Sofia Vergara: Nature says you’re supposed to be menopausal at 50, not having babies

Sofia Vergara spent the better part of a decade with two different men who were hellbent on putting a baby in her. The first was Nick Loeb, who spent years post-split trying to get “custody” of the embryos they created while they were engaged. Then there was Joe Manganiello, who seemingly married Sofia knowing that she wasn’t interested in having another child (her son Manolo is in his 30s). I tend to believe that Joe was fine with not having children with Sofia… until he wasn’t. Until he changed his mind at some point, and the marriage fell apart. Sofia has explained her point of view in a few interviews since then, that at 51, she just thinks she’s too old to be a mother again and she doesn’t want to be an “old mom.” Sofia covers People Magazine’s Most Beautiful Issue, and she once again spoke about the baby issue.

She loves being older: “I think now that I’m older, it’s great because you know exactly what you like. I just do what makes me feel confident and beautiful. I’ve never really cared that much about what people think. But now I really care less.”

She adores her son Manolo: “It is great that I had him young, because now I’m going to be 52, and he’s 32. I wish I was older sometimes, because I would’ve been more mature, more prepared to be a mother, but that was what I got and what happened. So I just kept going and try not to look back at it, because it is what it is. But it is fun because I kind of grew up together with my son.”

Not wanting to have another child is what caused her divorce from Joe: “There’s things in life that might sound like good ideas, but they’re not. I was a mother already. I know what it means to be a good mother or to try to be the best mother that you can, and that takes a lot of sacrifices, takes a lot of energy.”

Her thoughts on older motherhood: Now, “thanks to science, women can actually have babies older. Before, nature for some reason tells your body at 50 you are in menopause, it’s time for you to be done with that. There is a reason why nature is doing that. But that’s for me, and I totally respect where anyone wants to be a mom after 50. I didn’t think because of my career, the way I live my life, the way my marriage was, that it was fair to bring a kid to this world, and I’m not going to be able to give 100 percent.”

[From People]

I’m live-and-let-live about older motherhood, and that’s the modern trend as well, for women to become mothers later and later. If that’s what you want, go for it and god bless. But as I get older, I understand why women in their late 30s, 40s and 50s are saying “no mas, I’m not doing it.” Like, going through all of that for the first, second or third time in your late 40s? Again, if that’s what you want, God bless. But it just seems so tough. I also understand what Sofia is saying – she was a young mother, she knows how difficult it is and she simply never wanted to do it all over again.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, cover courtesy of People.

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22 Responses to “Sofia Vergara: Nature says you’re supposed to be menopausal at 50, not having babies”

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  1. KeKe Swan says:

    Cautionary note for the youngsters out there, she’s generalizing to make a point. Nature doesn’t automatically cut you off at 50, fertility-wise. Hence, what used to be called “the change of life baby.” 😘

    • Normandes says:

      I’ve had so many friends struggle with fertility and know women from a past generation that had children well into their 40s. It was because they already had multiple children and being pregnant/breast feeding stops the cycle. Freeze your eggs young ladies, I kinda wish I had.

      • Paulkid says:

        I read an article on freezing your eggs, something my daughter has been planning . The success rate is below 40% and many problems occur due to improper cold storage during transport for implantation. If this is the choice you make, consider having the implant procedure done near the location where the eggs are stored and not have them sent to a more distant location.
        Frozen embryos have a greater success rate, but the cost is greater.

      • meli says:

        Freezing your eggs isn’t so easy and definitely not cheap! That type of cold storage is very pricey and most women can’t afford it.

      • Mrs.Krabapple says:

        I think adoption is a better option than freezing eggs, I wish people didn’t feel compelled to have a “biological” child as if that’s they only way to have kids, or their biological kids will somehow be better than an adopted kid.

    • Concern Fae says:

      As someone who found herself in the hospital with a surprise miscarriage in her late 40s, l concur

      That said, going through fertility treatments to have a post or peri menopausal pregnancy is not a safe thing to do. Knew a cancer doctor furious over patients in their 50s leaving behind young children.

      Good on Sophia for recognizing her truth (and reality).

