Austin Butler on calling ex Vanessa Hudgens ‘a friend’: I was respecting her privacy


I’m finding Austin Butler to be a fascinating young(ish) actor. Granted, I’ve only seen him in one performance, the one where he plays a leading man breaking out and desperate to make all the right moves and be taken seriously. But he’s really giving that role all he’s got! Right now Austin is doing double promo duties for his Apple+ series Masters of the Air (out now), and Dune: Part Two premiering March 1. Esquire put him on their March cover, and Austin gave them the kind of extra, overly self-aware yet somehow not self-aware at all interview we’ve come to love and expect from him. A few highlights:

‘The architecture of your mouth’: [Butler] has spoken about how certain face movements and poses are subconsciously adopted and how a voice is just the architecture of your mouth, which can get caught in patterns that make you sound like someone you aren’t. Weren’t. How living as another person — which is exactly what he did — isn’t something you drop, no problem, simply because the cameras are down. He does it again today. “There’s no denying you create habits … I had been practicing one way of using the muscles in my mouth for a long time, so it was a process of trying to unlearn those.”

The quick turnaround from Elvis to Masters: Having a project to distract him from the despair he felt over leaving the titular role was, Butler thought, going to be helpful. “There was something comforting about knowing I could pour myself into something else,” he says. His body had other plans. Three years of spiraling further and further down the rabbit hole of someone else’s psyche and abandoning his own sense of self completely had taken their toll. The morning after production on Elvis ended, at 4:00, he woke up in excruciating pain. Possibly his appendix? Butler was admitted to the hospital. Except it wasn’t his appendix. Or Covid. “My body just crashed.”

Oh good grief: The space between what you want to know about Austin Butler and what he wants to reveal is not a gap but a gulf. A throwaway question like “Do you live in an apartment or a house?” leads to a pause. A house in L.A., he answers at first, and an apartment in New York. “How much do I want to say about this?” he wonders aloud after the admission. I ask him if he’s eaten anywhere good while in town. “This is also hard,” he says in response to my second-easiest question. “I never know when I’m giving my favorite spots away.”

He’s curating his stardom: The thing is, Butler wants to be a particular kind of star. Not just a celebrity. Not just an actor. And he doesn’t want to mess it up. Certainly not by sharing too much. … That desire to probe and share is diametrically opposed, he says, “with the type of career that I want to have, which is to be able to step into all these different types of people. I think of the days of Paul Newman — we didn’t know a ton about his personal life.” It’s like that with a lot of the stars he admires. Leonardo DiCaprio. Christian Bale. Daniel Day-Lewis.

The friend faux pas: Last winter, as his Best Actor campaign began to bubble, it blew up in his face. When asked if he’d always wanted to play Elvis in a movie, Butler answered that “a friend” once told him he was a fit for the part. Except that friend was his former partner of nine years, Vanessa Hudgens, and she had, before and after his casting, posted about it on Instagram. The Internet ate him up, accusing him of downgrading her role in his life. “Oh, yeah, I learned a lesson with that one … I felt that I was respecting her privacy in a way and not wanting to bring up a ton of things that would cause her to have to talk. I have so much love and care for her. It was in no way trying to erase anything.” … The two dated for most of their twenties; their relationship saw the death of both Butler’s mother and Hudgens’s father. It was real, and those moments, as Butler sees it, belong only to them. “I value my own privacy so much,” he says. “I didn’t want to give up anybody else’s privacy.”

[From Esquire]

Where do we start? Austin is way over the top, for sure, but I feel like the interviewer was really meeting him halfway here. Case in point: “A project to distract him from the despair” of finishing Elvis. He’s got his own Greek Chorus with this writer! The part that had me howling the most, though, was his treating the fairly innocuous questions of “where do you live and eat” like he’s an undercover agent tasked with guarding state secrets. “A house in one city, and an apartment in another. CURSES, I’ve said too much!!” I also barked out a laugh at the suggestion that we don’t know anything about Leo DiCaprio’s personal life. Please.

With regards to Vanessa Hudgens, are we buying his explanation? It’s not a (state) secret they dated, nor that she championed him for Elvis. Why would saying “my ex” instead of “a friend” have been betraying her privacy? And finally, “not wanting to bring up a ton of things that would cause her to have to talk,” was… not the best assemblage of words from him.

Photos credit: Robbie Fimmano for Esquire, received via promotional email, Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon

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26 Responses to “Austin Butler on calling ex Vanessa Hudgens ‘a friend’: I was respecting her privacy”

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  1. MrsCope says:

    Of course we don’t believe him LOL. She’s a fellow actor, not some random bookkeeper in Scranton whose life would be blown up by the revelation. He was trying to erase her from his story and success.

  2. StillDouchesOfCambridge says:

    He says he likes that some movie stars are able to keep their lives under wraps (leo hahaha), so i guess i believe him when he says he wanted to keep some privacy for vanessa. He ambitions to be famous but private and mysterious ouuuuuhhh but really, i don’t wanna know anything. And I saw Vanessa’s house on open door, love her & her kitchen

  3. emmlo says:

    Oooh this has been an episode of Austin Butler Says Words.

  4. AlpineWitch says:

    “He was trying to erase her from his story and success”

    Bingo, Mrscope!!

    He’s a nothingburger that should thank the Gods he has a career! I can’t with him, really.

