Kylie and Jason Kelce’s youngest daughter, Finnley, turned one on Monday, March 30. Happy birthday, Finn! Their three older daughters are Wyatt, six, Elliotte, five, and Bennett, three. As a mother of four, Kylie has never shied away from sharing her opinion on different parenting issues on her podcast, Not Gonna Lie. Kylie appears on this week’s episode of the Sunday Sports Club podcast. True to form, she spoke out about a subject that is near and dear to her heart: unsolicited advice. Unsurprisingly, Kylie does not welcome it.
While appearing on the March 29 episode of the Sunday Sports Club podcast, the media personality and mom of four, 34, opened up about her disdain for “unsolicited mom advice,” and admitted to host Allison Kuch that she has an “underlying anger” toward anyone who gives it.
Explaining what exactly she means by “unsolicited mom advice,” Kylie said, “Like, when people see you out with your kid, and they’re like, ‘They should have a hat on.’ I’m like, ‘You should mind your f—ing business.’ ”
“ ‘She should have socks on.’ That’s great, do you have any? Because the three pairs I brought with me, she already chucked, so you do with that what you will,” Kylie said. She added that holding onto shoes has been problematic for one of her daughters in particular — and inspires “unsolicited mom advice” that she cannot stand.
“We had one child. I literally called her shoe-dini. We would lose a shoe everywhere we went. And I was like, ‘I’ve had enough. I’m not putting you in shoes anymore. F— shoes. You wear socks now.’ And that’s it,” said the mom of four. “And the one person was like, ‘Oh, um,’ and I was like, ‘No, no, nobody needs it.’ ”
Added Kylie: “I don’t need it. You don’t need it. You don’t need this heat. Stay out of my kitchen. I’m good.”
Host Kuch, who is currently expecting her second baby with husband Isaac Rochell, then inquired about a specific comment that made Kylie think, “I’m going to punch you in the face.”
“Well, sometimes I have just this underlying anger when people want to give unsolicited advice, so most comments that are unwelcome advice end up with me feeling like I could fix this really quick with a punch in the face,” the Not Gonna Lie host replied.
“I think it’s people offering advice that’s not helpful, right? It’s the unproductive,” she continued. “It is the socks. It is the hat. It is, ‘They shouldn’t be out in this weather,’ or things like that where you’re just like, ‘Actually, we’re going from the car 10 steps into this Dunkin’ Donuts so I can get what mom calls sanity juice a.k.a. a coffee. I need you to get so far away from me that you’re actually in a different zip code.’ ”
A specific source of frustration, Kylie then explained, is what she called “just wait” comments, which she explained are parenting remarks like “just wait until this sleep regression” and “just wait until they’re teething.”
Kylie said she really does her “best not to be this person — ‘cause I think sometimes it’s meant in a light-hearted way and it doesn’t land that way — but the ‘just wait’ comments are really hard.”
“They’re hard when you’ve been through that phase of motherhood and someone else is going through it,” she explained to Kuch, “because again, sometimes it’s meant in a light-hearted way, but being a mom who has felt pretty much every phase at this point of joy — the pits, postpartum experience — there are times to make jokes with a mom, and sometimes you don’t hit it.
“I really do my best to not do the ‘just wait’ in a negative way,” she added. “So when people say that to me, I think it hits my eardrum in a sharp way. I think the ‘just wait’ comments are hard. I think that I try to give people as much grace as I can muster up at the time, but they’re hard.”
I totally get that some people just naturally want to be helpful, but unsolicited advice can be so annoying. It’s usually thrown at you when you’re already in a stressful situation, too, like trying to get your kid to put their hat or coat on when it’s cold outside or stop a temper tantrum while managing multiple children. You’re already worried that they’ll, say, catch a cold and all it does is serve as a reminder that at least one other person is noticing the situation and that others are probably judging you. Most people mean well, but sometimes they need to read the room and mind their own business.
I especially hate the “just wait” type comments that Kylie mentions. They are never helpful! When I was pregnant with my older son, we were friendly with a couple whose baby was already a few months old. The husband used to constantly make comments like, “Just wait until you’re parents and never sleep again!” or “Just wait until the teething starts and he cries all of the time!” It was always said in a way that made me feel like he couldn’t wait for fellow new parents to be just as miserable as he was. Luckily, people didn’t really do that to me after my younger son was born. Now that the older one is in middle school, I get a lot of “Just wait until you have a teenager” comments. They don’t really bother me anymore, though, because I know they’re right.
Polite response: Thank you for your advice, have a nice day.
Deserved response: Do you have kids? Guess what. You aren’t a perfect parent either. Nobody is.
I have really enjoyed her mom type, solo episodes. She’s very grounded and I too default to wanting to punch folks 😂 If I was as tall as she is I’d be a problem 😂
But for real, she’s had an incredible expert come on to talk about post partum issues in a very personal way while not trauma dumping or centering herself. Her OB came on and is clearly a very kind and compassionate person.
She’s seems to have a similar outlook to being a mom that I do and it’s so refreshing after so much media is focused on cramming rules down everyone’s throat. You do you, fed is best, parent the kid you have and mind your own business.
I am so fortunate to have experienced motherhood in England where poking your nose into someone else’s business is genuinely taboo. Then you read the tabloids and realise they have no issues poking into your business if you’re a public figure or sufficiently affluent or apt to express an opinion, as a woman, in a public role. The logic seems to be, if you keep your head down, people smile kindly and let you get on with it. Put your head above the parapet and all hell breaks loose.
