Just when you thought it was safe to diss the crazy, loudmouthed and now officially ex wife of Paul McCartney, sources are reporting that freshly-made millionaire Heather Mills has hired ballbusting attorney Gloria Allred and plans to travel to the U.S. soon. What does the U.S. have to do with anything? Can’t we be left out of it?

With at least $33 million burning a hole in her pocket, Heather Mills has hired Gloria Allred to be her advocate in the United States.

Gloria, who says she’s honored to represent Heather, tells PageSix.com, “Heather was delighted with the outcome today. It was about justice. Heather was a winner before she met Paul, and she will continue to be a winner. I admire Heather for her charity work.”

Heather told reporters today that she didn’t want the judgment to be made public because it would reveal information about the daughter she has with McCartney, Beatrice. Gloria tells us, “It’s my preference that everything be kept private because of Heather’s daughter. However, if it’s going to be made public, then everything should be made public, including the complete transcripts from the proceedings. Heather has often been treated unfairly.”

Tomorrow, a London court will decide how much information is released to the public. Allred wouldn’t comment about Mills’ future travel plans to the U.S.

[From Page Six]

First of all, why on earth does Heather Mills need to come anywhere near the U.S.? Nobody here likes her, and she is definitely not going to win over any hearts and minds with Gloria Allred as her mouthpiece. Heather didn’t want the judgment to be made public? Are you freakin’ kidding me? She was standing on the front steps of the courthouse blabbing her face off as soon as the judgment was made! And don’t even get me started on Gloria Allred. That woman takes the phrase “publicity whore” to an entirely new– and disgusting– level. I really can’t think of two more insipid, vile women on the planet than these two.

I sure am going to miss Heather’s old publicist. Remember her wacky YouTube videos, and how she tried to paint a sympathetic picture of a woman so poor, she “had to drive a PT Cruiser”? Well, now that Heather has her hooks into Paul’s money, she’s not messing around anymore. The Daily Mail estimated that Heather received 700 pounds for every hour she was married to Paul. Relatively speaking, I’d say that’s a bargain. Maybe she should call Eliot Spitzer once she arrives in the U.S. I hear he’s looking for a new whore to spend his money on these days.