By now, we all know the cycle. Weeks of smears, lies and royalist hissy fits followed by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex showing up somewhere, looking great, doing good work and getting tons of attention. Followed by the same royalists crashing out over how their campaign failed so spectacularly. That’s been the past six years. You would think that the royalists would have found a different strategy, but I also think that they’re stuck running this play over and over because it’s the palace’s play. This is a reflection of the palace hivemind of how to deal with Harry and Meghan. At least with the Sussexes’ Australian trip, the crashouts came swiftly. Harry and Meghan were barely in Oz for 24 hours before royal biographers were hyperventilating on radio shows and columnists put their tantrums in writing. From the Telegraph’s Alison Pearson and her latest piece, “Harry and Meghan need to stop pretending they’re Royals. It’s embarrassing.” Say it back in a whiny voice, like you’re a toddler who is mad about your bedtime. This is actually one of the most vile columns I’ve seen about the Sussexes in a minute, and I can’t believe the Telegraph actually published it.
They’re still crashing out over jam: If I were the manager of the InterContinental Coogee Beach, I would look out for the Duchess trying to flog her raspberry jam – sorry, “Signature Fruit Spread” – at breakfast. Reports in January suggested she had managed to offload more than 850,000 jars, generating approximately £26.7m in sales, which does make you wonder why Prince Harry and Mrs Clingy Attention-Seeker need to make this “quasi-royal mini-tour”, which has been described rather huffily as “a number of private, business and philanthropic engagements”.
Royal LARPing!! What an embarrassment the Sussexes have become with their hollow royal cos-playing. The King, who, let us not forget, has cancer, will very soon be making an actual, non-quasi state visit to Washington DC. An engagement which will require all his skills of diplomacy and good humour as he meets a president who has been loudly trumpeting Britain’s cowardly irrelevance (not entirely without provocation). Plus, there will be unfair pressure for poor Charles to meet victims of Jeffrey Epstein on account of the disgraced Andrew – like Harry, another exiled second son. Spares are a bloody liability.
These people hate the idea of Charles spending time with his grandkids: In truth, with their five-year contract not renewed by Netflix, things are getting a teeny bit tough for Harry and Meghan. It may even be dawning on the terrible, talentless twosome who have ever preferred “my truth” to observable reality that being alienated from the brand that is the source of your power – in fact, is the only reason anyone wants to invite you anywhere – may have turned out to be really stupid. Hence the sudden angling for an invitation to a summer stay with Grandpa at Balmoral. Good luck with that.
Arrogant Meghan: Little did the deluded, B-list actress Meghan appreciate that Her Best Life was the one she was lucky enough to marry into and so arrogantly threw away. Now, she is reduced to selling access to herself at a wellness retreat amidst fading brand loyalty. You can still get a ticket for £1,400. Don’t all rush at once.
Incidentally, I think there were still some late tickets available at the Her Best Life retreat because the organizers kept canceling the reservations made by journalists and derangers. But honestly, this is what a full crashout looks like – a pitifully unhinged rant because they can’t control Harry and Meghan anymore. All of this boils down a few simple statements from these horrible people: I’m mad that the Sussexes are getting attention; I’m mad that they can travel wherever they want, however they want, and do whatever they want; I’m mad that the Sussexes are more popular than the stale left-behinds; I’m mad that Harry & Meghan are financially successful and pay their way, and I’m doing everything I can to ruin their business.
The part about Charles’s state visit to the US is particularly notable given that the state visit doesn’t even start for two more weeks and it’s crazy to demand that Harry & Meghan should have stayed home IN ADVANCE of Charles’s state visit. That one argument makes me wonder if this woman got an earful from some Buckingham Palace courtier. Speaking of, here’s a taste of Robert Jobson’s Wednesday-morning crashout on BBC Radio 5:
— Jo (@jozzzaphen) April 15, 2026
Photos courtesy of Cover Images.