  5. BaronSamedi says:

    As always damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If he plasters his relationship all over insta and calls the paps to feed the machine – he’s asking for it and doesn’t deserve a choice in what he reveals and what he keeps for himself.

    If he tries to set reasonable boundaries and doesn’t want crazy people showing up at his favorite restaurant after mentioning it once – he’s a weirdo who’s obviously way too full of himself.

    I would prefer celebrities being allowed to disappear when they are not promoting anything and having a choice in what they reveal about their private lives.

    • AB says:

      I feel the same. I haven’t seen him act in anything so I have no horse in this race lol but I don’t think there’s a problem with him wanting to keep a little of his life to himself. I’m sure like all these young actors he has some extreme fans who would probably set up shop outside anywhere he mentions he might be seen, or sleuth out where he lives.

    • Flan says:

      I am with you. I am so tired of all this pointless drama over nothing. Who among us wouldn’t also deflect on a question about an ex.

  6. Michel says:

    Idk – when I talk about my exhusband to people I refer to him as my friend. Saying exhusband has such bad connotations and he is my friend now.

    • Kate says:

      Yeah, I think the response trying to explain the terminology is weirder than the original mention of her as a friend. Because exactly as you say, why can’t she be considered a friend now?

  7. sevenblue says:

    I can’t take him seriously after seeing the photo of his ex meeting his current girlfriend when the current girlfriend was a child. It is like that SNL sketch “Meet your future wife”.

    • lilacwine says:

      Uh yeah, time passes. When that pic you speak of was taken, Austin was 15. And Vanessa’s current husband was 10, also a child. So your point is…??

  8. Angie says:

    His crime is overthinking & being sincere & grappling w fame. The words may be ineloquent but he doesn’t want his ex to spend any time responding in the press to what he said to the press. See: John Stamos, and many many others. Him sloppily and inarticulately with a dash of arty in his boundary drawing to me is still kindness & integrity. And I’ve not watched anything w him in it & yet I’m kind of a fan! Pulling for him, anyway.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    I don’t really feel one way or the other about Austin. Just dropping by to say I’m really enjoying Masters of the Air. I am a a big Band of Brothers fan, and it hits a lot of the same notes.

    • Kimmy says:

      Same! I really like it. I will say I am watching it for Barry Keoghan and I needed a fix after Saltburn.

      Austin is fine in it, although I find him kind of mumbly. He plays broody well.

      • Elizabeth says:

        I haven’t seen Saltburn yet, but I can totally see why you’d watch another show/movie/etc just because he’s in it! He seems very talented.

  10. Karen Van Wagner says:

    Vanessa Hudgens paid his bills and kept him going in the industry for 10 years, but the moment his star rose he dropped her like a hot potato. Now he wants to create a narrative that he did it without her. Also, I think she got married to her ball player husband to prove to everyone that she was OVER him. She is not.

    • Red says:

      This is weird. Austin has been a consistent actor since his childhood. I’m not sure how you got that she was paying his bills lol Also, all she did was suggest he could sing. Denzel Washington was the one who championed Austin to get that role.

    • Flan says:

      There is no evidence to support your claim. He probably had his own money from working. And she seems very much in love with her new husband, I saw in an interview or something how they met during COVID on a virtual yoga or meditation meeting and think that’s so cute. She doesn’t have to prove anything

    • lilacwine says:

      Come on, drop the ‘she paid his bills’ line- he’d been consistently working as an actor, assume not for free, since before they met. Sure, not anything memorable if over the age of 18 during the 2010’s but take a look on imdb. Also, he didn’t ‘drop her’ as soon as he became a star- they broke up before Elvis even filmed, before covid. He could’ve easily fallen flat on his face & gone into obscurity while broken up. The relationship ran its course, as most do. None of us should be forced to discuss an ex of now 4+ years ago.

  11. Kitten says:

    It’s easy for me to believe it because I too have referred to exes as friends numerous times throughout my life–typically because they did become my friend but even with the messy ones, sometimes it’s just easier to say friend than “ex” which might prompt more questions that you don’t necessarily want to answer. I would feel differently if Vanessa was his partner at the time but he was clearly just protecting her privacy and respecting boundaries.

  12. Squints says:

    Maybe he did not want to go into any conversation about their prior relationship. I think referring to her now, as a friend then, could be that they are friends now. Perhaps.

  13. Ale says:

    It looks like e was pretending to give an interview, somebody should tell him this is reality

  14. Hello kitty says:

    I simply cannot hear this admittedly talented kid go on about his Elvis impression anymore. It was fine but it’s over. We all understand what he did for the role and here’s your flowers blue ribbon gold star and first place medal. He sounds unintelligent talking about his ex and making the comparison to Leo, but hey I have no reason to think he has a high IQ so whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️

  15. K says:

    Is he the Department Chair for the Tortured Poets.

  16. C says:

    This dude always makes think of Napoleon Dynamite getting a makeover from Tom Ford – Austin would be the result.

  17. nolee says:

    Because it’s annoying to always hear my ex. My ex was such a big part of my life, 50% of stories I tell would involve saying “my ex,” which seems like all you do is talk about your ex lol. So I just say my friend unless it’s relevant to bring up that he was my ex. I def believe him because she would be asked about it in interviews or their relationship would be brought up again. I guess it was but that’s because he prob forgot she posted that on Insta