In the past week, many of us have been confused by some bizarre “reporting” from Dan Wakeford, the former editor of People and Us Weekly, who now spends his time shilling gossip on his subscription newsletter. Wakeford seems to be trying to do the same thing as Tom Sykes, Paula Froelich and many of the British royal reporters: profit from the gullible and unhinged Deranger contingent, a group of people willing to bankrupt themselves to hate on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. They say the hate-campaign against Harry and Meghan is a billion-dollar industry, but all of these people move like broke-ass losers. Anyway, Wakeford (who is British) chatted with Tom Sykes last week and Sykes parroted Wakeford’s subscription-newsletter “exclusive.” That exclusive? That Harry and Meghan are “wildly unhappy,” with a gutted operation and a million mortgages on their home. And something about how Harry doesn’t like California anymore and he wants to live in Montana! And Harry has spent all of his inheritance and his book profits and the Netflix money, according to Deranger Math™. Well, the Sussexes’ spokesperson finally said something:

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s spokesperson clapped back at a former magazine editor over claims that their money is running out and they are “wildly unhappy.”

Dan Wakeford is a past editor of People and Us Weekly and at both magazines was involved in publishing major PR fightbacks by the duchess’ aides or friends.

An edition of his Celebrity Intelligence newsletter, though, he says the couple is unhappy and fast running out of money with a major change in their lifestyle needed within around five years. The piece is based on interviews with five anonymous sources.

Newsweek understands that their finances are a closely guarded secret known to few staffers.

A spokesperson for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex told Newsweek: “The ‘unnamed sources,’ once again, doing a lot of very heavy lifting in this report. If they had any faith or evidence to back up what they allege, I don’t understand why they wouldn’t just go on the record with such claims…still, I suppose it makes writing a lot easier for Mr. Wakeford when you don’t have an editor standing over you asking you to evidence it or ‘stand it up.'”

[From Newsweek]

I’m glad that the Sussexes clapped back but I wish they would go even harder. I’ve always believed that they need to do more to push back on all of the pocketwatching bullsh-t about their finances and businesses, because this crap has gotten beyond absurd. Still, Harry and Meghan’s spox is doing a lot more than they used to, circa 2023. It’s smart to point out that Wakeford is just some guy nowadays, not a major editor, not a journalist. He’s just pushing the same old lies from the same old “unnamed sources.”

Incidentally, I’ve had a little side-conspiracy for years now that when people like Wakeford or outlets like Variety quote “unnamed former staffers,” they are in fact quoting former or current royal staffers who worked in various capacities for Harry and Meghan circa 2018. As in, you have British people sobbing about “mean, broke Meghan” eight years after they refused to work for Meghan at Kensington Palace. It would explain a lot.

I have a few other side-conspiracies, if anyone is interested. One, these people are still mad as hell about the Sussexes’ Australian tour and this is all part of a weeks-long distraction from their failed attempts to sabotage the Sussexes’ tour. Two, the “broke” claims are always projection – in the past week, we’ve learned that Pippa Middleton’s sad petting zoo was like a million dollars in debt and that she and her husband sold the property because of it.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.