉
Well said.
I’m 110% with Sofia-if she didn’t want kids, that is to absolutely be respected, but shouldn’t this have been ironed out when they got married? She was in her early 40s and whether she would carry, adopt or have a surrogate, that would be the time to make a decision-both of them. If he changed his mind 5 or so years into the marriage, and it became a deal-breaker, that’s really unfortunate. Really.
When the first glow of love passes and reality sets in. They probably thought they wanted the same thing. I hope it was a discussion before the marriage. Joes has the right to want children and she has the right not to want anymore. Too bad, they seem to be a good match.