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- The Duke and Duchess of Sussex visit and meet patients and their family members during a visit to the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne, Victoria, on day one of the royal trip to Australia Featuring: Meghan Markle Where: Melbourne, Australia When: 14 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke and Duchess of Sussex visit and meet patients and their family members during a visit to the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne, Victoria, on day one of the royal trip to Australia Featuring: Meghan Markle Where: Melbourne, Australia When: 14 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke and Duchess of Sussex during a visit to the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne, Victoria, on day one of the royal trip to Australia. Featuring: Harry, Duke of Sussex Where: Melbourne, Australia When: 14 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duchess of Sussex takes part a therapy session in the Kelpie garden with adolescent patients during a visit to the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne, Victoria, on day one of the royal trip to Australia. Featuring: Meghan, Duchess of Sussex Where: Melbourne, Australia When: 14 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke and Duchess of Sussex arrive at the Australian National Veterans Arts Museum (Anvam) in Southbank, Melbourne, Victoria, on day one of the royal trip to Australia. Featuring: Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex Where: Melbourne, Australia When: 14 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke of Sussex is presented with a Western Bulldogs scarf during a visit to Movember at the Western Bulldogs HQ at Mission Whitten Oval, in Footscray, Melbourne, on day two of the royal trip to Australia. Featuring: Harry, Duke of Sussex Where: Melbourne, Australia When: 15 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke of Sussex views the Captain Reg Saunders wall at the Australian War Memorial in Campbell, Canberra, on day two of the royal trip to Australia. Featuring: Harry, Duke of Sussex Where: Canberra, Australia When: 15 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke of Sussex by the Pool of Reflection after the Last Post Ceremony at the Australian War Memorial in Campbell, Canberra, on day two of the royal trip to Australia. Featuring: Harry, Duke of Sussex Where: Canberra, Australia When: 14 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke of Sussex views the Wall of Remembrance at the Australian War Memorial in Campbell, Canberra, on day two of the royal trip to Australia. Featuring: Harry, Duke of Sussex Where: Canberra, Australia When: 14 Apr 2026 Credit: Jonathan Brady/PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
Again when they don’t have control over the Sussexes it’s their goal to hurt them anyway they can!!! It’s not working!! The Sussexes are killing their PRIVATE TOUR!! Cry more bitter tears over the loss ( who you helped make leave) of this charismatic and kind couple . You are stuck with the boring and incompetent and very lazy couple who don’t act royal at all!!
That’s the irony. They hounded and bullied them to leave and said the family had secret weapons and the magnificent wales family to keep them afloat. You don’t fly to Australia to follow private citizens if the left behinds were enough. The press don’t want to admit they messed up. I’m telling you, we’ve already seen people beg the family to welcome them back on tv and print, the press aren’t going to last until the Wales Children get older. They can barely hold on now. It seems as the years go on, the grieving for what was, people haven’t recovered from them leaving.
The Sussexes do, in fact, still have a contract with Netflix. And it’s as if she’s not aware of Archewell Philanthropies, Archewell Productions, Invictus, BetterUp, etc. And Meghan’s doing the Wellness Retreat thing as a favour for a friend. Good grief.
And when Cookie Queens starts getting even more accolades, which I predict it will, based on all the feel-good reviews, what then?
It’s not pretending or cosplay if his name is still on the damn line of succession and on the rolls of royal titles.
Has there been an act of parliament to remove them?
No and no. Press needs to go to their nearest cafe and order a tall cup of iced STFU.
He is a royal duke and it wasn’t that long ago when comments like the press are making could have resulted in treason charges.
Right? He’s royal? So is Andrew really. They are members of the royal family, with or without titles. Unless you off them, that’s not going away. Unless you abolish the whole system, that’s not going away. Sorry? Cry more.
😂😂😂😂 I am truly living for the hysterics, coping, bitterness and tears. They dont have a leg to stand on and the Prince Andrew scandal, the Wales’ Laziness and the irrelevant others aren’t going away. Interest in Royalty went away with the Sussexes leaving and the Queen’s death and the press have no access and losing jobs/credibilty. I’m dying 😂
It’s hilarious. We are witnessing grown adults having tantrums.
Grown adults saying things like this in a newspaper, a supposed broadsheet:
“Mrs Clingy Attention-Seeker”
“the terrible, talentless twosome”
“the deluded, B-list actress”
Meowww. What a bitter and shrieking tirade. Embarrassing.
And if the “spares are such a bloody liability, then why keep having them? So they know they’re necessary for the monarchy but then berate their existence. Sounds like a problem with the system.
The press has descended into full psychosis. Absolutely unhinged. Gone Bodmin. They’re so far down the rabbit hole they can’t see how cooked they are, nor how stupid they sound.
Unending verbal diarrhea from palace to tabloid. Every vituperative outburst about the Sussexes seals the fate of the tabloids, the courtiers, and the left behind BRF. The BRF sinks themselves by supporting these attacks, and proves every day that H&M were fortunate in being able to get out.
Right? Like you’re supposed to be pretending you are a professional, this sounds like something that would be in a burn book not a national newspaper.
Between this article and that audio, these people need some actual help. It is not healthy to be this invested in some strangers to the extent that you’re upset to this degree that they aren’t failures.
And again it all comes back to the same point, what Harry and Meghan six years later should not have this strong of an impact on the British royal family. Meghan hasn’t even been there in 4 years nor has she mentioned them in just as long. And Harry is an infrequent visitor to say the least. The fact that it does is the problem not what Harry and Meghan are doing.