I’m so stealing this: “I need you to get so far away from me that you’re actually in a different zip code.’ ” 🤣🤣🤣
And yet….I learned so much. Though the advice was unsolicited, I still learned things I didn’t know. Whether it was about my kid or my dogs, listening to others opened my eyes, ears and heart to things I didn’t know before.
Whether it’s irritating in the moment or not. Whether it’s from a person I know, or not. When people share their experiences, the support they were offering, however clumsily, was welcomed, especially after I was widowed and the only parent…before the kid turned 2.
When offered with heart, I will listen, learn and/or offer comfort if someone is actually trying to share their experience through heartache.
So, quit being a whiny mom who has everything and start thinking about the heart that is sharing one of their own experiences, possibly at a cost to themselves. I find this woman irritating and smug.
I so disagree with your comments. In my experience people who comment like in her examples are trying to make themselves feel superior , and it doesn’t work because they end up sounding like a bitter jerk.
Tulipworthy ~ I so disagree with your comment. Oddly, to me, you are the one who sounds like a bitter jerk. As we are different people, how we receive commentary from others will be different too.
I prefer to receive them graciously. That has to be okay, too.
I’m with Tulipworthy on this one. Gail, you sound like the type of person Kylie Kelce is talking about, and it ain’t cute.
I tend to agree with you. I get that sometimes it just really isn’t appreciated, but it can be helpful sometimes too. Some stuff like “she should be wearing a hat/shoes” are more judgmental than advisory, and sometimes you want to complain/vent without solutions provided, but I’m usually happy when someone who did the thing I am currently trying to do provides insight
My favorite thing about Kylie is when she does say how she does any parenting thing, she adds/ other people do it differently, that’s good too.
She isn’t about her way to do it.
She’s about- no one needs the unsolicited advice.
I find unsolicited advice in general to be annoying, so I’m totally with her on this.
I don’t even particularly care if it’s well-meaning, which I don’t think it is 99% of the time. It’s just a way to judge someone and act superior.
I don’t believe its well-meaning either. Unsolicited advice is one of my biggest pet peeves because its usually based upon someone making a judgement based upon what they’re seeing in front of them, rather than the full situation. There’s also an expectation that one owes this nosy person an explanation which adds to the irritation.
For me it’s a combination of judgement and them asserting their superiority or self-assessed ‘expert’ status a) they took the time to notice someone else’s business, parenting in this case, and decided it’s wanting or wrong *based on their opinion/ standards/ habits* and b) they decided they were one-up, esteemed enough that a stranger must need their unsolicited correction in that moment.
Newsflash, folks, you aren’t the boss of the world … unless you’re my mom or my parenting coach, I don’t need or want your monitoring, judgement or correction.
I have a friend who has ideas about how everyone does everything and how it could be done better. It’s a habit of mind for her – we tease her saying she’s “replete with tweakiosity”, and she’s trying to avoid doing it.
Even she knows better to wade in with mom advice.
I’m in the camp of – if you see a parent putting their kid in a carseat, and putting a coffee on the roof of their car so they have both hands free, and then getting into the drivers seat, it’s ok to let them know there’s a coffee cup on their car still.
But any “shoulds” or “shouldn’ts” just keep to yourself
I’m with Kylie on this one. I relied on advice from my mom, because she was the best mom ever and she offered advice only when I asked for it — and managed somehow to never come across as judgmental.
But advice from randos? No thanks.
Now that my kids are grown, I only offer the kind of encouragement to strangers that my mom used to offer. She’d smile at a mom wrestling with toddlers in line at the grocery store and say something like, “It’s so hard sometimes, isn’t it? You’re doing great.” Or when a toddler was screaming, my mom would say, “Oh, I remember those moments. Hang in there.” And then she’d play peekaboo with the screaming infant and startle the screamer out of the tantrum. She was a baby whisperer.
I will never forget the worst unsolicited advice I ever received from the woman in the elevator at daycare who told me that my baby was too young for daycare and I should take her home. That was unsolicited, unkind, and insensitive. I was already struggling with the decision, despite knowing it was the best choice for our family, and my emotions were running high. I think I just stood there with my mouth open until we got off the elevator. And despite my best efforts, she continues to live rent free in my brain. My daughter is now 12. And I still replay that moment in my head whenever I have doubts about my parenting.
You never know when your unsolicited comment will be what that moment was for me. Stick to the litmus test- Is it True?, Is it Kind?, is it Necessary?.
That person is probably still completely miserable and continues to try and make themselves feel better by being an a-hole. They’ll never catch what they’re chasing until they actually look at themselves to figure out why they are so miserable in life.
This is to @KA, that is horrifying!!!! I can’t believe you didn’t tell her to mind her own damn business & keep her opinions to herself. If the nursery thought she was ready, they’re the experts, fwiw. My god. I always felt like, parenting is a relationship to another human being. That human being just happens to be vulnerable and incredibly loud. LOL. Tiny and fierce. Do I tell other women how to relate to their mothers, fathers, husbands, boyfriends, etc….??? No. That would be hugely taboo, grossly presumptuous, and just plain weird. Why does anyone think it’s appropriate to tell a woman how to relate to her own baby???
I give 2 pieces of unsolicited advice to people both during pregnancy and after. The first one was given to me and it makes sense. The second I realized when my kids grew up. I wish I realized it sooner.
*Hear what everyone has to say; you don’t have to listen. You never know what will work for you, or what you may not have thought about, but then do what ever you decide is best and do not apologize for your choices. You are the parent. Do what you think is best.
*Take video. Take a ton of videos. Pictures are nice and all, but you have no idea when the baby voice will slip away and how much you will love hearing it years later.