    • GrnieWnie says:

      I call it a menopause baby…I’m in my early 40s and hoping for one. I already had a child so fingers crossed. Halle Berry got pregnant naturally at 47.

      • Brenda says:

        She stated she got pregnant naturally at age 47, and her physician who is bound to state and federal privacy law was not going to say anything else.

        Also, I would get a good legal consultation before I froze my eggs or did any other level of assisted reproduction in a red state 🙁

  2. Normandes says:

    Fertility is hard now at any age. I tried for years to get pregnant in my early 30s and didn’t succeed naturally until 37. Any decision a woman makes in any direction is always ok by me. It is ultimately the woman’s decision. Period.

  3. MaryContrary says:

    I get what she’s saying. I had my last at 42-when he was little I still had lots of energy. I had other kids too-so I had a full, fun house. I notice it more now as I’m in my late 50s and he’s in high school. Not going to lie-it’s harder now. My older kids are out of the house and I’m tired-lol. I would never change how it went-he’s amazing-but I do look forward to the next stage.

  4. Isa says:

    Based on interviews when they first got together, Sofia and Joe were on the same page about having kids. It didn’t happen for whatever reason. It’s okay to change your mind about kids for any reason, but I definitely understand getting closer to 50 and not wanting to start all over.

    • Elizabeth says:

      What changed was when Joe was on Finding Your Roots and discovered that he wasn’t descended from the awful people he thought he was.

  5. Kate says:

    “I didn’t think…the way my marriage was, that it was fair to bring a kid to this world”

    So it was not wanting to be an older mom/change her lifestyle AND it doesn’t sound like a super solid marriage anyway.

    • Yup, Me says:

      It might not be that the marriage wasn’t solid, but that she knew it wasn’t the type of marriage that was conducive to raising a child. They were partying and traveling and doing a lot of things that you have to stop when you have a baby and if the person who most wanted the baby is not the person likely to do the bulk of the work, that’s not a marriage where it’s wise to have a baby. It can still be a great companionship. She had experienced being a mother and how much work it takes and she probably could tell that Joe wasn’t going to be the primary parent.

  6. Dani says:

    Have kids when you’re ready to have them or don’t, who cares? Live and let live, not all of us have been so lucky to meet the right partner in our 20s.

  7. Yup, Me says:

    Good for Sofia. I love so much about this interview. I have two children. I adore them both. I have been an involved and dedicated mother to our boys and now I’m clear that I am absolutely done with pregnancy and childbirth. My husband has said, for years, that he would love to have more babies because he loves being a father and I’ve told him “If you are certain about that, I wish you the very best of luck in a future partnership because I am not the one. We’ll still be family and friends. Do not ask me to babysit. I’ll be traveling and getting weekly massages and laughing at you being an old, tired dad.”

  8. Marcia says:

    I totally get what she’s saying. Nature cuts off the factory at some point for women. And while it’s a relief to not have periods, the physical changes during peri-menopause and menopause, not to mention appearance changes after it’s all over … not a lot of fun. She’s an anomaly.

  9. asdf says:

    She’s absolutely right and she should say it. And someone needs to tell this to men as well. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Medically speaking 40s is already pushing it. Men and women should stop trying to conceive when the body is past that stage. The children will be the ones to suffer from the consequences like congenital diseases, etc.

  10. Shawna says:

    In case anyone’s interested, evolutionary science has theorized that humans have menopause, unlike any other species, because human babies take so long to raise, and their raising is so complex, that grandmothers—invested in the DNA of the next generation—are there to help. Human women are cut off from reproduction to help drive that decision to help. (Now, I do have people seeing grandmas as free childcare, and I certainly don’t have help myself from my son’s grandmas; this is a scientific theory, not an ethical argument.)

  11. GreenCurry says:

    I love kids but, as a 40-something woman, am glad I never had them and am committed to never having them, mainly due to the state of the world/environment. But I don’t judge anyone for having / not having.

  12. Mcmmom says:

    I yearned for another baby well into my mid 40s, but I’m now in my early 50s and grateful it didn’t happen for us. I am trying my damndest to stay in good shape so that if I’m blessed with grandchildren, I’ll be an active and engaged grandmother.