It’s like she just cut and paste from a bunch of deranger accounts on X or Threads.
And agree with @Dee(2), this is basically full on meltdowns at this point. They really did think H&M were just going to fail after a year and come crawling back. and one of the sad things is that their hate filled screeds just make H&M more popular, because as more people see them and meet them in person they realize….oh wait, they’re actually very nice, very intelligent, very warm people.
It’s also a bit scary at times. I hope H&M can keep their family safe. I hope this propaganda bullshit will not drive some deranged basement dweller to actually harm them. And I hope that there is someone still around to control William’s anger, and he won’t drive himself into a frenzy that will lead to harm to the Sussexes. I didn’t mean to be so ominous but the rage was palpable in this one and it’s scary.
Protests of Charles in the USA perhaps
Why would we bother? We already threw out the British Monarchy.
The only downside is that Cluck and Mari Lwyd are coming well after March 17, which is still celebrated as Evacuation Day in Massachusetts.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evacuation_Day_(Massachusetts)
@ Wheresmytiara:
“Mari Lwyd”
☠️☠️☠️
I don’t even understand this article, she’s upset that Meghan is doing the retreat because she’s earned plenty of money, and also say she is reduced to selling herself for money?
Again what is this weirdness about earning money? All the other stuff is just the usual royalist bitterness that Harry and Meghan didn’t turn out to be failures, that ignores their success but the money thing keeps popping up on a daily.
How did they legitimately expect them to live? Because there’s literally nothing that they’ve done that they have found appropriate. Whether it’s start their own business, give speeches, sign media deals, Meghan doing cameos on shows, Meghan and Harry investing in firms, there is nothing that is ” appropriate” for them to earn money now they don’t have to ask ” Pa” or ” Willy” with their caps in hand.
Making money means independence and people asking why royals can’t make their own money. Harry wasnt lying when he said their existence is a threat. It’s clear many didn’t expect them to leave. They thought Meghan was desperate enough to stay and thought Harry would never leave. The problem about them making money is because they wanted them to come crawling back, begging for forgiveness and broke or better yet Meghan gone and Harry come back. Six years of them making millions was not the plan. Not to mention, they have no access to their financials. Thats irritating them to no end as well.
This exactly how it sounds when someone escapes from their abusers.
100%. The emotional, physical, and financial abuse Harry suffered was real and no amount of courtier spin can erase that.
Hard to listen to that, because you’re right it is exactly how an abuser reacts to being left.. very disturbing.
Yikes, this level of hysteria isn’t healthy for either of them.
The way Jobsen was crashing out about the sussex tour overshadowing the king’s state visit, I figured the state visit was this Monday or something. But it’s in 2 weeks??? omg. The best part of that interview was when the bbc host called Jobsen a royal commentator and he started huffing that no he was not a commentator, he was a royal author, a #1 NYT selling author!!! That was a child’s tantrum, an absolute tantrum. He’s lucky it was only on the radio and there’s no video.
Oh, I think we are ALL lucky that this was on the radio instead of TV. I’m sure Jobson was not pretty during his episode, and that he probably spits when he talks.
I am laughing because all I could picture was him sitting there sweating, spitting and trying to catch his breath. A sight that no one should ever see. He will forever be the one who “joked” about dangling Archie from a balcony like how Michael Jackson did his son. Jabba is a very disturbed man.
I love when she calls them “young” and he’s like “well they’re in their 40s, is that young?” But meanwhile for William and Kate, being in your mid 40s means you should still be infantilized and coddled because you’re “still learning.”
Jobbo trying to say that this Australian tour was the same as the Duke of Windsor visiting Nazi Germany was just insane.
Earning money for some of the events is not the same a supporting a dictator. And as it stands it sure looks like they have packed this visit with a lot of charitable visits and only one paid engagement each.
Kudos to Rachel the BBC journalist for holding her own against Jobson’s unhinged tantrum
(comparing Australia to Nazi Germany wtf)
Fr, the way she had to say well Australia isn’t the same as nazi Germany. She was borderline laughing the whole interview which was the exact tone to take. More people need to do this.
This vile article clearly shows the ugliness inside of Alison. The Telegraph should be embarrassed for printing such filth.
Hey Fool/Alison, they are royalty! He’s the son of your king, and the brother and uncle of your future kings. One doesn’t get more royal than that! And he’ll always be royal and he fully embodies that concept more than the left behinds ever could. And more importantly, he’s one of Princess Diana’s sons, and the son who is most like her. Her marriage also makes her royal and we know how much you guys hate that! The Sussexes run circles around and put your “superior” left behind royals to shame every time they leave their mansion, no matter how mundane the activity. And these facts are the real reasons for the constant crashouts, temper tantrums, and hissy fits by the RF and their BM flunkies. She and her fellow scribbles will make a lot of money reporting on the boring and lazy left behinds. They’re in trouble if they get paid per word.
They keep casting aspersions on their royal status because the tabloid and palace racists are livid a biracial woman married a royal. It’s always the racism.
They don’t want Meghan to have the money she has. The platform she has. The status she has. The freedom she has. Nevermind the fact she’s also a whole Princess of Nigeria now.
Jobson equated the H&M hospital visit and other Australia engagements to Edward’s tour of Nazi Germany?????????
He was literally spitting as he spewed his crap.
And Alison Pearson is such a see-you-next-Tuesday. I want my money back for the paperback version of one of her novels that I bought before I knew she was deranged. It was terrible.
Like wearing a chest full of medals when you’ve never been to war isn’t cosplay? Good grief. The whole appeal of the modern royals is their cosplay.
When they resort to insults and namecalling they already losy and they know it.
The hatred is consuming their souls. Harry is fifth in line to the throne, how is him stepping back from royal duties such a huge concern? So he said he had problems with certain people in his family, as do most people. Family issues are pretty much par for the course. The level of craziness that surrounds Harry and Meghan is beyond anything I can even verbalize. I don’t think I have even seen this crazy level of hatred for Trump, who has caused problems worldwide.
Nevermind trump, I don’t think I’ve seen this level of hostility for Andrew, for God’s sake.
I can’t believe that she is so incompetent in her writing that she referred to this trip and the Sussexes as “royal cosplaying” when in her first couple of sentences she refers to him as “Prince Harry” and her as “the Duchess”. How do these people continue to have jobs when they vontradict themselves in their own articles and are obviously too dense to understand the concept of him still being Royal by blood and her still being Royal by marriage. No matter where they go or what they do, they will be doing it as royals. Although this is far from being what they consider to be a royal tour because Harry and Meghan surpass what the left behinds do whenever they go on tour. The media are the ones who leaked this trip and immediately referred to it as a royal tour, so if they go there on a private capacity and speak where they were invited to speak after a year of planning and the media sees it as a royal tour, they only have themselves to blame. Also, how does anyone decide what Meghan’s “best life” is and assume that her being placed in crosshairs amongst racist royals, their staff and media had to have been her best life? That is how these people reveal themselves and how jealous they are of Meghan because they think that as long as she’s in the royal bubble she should have sucked it up and been okay with being amongst racist incompetent fools. Never-mind that these people had racist concerns about her and the potential skin tone of her children or that they befriend racists who have attacked her and her children and this family has never once condemned the racist abuse towards any of them.
This is why I never believe British people when they scoff, “oh, the royals, no one cares about them! They just hum along in the background.” That might have been true of the late Queen — not that they didn’t care about her, but they took her for granted, she was low-key, no drama, it’s what it looks like to be professional, she was nothing if not professional — but it is *not* true now. LOL. So, you have to ask, what psychological / social / political drive does this family serve in the U.K. ? Cause… if it’s a stick with which to beat people, I mean, the ones who look like Nazi sympathisers are the ones writing this screeching propaganda.
How is it LARPing when they’re actually royal? He’s still a Prince, and she’s still a Duchess. These writers simply have zero shame. Miserable people write miserable things.
Something that in her own article she admits that they are still royals by opening the article by calling them by their titles of “Prince” and “Duchess”. That’s what makes these people so unbelievably pathetic. They just rant about things that aren’t even true and they know they aren’t true.
Exactly how are they not royals? They are no longer officially working for RF in UK but Harry and Meghan and children are still family. Harry ‘s grandparents were Queen and Prince Philip and his dad is King now and his brother will eventually be King. I find it so sad that Andrew was included and paraded at family events but Harry and Meghan were shunned, excluded and briefed again by family members.
What’s the point of this piece? They thought that Harry and Meghan’s visit would be a failure and now every columnist and royal commentator is having a meltdown.
All these fits are happening because William and Kate are lacking. They are lazy, charisma free and hiding from the people who pay for their lifestyle.
If they didn’t have serious concerns about them they wouldn’t even bother talking about Harry and Meghan.
They’re upset that this Australia visit is full of love and support for the Sussex’ and in a couple of weeks Charles is going to look like a huge boob by meeting one of the world’s top pedophiles and smooching to his huge backside. And they’re going to have to put a ridiculously positive spin on it. They’re mad they have to put lipstick on the pigs.
I hope the ambulance is on standby for Robert because he seems on the verge of a stroke. 😀😀